SPORTS NIGHT: Great Quotes
Episode 1-01: PREMIERE

[Isaac and Dana, walking through the hall]
Isaac: I think the show's going to hell in a handbasket, and I'm ready to fire the bunch of you.
Dana: Yes, but you won't because we're all like family here and I'm like a daughter to you.
Isaac: No -- this is a television show here, and you're very much like an employee to me.


[Dan and Casey, waiting for the rundown meeting to begin]
Dan: It's a genuine renaissance, Casey. I've lived in New York my whole life; this is the time I should be sick of it, but I'm not.
Casey: 'Cause you're having a renaissance?
Dan: That's right
Casey: Really?
Dan: Yeah.
Casey: Nobody cares!

[JJ objects to the piece on Ntozake Nelson, black South African comeback runner]
JJ: Can't we find a good-looking American who might actually win?
Dana: Well if you find him, send him over to my place.

Dan [to JJ after Casey has stormed out of the rundown meeting]: You ever ride the subway all day long -- I mean, just for the fun of it?

[JJ and Dan, later in the rundown meeting]
JJ: My point is: at the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor -- and you know it, Dan. Now I think the time has come for you to think of the possibility of another partner.
Dan: I'm not going to do the show with your high school driving instructor, if that's what you're asking me, OK?
JJ: Who will you do the show with?
Dan: I'll do the show with Casey.
JJ: You've got a very big future at this network, Dan--
Dan: My future -- is writing and anchoring a sports program with my partner, Casey McCall. Now if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's somewhere else. For right now, I'm going to forget this conversation ever took place.

[Dana has come into Casey's office to have a talk]
Casey: Dana, did you come in here to give me a pep talk? 'Cause if you came in here to give me a pep talk, can we assume that it happened, that it worked, and that I'm peppy already!
. . .
Dana: I love producing Sports Night. I live from 11 to midnight and the rush is so huge that I don't come down until 3 o'clock in the morning. I love doing Sports Night, and you used to, too!

[Jeremy's interview for the Associate Producer position]
Dana: Where are you strongest?
Jeremy: Oh, football.
Dana: Great, let's talk about basketball!
Jeremy: I said football.
Dana: I heard you -- let's talk about basketball.
Jeremy: We can talk about baseball or hockey --
Dane: Ah -- you're pretty strong in baseball and hockey, are yah?
Jeremy: Not as strong as football --
Dana: Great -- let's talk about the Knicks!

[Dana asks Jeremy to name 3 things that the Knicks need to do to get into the NBA finals]
Jeremy: Improve their free throw percentage . . .
Natalie: Yes.
Jeremy: Run the floor . . .
Dana: OK, one more . . .
Jeremy: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
Natalie [jumping up]: Excellent!
Dana: Well, welcome to Sports Night!

[Casey tells Dan that he wants to quit]
Casey: Look, I got into this 'cause I like getting people to like sports. And I've turned into a PR man for punks and thugs.
. . .
I have a 7-year old son that I get to see on Wednesdays and alternate weekends, and these are his heroes. And now, 6 days a week, these are his male role models.
Dan: Quitting your job ought to do the trick.
. . .
You should definitely quit your job -- because that way, sports will be good again. Also, your wife, she'll take you back, and -- you can be a role model for your son! Knowing as we do, how -- how women and children, you know, admire the bitter and the unemployed. Are you mental?!
Casey: I'll see you at air time.
Dan: Yeah, one thing you definitely don't want to do is talk to your friends -- I wouldn't do that!
. . .
Dan: I've been here every day, Casey, every day. And I've kept my mouth shut because that's what you asked me to do. But if you'd have asked me, I'd have told you that Lisa is an angry unhappy punishing woman, and in 10 years there's never been a single moment that has suggested to me that she has any affection for you at all. And I have no patience for people like that.
. . .
Now the people here, they like you -- Isaac, Natalie, Kim, Elliot, . . .

[Casey, having called up his son to see Ntozake Nelson run]
Casey: I want you to watch this; this guy's name is Ntozake Nelson. [listens for a moment] He's not doing much, he's just running faster than any man's ever run before.

[Casey and Dan at the anchor desk]
Casey: You wanna do something tonight after the show?
Dan: Yeah -- you know I was thinking of riding the Staten Island Ferry for a while and eating a hot dog -- you wanna come?
Casey: Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why: 'cause it's 17 degrees outside with the wind chill, so what I wanna do is stand in a boat in the middle of New York Harbor at half past midnight--

mowing the line
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