DISCLAIMER: Hoo boy! Another fun one. Richie, of course, is a free agent. Nick and Nat belong to Sony and James Parriott. Joe, even though he isn't really in this, still has the misfortune of belonging to Panzer/Davis. The Secret Villain ... ain't gonna tell, except she ain't ours. Everyone else is ours.

Special thanks to Regan and Beth for beta duties.

Extra special thanks go to Sue Clark for pointing something out about Elaine's personality that I should have already known. This story wouldn't be the same without her.

Back to Reality

A small, dark shape flew along the skyline, searching for prey.

It'd taken her longer to revive this time, but she had. They all thought she was dead. Ha! Nothing would stop her this time. She'd show them. She'd show them all.

She had a much better understanding of the world now. Last time, she had just rushed in, unprepared. She had let her hatred take over. Not this time. This time she would be more careful. Show all of them how much her father's daughter she really was.

Prey found, she swooped down and was on him before he knew what had hit him.

Glory. Ecstasy.

She'd been right about his one. He was pure evil. Evil enough for several lifetimes.

So involved was the vampire with her dinner that she didn't realize it when she tore his head off. She just knew when the lightning hit her.

Reality Morgan stretched out on the park bench, picked up a pencil and sketched the park into her sketch book.

::I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored.::

"Truth, will you knock that off!" Reality snapped. Unfortunately, her rather vocal outburst got her some strange looks from the people nearby, because she had been the only one to hear the rather obnoxious and monotone rantings that had caused her to blow up in the first place. ::You didn't have to come to the park with me, you know!::

::But I'm bored,:: Truth's Magik, the intelligent, sentient, telepathic sword whined form his hiding spot in the pocket of her denim jacket. ::You've been sitting here on the same damn park bench for the last three hours, doing nothing but sketching this stupid park. I'm tired, I'm cold, it's getting dark, AND I'M BORED!::

Reality sighed. ::You're a sword, you don't get cold,:: she pointed out.

::Details. Always with the details,:: Truth groaned.

::One last sketch and I promise we'll go home, okay?:: Reality suggested. ::I just need to work on my landscapes for awhile, my realism has been suffering since I started getting heavy into manga.::

Truth snorted. ::Fine one you are to talk about realism, Miss Green-Haired Freak.::

::It is not green,:: Reality sent back. ::It's more of a teal. Maybe an aquamarine.::

::In whose version of the universe?:: Truth asked.

::Truth, ya overgrown tongue depressor, the sooner ya shut up, the sooner I can get this over with,:: Reality replied.

::I want ice cream.::

Reality rolled her eyes. ::Truth, you're a sword, you can't eat ice cream,:: she replied. ::You don't have a mouth.::

::But I can taste it through you,: Truth reminded her. ::Promise me we can get ice cream on the way home and I'll shut up.::

::Fine, we'll stop for a scoop of chocolate bubble gum surprise on the way home,:: Reality agreed.

::Two scoops.::

Reality debated the intelligence of tossing her sword into the nearby reflecting pool Na, do that and then I'll just have to listen to him whine about rust damage. ::Fine, two scoops.::

::On a sugar cone.::

::On a sugar cone. Now will you just shut the hell up?!::

::Shutting up, oh wise and wonderful wielder.::

Reality picked up her pencil and went back to sketching, just as the first clap of thunder hit. "Perfect," she sighed, looking up at the quickly approaching storm clouds. "Just friggin' prefect." She closed her sketch book and packed up her belongings.

::Reality, there is something very weird about this storm,:: Truth said.

"You mean other than the fact that it just popped up out of nowhere?" Reality asked.

::Yep,:: Truth answered. ::Turn your mage sight up and look up.::

Reality 'turned' the mental light switch in her head, giving power to the ability that allowed her to see magikal auras. Then she glanced up at the storm clouds and started. "Holy shit!"

Under her normal vision, the sky had looked dark and dangerous -- like your average thunderstorm. Now it was a multi-colored turmoil of swirling air, abnormal lightning bolts, and a....

"Is that a hole?" Reality asked, confused.

::Looks that way to me,:: Truth answered.

Reality threw her backpack over her shoulder and walked towards the hole in the sky, ignoring the other park-goers who were quickly running in the opposite direction. "It looks a little like a dimensional gateway."

::Um, Reality?::

"Yes, Truth?"

::Run.::

"Run?" Reality happened to glance to her left and noticed a puce tornado coming right towards her.

::RUN!::

Reality took off as fast as her little silver canvas hightop-clad feet would take her.

It wasn't fast enough. The strange whirlwind soon caught her and picked her up, carrying her towards the hole.

::I take it this means the ice cream is off?::

"Richay," Elaine called out from the kitchen. "Ah need a tastah."

Richie set down his beer and got up. "If I'm not back in ten minutes," he told his guests, "don't wait up."

Nick and Nat smiled at each other as they watched him leave. Elaine was so different around Richie and Aria than when they saw her in Toronto. She was so much more open, more relaxed.

Happy.

It was a strange arrangement, but they had to admit Richie and Aria were good for her. A lot better than LaCroix was.

Richie found Elaine standing over a skillet.

"So what's on the menu tonight?" he asked.

"Stah-fry," she answered. "An' Ah'm havin' trouble with the spices."

"You sure you're not just looking for an excuse to get your teeth into me?" he teased.

"That, too."

Somehow, Elaine managed to distract enough of her mind away from what they were doing to find a spoon and hand it to Richie. "Taste."

Richie did so. "Perfect," he announced. "As usual."

"Yah prejudiced. Mah tahn." Elaine brought one of Richie's hands up to her mouth and pierced a finger with a fang. Delicately lapping up the drop of blood that formed, she smiled.

"Needs moah cahray," she teased. "Jus' kiddin'. Yah right, it's done. Help meh set the table."

Together, they got out place settings for two, along with a couple of extra glasses for herself and Nick, and the four sat down to dinner.

A few minutes later, Nick and Elaine reached up and covered their ears.

"What the hell is that?!" Elaine yelled.

"What's what, babe?" Richie asked, shrugging.

"That horrendous noise," Nick answered for her.

"I don't hear anything," Nat said.

"Me, either," Richie agreed.

Just then, they too began to hear the loud buzzing and familiar -- to Richie, at any rate -- sound. It got louder and louder until it popped, culminating in a large crash.

"What in the world was that?" Natalie asked.

"Uh, I don't know," Richie lied. It wasn't a total lie. He thought he had an idea, he just wasn't sure. "Why don't I go outside and check it out?"

Before any of the others could argue, he ran out front.

Reality was flat on her back in the front yard, surrounded by branches, twigs and leaves from the tree she had fallen through. "Stop the world, Ma," she moaned. "I wanna throw up."

::Another brilliant landing, Reality,:: Truth said sarcastically.

"Don't you start with me, Aluminum Boy," Reality replied. "You can't go blaming this one on me. I had absolutely nothing to do with it." She pushed herself up into a sitting position, immediately regretting it. "Oh, rotation is not a good thing." She dropped her head into her hands to try and stop everything from spinning.

::Humans, drop them on their heads and they go all to pieces,:: Truth sighed. ::Lord only knows why, though. Not like there's anything important up there.::

"Truth, once my head stops spinning, I'm going to hurt you," Reality sighed. "Now where in the hell are we?"

"Well, at the moment, you're sitting on my front lawn."

Reality looked up at the front porch and grinned. Once she got her eyes to focus at any rate. "Richie!"

::Monkey Boy!:: Truth called happily.

"You had to bring the sword, didn't you?" Richie sighed.

"Not like he gives me much of a choice," Reality pointed out.

Richie shrugged. "Oh well, I'm glad to see you anyway," he said. "But I had no idea you were coming for a visit."

"Ha, neither did I," Reality replied sheepishly.

"How could you not know?" Richie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Beats the fark out of me, man," Reality shrugged.

"Reality, what exactly happened?" Richie asked.

"Richie, I'm not exactly sure," Reality answered. "Look, it's kind of a funky story and I'd rather not go into it on your front lawn. Keep me out here too long and your neighbors may start wondering about you."

"They, uh, they kind of already wonder about me," Richie said, blushing.

Reality's eyebrow tried to rejoin her hairline. "They wonder about you, Mr. All-American?" she asked, amazed. "What they'd do? Catch you doing the hack and slash?"

"Not exactly," Richie answered. "I'll tell you later. Why don't you come inside before my friends start wondering about me, too?"

"Friends?" Reality asked, intrigued.

::Kilt-boy, Big Nose, and the other one here?:: Truth added.

"No, Mac, Methos and Joe are still in Seacouver," Richie answered. "These are some new friends. But I think you'll like them, too."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Reality remembered. "You moved to San Francisco recently, didn't ya?" She managed to get to her feet, grabbed her band and headed up to the porch. "Looks like a nice place, but you might wanna move that tree."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," Richie laughed as he led her inside.

Reality adjusted her "Reality Bites, But Only If You Ask Nicely" T-shirt and brushed some leaves and twigs out of her hair. "Oh, and I need to borrow that box I gave you first chance you get," she said. "Tom doesn't exactly know I'm here and I don't want him to worry."

"Still getting a bug up his butt when you disappear, huh?" Richie asked.

"You know it," Reality answered. "It's a damn good thing I love him."

::Could you love him a little less?:: Truth asked. ::'Cause it's really hard to get any sleep with the amount of noise you two make.::

Reality groaned. "Richie, would you be interested in a slightly used sword?

Richie shook his head. "Not a chance in hell, Reality."

"Didn't think so," Reality sighed.

They reached the dining room. "Guys," Richie said. "I want you to meet a friend of mine."

Elaine glared at her. "This be'ah not beh anothah gahlfriend, Richay," she warned. "Jus' because Ah like Ari doesn' mean the nex' one lives."

Reality stopped cold. Okay, this is definitely not the greeting I was expecting, she thought. "Uh, 'scuse me. I have no idea what you meant by that, but would it help if I told you I already had a boyfriend?"

"Good. Make shoah it stays that way," Elaine said. "Ah don' wan' Aria haht."

"Look, lady, I don't even know who Aria is," Reality said. "And while Richie's cute and all, he's no Tom. So I'm content just having him as a bud."

"Uh huh." Elaine wasn't sure she bought it, but she decided to let it slide. The idea of anyone not wanting Richie was a hard one for her to grasp, but she was the first to admit she was just a bit prejudiced in that regard. "Ah yah hungray? Weh wah jus' si'in' down tah suppah. Le' meh get yah a plate. Ah like yah T-shaht," she added as she stood up.

"Thanks, it's one of my faves," Reality replied. "By the way, who in the name of the Great Bird of the Galaxy are you anyway?"

"Ah'm sahrah. Ah seem tah have fahgo'en mah mannahs tonight. Ah'm one of Richay's gahlfriends, Elaine. That's mah brothah Neeki ovah thah an' mah gran--, Natalay nex' tah him." The blonde disappeared into the kitchen.

Reality waved. "Nice to meet you all," she said. "I'm Reality Morgan. Richie and I are sort of extremely long distance pen pals." She went over to one of the chairs and plopped in it. "So, you wanna explain this 'one of Richie's girlfriends' line to me or do I have to start singing Barry Manilow's greatest hits? And you might want to toss in that little slip the Southern Belle over there made regarding Nat."

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be really annoying?" Richie sighed.

Reality nodded. "Just about everybody I've ever met," she answered, grinning. "Now spill it, Monkey Boy."

Richie just shot her a dirty look.

"The fahs' paht's easay enough." Elaine returned, carrying a plate of food and a wine bottle. She placed the plate in front of Reality and the bottle in front of Nick, then sat back down.

Nick recognized the contents of the bottle by the scent -- not his usual fare.

"No buts," Elaine told him. "If yah have half the headache Ah do, the gahbage yah usuallay drink isn' goin' tah beh enough."

She turned back to Reality. "Richay 'n' Ah have anothah gahlfriend, Aria. She's in New Yahk right now on a bus'ness trip. Monkay Boy?"

"Long story," Realty answered.

::Two girlfriends?:: Truth asked. ::Ryan, you dawg! I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Monkey Boy.::

Richie noticed both Nick and Elaine shaking their heads, as if to clear them. Uh oh....

Reality did her best to keep from rolling her eyes since the others didn't know about her sword yet. "Okay, that explains your comment about your neighbors wondering about you, Richie," she said. "Although, in San Francisco, I kind of think that kind of stuff makes you look normal. If you really wanna stand out, you need to add a boyfriend."

"No thanks," Richie replied. "Elaine and Aria wear me out enough as it is. Although I gotta tell ya, Adam's butt's been looking mighty nice lately." He feigned a flamingly gay attitude until Elaine kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"Jus' watch it, RuPaul," Elaine shot back, teasingly. "An' it's all yah own fault fah havin' the good taste tah fall fah the both of us." She rubbed the spot she had just kicked with a foot.

::Oh, gag me! They're worse than you and Tom,:: Truth moaned. ::Oh lord, I think I'm gonna be sick. Or at least I would be if I had a mouth. That's the one bad thing about not having a mouth. I can't puke.::

The two blonds looked up. There it was again, that weird echo-y buzz-like sound/feeling.

Reality grinned, completely ignoring her sword. "I'm startin' to like her," she laughed. "But what about this gran slip up?"

"Oh, um, well," Elaine stammered.

"It's simple, really," Richie answered. "Elaine is Natalie's great great grandmother."

Elaine kicked him again, a lot harder this time. "Richay!"

Richie merely grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed. "Trust me," he mouthed.

Reality's eyes widened in surprise. "She is?" she asked "Then lady, you better give me the number of your plastic surgeon because you are lookin' fine!"

"Well, Immortality will do that to you," Richie casually said.

"Oh? Oh! She's like you," Reality replied, catching on. "Well, shoot, why didn't you say that in the first place, ya weenie?"

"You didn't ask," Richie teased.

Reality stuck her tongue out at him. "Doofus."

"Ain' that the truth?" Elaine joined in on the fun. "Sometimes Ah don' know why Ah put up with him."

"Because you can't live without me, remember?" Richie answered.

"Don' beh sah shoah abou' that, Kaltock," she shot back. "Yah not the onlay one who appreciates how tight Adam's jeans ah, even if yah did get him fahst. But Ah suppose it's onlay faah tah wait until Aria gets back befoah runnin' off with him." Her foot climbed higher on Richie's leg.

Nick and Nat, by now well used to the bantering between Richie and Elaine, ignored them.

Truth was making gagging noises.

Elaine and Nick took a drink.

Richie noticed.

Elaine noticed Richie noticing. Okay, so Richie was involved in whatever was going on. Time for some answers.

"Sah, Realitay. Does yah sudden appeahrance have anythin' tah do with that freak stahm that's still ra'lin' abou' in mah skull?" she asked.

"Storm? What storm?" Reality asked, feigning innocence.

Elaine didn't buy it. Especially since she did innocence a hell of a lot better "Weh jus' had a freak thundahstahm, which almos' nevah happens in San Franciscah," she said. "An' now Ah have the wahst headache in the hist'ray of headaches because of the reallay obnoxious buzzin' noise that stahted righ' aftah the stahm ended an' stopped righ' befoah yah showed up. Now spill it."

"Oh that," Reality replied. "I didn't cause it, but I did sort of, um, kinda rode it in. Not that it was my fault, mind you. This puce tornado just sort of picked me up and dropped me in the tree in your front lawn. Then the tree dropped me on the lawn, but that's another story."

"Uh huh," Elaine said.

"Reality's not exactly from around here, 'Laine," Richie explained. "She's, um, she's from another dimension."

"Richay, hon, ah yah shoah yah wahn' the one who was dropped on his head?" Elaine asked.

"It's true," Reality backed Richie up. "Richie and I met when I was on a magikal scavenger hunt after Merlin the Immortal Magician kidnapped my boyfriend. I sort of materialized over Mac's bed."

Elaine, Nick and Nat all shared a glance. Then they cracked up laughing.

"I don't think they believe us, Reality," Richie noted.

Reality nodded in agreement. "Guess I'm gonna have to prove it," she said. She snapped her fingers, pointing with her index finger as she did.

There was a flash of purple light and a small purple yak with blue and green polka dots manifested in front of Elaine.

"What the hell?!" Elaine started.

"Hello," the yak said. "My name is Sophie. It's so very nice to meet you."

Nat stared at the yak. "How did you do that?"

"Simple, I'm a mage," Reality answered. "Adept, to be precise."

By this point, Sophie the yak had wandered her way over to Reality's plate and was sniffing it. "Oh, that smells delightful," she said. "May I?"

Reality shrugged. "Oh sure." She separated some vegetables and rice from the rest of the food and moved them towards the edge of the plate. "Here ya go, kid. Knock yourself out."

"Oh, thank you, Miss Reality," Sophie replied. "You are ever so kind." She stuck her snout into the food, munching away happily.

Nick shook his head. "I want to thank you, Elaine, for what has got to be the strangest night of my life," he said.

Elaine and Natalie both stared at him. This from the man who had been possessed by a demon shortly before running across the twin of his long-dead sister?

Truth snorted, unknowingly echoing the two women. ::Like you've got room to talk, Blondie.::

There was that sound again!

Reality rolled her eyes. "What is it with your friends, Richie?" she asked. "Immortals they believe in, but show them a mage and they freak out."

"It's not the magik," Elaine objected. "Now that Ah've seen it, Ah believe it. Although, Ah'd reallay like tah know how yah did it. Would yah mind if Ah took a blood sample la'ah? It'd beh intahrestin' tah find out whethah yah abilitays ah genetic oh cn beh taught."

::Oh no, not a scientist!:: Truth screamed. ::Anything but a scientist! I'd rather have to deal with a cannibalistic, cross-dressing Nazi, Eskimo televanglist than a scientist! Save me! Save me!::

"That's what's freakin' meh out," the blonde continued. "That noise."

::That babe can hear me?:: Truth asked.

"You mean that buzzing sort of thing I just heard?" Nick asked.

::Him, too?::

"Exactlay." Elaine pounced on the sound. If it just kept repeating, maybe should could figure out what it was.

"I don't hear anything," Nat offered, confused.

::Thank the Creator for that,:: Truth said. ::I thought I was losing it.::

"Intahres'in'. Sah of the three of us, Neeki 'n' Ah cn heah it an' yah can'." Elaine's face took on a look that Richie had long ago learned to beware of. Usually it meant a lot of questions, most of which went way over his head.

"Very interesting," Nat agreed, her face matching that of her grandmother's. "What about Richie and Reality?"

Elaine shook her head. "Can' trush eithah of them. Richay's been actin' strange evah since Realitay ahrived an' Ah don' know Realitay well enough tah judge hah. What weh reallay need is a --"

"Control subject," Nat finished for her.

"Exactlay," Elaine agreed.

"So who do we get?"

"Aria would beh pahfect, 'cep' she's not heah," Elaine decided. "Ah've done too good a job on Lou, sah he's out. An' mos' of the neighbahs ah afraid of meh fah some reason. What abou'...."

Reality nudged Nick. "Are those two always like that?"

"Worse," Nick smiled. "You should have seen them when they first discovered each other. They disappeared into a lab for a month and the only times I saw them were when they wanted blood samples for genetic comparisons."

::Oh phew, maybe I'm safe after all,:: Truth sighed, relieved. ::For once I'm glad I'm steel. I can't bleed! Happy dance, happy dance. Although any time the babe wants to bleed me, I'll see what I can do. Scientist or not, she is one hot mama. Woof!::

Richie had a hard time not laughing at that line. If they only knew.

"GOT IT!" Elaine exclaimed, her eyes focusing on Reality. She had been waiting for the sound again and this time she had figured out its source. "_Yah_ wheah the noise is comin' from," she accused the mage. "Sah what else have yah 'n' Richay been leavin' out?"

Reality shrugged. "I really don't know what you're talking about, Elaine," she answered. "I swear."

Richie sighed. It was either time to bail out now or face the consequences later. And since he didn't feel like trying to clean Reality off his wall.... "We're busted, Reality," he said. "I think we'd better tell her."

"Fine, but you're explaining it to her, butt munch," Reality replied, shooting him a dirty look. She reached into the pocket of her jacket and drew her sword.

Elaine wasn't sure which to be more freaked out by, the fact that this strange mortal woman had a sword in the first place, or the fact that she was pulling the full crosshilt and long blade out of the pocket of her denim jacket. Tahk abou' katana spaces. "Nice blade, may Ah?" Before the mage could reply, Elaine reached out and took the sword from her.

"DON'T!" Richie and Reality screamed in unison.

But it was too late. Elaine had already touched Truth's hilt.

::Hello, babe,:: Truth purred. ::Wanna check out the size of my blade?::

"Do yah think yah cn handle meh?" Elaine answered back without thinking. Then she realized who just spoke and almost dropped the weapon.

"Elaine, who are you talking to?" Nat asked.

"The sahd," Elaine answered. "It speaks."

"You must be joking," Nick echoed Nat.

"Truly, Nicholah. The both of us heard it," Fleur backed Elaine up.

"Try it fah yahself," Elaine added, handing Truth over hilt-first.

Nick took the sword, allowing Nat to also touch it.

::What a life! To be passed around like yesterday's fruitcake.::

Both Nick and Nat jumped.

"Ah take it y'all hahd him this time, too?" Elaine asked, her thoughts spinning.

"Right after we touched him." Nat followed Elaine's thinking. "So it has something to do with physical contact."

"Sah it seems. Ah gathah Richay 'n' Realitay have been heahrin' him the whole time. It cahtinlay would explain paht of Richay's behaviah tonight, which, by the way, Ah haven' fahgo'en abou' an' weh will beh discussin' la'ah," Elaine added half under her breath. Turning to Reality, she asked. "Sah, how does it wahk?"

"I'm not exactly sure," Reality admitted.

::So what else is new?:: Truth said. ::To put it into terms you mere humans will understand, touching my hilt allows me to attune my magik to your specific brain frequencies. Once I know them, I can transmit to you anytime I want. And vice versa. Just try not to do it when I'm watching Baywatch, 'kay?::

"He watches Baywatch now?" Richie asked.

Reality shrugged. "It's better than Barney."

"Sah, what kind of magik was involved in this an' can yah do it tah Richay's sahd?" Elaine asked, still in scientist mode.

"Not a chance in hell, 'Laine," Richie said. "I'd sooner walk stupidly into Mac's sword than put up with Triumph the Insult Sword over there."

::Oh yes, the Scottish Hairball,:: Truth commented. ::He's a great guy.... For me to poop on!::

Elaine smiled. Truth didn't know it, but he'd just scored brownie points with her.

Reality rolled her eyes. "I have got to stop letting him stay up to watch Conan O'Brien," she sighed. "As for the magik involved in Truth's creation, I wouldn't know. I had nothing to do with it, I'm just the lucky True Believer who's stuck with him this round."

Truth sent her a raspberry. ::I'll have you know that I was created by the same beings who created Excalibur!:: he said. ::As for doing it again, you'll have to ask them, dollface. But since I haven't exactly heard from them since the morons dropped my little ass of steel into our home dimension, that might be rather difficult to do. You think they would have left a forwarding address or something, but noooooooooooooooooo. They just stick me with a bunch of doofus mages so I start losing my mind and then take off for parts unknown.::

"Truth, you never had a mind to lose," Reality pointed out.

::Hello, Pot. This is Kettle calling,:: Truth replied sarcastically.

"So how could Nick and Elaine hear him when I couldn't?" Nat asked, handing the sword back to Reality.

"Ah'd like tah know that, too," Elaine said. "Truth, from what yah jus' described, it almos' sounds like yah have a fahm of telepathay."

::You might say that,:: Truth agreed.

"But we're not telepathic," Nick objected.

Elaine turned to Nat. "Gran'daugh'ah, would yah please smack mah brothah upside the head? Ah'd do it mahself, onlay mah ahms ah too shaht tah reach across the table."

Nat did so.

"Hey!"

"Nicholah, would yah please use the brain in yah head fah once?" Elaine continued. "We have tah have some telepathic abilitays, othahwise weh wouldn' beh able tah do half the thin's weh do."

"Like?" Nick asked.

"Fah one thin', theah's the pahren'-child bond," she answered. "Like the way he's able tah pick ah brains."

"I thought that was because of our --" Nick stopped, glancing at Reality.

"It is an' it isn'. It's strongah when yah recentlay ... shaahed with someone, but that's not all it is." Damn. This was getting awkward, trying to say things with Reality learning a few too many things about them. "Ah'm shoah this mus' beh bahrin' ev'ryone, sah why don' weh continue this la'ah, aftah ev'ryone else has gone tah bed," the blonde finished lamely.

Something about Nick and Elaine had been bothering Truth ever since they had touched him. ::Reality, do me a fave,:: he sent to her privately. ::Switch your mage sight up and check out brickhead and the babe and tell me what you see.::

::'Kay.:: Reality pumped her mage sight up again and jumped clean out of her chair. "Holy shit!"

"Reality, what's wrong?" Richie asked.

"OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod," Reality rambled. "Vampires, they look like vampires!"

Elaine and Nick exchanged wary glances.

"What are you talking about?" Nat asked, trying to smooth things over. "They don't look like vampires to me."

"Me, neither," Richie added. "I think you've been reading too much again, Reality."

"There is no such thing as too much reading and of course they don't look like vampires to you!" Reality snapped. "Looking at someone under mage sight reveals their true self, ya dipwad. You look like a friggin' lightning storm, I've got this weird purple aura thing goin', Nat looks pretty normal, but they look like vampires! Although Elaine has this other weird aura surrounding her like she's got somebody else hitching a ride in her body."

::And what a nice body it is,:: Truth added. ::Especially for a walking corpse.::

"Ah don' quite know how tah take that," Elaine said. "Weh'ah not reallay dead, yah know. Jus' mos'lay dead."

::When they're all dead all you can do is go through their pockets and look for loose change, right?:: Truth recognized the quote.

"Right," Elaine smiled.

::Take it as the compliment I meant it as, gorgeous,:: Truth said.

"WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?!" Reality screamed. "And will somebody tell me what in the nine levels is going on around here before I hurt somebody?"

"Well, Reality, ya see," Richie stammered. "It's like this, see, um, Elaine and Nick look like vampires 'cause, well, they are vampires."

Reality's face split into a huge grin. "Wicked cool!" she exclaimed. "We talkin' the whole Bram Stoker, crosses, garlic, coffins thing or is it closer to Anne Rice?"

"Don't you mean Emily Weiss?" Nat corrected.

"Who?" Reality asked.

Elaine growled.

"Somebody you really don't wanna know about," Richie covered. "Suffice it to say, Elaine's not exactly one of her biggest fans. And, except for the coffins and changing into animals thing, Bram Stoker's about the closest."

"Oh, this is so friggin' cool," Reality said. "I've never met a real live, so to speak, vampire before. I don't think we have them in my dimension."

::I've never met one,:: Truth admitted.

"Reality, if you're so impressed, why'd you freak out?" Richie asked.

"What'd you expect me to do, sit here calmly like having dinner with two vampires and an Immortal is common place for me?" Reality replied. "Of course I'm gonna freak out at first, doofus. If you had told me in the first place that they were vampires, we wouldn't have had to go through this melodrama now, would we? But noooooooooooooooooo. You didn't see fit to tell me that you were dating a vampire, did you? Candyass."

Richie rolled his eyes. "Are you finished?"

"Pretty much, yeah," Reality answered as she sat back down. "And guys, do me a favor and please try to remember that I am not here for your snacking pleasure. Not only am I a little on the anemic side, but Tom would be pissed if I don't come home in one piece. Just because I'm enamored of vampires doesn't mean I wanna become dinner."

"Don' worrah abou' it," Elaine assured her. "Ah prefah Immahtals an' Neeki's a vegetahrian."

Reality had to ask. "A vegetarian vampire?"

"Cow," Elaine explained with a shudder. "Neeki drinks cow blood, even though it's not good fah him."

::Cow blood?:: Truth asked. ::So what happens when a vampire drinks cow blood all the time? Does he start mooing in his sleep or something:: The sword 'brightened'. ::Does this mean we can go Nick tipping later?::

Reality snapped her fingers and started banging her head against the purple forcefield that appeared before her.

"If yah wan' tah go Neeki tippin', all yah have tah do is induce a flashback," Elaine smirked. "Watch this. Sah, Neeki, tell meh again how yah an' Nat met."

Nick's eyes automatically glazed over as he thought back to the night he woke up on Nat's exam table.

Reality stopped her self abuse. "Does that always happen?"

"Usuallay," Elaine admitted. "It's one of the hazahds as weh age. Yah know, yah still haven' explained how yah do that." She reached out and touched the forcefield. It tingled, but didn't hurt.

"Forget the magik," Richie interrupted. "I want to hear about that aura around 'Laine."

"Yah can' guess?" she asked, looking at him. "Ah'd have thought the ansah tah that was obvious. Nice tah know she's real an' not somethin' Ah made up."

::She? There's another babe around here?:: Truth asked. ::Does she look anything like you Gorgeous? I hope, I hope, I hope.::

Fleur laughed, taking over. "Sir Sword, I dare say I look exactly like Elaine. Mayhaps I should introduce myself." She extended a hand, as if expecting Reality to kiss it. "I'm Fleur, Nicholah's mortal sister."

Sophie trotted over to her. "Greeting, Noble Fleur. Thank you for dinner."

"Solicitations, Honorable Sophie," Fleur returned the greeting. "You're very welcome. I'm glad you like it. Although, to be honest, it was Elaine who did the cooking, not I. What happened to the pink? Get tired of it?"

"You know how it is," the yak answered. "One gets bored of being the same color after a century. Nice body."

"Thank you. Elaine makes a nice host."

"Excuse me," Nick interrupted. "Fleur, you know Sophie?"

"Of course," his sister laughed. "I had a long wait before Elaine was born, so every so often, I traveled. It had always been a dream of mine when I was alive and now I have more universes than you could possibly imagine to visit." Her eyes gleamed with an Elaine-like twinkle. "One time, I even came across a group of mages with a head for the grape and a talent for making intelligent swords."

"Woah, back the gravy train up here a second, sister," Reality said. "You mean that the beings who created Truth were completely drunk at the time?"

::I am not hearing this,:: Truth grumbled.

Fleur nodded. "They also claimed not to remember which dimension they had dropped some of their creations into," she added.

::Oh, I am so not hearing this,:: Truth snapped.

"I wouldn't give their words much thought, Sir Sword," Fleur assured him. "After all, they were quite soused them I met them."

Reality shook with the effort to control herself. "Oh God, oh God, oh God." She finally gave up and laughter burst out in a downpour. "I can't believe it! They made him when they were drunk! They made him when they were drunk! I love it. It explains everything."

::Somebody pick me up so I can kill her,:: Truth seethed.

"But if yah do that, yah'll miss dessaht," Elaine said, taking control again. "An' Ah had a special treat fah tonight. Choc'lat bubble gum sahprise ice cream."

The vampire sat on the ledge, absorbing what she had learned.

Interesting. There was a race of people who went around cutting each other's heads off with swords. The winner of these fights got the loser's power. This power was transferred in a lightening storm called the Quickening. And the older the Immortal, the stronger the Quickening.

She liked the Quickening. A few more and she would have enough strength to enact her revenge.

And this time, nothing would stop her. Not even Nicholas.

A few days later, the phone rang. Elaine picked it up, spoke into it for a few minutes, then took it into another room. She returned with a very worried look on her face.

"That was Joe," she explained. "It appeahs theah's a head hun'ah in the areah. Ah said appeahs because none of the Watchahs have been able tah catch this pahson in the act. They've jus' found the headless bodays aftahwahds. They do know one thin', though. Whoevah's doin' this isn' bothahrin' with a sahd. The heads ah bein' ripped from the bodays."

Richie gave a low whistle.

"That bad?" Reality asked.

Reality had been unable to return home. The storm that had brought her there in the first place was reeking havoc with the realm between dimensions. It had taken her ten tries to get a message home to her boyfriend in one piece and she didn't like the odds of her getting herself there in one piece either. She still figured the only reason she'd landed in Richie's front yard was because of the magikal connection between the two of them. However, she also figured that it was her magik's fault that she got picked up by that puce tornado in the first place.

Elaine and Nat were trying to help, but so far none of the three had been able to come up with anything.

"It's very bad," Nat told her. "Most humans don't have the strength to tear through human flesh. Which means it almost has to be --"

"Anothah vampiah," Elaine nodded. "Onlay Ah know mos' of the vampiahs cahrentlay livin' heah an' none of them would do somethin' this obvious. Weh'ah usuallay be'ah at cleanin' up aftah ahselves."

"A renegade," Nick realized.

"Exactlay," the blonde agreed. "An' weh need tah take caah of him quick befoah they get called in. Joe's sendin' meh ev'rythin' they have on the ma'ah, but it's goin' tah take a few days tah get heah."

"Um, I might be able to help," Reality offered.

"Yah can?" Elaine asked, intrigued.

Reality nodded. "I can cast a divination spell," she answered. "Assuming I get the spell right, I'll be able to 'see' the person and make a sketch of them."

"It's worth a shot," Nat said.

"Richie, get me my backpack, will yah?" Reality asked.

Richie grabbed the large purple bag from behind his chair and handed it to her.

The mage opened it up and pulled out her sketch book, some pencils and a small box. She opened the sketch book and put it flat on the coffee table in front of her. Then she opened the box and took out a crystal ball and stand for it.

"Is all that reallay necessahrah?" Elaine asked.

"Yes and no," Reality answered as she placed the ball on the stand. "I need a focus for the divination spell to work, but the requirement is that it has to be something clear and reflective. So it could be a mirror or a bowl of water, but I'm a sucker for tradition. Besides, the ball's easier to carry in my bag." She moved to the floor and started to chant over the ball.

As the ball glowed, Reality picked up a pencil and sketched what she saw.

Curious, Elaine watched over Reality's shoulder. As the drawing took shape, she beckoned to her brother.

"Nicholah, please tell meh that isn' who Ah think it is," she asked frightened. "She's dead, ain't she? Staked through the haht, boday bahned an' ashes sca'ahed?"

Nick stared that he picture in disbelief. "It's.... It's...." He stopped, thinking that maybe if he didn't say it, it wouldn't be true.

Unfortunately, the more the drawing progressed, the harder it was to deny.

Finally, it was finished.

"That is hah, isn' it?" Elaine asked. When Nick didn't answer, essentially confirming it, she went over to Richie and buried her head in his shoulder.

"So who is it?" Nat asked, growing impatient. Neither Nick nor Elaine were acting at all the way she was used to.

Nick picked up the pad and showed it to her.

"Divia," he said in a hushed whisper. "It's Divia."

"I take it that's bad?" Reality asked.

"You don't know the half of it," Nick answered. "Divia is --"

"Divia is a sick li'le gahl," Elaine interrupted forcibly. "She needs put down."

That got Richie's attention. This from Elaine? Who'd been known to give the clothes off his back if a child needed it? "Elaine...."

"Yah don' know Divia," she answered. "The bitch is Evil. If theah was any way Ah could un-relate mahself tah hah, Ah would."

Nick answered one of the unasked questions. "Divia's the one who brought LaCroix across. Our Master," he explained to Reality. "She's also his natural daughter."

"Gross," Richie agreed. "So where does the Evil bit come in?"

Both Nick and Elaine shifted.

"Le's jus' say she managed tah sugges' somethin' that shocked hah Roman Gen'ral fathah intah decapitatin' hah," the blonde finally said.

::What'd she do?:: Truth asked. ::Eat her peas with a knife? Pick her nose in public? What? What?::

Elaine didn't know what to say. This was one of those dirty family secrets one did not talk about when she was growing up.

Nick wasn't doing much better. As a cop, he was more familiar with the issue than Elaine, but it was different this time because it was his family. "Divia wanted ... a more intimate relationship with LaCroix than father and daughter," he explained carefully.

::The kid tried to bop her own daddy?:: Truth translated. ::Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!::

"Tah put it crudelay," Elaine nodded.

"Yep, that's bad," Reality agreed.

"Yah haven' hahd the wahs' of it," the blonde continued. "Like Ah said, Lucien chopped hah head off an' stuck hah in an Egyptian crypt. This was right abou' the tahn of the fahs' centuahray AD. Somehow, she managed tah stick it back on, onlay she was stuck theah until a couple of tomb robbahs released hah a few yeahs ago. When they did, the li'le bitch tried tah get even with Lucien by knockin' off whoevah was close tah him. Vachon an' Ahsulah died because of hah. Neeki almos' died, too. Fahtunately fah meh," she grabbed Richie's hand, "Ah was trav'lin' with Richay at the time oh else Ah'd've been toast. But they fin'lay managed tah stake hah an' bahn hah boday an' that was supposed tah be the end of it. Franklay, Ah don' know what weh'ah gon' tah do this time."

"Well, you guys never had me before," Reality said smugly.

"You really are nuts, aren't you," Nick asked.

Reality gave him a dirty look. "C'mon, Adam said I have the makings of a great hero," she replied. "I'm smart, I'm courageous, I'm slightly insane, and I don't have my head up my ass."

"I thought having your head up your ass was a prerequisite for being a hero," Richie said.

"Is fah Duncan," Elaine snorted.

"Well, Adam did say that was the one thing that could get me tossed out of the heroes' guild," Reality replied. "That and I don't have a sidekick."

"What about Tom?" Richie asked.

Reality shook her head. "Won't work, he's my love interest," she answered. "See, the heroes' handbook is very specific on this. A person can be your sidekick or they can be your love interest, but they can't be both. Once you start screwing your sidekick, they automatically become your love interest. So I've got a mentor, a love interest, and a trusty companion-slash-sword, but no sidekick."

::Damn right, I'm not your sidekick,:: Truth added.

"I said you weren't, wise ass," Reality replied.

Richie snorted. "I don't believe it," he sighed.

"Here, look it up yourself, Monkey Boy," Reality said. She dug into her backpack and pulled out a rather large, thick book.

Richie took it from her and read the title out loud. "The Hero's Handbook -- A Hero's Guide to Jumping Head First into Situations Anyone in their Right Minds would be Running Away From. Oh for Pete's sake. And how come I've never seen this before?"

"Because, smart guy, you're a sidekick," Reality explained. "Sometimes you may get to be the hero in fictions, but legally, you're still the sidekick. Now, if they had just done the smart thing and given you the spin-off, you would have gotten a copy of that with your first script. But they didn't, so...."

"Do you mind?!" Nick snapped.

"Sorry," Richie and Reality replied in unison.

"We have a tendency to digress," Reality explained sheepishly.

"Ignore him," Fleur told them. "He's just jealous because he lost his copy somewhere in the thirteenth century."

::Further proof of the head up your ass school of heroism,:: Truth noted.

"Did you have to tell them that?" Nick sighed.

"Why not?" his sister teased. "It's true, isn't it?"

"Of course she did," Reality came to her defense. "Giving away your siblings dirty little secrets is rule number one in the little sister's handbook."

"And you know this because?" Richie asked.

"Old friend of mine told me," Reality answered. "Anyway, let's get back to the topic at hand, shall we?"

::Reality actually trying to get things back on topic?:: Truth asked, stunned. ::Did somebody just drop me on my head?::

"Not yet, but I will in a second if you don't shut up soon," Reality answered.

Truth sent her a raspberry.

"Sometimes, I'm really glad he doesn't have a tongue," Reality said.

Elaine's eyes gleamed. "A sahd with a tongue?"

Richie shuddered. "Not gonna go there," he said. "Uh uh, no way. Don't wanna, can't make me!"

"Can we please stick to the topic on hand?!" Nick snapped.

"Right," Elaine agreed. "Dealin' with the bitch who won' stay dead. Ah still have no ideah what weh'ah goin' tah do."

Nat had an idea. "What about using the AI--"

"NO! Out of the question!" Nick cut her off.

"Absolutelay not!" Elaine said at the same time. "It's too dangahrous."

"What?" Richie and Reality asked.

The two vampires and one mortal exchanged looks.

"Several years ago," Nat began, "one of my friends accidentally let loose a rat believed to be inoculated with a cure for the AIDS virus. The cure turned out to be worthless outside of the test tube, except for one thing -- any vampire that came in contact with it became fatally ill."

"Screed was the fahst of us tah die, but he shoah as hell wasn' the las'," Elaine took over. "Hundreds of us died in less then a week. An don' know how Neeki got infected, an' Ah don' caah, but he passed it on tah Lucien, an' that's how Ah got it.

"Ah remembah lyin' on the floah of mah lab, altahna'in' between fevah an' chills, Hungrayah then Ah'd evah bin since Ah was fahs' brough' across," she continued, reliving the memories. "Now, Ah know that doesn' mean much tah mahtals, yah live with the possibilitay ev'ry day, but it's diff'ren' fah us. Weh passed through the Black Death an' all it lef' was a bad taste in the mouth. AIDS? It's jus' anothah flavahrin', like coffay oh ice cream. Weh don' get sick. An' Ah shoah as hell ain' gonnah let it happen again if Ah cn help it."

"What if we tried it in a concentrated, contained form?" Reality asked. "Like a variation on a tranquilizer dart?"

Nick shook his head. "It's still too dangerous. All I did was pick up the infected rat and I caught the virus."

"'Sides," Elaine added. "Theah's onlay two people who cahren'lay know how tah make it. Ah won' le' anyone use it an' Ah won' le' Simon eithah."

"Well, what else are you guys vulnerable to?" Reality asked.

The two vampires looked at each other. Even with Divia on the loose, it went against everything they knew to reveal that much about themselves.

Fleur took the matter out of their hands. "Since they won't answer, I will," she said. "Mostly, we're vulnerable to burning. Sunlight, fire, that kind of thing. Crosses and other light symbols make us uncomfortable, but any vampire worth her salt can get past them. Garlic makes us sick, it's the anti-viral properties in it that we can't tolerate. Wood also wounds us and can kill us if it hits the right spot and isn't removed. Removal of the head is supposed to work, but apparently the head can reattach itself if it's left next to the neck."

"Ooh, twisted idea comin' through!" Reality giggled.

::When are they ever not?:: Truth shot back.

"Truth, shut up," Richie grumbled. "What's your idea, Reality?"

"You said removal of the head will work unless the head is left next to the neck, right?" Reality asked. "Well, what if we made sure her head was away from her neck. Like a few thousand dimensions away."

Nick, Nat and Elaine looked at each other.

"That might work," Nat said.

"Ah think that'll wahk verrah well," Elaine smiled wickedly.

"Yeah, we just pop her head off, toss it through a dimensional portal, and viola, no more bitch-vamp problem," Reality said.

"Sounds great," Nick agreed. "Now how do we find her?"

"Simple," Elaine answered. "Weh use bait."

"Why do I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm not gonna like this part?" Richie asked.

"Because there are only two of us who qualify as bait and I don't think Elaine was referring to me," Nick answered.

"I was right, I really don't like this part," Richie sighed.

"Got a be'ah ideah?" Elaine challenged.

"Yeah, I lock you in the bedroom until you totally forget this crazy idea," Richie countered.

"Ah see, sah Ah'm suppose tah wait patien'lay, si'in' on mah ass until she finds meh 'n' kills meh," the blonde shot back. "At leas' this way gives meh a figh'in' chance."

"A fighting chance to get yourself killed, you mean," Nick said. "Richie's right, I'm not letting you do this either. I've faced Divia before and I can beat her, I should be the bait."

"An' if anythin' happens tah yah, what do yah think Lucien is goin' tah do tah meh?" Elaine countered. "Yah the one he caahs abou', remembah?"

"I think you're both nuts," Nat replied.

"Like Ah said, got a be'ah ideah?" Elaine repeated, glaring at her. "Ah'll beh pahfec'lay fine. Aftah all, Ah have the wahld's two bes' protectahs a gahl evah had keepin' watch tah make shoah nothin' happens, right?"

::She's good,:: Truth replied.

"Yah should see meh in bed sometime," Elaine told him. "Yah'll melt."

::Promises, promises,:: Truth teased.

"Have Realitay stick yah on the wall in the bedroom sometime," the blonde dared. "Wouldn' beh the fahst time Ah've been watched."

"Maybe, but I don't want him in there," Richie said.

"Me either," Reality agreed. "It's bad enough when I pick up flashes of Baywatch from him at work. I mean, at least he could send me flashes of the guys, but nooooooooooo, it's always gotta be one of those fake boobed bimbos."

"Yah loss," Elaine shrugged.

Reality just rolled her eyes. "So how do we go about luring this psycho hose beast out of hiding anyway?"

"Last time, she just followed any vampire she saw near her father," Nick offered. "Since he isn't here, the only thing I can think of is going out and seeing if we attract her attention."

"And we would go about that how exactly?" Richie asked, still not very happy about the whole situation.

"Club hopping?" Nat suggested.

"Now there's a scary thought," Richie replied.

"If it's any help, think of the fun weh'll have once weh get home aftahwahds." Elaine kissed Richie, running her hands down his back.

Releasing him, she turned to Reality. "Ah think yah abou' Aria's size. Why don' weh go upstaahs an' see if weh can' fin' yah somethin' tah weah?"

Reality shrugged. "Whatever," she answered. "I can always magik something up if we get really desperate."

"What, an' take all the fun out of it?" Elaine teased as they headed up stairs. "Yah comin', Nat?"

"Wouldn't miss this for the world," Nat said, following.

Five hours later, Nick and Richie were bored. They'd been to ten nightclubs so far, and not a sign of Divia. Elaine, Nat and Reality were enjoying themselves, though.

"God I love those Goth clubs," Reality said as they left one place. "I actually look normal in one of those joints, it's a scream."

"Amazin' how a place can feel like home, isn' it?" Elaine agreed. "Too bad Jenette wasn' theah, but Ah gathah she knew Neeki's in town an' skedaddled out of heah. Nice seein' Miklos again."

"I still get the creeps going in there though," Nat said. "It's the same thing with the Raven, I walk in and I feel like the walking lunch buffet."

"With Elaine and me by your side?" Nick teased, rubbing the back of her head. "They wouldn't dare."

A few blocks later, first Nick, then Elaine froze.

"Neeki?" Elaine asked.

"It's her," Nick confirmed.

Richie and Reality both immediately went for the respective swords.

::It's about damn time,:: Truth replied after Reality had removed him from her purse. ::A sword could get claustrophobic in there, man.::

"Truth, hush," Elaine told him. "Neeki an' Ah ah tryin' tah lis'en."

"How close is she?" Richie asked.

"Can't tell," Nick answered. "Why don't we spread out and see if we can triangulate. Richie, you go with Elaine and Reality, and Nat can come with me."

"Sounds like a plan," Richie agreed.

The two groups split up, each going in a different direction.

"Well, Nick?" Nat asked a short time later.

"Nothing," he answered. "It's like she just vanished."

A thought suddenly occurred to Nat. "Oh God, Nick, you don't think...?"

A loud scream confirmed her suspicions.

"ELAINE!" Nick realized. He took to the air, scooping up Nat along the way.

They landed to find the Immortal and mage each slumped against separate walls.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"Where's Elaine?" Nick said at the same time.

Reality let out a deep moan as she started to come to. "Oh Lord," she groaned. "Anybody get the license plate of the brick wall that ran me over?"

Nat went over to her, helping the mage to her feet and checking her over. "What happened?" she repeated.

"Something jumped Richie," Reality answered. "It just ... just flew at him out of nowhere and attacked him. Elaine tried to help but that ... thing threw her off like a ragdoll. It drained him and started to twist his head off, so I threw a couple of fire balls at it and it turned on me. Only it just threw me into the wall and I hit my head. It started to come after me, only Elaine yelled 'Divia!' at the top of her lungs and distracted it. Last thing I saw, it turned on Elaine, hissed out 'You!' and then I blacked out."

Richie announced his awakening with a loud moan. "Elaine?"

"I'm sorry, Richie, I tried, I really did," Reality said. "But I can't do magik if I can't concentrate and I can't concentrate if I'm unconscious."

"Sorry's not good enough," Richie snapped. "We'll go back to the house where you can concentrate. Then you'll work one of your spells and we're going to find her and rescue her. And then I'm going to rip Divia's head off myself."

Reality sighed as she tried for the fifth time to figure out Elaine's whereabouts. "Sorry, Richie, but I still keep coming up with nothing but black."

"Then you're not trying hard enough!" Richie snapped. "Do it again!"

Picking up her crystal ball, Reality threw it at his head. "Listen, jack-ass, I'm doing the best I can!" she snapped. "You try casting a divining spell with a goddamn concussion and we'll see how well you do. In case you've forgotten, she threw me into a brick wall. And you're the Immortal, I'm the mage. Which means when I get hurt I stay hurt! I didn't asked to get pulled into this, dumbass, but I am trying my best to help you out. And I know you're worried about Elaine, which is the only reason I haven't turned you into roadkill by the way, but if you don't stop yelling at me you can find her your own damn self, got it?"

"Whoa, calm down," Nick interrupted. "Arguing about it's not going to get my sister back. Reality, why don't you have Truth look for her?"

"It's worth a shot," Reality sighed, flashing Richie one last dirty look. "She doesn't have any magik, so we can't locate her that way, but seeing as how he can talk to her we might be able to contact her and maybe she can tell us."

::I just need a little boost,:: Truth said. ::Lend me some energy?::

"All right, hang on," Reality answered. She picked the sword up and held it in front of her, the flat of the blade resting on her open palms. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated, 'reaching' out with her mind to the nearest node. She plugged in and started pulling magikal energy out and pumping it into Truth. Soon her hands glowed purple and energy danced across the blade of the sword.

::Yoo-hoo, Cupcake,:: Truth sent, ::you out there?::

::Truth?:: a faint voice came to him a few minutes later.

::Score!:: Truth replied happily. ::Right on, Dollface. It's me all right, the one and only. Reality's having trouble finding you the old fashioned way, so I decided to reach out and touch someone. Any ideas on where you're at?::

::Not a clue,:: Elaine answered. ::Can' beh shoah abou' it, but Ah think Ah blacked out aftah she grabbed meh. How's ev'ryone holdin' up?::

::Reality's got a slight concussion and your boy toy is being a total prick, but other than that we're cool,:: Truth answered. ::How's things on your end?::

::Bitch hasn' touched meh,:: she replied. ::Somehow, Ah don' think it's mah death she wan's this time.::

::Okay, now there's an image I could have lived without,:: Truth sighed, picking up a few stray thoughts from the blonde. ::Well, okay, the image of you naked is kinda fun. But not with the psycho hose beast in there too.::

::Truth, if Ah get out of heah, Ah'll let yah see meh naked all yah wan',:: Elaine promised. ::Since yah found meh this way, theah any way yah cn track meh down?::

::Don't know,:: Truth answered. ::My telelocation abilities are limited to magik. Describe your exact location now and maybe that'll help point me in the right direction.::

::It's abou' six feet wide by nine feet long an' Ah cn smell salt wa'ah. Can' tell yah anythin' beyond that. Sahrah,:: Elaine apologized.

::I guess it's better than nothing,:: Truth sighed. ::Are you sure you don't remember anything?::

::If Ah did, don' yah think Ah'd tell yah?:: Elaine shot back, a faint wave of fear accompanying her words. There was a pause, then, ::Truth, Ah think she's comin'.::

::I'm just tryin' to help jog your memory, Cupcake,:: Truth replied, hurt. ::But I gotcha. I'll try again later, I promise. Anything you want me to pass on to Monkey Boy?::

::Yeah, tell him Ah love him, but if he doesn' get meh out of heah soon, Ah'm goin' tah be verrah unhappay with him,:: she tried to joke. ::An' ... an' tell him wheahevah Ah am, it's dahk in heah. He'll undahstand.::

::You got it,:: Truth replied. ::Hang in there, Cupcake, we'll come get ya. And I'm Truth, so I can't lie:: He sent her an image of a smiley face before breaking the connection.

"Well?" Richie asked as soon as Truth stopped glowing and Reality had opened her eyes.

::Well, for starters, butt-munch, you owe my girl an apology,:: Truth answered.

"What are you talking about?" Richie shot back.

::Reality found your little girlfriend all five times, ass wipe,:: Truth answered. ::But Reality was seeing through Elaine's eyes instead of seeing her position. And since all Elaine is seeing is a dark room, a black room, that's what Reality saw. So if you don't apologize to her right now, I'm not gonna help you anymore.::

"What do you mean you're not gonna help her?" Richie snapped, more worried about hearing Elaine was in a dark room than anything else. "We can't let Divia hurt her!"

::I didn't say I wouldn't help Elaine, I said I wouldn't help you, Monkey Boy,:: Truth shot back. ::I happen to like Elaine, she's my kinda bi-ped, and I don't want to see her get hurt either. And I promised her I'd contact her again and I always keep my promises. But if you don't apologize, I'm not gonna tell you anything. I'll pass the information on to Cutie-pie over there and I might even tell Brickhead a thing or two, but under the strict stipulation that they don't tell you anything either. And you can just sit there and keep your stupid little head up your non-existent little ass and whine and cry about how you couldn't be the hero and it's all your fault 'cause you didn't protect her! Which, by the way, is total bullshit 'cause there's no way in hell you could have stopped that thing 'cause, Immortal or not, you're only human, dickweed.::

"Whoa, slow down," Richie said, holding his hands up as a peace offering. "I never said I wouldn't apologize. Reality, I'm sorry," he added, turning to the mage. "I guess I never thought Divia would learn Elaine's afraid of the dark so soon."

"Apology accepted," Reality replied. "Lucky for you I like Elaine, too. Plus my superhero complex tends to override my personal feelings in situations like this."

"Superhero complex?" Nat asked.

"Yeah, you know, 'with great power comes great responsibility'," Reality explained.

She was greeted by blank stares from the vampire and the mortal.

"You know, Spider-Man's credo," Reality said. "Not that I actually like the webbed weirdo, mind you, especially after that whole clone fiasco a few years ago. It's just that it pretty much sums up how I feel about my magik and Stan Lee says it a lot better than I could."

She put Truth down on the coffee table and moved up from the floor to the couch. "Anyway, Richie, I forgive you 'cause God knows I was total pain when we first met 'cause I was so worried about Tom. However, pull that kind of shit on me again and I won't argue the next time Truth asks me to pick him up so he can kill you."

"Understood," Richie replied. He finally sank down on the couch next to her, half relived that at least now he knew Elaine was still alive and half worried sick because he knew how bad her fear of the dark was. "So what else did you learn, Truth?"

::Not much,:: the sword admitted dejectedly. ::Aside from her being in the dark, I'm supposed to tell you she loves you and she'll kick your ass if you don't come rescue her soon. Otherwise, all she knows is that she's in a six by nine foot room, she smells salt water, and that while Divia doesn't want her dead, what she does want is too disgusting for words.::

"But at least she's alive and unharmed," Richie said. "Reality, since you did find her before, can you figure out where she is?"

"I can try," Reality answered. "Maybe if we try backtracking Truth's connection with her and using what I found earlier and adding in the salt water idea, I can triangulate her location and.... Somebody get me a pencil and some paper so I can start working this out?"

Nick grabbed a pad and pencil off one of the end tables and handed it to her, letting the mage get down to work.

The door opened, bringing with it much welcomed light. What came with the light, however, was not quite so wanted.

"Ge'in' killed seems tah suit yah," Elaine said, with much more bravado than she felt. "Maybeh yah should do it again. Yah might actuallay grow up this time."

It was true. Apparently, LaCroix' comment on Divia growing last time had not been flippant. His daughter was a child no longer.

"Hello Elaine," Divia greeted her, leaning casually against the door frame. "Or should I say Fleur?"

"Ah'm sahrah, Fleur doesn' wan' tah speak tah yah," Elaine answered. "Although weh all have ah secrets. Ah heah yahs is that yah fathah was sah sickened by the sight of yah, he cut yah head off."

Divia flew across the room and backhanded Elaine.

Elaine crashed to the floor, glaring up at her opponent and daring her to do it again.

Claws out, the ancient vampire raised her hand to strike again, then changed her mind.

"Are you Hungry?" she asked instead "I have something if you are."

Unsure of whether or not to trust her, Elaine looked up at her. But she still held out her hand and let Divia help her to her feet.

She'd been right about Divia again. The two stood almost eye to eye. If anything, Divia was taller than she was.

"An' heah Ah thought fah once, Ah'd beh able tah look down on someone fah a change," she said.

"Sorry to disappoint," Divia replied.

The two left the room, entering the main part of the house.

"Nice," Elaine admitted. "Belon' tah one of the Immahtals yah killed?"

"Uh huh," Divia answered. "The first one. Quickenings are ... interesting experiences, aren't they?"

"Verrah," Elaine agreed. "Although Ah prefah them secon' hand. Heigh'ens the libido, yah know. Oh not, as the case may beh."

Score one for Elaine. Divia hissed and her eyes briefly turned red.

"And you would know about the libido, wouldn't you?" the elder vampire said.

"Sah should yah, growin' up in a whoahhouse," Elaine shot back.

"At least I only grew up in one instead of creating one," Divia replied dryly.

"Jus' bein' a dutiful li'le wife," Elaine shrugged. "Yah know what yah problem is. Aside from the fac' that someone should have strangled yah at bahth, that is?"

"I'm sure you're about to tell me," Divia said.

"Yah should nevah have tol' Lucien yah wan'ed tah screw. Yah would've been be'ah off wai'in' till he was half asleep an' seducin' him," Elaine answered. "Men like him don' like bein' tol' when tah have sex. Especiallay by an immatuah brat of a daugh'ah!"

Divia didn't answer. Instead, she went over to the kitchen, picked up a glass of blood waiting on the counter and gave it to Elaine.

"Drink," she ordered.

Sensing it would not be a good idea to disobey, Elaine took the glass. One sip and she spat out the contents.

"Ah will not drink the blood of a chil'!" she stated.

She raised the glass, intending to dash it against the wall.

Divia snatched it out of her hand before she could throw it. The elder vampire then grabbed Elaine by the hair and pulled, forcing Elaine's head back.

"I said, DRINK IT!" Divia repeated, pouring the liquid into Elaine's open mouth.

Struggle as she might, Elaine had no choice but to swallow, reliving the rape and torturous murder of a ten year old girl.

When the glass was empty, Divia released her. Elaine sank to the floor, trying to digest the obscene images in her head.

"Why don' yah jus' kill meh an' get it ovah with?" Elaine dared Divia when she could speak again.

"I'm not going to kill you." Divia walked around so she could look at Elaine's face, then squatted and yanked Elaine's head up so they could look each other in the eyes. "Oh, I was going to, but I came up with a better idea. First, I'm going to break you. And then when you're all mine, you're going to give Lucius a present. Nicholas' head."

"No!" Elaine moaned. That would destroy Lucien.

"Exactly," Divia agreed, reading Elaine's mind.

Reality sat on the family room floor, her eyes closed and her body in the classic lotus position. The others had left her alone so she could prepare, but Richie just couldn't stay put. He ended up pacing around the house before finding himself back in the family room.

He stood in the doorway for about a minute until Reality smiled. "It's okay, Richie," she said, "you're not bothering me."

"How'd you know it was me?" Richie asked as he came in and sat down on the couch.

Reality raised her shoulders in a shrug. "Process of elimination," she answered. "Nick just 'feels' funny, Nat smells like a mixture of Provocateur and formaldehyde, and you're the only other one in the house."

"I didn't want to bother your mediations, but I was just feeling antsy," Richie said.

"I'm not really meditating," Reality replied. "I'm just kind of letting the energy course through my body so I can get a feel for the ley lines around here. I just do it in this position 'cause I need to sit still and this kind of helps. And I close my eyes 'cause it looks funny."

"Really?" Richie asked.

Reality opened her eyes to reveal they were now glowing bright purple. "Really," she answered. "Not to mention the weird double vision/ghost images the magik makes me see give me a monster headache." She closed her eyes again. "So what's up?"

"I'm just nervous, I guess," Richie replied. "I'm feeling a little in over my head here, ya know? I just ... I just wish Aria was here but I'm too scared to call her."

"Why?" Reality asked.

Richie shrugged. "I don't know," he answered. "Well, I know part of it is that she'd be ticked that I didn't call her when we first learned about Divia. And I know the first thing she'd do is hop on the first plane out here to come help and I just don't want to put her in danger, too." He ran a hand through his hair. "I still wish she was there, though. You'd really like her, Reality. She's warm and funny and loving and strong and just this total warrior woman."

"Sounds like your sidekick status is at war with your inner hero," Reality replied.

"My what?" Richie asked, confused.

"Remember how I told you that you're still considered a sidekick?" Reality replied. "Well, because of that you tend to react to situations like this by running to the nearest hero. In this case, that hero would be Aria, even if you're really her love interest and not her sidekick. But, you've spent enough time playing hero in these little adventures that you've developed a nice set of hero instincts. And those instincts are screaming at you to rescue Elaine and protect the other woman you love by keeping her away from this situation all together. Sounds pretty normal if you ask me."

"Coming from you, I'm not sure how to take that," Richie replied. But he was smiling when he said it.

"Take it the however you want," Reality said. Suddenly a bright purple aura burst to life around her and she opened her eyes. "However, you might want to go tell Nick and Nat I'm ready."

It turned out Richie didn't need to find them. The two Canadians entered the room a few seconds later, with Nick in the lead and Nat close behind him.

"Something happened," Nick said. "What is it?"

Reality raised her hand and waved. "That would be me," she answered. "I had to pull in a lot of energy for this to work, so it's kind of turning me into a walking lamp."

::No kidding,:: Truth replied sarcastically. ::Who needs a nightlight when we've got WonderButt over here::

"So what happens now?" Nat asked. Prompted by Truth's words, she snuck a peak at Nick's rear. Not bad, especially in those jeans.

"Well, assuming I figured this out right, I'm gonna use the information Truth gathered and Nick's bloodline connection to Elaine to kind of 'search' for her," Reality answered. "Of course, I'd be a little more confident in this if we had this LaCroix character since he's got a direct line to both women, but I gotta take what I can get, ya know?"

"Let's keep LaCroix out of this," Nick insisted. "He's better off not involved."

"Whatever," Reality replied. "All right, hit the floor and make yourself comfy. I need to touch you so I can pump some magik through you to highlight that connection."

Nick did so, pulling up a chair so he could lean against it, then settled down next to the mage.

"Okay, now since Elaine said she smelled salt water, I've got a general idea of what direction to go out in," Reality began. "So what I need you to do, Nick, is just concentrate on her and kind of reach out with whatever vampire mojo you guys got goin'. Got it?"

"Got it." Setting himself into flashback mode, Nick thought about his sister, both as Elaine and as Fleur.

"Dude, I really hope he doesn't do that while he's driving," Reality replied, rolling her eyes. "All right, here goes nothing." She took Nick's hand in hers and then put her other hand on Truth's hilt. She closed her eyes, concentrating, and the purple aura moved from her into Nick.

Truth guided her the best he could, trying to "feel" out where he had found the blonde earlier.

Nick also felt the power coursing through him, causing his blood to call out to blood, to cry out for whichever part of his sister could help them find her.

Letting her mind free, Reality searched out for that peculiar essence that could only be described as Elaine. She felt with Nick's unique senses, enhancing and strengthening them, until her eyes suddenly opened again. Only this time they weren't purple, they were red. "Got her!"

"Where?" Richie asked, jumping up.

"I have no idea!" Reality responded cheerfully.

"But...." Nick stammered.

"Oh don't get your boxers in a twist," Reality replied. "I don't know exactly where, but I know how to find out. Anybody got a map?"

"There's one in the Caddie. I'll get it," Nat offered, leaving the room. She was back a few minutes later, map in hand.

"Great," Reality replied. "Can I borrow your cross, too?"

"Sure," Nat agreed, taking it off and handing it over. "It used to belong to Elaine. Don't know if that helps or not."

"I know, that's why I asked for it," Reality explained.

"How did you know that?" Nat asked.

"I have no idea," Reality replied, grinning from ear to ear. "Is this totally cool or what?"

"But...." Nick said, then shook his head. "Never mind, let's get on with this."

Reality spread the map out on the coffee table and held the chain over it. Suddenly it moved, circling over the map.

"Sausalito," Richie read off when it'd stopped. "Great. Let's go."

Reality handed the necklace back to Nat as she stood up. "You might want to stay behind," she suggested. "I know you're probably not real thrilled with the idea, but seeing as how you're the 'normal' one around here it might put you in bigger danger and I don't think Elaine would be real happy with us if we got you killed."

Nat opened her mouth to object, then closed it. Not only would she make things worse if anything happened to her, but, given what Divia did to Urs, Vachon and Nick last time, it would probably better to stay and make preparation here. Just in case.

"Call me as soon as you have her," she said, nodding.

"Not a problem," Richie promised.

Eyes closed, Elaine felt Divia leave her side.

Over the past hour, the ancient vampire had slowly made in-roads into her mind. Elaine had fought, as hard as she could, but she'd only managed to slow Divia's progress, not stop it.

Apparently, though, she had caused enough trouble that Divia now needed to regather her strength.

Divia went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass. Probably from the same child Elaine had tasted.

Elaine waited until she was busy drinking, then got up and ran for the door. Flying was impossible. Too much had happened for her to get in the proper frame of mind.

Having already known Elaine would try to escape, indeed, she'd been counting on it, Divia let her get almost to the door. Then she called her back.

"Oh, Elaine."

Elaine froze, unable to do anything more than turn her head and look back.

"Forget something?" Divia held up Elaine's knife. At the same time, she released her hold over Elaine.

The response was automatic. Elaine rushed Divia, intent on getting her knife back.

Divia caught Elaine by the wrists. Pushing down on them, she forced Elaine to her knees. Transferring both wrists to one hand, Divia then used the knife to systematically cut off Elaine's clothes.

As the knife touched her flesh, Elaine found herself whimpering. There was just enough pressure on the blade for it to score her skin, drawing a thin line of blood.

Worse, as each piece of fabric fell to the floor, Divia would lick the blood from Elaine's body.

The contact disgusted Elaine. And yet, at the same time, she found herself wishing it would continue.

"Does that feel good?" Divia whispered into her ear, knowing full well it did.

Elaine forced herself to not answer, biting her tongue hard enough to draw blood.

Bad mistake on Elaine's part. The new source of blood drew Divia's attention and try as she might, Elaine could not gather enough will power to keep Divia's tongue from slipping into her mouth.

Elaine almost gave in at that point, as that horrible, wonderful tongue wrapped itself around her fangs. But the images that accompanied the twisted pleasure, images involving the sadistic deaths of children, gave her the strength to go on.

Disappointed, Divia moved down to Elaine's neck.

A cold blood sweat erupted over Elaine's body. She'd almost broken before. There'd be no chance of resisting if Divia did this.

"P-please," she begged.

"Want me to stop?" Divia taunted. "Ask me to stop and I will."

Elaine didn't answer. She couldn't.

Deciding to save the neck for last, Divia moved down, lapping at Elaine's skin. Wanting the use of her hands again, she lifted Elaine up, placing her on a bar stool.

Elaine went without a struggle. By now, the question was no longer whether she would give in, but when.

Having grown up in a brothel, Divia knew exactly what she was doing. Her hands roamed Elaine's body, over her stomach, around the back, anywhere they were likely to make Elaine quiver with desire.

One of the hands eventually settled on Elaine's breast, rolling the nipple between thumb and forefinger. It was followed on the other side by Divia's mouth, sucking on the dark circle.

The second hand worked its way between Elaine's legs. It pushed inside the folds of skin, rubbing the swollen flesh it found there.

This time, Elaine didn't bother stifling the moan. It escaped her lips, letting Divia know how close she was to giving in.

"Do you want me?" Divia whispered into her ear, followed by a swirl of tongue. "Tell me you want me."

"Ah ... Ah...." One hand opened, reaching for Divia, then stopped.

Elaine's eyes shot open. They were coming! Richie, Neeki, Reality and Truth, at least, would all be here in a few minutes.

"Go tah hell, bitch!" she told Divia.

Divia, who had felt the others almost at the same time, grabbed Elaine by the hair and wrenched her head back.

"Time for plan two," she said, then sank her fangs into Elaine's neck.

Elaine's scream echoed throughout the neighborhood just as Richie pulled into the driveway.

"Elaine!" Richie shouted back as he stopped the Caddie and got out. He ran to the front door, only to find Nick already there, ripping the door off its hinges.

Reality came up behind them, Truth at the ready, wheezing a bit. "Hello, mere mortal behind you," she said. "Try to remember that, 'kay?"

Both men ignored her, heading into the house. After a few minutes of investigating, they finally found Elaine, huddled on the floor next to the kitchen bar, naked and half-covered in blood.

"'Laine?" Richie whispered, scared to death and not sure what to do next.

"Is she still here?" Reality asked Nick as she looked around.

"She's gone," Nick told her. "Flew off just as we came in." He then joined Richie at his sister's side.

There hadn't been any change in the blonde. She just sat on the floor and stared straight ahead.

"Elaine? Fleur?" he asked gently touching her.

At first, she jerked away. Then she slowly looked at him, recognition growing in her eyes. "Neeki?" She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Make it stop," she begged. "Please, make it stop. Ah can'--"

::Hand me over,:: Truth said suddenly.

Reality did so.

Elaine grabbed the blade, holding him as tightly as she was her brother.

Truth, who'd had the good sense to magik away the sharp edges on his blade before being handed over, started working his magik. He pushed through with his own overwhelming psychic energy and started setting up blocks around Elaine's mind. He 'bricked off' the parts of Elaine, Fleur and all the other personalities until a fortress had been erected around them, keeping away Divia's memories. ::Well, it's a start,:: he said finally. ::I can try undoing all the psychic damage that little bitch did later, but for now I've at least got some decent blocks up.::

"Richay?" Elaine asked, noticing her lover for the first time. "Ah'm bleedin'!"

"Are you okay?" Richie replied. He wanted to grab her and hold her and never let go, but he was too afraid that it would do more harm than good right then.

"Wannah go home," she said, still staring at the blood. Vampires weren't supposed to bleed; they healed better than Immortals, even.

Richie took his coat off and wrapped it around her. "Sure, 'Laine," he said. "We can go home now, I promise."

"Wanna go home," the blonde repeated, still clinging tightly to Truth and Nick.

A look passed between the two men. Nick picked Elaine up, since she showed no indication of moving, and they all headed out to the car.

Nat opened the door as soon as Richie pulled into the driveway. "How's Elaine?" she asked.

Reality shrugged. "She hasn't let go of Nick or Truth since we left," she answered. "I'd almost be jealous if I didn't know he needs direct contact to heal anybody else but me."

"Let me see." Nat forced her way past Nick's guard and checked on Elaine herself. "Truth, I thought you said you were healing her."

:: I am,:: Truth snapped. ::But unless I'm healing the kid over there, I can only do one thing at the time and I figured that, under the circumstances, the psychic trauma was a little more important. You're supposed to be the doctor here, you handle the physical.::

Nat fought the urge to snap out a comeback. "Bring her inside and I'll bandage her," she said instead. "She probably ought to drink something, too."

"No blood!" Elaine objected. "No moah mem'rays!"

"No blood?" Richie asked, stunned.

"No more memories?" Reality asked, confused.

Nick turned to Richie. "Get her some of mine," he instructed. "That should solve the problem."

Richie nodded and went into the house.

The others quickly followed, with Nick setting Elaine down on the couch.

::Any ideas on how to make a vampire throw up?:: Truth asked, only half kidding.

"The only time I've ever seen Elaine get sick was after the Lito B wore off," Richie said, coming back into the room carrying a bottle and glass. He poured a glass of blood and handed it to Elaine.

"Don' wan' it," she said, shoving it away.

::But it's good for you,:: Truth replied. ::It's all nummy and full of cow-y goodness. Nothin' but memories of chewin' cud and and leavin' little presents in the field for the farmer.::

"Yah drink it," Elaine snarled at him. "Don' wan' it."

"What difference does it make if she drinks cow or human?" Reality asked, still confused.

"You're blood is you," Nick explained. "All your thoughts, dreams, hope, fears, in every drop. We feed on that as much as the blood itself."

"Oh," Reality replied. "So you guys are basically saying that drinking cow blood will kind of help her to purge out Divia's memories?"

"Not quite," Elaine corrected. "Ah'll still have Divia's mem'rays. It's jus' the cow's blood won' add much tah what's alreaday theah."

"Oh," Reality said. "So why won't you drink it?"

"Evah taste it?" Elaine asked. "Shit tastes be'ah."

"But medicine's supposed to taste bad," Reality pointed out. "It's in the AMA by-laws somewhere. Anyway, since you're gonna be drinking it for medical purposes, it works. 'Sides, you could always bite Richie to kill the after-taste."

"Mah membahship in the AMA ran out fiftay yeahs ago," the blonde snarled.

"Come on, Elaine," Richie said, waggling his eyebrows at her. "Do it for me?"

Elaine glared at him, growling. Then she drank. "Ah hate this stuff," she gasped. "Ev'ry time Ah drink it, Ah always think it couldn' beh as bad as Ah remembah. But it always is."

"There's gratitude for ya," Reality replied. "I nearly fry myself trying to locate her so we can save her and she gets all peeved 'cause she's gotta suck down a little cow to help heal herself."

"Why didn' yah leave meh with Divia then?" Elaine challenged. "Sounds like Ah would have been be'ah off."

Richie pulled Nick over to the side of the room. "Nick, what's going on with Elaine?" he asked. "I've never seen her like this."

"Not sure," Nick answered. "The way she's reacting is that of a mortal who's received vampire blood without being brought across."

Back on the other side of the room, Reality let out a snort. "Well excuse me for living," she replied sarcastically as she waved her hand in Elaine's general direction. "See if I ever try and do you a favor again. Boy, first Richie balls me out while I've got a concussion and now you get all snotty on me. Next time I will let the little bitch keep you, sure looks like you were enjoying yourself after all."

With a growl, Elaine threw herself at Reality.

Before anybody could react, the blonde flew back across the room, over the couch, hit the wall, dropped to the floor, and passed out cold.

"What the!?" Nat exclaimed.

"Elaine!" Nick shouted at the same time.

Reality examined the purple sparklies in front of her. "I think I put too much juice in the force field," she replied thoughtfully.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Richie asked, going up to the mage and grabbing her arm.

"Don't get your panties in a wad, Ryan," Reality snapped as she pulled her arm back. "See, Truth figured out that we need to burn Divia's blood out of her system and then knock her out somehow. Kind of like rebooting your computer after the anti-virus stuff's done it's work. Anyway the best way to do that was to raise her metabolism by provoking some kind of extreme emotional response and either really turn her on or royally piss her off. And since it was easier to piss her off, we went with that. I just couldn't tell you guys 'cause I had to work fast 'cause there was too much of a chance of her figuring out what I was doing and shoving my head through a wall before I could get my forcefield up." Then she looked at Elaine's prone form on the floor. "Of course, she may still shove my head through the wall, but she's less likely to kill me this time."

Richie thought it through and decided to let it go. "I'll take her to bed. She can sleep it off there," he said, picking the blonde up and doing just that.

Richie tucked Elaine into bed and left the room, leaving her to sleep in peace.

Elaine slept, but it wasn't very peaceful.

What Truth hadn't realized at the time, was that while he had the right idea of sectioning off the damage Divia had caused, he was the wrong one to do it.

She needed to form her own barriers. To create a personality that could handle the memories and then block it off. The same as she had done when her mother died. The same as she had done when she was raped. Eventually, she would be able to view those memories with a calm dispassion, as if they belonged to another person, but not now. For now, they were best forgotten.

That wasn't to say everything was blocked out. Elaine _was_ able to handle most of what she had gone through, so those memories remained. Not that many of them qualified for keeping.

When Elaine finally woke, late in the afternoon, two days later, the first thing on her mind was a shower.

Closing the bathroom door behind her, Elaine turned on the water and stepped inside.

It would be so nice to finally wash the feel of Divia off her. Off her body and out of her mind.

God, that bitch was sick! She could still feel her fingers on her skin. Her lips....

Stop that! Don't think about it!

Picking up a loofah and a bottle of rose-scented body wash, Elaine squeezed some of the soap onto the sponge. Sudsing it up, she washed, rubbing the loofah all over her body.

It wasn't working. She could still feel Divia.

She tried again. And again. And again.

Becoming desperate, Elaine dropped the sponge and started scratching, digging in with her nails.

It worked marginally better. Maybe that was it -- the contaminate wasn't on her skin, but in her blood.

Elaine continued to dig, creating deep, bloody gashes in her skin. Blood poured down the drain, turning the shower into a scene out of Psycho.

And then, as if on cue, the curtain was pulled aside.

Reality and Nick felt it at almost the same time and bolted for the stairs within seconds of each other. Luckily, Nat had learned long ago to follow Nick when he reacted that strangely so she too was halfway to the stairs when she heard Richie's cry for help.

They found Richie struggling with Elaine. The petite blonde was dripping blood from several places, making it hard for him to hang on.

"A little help here?" he pleaded.

Nick joined him, grabbing one of her flying arms.

"Le' meh go!" Elaine shrieked. "Ah go'ah.... Ah need...."

"Elaine, please," Richie begged, trying desperately to hold on to her. "It's all right, you're safe now. It's me, Richie."

"Nooooo! Yah don' undahstand," she said, still struggling. "Ah've got tah get rid of hah. Please le' meh get rid of hah."

"That is enough!" Nat snapped, stepping into the fray. "Grandma, wake up!" At the word 'up' Nat slapped Elaine, as hard as she could.

Elaine's head flew back and she snarled at Nat. Then she collapsed against Richie's chest, sobbing.

Richie held her tight. "It's alright, Elaine, it's okay," he whispered, trying to soothe her.

"No, it's not," she cried.

"Why don't you take her in the bedroom so I can bandage her up?" Nat suggested. "Her neck still hasn't healed, so I doubt her arms will."

"Good idea," Richie agreed as he picked Elaine up and carried her to the bed.

"I'll go get Truth, he might be able to help," Reality added. "And I'll go see if I can find any healing spells in my book."

Nat went into the bathroom, found the first aid kit, then wrapped Elaine's arms and neck.

Reality came back up a couple minutes later with her blade and an overstuffed binder.

::Cupcake, Cupcake, Cupcake,:: Truth tsked. ::What am I going to do with you?::

"Allow meh tah used yah tah chop off Divia's head?" the blonde suggested.

::Okay,:: Truth replied a little too cheerfully. ::Of course, for me to work properly the wacko's gotta be cool with it.::

"Why would yah need Divia's pahmission tah off hah?" Elaine asked, confused.

::Wrong wacko, Cupcake,:: Truth answered. ::I meant the harmless one with the funny looking hair.::

"Hardy har har," the wacko in question replied.

"But why would Ah wan' tah haht Realitay?" Elaine asked, confused. "'Laine like Realitay."

Reality sighed. "Let me try," she said. "See, Truth has magik of his own and for somebody else to use him, I have to give permission. Otherwise he's not much better than the overgrown hedge clippers I accuse him of being. So if you really want to use him to decaffeinate Divia, I have to give you my permission to use him."

"Would yah?" the blonde asked, slapping Nat's hands away. "Stop fussin'."

"Of course," Reality answered. "Technically I already gave you permission when I handed him over to let him heal you 'cause it's not the words but the intent. But sometimes it helps to clear that all up."

"Then you stop bleeding," Nat said, slapping back. "Or I'll have Nick sit on you."

"He wouldn'," Elaine replied. "Yah wouldn', would yah, Neeki?"

"This time I would," Nick answered. "Think about it logically, Elaine, you shouldn't still be bleeding."

"Don' wannah beh logical," his sister answered. "Wannah beh left alone." She shoved Nat's hand away again.

Nat pulled her arm back, reading to slap the vampire again.

Elaine flinched, hiding her head in Richie's lap.

"Are you gonna let me finish?" Nat asked.

Whimpering, Elaine nodded. "No moah hi'in'."

"Let me finish and I won't hit you again," Nat promised.

This time, the blonde didn't answer, letting her granddaughter work in peace.

When she was done, Nat gently kissed Elaine's cheek. "I'm sorry, Grandma," she whispered into the blonde's ear.

Still no answer.

"Why don't we all go downstairs and out of here?" Richie suggested. "It might help."

"Sounds like a good idea," Reality replied, feeling really uncomfortable. "It'll give me a chance to go through my book here."

Richie grabbed Aria's robe and with Nat's help, put it on Elaine. Then he picked her up and led the way downstairs.

The group headed back downstairs and congregated in the family room. Once Richie had situated Elaine and himself on the couch, Reality handed Truth over to the blonde before crashing on the floor. She put her binder down on the coffee table, opened it up, and started flipping through it.

"What is that anyway?" Nat asked.

"My spell book," Reality answered. "Well, it's not really a spell book 'cause I don't use spells per say, but that's close enough. I think I have some notes on a healing charm or potion or something like that in here, but I can't remember off hand."

Richie leaned over and grabbed the remote off the coffee table and switched the TV on. "How about we find something nice and safe to occupy us while you look?" he suggested.

When no one answered, he flipped through the channels, finally settling on cartoons.

Reality picked her head up when she heard the cartoon he'd chosen start. "OHMYGOD! The Justice League!" she shrieked.

"I used to love this when I was a kid," Richie agreed. "Do you remember Zan and Jayna?"

"Do I?" Reality grinned. She and Richie turned to each other, grinning from ear to ear. "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!" they cried out in unison. They touched fists and then dissolved into a fit of laugher.

Nick and Nat stared at them.

"And I thought the Vataan thing was weird," Nat commented.

"Mundanes," Reality snorted. "Didn't you ever watch cartoons as a kid?"

"Nana wouldn't let me," Nat answered, shaking her head.

"Cartoons weren't invented yet," Nick said.

"Well duh," Reality replied to Nick. Then she turned back to Nat. "She wouldn't let you? Shoot, even my mother let me watch cartoons."

"Nat's nana bitch," Elaine mumbled. "Mah fault."

Nat gently kissed the top of Elaine's head. "No, it wasn't, Grandma," she said.

"Mah fault," the blonde repeated. "Le' Reese hit, passed on tah Jimmay."

"You didn't let him hit you, 'Laine," Richie said. "He would have killed you and Jimmy if he'd had half the chance. You did the only thing you could do."

"Mah fault" Elaine insisted. "Should've shot the bastahd when Ah had the chance."

"But then we probably wouldn't have met," Richie pointed out.

Elaine didn't answer. Mainly because she knew Richie was right.

::Ooh, lookie, Scooby-Doo!:: Truth announced, deftly changing the subject.

"Now this one I know," Nat said, settling into a chair. "Used to watch it with Cynthia. Anyone got any popcorn?"

Reality snapped her fingers and turned her wrist and a bowl of popcorn appeared on the table in front of them with a flash of purple light. "Yet another reason why I love kenning so much."

"Thanks," Nat said, looking suspiciously at it. When none of the kernels moved, she took a handful and stuffed it in her mouth. "Not bad."

::Who needs a microwave when you've got a mage?:: Truth agreed.

"Ha, ha," Reality replied.

The next several minutes were spent in silence, except for the sounds of Richie, Nat and Reality's munching and the TV.

Then something caught Elaine's eye. "What happened tah his balls?" she asked.

Richie almost choked on the bite of popcorn he had just taken. "What?"

"The dog," she clarified. "Ah know people castra'e animals these days, but he don' got nothin' between his legs."

Reality bit back a snicker. "He's a cartoon character, Elaine," she said.

"Sah?" Elaine asked, not getting it.

"So, little kids watch cartoons so you can't have an anatomically correct cartoon character," Reality explained.

"What's wron' with anatomicallay cahrec' cahtoon chahractahs?," the blonde continued. "It ain' like yah can' see that in real life."

"You mean aside from the coronary it would give parents' groups and censorship boards across the country?" Reality replied. "Besides, you try drawing an anatomically correct Great Dane without making it look obscene."

::Works if you're making the sequel to Fritz the Cat,:: Truth remarked.

"Geez, he goes from Barney to Baywatch to Conan O'Brien to Fritz the Cat," Richie commented. "How weird can ya get?"

::Try looking in the mirror sometime and you'll find out,:: Truth shot back.

"Realitay? If yah evah decide tah get rid of Truth, theah's a volcanah in Hawaiay that's cahren'lay ahrup'in'," Elaine said, not appreciating having her boyfriend insulted, even by Truth. "Shouldn' take meh moah then half an hoah fah meh tah fly ovah theah."

"Sorry, won't work," Reality told her. "No matter what I do, I'm stuck with him until the day I die. And as annoying as he may be, I don't exactly wanna hurry that day along, know what I mean?"

"Truth's melt-proof? Ah yah shoah weh can' find some way of givin' him tah MacLeod?" For some reason, the idea of Duncan being stuck with the sword for all eternity appealed to Elaine.

"Yep, it's a magik thing. And I'm sure, he's magikally bound to my soul and that connection can only be broken by my death," the mage answered. "It's the main reason why I didn't just give him over to Merlin when he asked. I can lend him to Mac, but that's about it.

"That's too bad. Abou' not bein' able tah give him tah MacLeod, Ah mean. Ah wouldn' wan' anythin' tah evah happen tah Truth," the blonde said, running a slow hand down his blade.

Truth rumbled, causing Richie to be struck with the idea that if Truth had been a dog, his hind leg would be going a mile a minute.

Elaine smiled. She'd never made love to a sword before. This was a first. The blonde shifted to a more comfortable position, unconsciously giving Truth a view up her robe.

::Well, hellooooooooo GI Jane!:: Truth cat-called.

"Huh?" Elaine asked.

Richie put his lips to her ear. "You're going commando again and you just gave Truth the steel equivalent of an eyeful."

Elaine grinned. "Like what yah see?" she asked, stroking him again.

Truth made some very positive sounds.

"Um, Elaine, did I ever tell you that everything Truth feels, I feel?" Reality asked, shifting uncomfortable in her seat.

"Sah?" the blonde asked. Then it sunk in. "Oh, sahrah." She stopped stroking Truth and handed the sword back to Reality.

::Damn it, woman! Do you know how long I've been waiting to get lucky?!::

"Not long enough," Reality hissed.

"Realitay, hon, if it evah gets too bah fah yah, yah welcome tah bahrah Richay," Elaine suggested. "Ah'd offah tah take caah of yah mahself, onlay Ah tend tah kill mah pahtnahs."

Reality shook her head in wonderment. "Remind me to talk to you sometime about your taste in friends, Ryan," she sighed.

"Oh, Ah think Richay has verrah good taste," Elaine said, continuing to tease the mage. "At least, he tastes good, which is close enough. Sah does Aria. Adam, too, fah that ma'ah."

::Well, well,:: Truth replied. ::I think Mister Adam has changed quite a bit since his Lancelot days.::

"Lancelot days?" Elaine repeated.

Reality nodded. "When we found Merlin, Adam was the one who recognized him. Turns out he'd been a Knight of the Round Table and had been after Merlin for centuries," she answered. "It wasn't until Merlin recognized Adam that we found out he'd been a Knight under the name of Lancelot du Lac."

"Adam? Ah Adam was Lancelot?" Elaine turned to Richie. "Did yah know abou' this?"

"Well...," Richie answered.

"Yah ninnay!" She grabbed a pillow and swatted him. "Why didn' yah tell meh?"

"You never asked," Richie answered, ducking. "Besides, you're the one who's bit him twice."

"Yeah, an' Ah ended up tipsay both times. The onlay reason Ah remembah abou' him bein' Lucien's slave is because weh talked abou' it," the blonde retorted. "Know what Ah think? Ah think yah jus' wan'ed tah keep that lance of his fah yahself." Elaine pounced, her hand disappearing down the front of Richie's pants.

"Ahem," the others in the room grumbled, trying to remind them of their presence.

Elaine ignored them. Fortunately, Richie didn't.

"Elaine," he said, gently removing her hand. "Later."

That started Elaine pouting, so to make up for it, he tucked her under his arm and snuggled.

Wrong move. Elaine gave a screech and zipped to the other side of the couch. "Don' touch meh!"

"'Laine?" Richie asked, concerned.

"Won' do it," she said, not seeing him. "Won' le' yah do it."

::Cupcake,:: Truth sent gently. ::It's okay, the little witch can't hurt you anymore.::

"Won' hah' Lucien," the blonde continued. "Can' make meh."

::Nobody's gonna make you do anything, I promise.::

Nick carefully reached out to touch his sister. "Elaine...."

He got a response. Elaine slowly turned and looked at him. "Neeki? But she killed yah. Cut off yah head. Ah'm supposed tah take it tah Lucien."

"Elaine, you're hallucinating," Nick replied.

"But Ah saw her. She tol' meh," she continued, confused.

"You didn't see her, Elaine," Nick pointed out. "You've been here the with us the whole time."

"But...."

::The little slut was messin' with your head again,:: Truth replied, sounding very peeved.

Elaine burst into tears.

Richie just held her close and let her cry. "We've gotta figure out how to stop her."

"Well, that charm I left on the house should tell us if she ever goes back there," Reality replied. "But I'm afraid that was all I could do under the circumstances."

"Ah know wheah she is," Elaine mumbled. "Cn feel hah."

"You do?" the others all asked in surprise.

The blonde nodded. "Neeki, yah shouldn' beh sah sahprised. Yah know the hold Lucien has ovah us. Why should it bah anay diff'ren' with Divia aftah all the bitch has done tah meh?"

"So where is she?" Nick asked.

"That way." Elaine pointed east.

::Oh yeah, that helps,:: Truth replied sarcastically.

"Don't start, ya toothpick," Reality shot back. "Anyway you could narrow that down some, Elaine?"

"Not reallay," Elaine apologized. "Jus' stah' headin' that way an' Ah'll le' yah know when yah need tah change dahrections."

"Sounds like a plan," Reality replied. "You guys start getting ready and get Elaine dressed, I'm gonna go change."

Richie and Nat helped Elaine upstairs, where the petite blonde proved amazingly difficult to get to cooperate. But finally they were all downstairs and ready to go.

"So where's Reality?" Nick asked when the mage didn't come with them.

"Right behind ya, Brickhead," Reality answered.

"Before we leave, would you put some wards up around the house?" he requested. "I don't want Nat to be in danger from Divia if we fail this time."

"'Kay," Reality replied.

"I see, leave me behind again to not know what's happening," Nat complained before looking Reality up and down. "Nice armor."

"Thanks," Reality replied, grinning. "And damn straight we're leaving you behind. I want you safe and sound and ready to patch me up in case these two knuckleheads nearly get me killed again."

"Sides, if yah get killed, yah an' Joe won' beh able tah give meh great great great grandchildren," Elaine added.

Nat blushed and Nick raised an eyebrow.

"And what exactly did you mean by that?" he asked.

"Joe and I have been ... talking on the phone ... and writing letters ... and emailing each other ever since we got back from Seacouver," Nat confessed.

"Um, maybe we oughta save this for after we defeat the evil bad guy?" Reality suggested, trying to stave off a fight before it began.

"Sure," Nick agreed, glaring at Nat. "Let's go."

Grabbing Truth, Reality popped her helm onto her now metallic purple head and headed off.

"Pull ovah heah, Neeki," Elaine instructed.

Nick did so, parking his Caddie next to an abandoned lot.

"Are you sure?" Richie asked his lover.

"She's here," Nick answered for his sister. "I can feel her."

"So let's go nail her scrawny little butt to the nearest wall and wait for the sun to come up," Reality said.

"Don't you think we ought to find her first?" Richie half-joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Reality shrugged. "Minor detail," she replied.

"Well, weh'ah not ge'in' anythin' done heah," Elaine said. Unbuckling her seat belt, she opened the door and got out.

"You guys gonna sit there all day or are you comin'?" Reality asked as she followed suit.

The two men got out and they all headed into the middle of the field.

"So where is she?" Richie asked.

"Right here," a voice above them said.

::Oh lookie, a floating psycho soon to be on a stick,:: Truth said as they all looked up. ::Haven't seen one of those in ages.::

"How nice of you to bring dinner, Elaine," Divia said, ignoring him. "Not to mention the sword."

Swooping down, Divia grabbed Truth from his scabbard and flew off.

::EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! Reality, she's touching me!:: Truth yelled. ::Get her off! Get her off!::

"Hey, bitch!" Reality called. "Give me back my sword!"

"Come and get it!" the vampire taunted.

Reality flashed Divia a wicked grin as she calmly held out her hand. "Truth," she said simply.

With a flash, Truth was back where he belonged. ::Well it's about damn time!:: he spat out. ::Good lord! I need to be boiled and disinfected and polished for a month straight. Oh man I'd puke if I had a mouth.:: He made a few gagging noises.

"Would mah touch beh be'ah?" Elaine asked, an odd look in her eyes.

::Whatta you think, Cupcake?:: Truth replied.

"May Ah," Elaine then asked the mage. "Yah did promise meh Ah could have Truth's help in dealin' with Divia."

Reality flipped Truth around and handed him hilt first to the blonde.

"Thanks." Elaine took Truth and took off, headed straight for Divia. At the last second, she paused in mid air, moved her hand up to the blade, and offered him to the ancient vampire.

"HEY!" Reality yelled at the vampire.

"Did you hear anything?" Divia asked Elaine.

"Jus' some pes'," Elaine answered. "Nothin' much tah worrah abou'."

Divia motioned for Elaine to keep Truth, then the two landed, Elaine standing behind her new Master. Both of their eyes were glowing blood red.

"TRUTH!" Reality yelled. Only this time there was no magik behind it.

::Something's wrong here,:: Truth told her. ::Elaine's ... not Elaine.::

"What do you mean she's not Elaine?" Richie asked, trying desperately not to panic.

::You've been sleeping with her how long and you still don't know she's a multiple personality, Monkey Boy?:: the sword asked. ::What a yutz.::

Confused, Richie turned to Nick. "Did you know about this?"

Nick nodded. "She's always been that way, as long as I've known her. From what Truth says, it sounds like a new personality has taken over."

"I knew about Fleur and Annie, but I thought that was just stuff she picked up from being a vampire," Richie said.

"Hey, now there's a thought!" Reality replied. ::Truth, I gots me an idea!::

::Yeah, I guess there really is a first time for everything,:: Truth shot back. ::But I think I know where you're heading. The bad news is, it's gonna take about all I've got to try and get through to Fleur. The good news is, for the time being I basically become just a regular sword so at least we don't have to worry about her using my magik to hurt you guys. The really good news is that once I do get through to Fleur, she should be able to help get Elaine back.::

::Then rock on, little metal buddy,:: Reality replied. ::I'll get the guys and we'll keep things covered out here.::

"Are you done?" Divia asked. "If you are, I promised Elaine she could kill Nicholah. Ready, Elaine?"

"Readay."

Elaine leaned forward and the two kissed passionately, with Divia weaving her hand in Elaine's hair.

"::SPEW!::" Reality and Truth replied at the same time.

The two vampires glared at them and hissed.

Reality held her hands out in front of her and in a "come here" motion. "Try me," she shot back.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Richie moaned.

"Tell me about it," Nick agreed.

"What's the ma'ah, Richay," Elaine taunted. "Yah used tah like it when Ah kissed Aria."

"Aria isn't a perverted little psycho hose beast!" Richie shot back.

Elaine growled loudly. "Ah wan' him. Le' meh have him, Divia. Please?"

"Patience, my dear," Divia replied. "Nicholas first, then you can do whatever you want to the others."

"What's the matter, Divia?" Nick taunted. "Are you still so weak and pathetic that you can't face me yourself? Or are you afraid I might stake you again permanently this time?"

"The last time we were in a fair fight, you were left on the floor, not I," Divia reminded him. "Shall we try again?"

"Divia, yah promised!" Elaine pouted, stamping her foot.

"Don't worry, Divie," Reality added. "You'll be plenty busy, unless you're scared of a little ol' mortal."

Divia looked Reality up and down and snorted.

Nick shrugged. "I wouldn't take it personally, Reality," he said. "Divia's always just been a perverted little ingrate who has to kill children to get her jollies. Not even worth worrying about, really."

"GET HIM!" Divia shrieked, pointing at Nick.

"With pleasah." Elaine rose into the air, brandishing Truth like the sword he was.

"SCATTER!" Richie suggested.

::Hey! Nobody said anything about using me to play pin the tail on the brickhead,:: Truth said. ::Okay, under different circumstances I probably would enjoy it, but this is ridiculous!::

"Shut up oh Ah'll toss yah intah the neahres' blas' fahnace," Elaine growled at him. "It may not destroy yah, but it'll haht like hell."

::Cupcake, when this is over with, you and me are havin' a _long_ talk,:: Truth grumbled. ::Preferably one where my point is at your neck.::

As Elaine approached her brother, Nick took off into the air. She quickly followed.

"Now what do we do?" Richie hissed to Reality from their hiding spot.

"Beats the hell out of me," Reality answered.

"You could always come out and play," Divia said, appearing behind them.

"AHHHH!!!!" the mage and Immortal yelped in unison as they spun around.

Panicking, Richie dove behind the armor clad Reality while an eldritch bolt shot out of each of the freaked out mage's gauntleted hands. Luckily for them, a few of them managed to hit Divia.

"Good thing I do that when I panic, huh?" she called over her shoulder to her friend. Then she turned back to Divia and her eyes narrowed. "Wanna find out what I do when I'm pissed?"

"Only if you're willing to find out about me as well," the ancient vampire returned.

Reality's bolts had an unexpected side effect. Elaine paused in mid-air and lowered Truth. "Neeki?" she asked, confused.

::Hot damn!:: Truth replied. ::Reality, keep hittin' the little twerp, it's working!::

"My pleasure," Reality replied, an evil grin on her face. She raised her hands again and more bolts of purple energy leapt out of her fingers.

Divia ripped the tree Reality and Richie had been hiding behind out of the ground and batted the bolts back. Then she tossed the tree after them.

At the same time, Elaine raised the sword and charged Nick again. Nick was forced to grab a nearby downspout and defend himself.

Reality just glanced at the tree and it suddenly burst into flames before disintegrating. "Not smart," she said, her eyes now glowing with the same purple energy that she'd had before. She turned to Divia and bolts shot out of her eyes and nailed the vampire. "Richie, Merlin!"

"Merlin?!" Richie replied. Then he grinned, suddenly getting it. "Gotcha, Merlin!"

Richie ducked to the left, trying to say out of Divia's sight.

Just to be on the safe side, Reality turned and shot a few bolts forcing Divia to the right.

Elaine faltered again, then continued the attack. She knocked the pipe out of Nick's hands, forcing him to find something else to defend himself with.

Reality fired again, trying to buy Nick and Richie a little more time.

Divia found a piece of glass to use as a shield. The bolts bounced, hitting Richie instead.

Richie bit his lip, just barely keeping himself from crying out and giving away his location. Thankfully, Reality wasn't tossing fireballs this time out, so it was more like getting hit in the chest with a really big and hard ball.

A few more minutes of sneaking, and he was behind Divia. Richie motioned to Reality to be more careful where she was shooting bolts.

Reality restrained herself from shooting him a dirty look (after all, she was watching where she was firing. She kind of had to watch where she was firing given the current circumstances. It wasn't her fault Divia had found that piece of glass). Instead, she started forcing the vampire backwards and closer to the young Immortal.

As soon as Divia was in range, Richie swung.

The ancient vampire turned just in time to see his sword right before it connected with her neck.

Elaine let out a screech, falling out of the air exactly as Divia's head hit the ground.

"Score!" Reality cheered, her eyes returning to normal.

Nick dove and caught Elaine just before she hit the ground. "Great shot, Richie," he said. "You know, you two make a pretty good team."

"We ought to," Reality commented. "This is our third story together."

"Is she all right?" Richie asked, looking worriedly at Elaine.

"Out cold, but she seems okay," Nick answered.

::Hello! Somebody wanna get me out this death grip, please?:: Truth asked.

"I do kinda need him to open the portal," Reality pointed out.

"Here, I'll do it." Richie tried to gently open up Elaine's fingers. It didn't work.

"Try breaking them," Nick suggested.

"I don't wanna do that!" Richie replied, appalled.

"Oh for the love of...." Reality grumbled. She held out her hand and rolled her eyes at the two men. "Truth!"

Truth winked out of existence and reappeared in Reality's gauntleted hand. ::It's about frickin' time, hello.::

"So now what?" Richie asked. "Will Elaine wake up once we get rid of Divia?"

Reality shrugged. "Only one way to find out." She raised Truth and began the spell. Once she was ready, she slashed forward, creating a purple vortex in the air before. "'Kay, who wants to do the honors?"

"I will," Nick said, handing Elaine to Richie. "She's my 'relative'. Head or body first?"

"Head," Reality answered. "I figured I'd just flame the body, less chance of them accidentally rejoining in some other dimension that way."

Nick picked up Divia's head by the hair and threw it as hard as he could into the vortex.

"What about cutting the rest of the body into parts before you flame it?" Richie suggested. "I can't believe I just said that."

Reality shrugged. "Worth a shot in the dark."

Richie took his sword and sliced through Divia's body at the major joints. "I figure cutting each finger into pieces is a bit much," he explained.

"Just a touch of over kill," Reality agreed as she worked up a good fireball. "Whenever you're ready."

Nick and Richie stepped back, far out of range. "Go for it," Nick said.

When she was ready, Reality tossed the fireball at Divia's body, which immediately went up in flames. Then she raised her arms and the wind picked up. It lifted Divia's ashes and swirled them around and around. Then little by little, the ashes blew into the vortex and it finally closed. "All done," she said cheerfully.

"Mmmmf," Elaine said, stirring. "What's goin' on? An' why is Neeki cahrayin' meh?"

"Don't you remember, 'Laine?" Richie asked.

"Jus' that weh had split up an' Divia attacked." The blonde looked around, taking in the people surrounding her. "Wheah's Nat? Divia get hah?"

"Elaine, that was like a few days ago," Reality replied. "Don't you remember? Divia jumped Richie, I threw a few bolts at her and she threw me into the wall, then you called her name and she grabbed you."

"Not yet, but Ah'm shoah Ah will," Elaine answered, pulling the bandages off her arms and neck. "Sah did weh get hah?"

"Oh yeah," Reality replied, grinning. "Richie and I nailed her but good!"

"An' the bitch ain' comin' back?" Elaine wanted to make sure of it.

"Considering the odds of her reforming and then finding another way back into this dimension are like astronomical, I think that's pretty much a yes," Reality answered.

"After we tossed her head into the vortex, Reality flamed her and then sent the ashes through too," Richie explained.

"That ... ought tah wahk," Elaine agreed. She then turned to her brother. "Yah cn put meh down now, Neeki. Oh at least hand meh ovah tah Richay."

Nick unceremoniously dumped Elaine into Richie's arms. "You can have her," he sighed.

"Gee, thanks," Richie said, wincing under the sudden weight. "Nice to have you back."

"Nice tah beh back, Ah guess," Elaine answered, kissing him.

"Yep, she's fine," Nick said.

::Great. Vampbitch is gone and Cupcake's Cupcake again. Can we go home now?:: Truth asked.

"Picky, picky," Reality replied.

"We probably should," Richie said. "I'm sure Nat's worried sick by this point."

"Sure," Nick agreed.

The four, with Elaine still being carried by Richie, headed for the Caddie and headed back to the house.

Once there, Nat again threw open the door and raced to meet them. "Did you get her? Is Elaine okay?"

"Cahse Ah'm okay," Elaine told her, getting out and giving her grand daughter a hug. "Why wouldn' Ah beh?"

"Well, after what happened earlier, I was just wondering," Nat answered, confused.

"That's all finished now," Elaine waved it off. "Richay an' Realitay took caah of Divia an' got rid of hah boday. With luck, she won' beh comin' back this time."

"Good riddance," Nat replied. "And you guys are all okay too?"

::Well, I need to a good bath in some strong disinfectant, but other than that we're just peachy,:: Truth answered.

"Yah know, now that yah mention it, a bath sounds good," Elaine agreed. "Especiallay if Ah cn get Richay tah scrub mah back."

"Reality, why don't you go change and I'll take you and Nat out to get something to eat?" Nick suggested. "Let those two celebrate in piece and all."

"Sounds like a plan," Reality replied.

"Take yah time in ge'in' home," Elaine said. "Fah some reason, Ah seem tah have wahked up an appetite."

::Oh lord, get me outta here,:: Truth sighed.

"Ah'm shoah weh could add yah as well, aftah the showah," Elaine laughed.

"Okay, now get me outta here!" Reality replied.

"Sure thing," Nick agreed, glad to have his sister back. "Everyone who's going, into the Caddie."

Reality looked down at her armor. "Aw screw it," she replied. "It's San Francisco, not like I'll stick out that much." She sheathed Truth and proceeded to hop into the back seat.

Nick and Nat joined her, in the front seat, and the three were off.

Richie put his arm around Elaine's shoulders and started to lead her back into the house. "So you're really okay?" he asked.

"Yah say that like yah expec' meh not tah beh." Elaine moved so she was in front of Richie, walking backwards. "Tell yah what," she said, sticking her hand in his pants, "ask meh again in a half hoah."

When Richie woke up in bed later, he found Elaine writing in one of her notebooks.

"You haven't done that in awhile," Richie pointed out. "At least not in mine."

"Haven' had anay reason tah la'elay," the blonde shrugged.

"Wanna talk about it?" Richie asked.

"Wha' fah?" Elaine replied. "Divia bit meh, Ah tahned trai'ah, then Ah came out of it."

"Well it's a little more complicated than that," Richie pointed out.

"It is?" she asked. "Sounds like somethin' bad happened."

"That's what we've been trying to figure out," Richie replied. "You don't remember trying to scratch all your skin off in the shower?"

"No, Ah don'," Elaine answered, frowning. "Ah suppose Ah was tryin' tah get rid of the infection caused by Divia's bite."

"Can I ask you something?" Richie asked.

"Shoah," she shrugged. "Yah know yah cn always ask meh anythin'."

"We're you, like, ever gonna fill us in on the fact that you're a multiple personality?"

"Ah'm a what?" Elaine's head snapped around to look at him. "Yah know, that makes a lot of sense."

"You mean you didn't know?" Richie asked, surprised.

"What, yah think Ah was readin' Sybil an' decided it sounded familiah oh somethin'?" she replied, scooting around so her head was resting on Richie's chest, looking up at him. "Ah knew theah was somethin' diff'ren' abou' the way mah brain wahked, from the fahs' time Ah tasted anothah mind. Had no ideah it wen' this fah, though."

Richie wrapped his arm around her. "I don't know," he said. "I just mean you know about Fleur and Annie, so I thought maybe you're aware of all the rest of it, too."

"Sah? Flah an' Annay jus' have names wheah the res' of 'em don'," Elaine answered. "Ain' no diff'rence, othahwise."

"How am I supposed to know that?" Richie asked, hurt. "I'm not the doctor, remember?"

"Sahrah." Elaine pulled Richie's head down for a kiss. "But yah have tah realize, Ah have the opposite problem. Ah've been this way all mah life, sah it's nahmal tah meh. It's havin' onlay yahself in yah head that seems unnatuahral tah meh."

"So how do we handle this?" Richie asked. "I mean, you and I both have that tendency to just hide things and not deal with them at all. But Ari's right, that's not really very healthy."

"Why do weh need tah handle it?" Elaine countered. "It's not like Ah cn go tah a psychiatrist an' talk it ovah. Not shoah Ah reallay wan' tah, neithah."

"Because the last time you refused to deal with something you tried to give me a discount sex change," Richie reminded her. "And I'm not saying a shrink. Maybe ... maybe just talking to me and Ari for once might be enough. Unless we can find you a vampire shrink."

"Richay, if Ah'm blockin' somethin' out, theah's a reason fah it." Elaine shifted position, straddling Richie's waist. "But Ah'll make yah a deal, if somethin' does happen an' Ah stah' remembahrin', Ah'll open up befoah anythin' bad happens, a'right?"

"All right," Richie agreed. "I guess I can live with that."

"Prove it," Elaine challenged, eyes turning gold.

"But then I wouldn't be living with it," Richie teased.

"Ah know. That's half the fun."

Any further conversation was prevented by her kissing him.

"Do yah reallay have tah go?" Elaine pouted, holding Truth in her arms. "Ah mean, weh haven' even gone shoppin' yet."

"Yes I do," Reality answered. "As much as I'm enjoying hanging with you guys, I really need to get back to work. Not all of us have the luxury of being independently wealthy ya know. Besides, I miss Tom."

"Sah brin' Tom heah an' weh'll find jobs fah yah both," Elaine offered. "What does Tom do, anayway?"

"He's an architect," Reality answered. "But it doesn't work that way, Elaine."

"Why not? Ah know lot of people who could use new houses," the blonde said.

"It's not the job, it's the dimension thing," Reality explained. "I can come visit, but I have to live in my own dimension."

"Oh." Elaine returned to pouting. "Yah will come visi'in', though, right?"

"Of course," Reality replied. "Although after what happened I wouldn't think you'd want me to come back."

"Wasn' yah fault," the blonde shrugged. Then she brightened up. "Jus' make shoah nex' time yah brin' Tom with yah sah Truth 'n' Ah cn play."

::All right!:: Truth cheered. ::Who knew doofus actually had a good use?::

Reality wasn't quite sure whether to scream, sigh, or get sick.

"It'll beh fun," Elaine assured her. "Think of it as ... a threesome with onlay two people."

"And that's supposed to talk me into it?" Reality replied.

"Plus Truth will beh sah othahwise occupayed he won' beh able tah make anay commen's on yah technique," the blonde pointed out.

"He doesn't do that anyway," Reality countered.

::Yeah, it's not like I actually want to get into those two going at it,:: Truth replied. ::Sometimes I just can't help but hear it, but then you'd have to no eardrums whatsoever to not hear them.::

"Le' meh guess, Tom's intah the cave man routine?" Elaine asked.

"All right, that's it! We're outta here," Reality said,