DISCLAIMER: The usual ramble. Schanke, Richie, Nick, the HL and FK universes aren't ours, they're borrowed. Elaine, Aria, the cute guy at the grocery store, and probably anyone you don't recognize are, so ask before using.

Special thanks to JJ and Liz' Dad for beta duties.

My Dinner With Schanke

Elaine wandered the aisles, pushing the cart before her. It still amazed her, all that food for sale in one place. No having to make a special trip to the butcher or place special orders for everyday items.

There was one thing, though, about the modern grocery store that annoyed the blonde. For some reason, half the items on her list were located on the top shelf, out of reach. Normally, Richie accompanied her and did the fetching, but this time he was back home, helping Aria entertain Nick and Nat.

Too bad stores had cameras all over the place these days. It'd be so simple just to float up to get what she needed.

Instead, placing her hands as high as she could reach and one foot on the second to bottom shelf, Elaine 'lifted' herself up and grabbed the bottle of wine she needed. Any clerk who saw her doing that would probably have yelled at her to stop, but then, if any clerk had been around, she wouldn't have had to do it in the first place.

Crossing the last item off her list, Elaine headed for the checkout. Once there, both she and the clerk spent several minutes exchanging glances.

"I never expected to see another of us here," the clerk finally said. "I mean, I work here because I like the hours and not many people come in at this time of night. But I don't bring any food home and cook it. How do you stand the smell?"

"Ah've go'en used tah it," Elaine shrugged. "Ah have some ... friends who enjoy mah cookin' an' in retahn, they make meh happay. It's a verrah equitable relationship."

The clerk's eyes widened in awe. "Wow. I hope I can get that good some day."

"Maybeh yah will some day." Elaine smiled and handed over the required number of twenties. Placing the bags into the cart, she wheeled it outside and took off with it.

"So has Nick started to suspect anythin' yet?" Aria whispered to the mortal woman next to her.

"He knows someone's coming over for dinner and it must be someone important, otherwise Elaine wouldn't have been cooking up a storm all day," Nat answered. "Other than that, no."

"Think we're drivin' him daft yet?"

"How do you tell the difference?" Nat asked, smiling wickedly.

"I knew there was a reason why I liked ya," Aria laughed.

"Oh, like me being Elaine's granddaughter wouldn't have been enough for you," Nat shot back, teasingly.

Elaine appeared in the doorway, whipping a bowl of potatoes. "Nicholah, beh a deah an' ansah the doah, would yah?" she asked before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Sure enough, the doorbell rang a few seconds later.

"Sure thing," Nick said, going up to the door and answering it.

"Guess who? Ol' buddy, ol' pal," Schanke said, smiling widely.

Nick's jaw all but hit the ground. "Schank? But ... but ... you're dead!"

"Only for a half hour. Woke up in the morgue, almost scared the crap out of whoever was working there and managed to make it home without being spotted," Schanke told him. "So, you gonna give your old partner a hug or what?"

"But ... but ... but...." Nick stammered.

"I'll be damned," Nat said, coming into the room, "he's actually speechless. I'm impressed, Don."

"Hey, Nat!" Schanke pushed past Nick and gave Nat a hug. "When did you and Nick start taking vacations together?"

"Since weh found out she's mah great great gran'daugh'ah," Elaine answered, reappearing. "Ev'nin', Don-Dons. Myrah, why don' yah 'n' Jennay come help meh in the kitchen?"

"And Nick, love, close the door," Aria added. "And make sure ya bloody well shut your mouth before ya start droolin' over my floor."

"Huh?" Nick asked, coming out of the flashback he'd been in and doing as Aria suggested. "Oh, sure. It's good to see you, Schank. And Myra and Jenny."

"Such emotion, I'm underwhelmed," Schanke replied sarcastically.

"He probably hasn't gotten over you being alive," Nat said. "Here, let me take your coat. Does it come with a sword, like Richie's and Aria's do?"

"Usually," Schanke admitted. "Except it's an ax, not a sword."

"You had an ax with you the whole time we were partners?" Nick asked. "In my car?!"

"Like you never kept anything from me, partner," Schanke pointed out. "Word to the wise, pal o' mine, that eyeball trick you do doesn't work on my kind. I just decided I was better off playing along."

"You knew?" Nick paled under his pallor. "But ... you should have said something."

"And miss all the fun of watching you vamp out on me?" Schanke countered. "Besides, if I told you I knew, you'd wanna know how I knew and I didn't think that would go over very well."

"Besides, if Don had told you he knew, would you have been as comfortable working with someone who knew how to kill you?" Myra pointed out as she, Jenny and Elaine entered the room, all carrying dishes. "Not to mention what all the other vampires would have done to him."

"She's got a point there, Nick," Nat agreed, as they all gathered around the table to eat.

"Oh, sure, take his side," Nick told her. "I suppose you knew about this?"

"Only since the Black and White Ball," Nat admitted. "We ran into each other on the dance floor. Otherwise I was as in the dark about all this as you were."

"Yeah, just our luck. We move across the continent and not only do we bump into Nat, but it turns out she's related to...." A quick glance from Myra shut Schanke up. "You weren't a vamp-babe back then, right?" he then asked Elaine.

"Not quite," Elaine answered. "Ah'd been bi'en, sah Ah was infected by the virus, but Ah hadn' fullay come across yet."

"Amazing what a small world this is, isn't it?" Richie replied. "Although I do get a little tired of running into my girlfriends' former lovers."

"Like yah past isn' anay be'ah," Elaine pointed out. "Annay tried tah kill meh. Would've done sah, too, if Ah'd been mah'al."

"Yeah, but I'm younger than you are, my ex's are supposed to still be alive," Richie pointed out.

"Excuse me, former lovers?" Nick interrupted.

Elaine and Schanke looked at each other.

"Well, it's like this," Don-Dons began.

"Yah remembah mah hist'ray with Reese," Elaine said at the same time. "Don-Dons was one of them."

"I boffed your sister," he concluded.

"YOU WHAT?!"

Jenny wrinkled her nose. "Daaaaaa-aaad," she said, clearly embarrassed, "that is, like, so gross."

"It wasn't like weh knew who each othah wah. Ah wasn' even officiallay yah sistah yet," Elaine pointed out. "Reese picked him, sah Ah did mah usual."

"And that reminds me," Don interrupted. "About your husband...."

"Richay got him a few yeahs back," she answered.

"Good job, kid," Schanke replied. "I kinda wondered about him, but I couldn't really say anything, ya know? Although feeling a pre-Immortal in the other room when you and I were together really creeped me out."

"Yah knew?" Elaine asked. "That why yah lef' sah suddenlay, because yah didn' wan' me invitin' yah back fah a repeat pahfahmance?"

"More like I'd heard MacLeod was in the area and wanted to get the hell out of there," Schanke explained.

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and which MacLeod would that have been?"

"Duncan. What? You know him?" Don answered. "No offense, I guess he's nice enough if he likes you, but if he doesn't, you might as well be wearing a choker that has a dotted line and the words, 'cut here' on it."

"Both of 'em actually," Aria replied. "And don't worry, I'm pretty sure Duncan would like you. And if he doesn't, he'll be findin' another size nine boot firmly planted up his arse."

"Don-Dons, Duncan was both Richay an' Aria's teachah," Elaine told him. "As fah meh, if yah evah decide tah go aftah him, Ah'll give yah a token fah luck."

"'Laine," Aria warned.

"What?" the blonde vampire said defensively. "Ah promised Ah wouldn' go aftah him mahself. Nevah said anaythin' abou' cheahrin' someone else on."

"I take it Elaine doesn't like Duncan MacLeod?" Myra asked.

"Can you say understatement of the century?" Richie replied.

"Jus' because Joe, Aria an' yahself ah the onlay thin' cahren'lay keepin' him alive...," Elaine answered.

"Who's Joe?" Schanke asked.

"Ah saht of used tah date him dahrin' Nam an' in retahn, he introduced meh tah Richay a couple yeahs ago," she explained. "One of the bes' thin's that evah happened tah meh."

"Well, couldn't this Duncan hurt you just as easily?" Myra asked.

For an answer, Elaine picked up the knife by her plate and snapped it in two. "Unlike mah brothah, Ah'm not afraid of what Ah am," she said. "The onlay time Ah'm that vuln'rable is when Ah'm sleepin' an' he has tah find meh fahst."

"Can we not get into this tonight?" Aria asked. "I really get tired of it all, Elaine."

"I thought it was neat!" Jenny said. "What else can you break?"

"What do yah wan' meh tah break?" Elaine shrugged.

Aria sighed. "Aye well we've just bloody well lost control of the entire bloody evenin'."

"Breaking things can wait until after dinner," Myra interjected. "As can any mention of fights, beheadings or anything else that will ruin my appetite."

"Well shoot, there goes half m'best stories," Aria replied with a grateful wink in Myra's direction.

"Mama says that even though Daddy's a blood-thirsty killer doesn't mean we have to act like it," Jenny said, with a vengeful glance at her mother.

"Reformed killer," Myra corrected.

"Been outta the Game for awhile?" Aria asked as she began to pour the wine. "Or is she talkin' about before?"

"Grew up in rough times," Don shrugged. "My Dad taught me to fight, than I joined a mercenary gang when I got old enough. Managed to survive for about fifteen years, then was massacred, along with everyone else in my troop."

"Got nailed in combat m'self," Aria replied. "Poor Richie here got shot by a junkie."

"Hey, just 'cause I didn't die a warrior's death," Richie teased.

"Gunned down by a strung up punk, tryin' tah save Tessah, Ah'd say that coun'ed fah somethin'," Elaine pointed out. "Much be'ah then the way Ah fin'lay went."

"You mean you didn't get?" Schanke made biting motions with his fingers.

"Event'allay, but fahst Reese hit meh hahd enough tah make meh fall intah the fiahplace," she answered. "Wouldn' have sahvived if Ah hadn' have been paht vampiah alreaday."

"What about you, Uncle Nick?" Jenny asked.

Nick opened his mouth to answer when Don interrupted.

"Wait, wait, don't tell me," he said, snapping his fingers at his former partner. "It was Janette, right? She put the bite on you."

"No wonder he made such a good cop," Aria teased. "Although, from what Elaine's told me, you're only half right."

"Janette...," Nick paused, trying to find an explanation suitable for the dinner table.

"Jenette seduced Neeki," Elaine supplied. "Did a good enough job of it that by the time Lucien wen' an' brough' him across, Neeki would have agreed tah jus' abou' anaythin'."

Schanke looked like he didn't know whether to burst out laughing or pass out under the table. "Lucien?" he asked finally. "You mean as in LaCroix? That Nightcrawler guy?"

"He brought both Elaine and me across," Nick nodded.

"Ah said he was a saht of a fathah figah tah meh," Elaine added.

"I wouldn't think about it too much, Don," Aria replied. "The whole thing gives me a bloody wicked headache and I'm used to it."

"Don't worry," Don assured her. "Figuring out all ins and outs of Immortals and Watchers is bad enough. Do you know that Myra here is a direct descendant of my Watcher three lifetimes ago? Didn't know that until after we were married, of course."

"Mine's m'housekeeper's daughter," Aria replied. "They recruited her 'cause she's the only one who can get on m'estate without raisin' m'suspicions. Little did they know that I've know of their existence for most of m'Immortal life."

"So who's Richie's Watcher?" Jenny asked.

"Dead, whenevah Ah get mah hands on one," Elaine answered, glaring at her.

"Subject change," Richie declared.

"Good idea," Don agreed, not liking anyone threatening Myra, even indirectly. "So what do we talk about?"

"How about what made you decide to become a cop?" Richie suggested.

"Myra," Don answered, making a fist and pointing to his wife with his thumb. "She thought I should make something instead of wasting it the way I had been. Next thing you know, I'm at the Academy, going through training. How about you, Nick. I've always wondered why a vampire would want to be a cop. Homicide, no less."

"I wanted to give something back for all the misery I had caused over the centuries," Nick answered. "Homicide just sort of happened."

"A police officah is the closes' modahn equivalen' tah knighthood," Elaine added. "Ah've noticed weh don' change much aftah weh'ah brough' across."

"You were a knight?" Schanke laughed.

"The mos' dashin' in the Duchy," Elaine answered. "Nex' tah Phillipe, anayway."

"Well I'll be damned," Schanke replied. "And here I thought that stick up your ass was just from your personality."

Nat bit her lip, trying to keep from laughing. It didn't quite work and she ended up choking instead.

Nick shot her a dirty look. "I thought you were supposed to be on my side," he said.

"I am," Nat answered. "Most of the time. It's just...."

"Yah have tah a'mit, yah do have a stick up yah ass most of the time," Elaine finished for her.

"She does kind of have a point there, ducks," Aria replied.

"Not really," Richie said, coming to Nick's defense. "I mean, Mac's stick is worse usually."

"Well I'm not arguin' with ya on that one, love," Aria agreed. "But ya have to admit, Nick does have his moments. Remember Trevor and all that?"

"Yeah, he helped me get ready for the fight," Richie reminded her. "Did you forget that?"

"Who's Trevor?" Myra asked.

"Just this Immortal who wanted me dead 'cause I offed his mother," Richie answered.

"Noboday impahtan'," Elaine added.

"Nobody important?!" Nick repeated.

"Not in the grand scheme of the Game, no," Aria answered.

"But ... the man had a life, friends, children possibly," Nick objected.

"See what I mean?" Aria said, turning to Schanke.

"You're forgetting, I rode with him for three years," Don answered. "You don't need to tell me."

"You poor thing you," Aria replied. "However did ya manage bein' trapped in a car with him?"

"It wasn't easy, let me tell you," he answered. "No smoking, no food, no drinks. A man could have starved working with him."

"Good for him," Myra replied. "I don't care if you are Immortal, you still need to take better care of yourself."

"It wasn't that bad," Nick said, defending himself. "What about all the garlic breath I had to put up with?"

"Well I couldn't give up all my fun," Schanke countered.

"Mayhap we could find anothah subject of discussion, befoah this gets ovahhea'ed?" Elaine suggested. "Ah find the ideah of mah brothah an' fahmah lovah ahguin' tah beh distressin'."

"Not to mention totally disgusting," Richie replied, deciding to go there for just a moment.

"How about how you and Myra met, Don," Aria said. "That should be a good, safe story."

"I was at my job, selling used cars, when in walked the most gorgeous, sexy, legs up to," Schanke raised his hands up to his eyebrows, "I'd ever seen. So of course I proceeded to pour on the ol' Schanke charm and not only did I sell her car, I got her to go out with me too."

"Of course, the car and the date both blew up on me," Myra added with a wink.

"Yeah, but you had fun kissing all my boo-boos and making them better," he said, leaning over and kissing her.

"Little did I know what trouble that would get me into," Myra laughed.

"Here they go again," Jenny sighed. "Next thing you know, they'll be all over each other."

"Beats having them beat the crap out of each other like some of my foster parents," Richie told her.

"You didn't get adopted?" Schanke asked. "Heard that tended to happen with recent ones. I'm lucky my old man found me and decided to keep me."

"Might have if Emily hadn't died when I was five," Richie answered. "But she was about the only one who probably would have."

"Damn. I hate when that happens," Don answered. "That's why we took in Jenny instead of trying it ourselves. Would have adopted a couple more, but we couldn't afford it."

Richie shrugged. "It's all water under the bridge now," he said. "Besides, I may not have parents, but I've got Ari and Elaine, so that's even better."

"Wait, what do yah mean by tryin' it ahselves," Elaine asked. "Ah thought Immah'als couldn' have children."

"That's always been what I've found," Aria replied. "Otherwise between Adam and Richie here, I'd have me a whole herd."

"By ourselves, no," Don said. "But they have all these newfangled techniques. I figure, it can't hurt, you know?"

"I never really thought of that," Aria replied thoughtfully.

"Might beh wahth lookin' intah," Elaine agreed.

"Do you think it could be possible?" Nat added.

"Won' know until someone tried it," the Southern Belle answered. "Like Don-Dons said, it couldn' haht."

"And finding out if they can or can't can wait," Myra declared. "What I'd like to know is who cooked dinner and can I have the recipe? This is wonderful."

"Yep, 'Laine here's been wonderful for my stomach," Richie replied with a grin.

"Elaine?!" Don repeated, looking at his plate like it held a severed limb. "A vampire cooked this?"

"And did a wonderful job of it too," Aria replied.

"Ah had help, a'cahse," Elaine said. "Richay an' Ari tasted it fah meh an' Ah tasted them tah get the spicin' right."

"Which makes eating even more fun," Richie replied with a wink.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Schanke said, paling.

"What's wrong?" Aria asked.

"You eat food prepared by a vampire?" he pointed out. "How do you know she didn't ... do something to it?"

"Like what? Bleed in it?" Richie replied. "Boy, talk about your hang ups."

"Hey, just because my partner was one doesn't mean I wanna share a souvlaki with one," Schanke answered.

"We don't go in for souvlaki too much," Richie replied. "'Laine likes a good hamburger, though."

"Nice an' raah," Elaine added. "If yah know what Ah mean."

"Grandma turned out to be a junk food junkie," Nat said.

Schanke started looking decidedly green.

"Of course, considering the grief she gives me over my eating habits, who'd've thunk it?" Richie teased.

"Mah habit is why Ah insist on yah ea'in' propah mos' of the time," Elaine told him. "Gahl's got tah protect hah stomah, yah know."

Now the older Immortal was definitely looking green.

"Don, trust me," Nat said, "if there was anything wrong with her food, I wouldn't be eating it."

"Besides, it's the same recipe as the suppah weh shaahed that night. Neah as Ah cn get tah it, anayway." Elaine paused in thought. "Myrah, does it bothah yah when Ah talk abou' yah husband sah familiahlay? Ah know it would some women."

Myra shrugged. "Well, you are the first of his formers I've ever met," she replied. "But the way I look at it is that you're with them and he's with me, so problem solved."

"Fah now, anayway," Elaine smiled at her. "But since Ah've nevah involved mahself in a mahrige without both people's pahmission, that's not somethin' yah have tah worrah abou'."

"Thanks, I think," Myra replied, not quite sure how to take that.

"It's a compliment," Richie assured her. "'Laine's saying Schanke's yours as long as you want him."

"How about as long as I can get him?" Myra replied with a smile towards her husband.

"Same thing," Don shrugged. "As long as you want me, I'm yours. Unless, of course, you decide I'm too young for you and find someone older."

"Nah, I'm looking forward to being a little old lady with my handsome young boy toy," Myra laughed.

"Is anyone else getting nauseous here?" Jenny grumbled. "This is so gross."

"Sorry, Jenny," Nat replied. "I promise to try and rein them in next time."

"Try whacking them with a pillow," Richie suggested. "Works with 'Laine and Ari."

Jenny's face lit up. "Could I try that?"

"You do and you're looking at a week with no TV," Schanke warned.

"Daaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddd," Jenny replied, working herself up to a first class whine.

"Now, Jenny." Myra added her weight in. "We're guests here, show them you know how to behave."

"Aw, man," Jenny pouted.

"Tell yah what, Jennay, beh good now an' Ah'll help yah break out Richay's videah games la'ah," Elaine offered, hoping to keep the peace.

"You got any good ones?" Jenny asked suspiciously.

Richie leaned over conspiratorially. "Are you kidding?" he replied. "Thanks to Ari, I've even got a few that aren't out on the market yet."

Jenny grinned. "Killer."

"Nothing too violent, I hope," Myra said.

"Oh, no, of course not," Richie replied almost a little too innocently. "I do get enough of that in my day to day life, after all."

"Weh save the real blooday stuff fah the bedroom," Elaine told her. "'Cahse, not all of the games ah videah theah."

"Eeeeeeewww," Jenny and Schanke ended up saying at the same time.

"What's the ma'ah, Don-Dons?" the blonde teased. "Yah liked it when Ah bit yah befoah."

"Maybe we oughta change the subject again," Aria suggested. "Or better yet, if'n ya'd like to, Jenny, you're welcome to go into m'study and eat in there in front of m'TV. That way ya don't have to be worry about bein' grossed out or bored stiff."

"Can I really?" Jenny brightened up. "Mom?"

"Well, if Miss Andraven doesn't mind," Myra replied, not really sure. "Just try not to make a mess, okay?"

"Heah, Ah'll fix yah up a tray, sah it'll beh hahdah fah yah tah spill," Elaine offered, getting up. She took Jenny's plate and glass into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later carrying a tray. "Heah yah go."

"Thanks, Miss Andraven, Misses Lambert," Jenny replied as she took the tray.

"Enjoy yahself." Elaine sent the girl on her way as she sat back down. "Now then, wheah wah weh?"

"Trying to gross Don out," Nat teased.

"I was not grossed out," Schanke insisted. "I was just ... playing along with Jenny."

"Uh-huh, right, honey," Myra replied sarcastically.

"I'll have you know, I fought in the Battle of Hastings. And the one before it," he told her. "You do not get grossed out after that."

"The real Battle of Hastings?" Nick asked. "In 1066?"

"You know another one?" his former partner pointed out.

"Just how old are you?" Nick asked.

Nat smacked him in the arm.

"Hey, when you've got it, flaunt it, I always say," Schanke shrugged. "Somewhere between fourteen and fifteen hundred years, near as I can tell. We weren't exactly keeping track in those days."

"Fahteen tah fifteen hundred yeahs?" Elaine slowly repeated.

"Uh-oh," Richie replied, recognizing that look in his lover's eyes. "You may be in trouble, Don."

"He is not," Elaine said, throwing a roll at the redhead. "Ah said Ah won' bothah Don-Dons as lon' as Myrah's alive an' Ah won'. The week aftah, howevah, is anothah stahrah entiahlay."

"Some people do like a little more time in between lovers, Elaine," Aria pointed out.

"They do?" The blonde blinked innocently. "Why?"

Aria sighed, not really sure if Elaine was kidding or not.

"Aria, don't worry about it," Don told her. "Elaine's sexy and all, but she doesn't compare to my Myra. No offense."

"See, Raltra," Aria said to Elaine, "That's what I'm talkin' about."

Elaine looked at Myra. Blonde, hourglass figure and blue eyes. The only thing they didn't share was Myra's height. Well, that and a heartbeat. "Whatevah," she shrugged.

Aria sighed, deciding to give it one more shot. "I don't mean the physical stuff, hon, I'm talkin' the emotion," she replied. "He loves Myra, so anyone else will always be second to her. It takes a lot longer than a week to get over a feelin' like that."

"Sort of like how Ari and I feel about you," Richie added with a smile.

"But jus' because a pahson loves someboday doesn' mean theah physical needs end when the someboday dies," Elaine reminded him. "Jus' ask Duncan."

"'Laine, we are not goin' there," Aria replied.

"Fine. Beh that way," Elaine pouted in return.

"Um, Elaine, sweetie, why don't you go get dessert?" Richie suggested, trying to change the subject.

"A'right, on one condition," she agreed. "Yah help meh with it. Aria, Ah'll need yah help, too."

"Sounds interestin'," Aria replied.

The three disappeared into the kitchen and returned bearing five bowls of vanilla ice cream and a sauce pan. Aria and Richie passed out the ice cream and sat back down. Elaine placed the sauce pan in front of Schanke and handed him a book of matches.

"If yah'd do the honahs," she told him. "Fah some reason, Ah have an avahsion tah thin's that make meh go poof."

Shrugging, Schanke lit the match and dropped it into the sauce pan. Instantly, flames rose up, threatening to scorch the ceiling.

"Ooh, Cherries Jubilee," Nat replied, recognizing the scent and the reaction.

"And it looks like someone put in a tad too much brandy," Myra noted, nodding.

"Ain't no such thing as too much brandy," Aria replied with a laugh.

"Theah is if it sets off the fiah alahm," Elaine said. "But it looks like it's calmin' down."

Sure enough, the flame shrank and a few minutes later, Elaine was able to add the final touch of kirsch liquor. She spooned it over the dishes of ice cream and then handed them all out.

"Looks great, babe," Richie replied as he dug in.

"Then yah elected tah show meh la'ah," Elaine said, sitting down in his lap.

"Works for me," Richie replied with a wink.

"You're not going to ... here, are you?" Schanke asked, a mixture of disbelief and intrigue on his face.

"Nah, it makes Nick nervous," Richie replied.

"An' it gets Nat all hot an' bothahed," Elaine added. "Weh'll go intah the bedroom, don' worrah."

"Why Nat, I never knew you had it in you," Schanke teased.

"I do not!" Nat protested, blushing.

"Yeah, right," Schanke answered. "I bet you have a whole collection of Emily Weiss novels and you re-read them every month. And that's another thing, old partner o'mine.... Is Elaine growling at me?"

"We, uh, we don't mention her around here," Richie explained. "It kinda pisses Elaine off."

"Why?" Myra asked. "Just because she writes the best vampire nov--. Oh."

"It's verrah simple," Elaine explained. "Nicholah should have killed the bitch when he had the chance. Now she's sahrounded by sahcuahritay, an' no one can get close."

"But at least he made her stop, that's better than nothin'," Aria pointed out.

"Sah they made a movay out of the Denied," Elaine reminded her. "Ain' much be'ah."

"Which tanked at the box office 'cause she refused to have anythin' to do with it, so her die-hard fans wouldn't go see it," Aria shot back.

"Funnay how that wahked out...," Elaine remarked.

"See, what Nick did is even better than offin' her 'cause she's ruinin' her own reputation," Aria replied. "Killin' her would have turned her into a legend and kept her work livin' on forever."

"Wait, Elaine said that like there was something more to it than just Emily Weiss hating the movie," Nat said. "I thought Nick made her forget and that was it."

"Elaine, what did you do?" Richie asked.

"She's still alive, ain' she?" the blonde said, turning and looking at him. "But theah's a couple of rumahs that she had a late night visit right befoah changin' hah mind abou' the movay. Wouldn' beh the fahs' time somethin' like that's happened."

"Do we even want to know?" Richie sighed.

"Stoker, right?" Don asked. "Always did think there was something funny about the way Dracula sold like hotcakes and that was it for the guy. What about Poe?"

"One of Screed's 'ratsays' might have bit him, but that was it," Elaine shrugged. "Fellah died of rabays. Nothin' supahnatuahral abou' that."

"I thought Poe died of alcoholism," Richie said.

The blonde shook her head. "They reopened his casefile a few yeahs back, anonymouslay. Classic hydrophobia."

"Is there anybody else you guys have 'visited' over the years?" Schanke asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

"Define 'visited'," Elaine told him. "Jus' knowin' a boday oh 'influencin' him?"

"Let's go with influencin'," Aria suggested. "I don't wanna be discussin' this all night."

"Rasputin and the Romanovs," Nick answered. "LaCroix brought the Monk over, just to see what would happen."

"Oh, that must have been rich," Schanke replied.

Elaine shook her head. "Raspu'in wen' nuts, not that he wasn' alreaday close tah it befoah hand. Lucien couldn' control him, even aftah the blood exchange. Too much bad blood lef' ovah from the Bahbah in his system, if yah ask meh."

"Okay, anybody else confused? Richie asked, sighing.

"Try Jack the Ripper," Nick answered for his sister. "LaCroix couldn't finish him and I didn't when I should have."

"He was a vamp?" Myra asked, surprised.

"He was a mistake," Elaine corrected. "One that mos' of us wah too afraid tah go neah tah cahrec', an' as lon' as no one connected all the killin's with us, they wahn' goin' tah do a thin' abou' it, neithah."

"Who are they?" Schanke asked.

The two vampires looked at each other.

"The Enforcers," Nick answered. "The ones charged with keeping our existence a secret."

"Ah've met them once, when Ah fahst stahted mah studays," Elaine offered, with a shudder. "That was enough."

"Sounds lovely," Schanke replied sarcastically.

"They're a little overzealous, but there's a reason for it," Nick said. "Most of us have had enough encounters with Hunters that we're willing to put up with them."

"From what I've been able to gather, it's sort of like if'n the Watchers had a more active role in keepin' us hidden," Aria said.

"Excep' the Enfahcahs ahn' meddlesome busaybodays the way Watchahs ah," Elaine agreed. "Someone has tah call them in befoah they become involved."

"We're not meddlesome busybodies," Myra said. "That would imply interfering and we don't do that."

"Yeah, right," Elaine snorted. "Remind meh tah introduce yah tah Joe sometime. The man makes intahfeahrin' a lifestyle."

"And used it to help keep us alive a time or two, thank you very much," Aria added.

"She's got ya there, 'Laine," Richie said.

"An' do yah know what would have happened tah him if he hadn'?" Elaine pointed out. "He owes meh a life, sev'ral times ovah."

"Aye, but this was before he knew we knew you," Aria pointed out.

"Yah mean theah was anothah time MacLeod wen' nuts?" The blonde vampire raised her eyebrow.

"I'm not talkin' about that, Elaine," Aria replied. "There's been other times when Joe's passed on information that's helped us. His intention may not have been to help Richie and me out, per say, but it still counts."

"And he did take care of Horton," Richie added. "The second time, anyway."

"Which brin's up anothah point," Elaine said. "Renegade Watchahs. Almos' moah of them than regulah Watchahs, it seems."

"Like vampires who go around offin' other vampires just for tryin' to figure out what makes them tick is any better," Aria countered.

"But that wasn' why they tried tah kill meh," Elaine objected. "They jus' didn' wan' anay chance of what Ah was studayin' tah leak out. Once Ah explained a few thin's, they even helped set meh up a new lab with all the fixin's."

After a brief pause, she continued. "A'cahse, theah is one thin' wheah Watchahs ah be'ah than Enfahcahs," she admitted.

"What?" Myra asked suspiciously.

"Acahdin' tah Almah, they taste be'ah."

"Elaine," Aria admonished.

"What?" Elaine innocently asked.

"So, Richie, you ever fought against an ax before?" Don interrupted.

Richie smiled at the older man gratefully. "Uh, no, actually I haven't," he answered. "It's one of the few bladed weapons Ari's not any good with."

"Oh, sure, rub in m'one weakness," Aria replied, sticking her tongue out at him.

"No catching, we have company," Nat teased.

"But Richay promised," Elaine pouted. "Ah suppose if y'all wan'ed tah head fah the beach, Aria could take caah of it while weh'ah washin' dishes, though."

"Just try not to alert the neighbors," Aria added. "They already wonder about us enough as it is."

"Not a problem." Schanke whipped out his wallet and showed off one of the cards. "Grand Duke, SCA. You guys ought to think about joining. They're a great group, even if they don't have a clue what they're doing."

Richie smacked himself in the forehead. "Oh man, why didn't I think of that?!" he exclaimed. "I had a buddy in high school that belonged to them."

"What's SCA?" Nick asked.

"Society for Creative Anachronisms," Richie answered. "Bunch of people who get together and pretend they're living in the times you grew up in. Killer booze they got at those parties, boy."

"All of it? Includin' the fightin'?" Elaine asked. "Isn' that dangahrous? As I recall, theah wah quite a numbah of acciden', includin' the death of some king."

"Well, they don't use real blades, they fake it," Schanke explained. "But most people already think we're nuts, so using real weapons doesn't really surprise them."

"Sounds like the perfect cover to me," Richie replied. "Shoot, Ari can even dress up in her old gear and nobody would think twice."

"You're just sayin' that 'cause ya want to get me into the old leathers again," Aria teased.

"And you're point would be?" Richie replied with a wink.

"Yah'll have tah remembah tah have a pictah done of yahselves," Elaine said, getting up and removing some of the empty dishes. "Drawin', a'cahse, since a photograph jus' wouldn' beh right."

"Why couldn't you come along?" Richie asked.

"Because unless Ah'm mistaken, mos' SCA even's take place dahrin' the day," she explained. "Right, Don-Dons?"

"Kinda hard to fight in the dark," Schanke agreed apologetically.

"Depends on your surroundin's and your opponent," Aria replied. "But I guess I don't need to go there."

"But yah must," Elaine insisted. "How else ah weh goin' tah get Richay intah stockin's an' a codpiece?"

"What?!" Richie exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, you gotta get in the mood," Schanke agreed. "You wore a codpiece, didn't you, Nick?"

"Most important piece of armor I had," Nick replied.

"The rest of the time, Knight," Don corrected. "I can just see you and Janette slipping your codpiece off for a quickie during the Renaissance."

"Perfectly reasonable behavior for a married couple," Nick answered, shrugging off the question. "Which we were, for most of that period."

Nat's eyebrow raised a little higher. "You were married?"

"Still is, Ah think," Elaine offered. "Ah mean, theah was no divahce, jus' an unofficial sepahration. A'cahse, the mahriage wasn' exac'lay official eithah, Ah believe."

Nat's eyebrow went a little higher. "Oh really now?"

"Well, it wasn't like we could just grab a priest and make him marry us," Nick answered. "There were banns to be posted, that kind of thing. We found a newly married peasant couple and sort of ... took their place on the honeymoon."

"Uh-huh," Nat replied.

"'Tis true," Elaine said, coming to Nick's defense. "Jenette tol' us all abou' it. 'Twas Alyssa that he mahrayed befoah the priest."

"Well, now," Schanke replied. "I'm just learning all kinds of interesting things about you, ol' partner."

"There's not really much to tell about Alyssa," Nick replied. "I ... tried to bring her across on our wedding night."

"Tried being the operative word here, I take it?" Schanke asked.

"Yeah," Nick nodded. "I...."

"Is that whose ghost you saw when we were investigating the Kessell House?" Nat interrupted.

Nick nodded. "That was her."

"You're seeing ghosts now?" Schanke asked, unable to resist teasing his former partner. "So tell me, did she have chains, like Marley, or a sheet like Casper?"

"Don't be knockin' the spirit world there, ducks," Aria replied. "There's more to it than ya think."

"Would I do that?" he asked, the picture of innocence. "Besides, Nick has it coming after all the stuff he's pulled on me. Did he tell you about the time he held up a bus?"

"A bus?" Richie repeated. "Somebody spike your blood that night, Nick?"

Nick glared at him. "It was ... Alexandra," he mumbled. "I thought saw her through the window."

"The one who came with the girls and decked Mac after the Ball?" Richie asked.

"That's hah," Elaine nodded. "Sahrena an' Ah got quite a laugh from Alex' retellin' of that inciden'."

"Serena?" Schanke repeated. "Wait a sec, that babe from the construction site murder, she was one of you, too?"

"How else would she have known Nicholah?" Elaine pointed out. "Yah should have hahd hah in the thah'ays. She spen' the entiah decade complainin' abou' how Neeki couldn' tell the diff'rence between wan'in' a babay an' wan'in' tah become a vampiah."

"A little slow on the uptake were we there, Nickie-boy?" Schanke teased the vampire.

"She told me she knew what I was and that she wanted me to make her immortal," Nick told him. "What was I supposed to think?"

"He does have a point there," Richie said, coming to the elder man's defense. "It does sound an awful lot like she was asking to become a vampire."

"And Nick was just acting out of the goodness of his ... do you guys even have hearts?" Schanke asked. "Anyway, have you seen Serena? She is one hot mama." The Immortal licked his finger, ran it down an imaginary arm and made a sizzling noise.

Myra promptly smacked her husband in the back of the head.

"What? You know I'd never do anything," Schanke said, defensively. "As long as you live, I'm yours completely."

"Right, and that's why you left me and went to play bachelor boys with poor Nick here for two weeks," Myra replied sweetly.

"Call it a mid-life crisis, it happens every century or five," he shrugged. "It's not like I did anything while I was on the loose. Just ask Nick."

"That's right, he didn't," Nick replied. "I wouldn't let him."

"Let?" Schanke repeated. "Sure you 'let' me. You just argued with everything I said or did until you drove me out of your apartment."

"Exactly," Nick said. "All part of my master plan to get you to run back into the arms of the woman I know you love."

Schanke looked at Nat and the two burst out laughing. "Yeah, right, Knight. And here I thought it was just to get out of my cooking."

"That too," Nick laughed. "Any more garlic and my head would have exploded."

"I thought the problem was the eggs," Nat said. "At least that's what Nick said when I called to find out what was happening."

"Those too," Nick agreed.

"Nick ate an egg? I thought vampires couldn't eat solid food," Richie said, confused. "At least, Elaine doesn't."

"Nat's trying to get me to eat solid food as part of my quest to regain my mortality," Nick explained. "That doesn't always mean I keep it down though."

"Nicholah is alsah some six hundred an' sixtay yeahs oldah then meh," Elaine pointed out. "That makes a diff'rence. Plus mos' of us plain ol' don' wan' tah eat solid food, sah weh don' even try. An' Ah'm still not shoah it's good fah Neeki."

"Well it's gotta be better than all that blood," Nat countered. "I still say that's what's keeping him a vampire."

"The blood is what's keepin' Neeki alive an' stoppin' him from killin' people," Elaine corrected. "Get him off the blood an' he'll still beh a vampiah. Jus' a verrah sick vampiah."

"No science!" Richie and Aria exclaimed in unison.

"Spoilsport/Spoilspaht," Nat and Elaine returned.

"I'm beginning to understand why we never throw dinner parties," Richie sighed.

"Then Ah won' invite yah tah the next one, how's that?" Elaine said, kissing the top of his head.

"Nah, next time I'll got eat in the den with Jenny," Richie teased.

"What if Ah tied yah tah the bed an' fed yah with mah fingahs?" she teased back.

"But that's not a party," Richie replied. "That's just plain fun."

Myra rolled her eyes. "Maybe I better go check on Jenny," she said.

"An' Ah need tah get tah wahk cleahrin' the table," Elaine agreed, getting up. "Natalay, why don' yah help meh?"

"Fine, you dry," Nat teased.

"Uh uh." Elaine put Richie's silverware on his plate and picked it up. "Ah wash, yah dry. Yah can' stand the wa'ah as hot as Ah like."

Nat waited until Elaine had headed into the kitchen. "Works every time," she replied with a wink. Then she grabbed a few dishes herself and followed after the blonde.

"So, Richie, you wanna grab your sword and head outside before they decide to draft us, too?" Schanke suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Richie answered. "I hate doing dishes."

"Funny how he doesn't mind dirtyin' 'em though," Aria teased.

"Like Elaine says, I'm a growing boy," Richie said, waggling his eyebrows at her. "Want me to stop eating, you do the cooking."

"Good Lord, they're at it again," Nat commented.

"We never stop," Aria teased as she reached over and smacked Richie in the back of his head for his cooking crack. "Now then, Don, ya wanna go drop him on his blasted, albeit adorable, arse a couple of times before I go and do it for ya?"

"Depends," Don smiled. "If you do it, how much of a chance is there of it turning X-rated?"

"Slim to none after that little crack," Aria replied, flashing Richie a very evil grin.

"You'll forgive me," Richie said confidently as he got up to get their swords. "Elaine won't let us be angry at each other."

"The question is not whether or not I'll forgive ya, love," Aria called after him. "The question is how many times I can beat the bloody hell out of ya before I do."

"Do Ah get tah kiss an' make be'ah each an' ev'ry time yah do?" Elaine asked, making a brief appearance to get more dishes.

"Depends on how long that takes," Aria teased.

"Depends on how badlay yah beat him up," Elaine flirted back, pausing to give Aria a brief kiss.

"Bad enough," Aria replied, flashing a very evil grin Richie's way as he came back into the room.

"You two sealing my fate again?" the redhead said, smiling. "What is it this time, kidnap me and holding me hostage on a deserted island or using me as an archery target?"

"Hmm, archery," Aria replied thoughtfully. "It has been awhile since I got the old bow and arrows out."

"Enough with the kinky stuff, are we going to fight or not?" Schanke interrupted. "Nick, where'd you put my ax?"

"Same place I put your coat, in the hall closet," Nick answered. "Assuming your ax really is in there. I still find it hard to believe that you can hide an ax or a sword in a coat like that."

"Oh yeah? Well believe this!" Don went to the closet and pulled out the wickedest ax any of them had ever seen. "Hell on the shoulder blades, but great for the posture, if you know what I mean."

"Your tailor must have had a bloody field day with that one," Aria replied.

"Get my clothes off the rack," Don corrected, shaking his head. "Credit goes to Myra. She's a wiz with a needle and thread."

"Like I said," Aria replied with a wink.

"It's not hard," Myra said, coming into the room with Jenny in tow. "Little extra fabric here, small dart there, and you've got an invisible pocket."

"Doesn't work very well in leather though," Aria pointed out.

"Don doesn't wear that much leather anymore," Myra shrugged. "I did design one outfit for him, but that was before we got Jenny."

"Moo-ooooom," Jenny replied rolling her eyes.

"It was a biker's outfit, for Pete's sake," Schanke said, exasperated. "One more whine out of you, and you just volunteered for the ax demonstration, young lady."

Jenny crossed her arms over her chest and proceeded to turn in a grade A sulk.

"Jenny," Don warned.

"Oh leave her be," Aria said, coming to the young girl's defense. "We were all sullen teenagers at one point. I know I was the 'cause of at least half m'momma's grey hairs when I was Jenny's age."

"I wasn't. I was too busy getting into trouble," Richie said with a grin on his face.

"An' Ah was too busay helpin' Papa in his hospi'al," Elaine added.

"Well I'm sure Nick was," Aria replied.

"How can you tell?" Jenny asked suspiciously.

Aria shrugged. "Look at him now."

"Nicholah would spend days in his room, refusin' tah come out, usuallay ovah the mos' pathetic of reasons," Elaine informed them. "Ah remembah one time when he had a fit jus' because Papa wouldn' let him play with the new puppays."

"See, what did I tell ya?" Aria said to the younger girl.

"Wait, I thought Elaine was just Nick's vampire sister," Schanke noted. "So how come she knows about Nick growing up?"

"Wanna field that one, ducks?" Aria asked her lover.

"Simple," Elaine shrugged. "Picked it up from Lucien in the blood-link."

"Why do I have this feeling there's more to it than that?" Schanke replied.

"Because you're three thousand years old, and suspicious as hell and are we going outside or what?" Richie answered.

"It's the cop thing," Myra replied. "He's always like that."

"You're both right," Schanke decided. "And lead the way, Kemo Sabe."

Richie led them into the kitchen, out the back door, and down to their own little private stretch of beach.

A tapping on the kitchen window drew their attention back to the house. "Fahgot tah mention," Elaine said, sliding the window open. "Try not tah bleed on the sand. It upsets the neighbahs."

"Wouldn't the tide take care of that?" Myra asked.

"Not if it's above the tide line," Richie answered. "Besides, blood tends to ... affect Elaine and Nick."

"Affect?" Schanke asked. Then he suddenly got it. "You mean it...? Oh man, that is just disgusting!"

"Now you know why I always had to cover my mouth at crime scenes," Nick told him. "Not exactly the reaction you were thinking of, was it?"

"That's just sick, man," Schanke replied.

"He's a vampire, Schanke, he eats blood," Nat reminded him. "So instead of losing his lunch at all those crime scenes like you thought, he was trying not to have lunch."

"But how are they supposed to fight for real without drawing blood?" Jenny pointed out.

"Simple," Don answered. "I don't let Richie hit me and I hold back. This is more teaching than fighting anyway."

Aria and Richie exchanged a glance. "Whatever you say, Schanke," the younger Immortal then replied.

"Now then, the first rule of fighting against an ax is, stay out of its way," Schanke said, taking up an attack position. "Axes are a lot heavier than swords, so they have a lot more momentum. One wrong move and you'll be split in half if you're not careful."

"Of course, if'n your fast enough, devious enough, and your sword is long enough, you can get in a few good blows before that ax even starts to fall," Aria added.

"And you can get some licks in after the ax passes, before he recovers," Schanke agreed.

"Okay, so other that nifty little splitting someone in half with one blow trick, why bother using an ax over a sword?" Richie asked.

"It looks really cool," Schanke answered with a wink.

A short time later, Elaine came down the beach, holding two glasses, and joined the on-lookers. One of the drinks she handed to Nick, the other was for herself. "Sah how's it goin'?" she asked.

"Better than I think Don expected," Nick answered. "Still tasting more sand than I think he likes though."

"But at least Don-Dons is showin' Richay what tah do instead of jus' bea'in' the crap out of him," Elaine noticed.

"Hold it!" Schanke said, interrupting the fight. "Do that in a real fight and you'll lose a leg at the least. Slow down and try it again and I'll correct your moves."

"Why am I having these sudden flashbacks to a certain Scotsman?" Richie groaned as he picked himself up again.

"Because most of us learned by having the crap beat out of us and we like to pass it on," the older Immortal answered. "It's a tradition."

"Right," Richie replied. "Hey, Ari, remind me sometime to get a student so I can finally drop someone on their ass for once."

"Remember/Remembah to/tah sometime get a student so/sah you/ya/yah can/cn finally/fin'lay drop someone on their/theah ass for/fah once," Nat, Aria and Elaine immediately answered.

Richie glared at them. "Okay, that is so not funny."

"Aria, why don' yah take ovah from Richay," Elaine suggested. "Sounds like he needs a break."

"Depends on how our dear Mister Schanke feels about eatin' sand," Aria replied with a wink.

"Come on and try, babe," Don answered, cupping a hand to beckon her over. "You wouldn't be the first woman I've trashed."

Aria flashed him a grin that made all the men shiver. "Darlin', just be thankful I like your wife 'cause a crack like that could make mincemeat outta your sex life," she replied.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before," Schanke countered. "Including from other Andravens."

"Ooh, now you're askin' for it, little man," Aria shot back.

The two circled each other, then charged into the attack.

After watching for several minutes, Elaine wandered over towards Jenny.

"This the fahst time yah evah seen yah fathah figh'in'?" she asked the teen.

"Yeah," Jenny admitted. "How'd ya guess."

"Li'le thin's. Yah haht beat an' the like," Elaine answered. "Yah know, the view's be'ah on the roof."

"Really?" Jenny asked.

"Uh huh," Elaine nodded. "A'cahse, Ah suppose yah too old tah beh int'rested in such thin's."

Jenny shrugged. "Stairs aren't really that big a thing, yeah," she

replied.

"If yah cn teah yah eyes away from mah gahlfriend's backside, take a look back at the house. Yah see anay staahs leadin' tah the roof?" Elaine pointed out.

"I wasn't lookin' at her..." Jenny turned around and spotted Elaine, finally figuring out what the other woman meant. "You mean...? Wicked cool!"

"Ah wouldn' have invi'ed yah if Ah didn' mean it," Elaine assured her. "It does mean bein' cahrahed in mah ahms, though."

Jenny shrugged again. "That's okay, I guess."

"All se'led then. Myra, it is a'right if Ah take Jennay fah a ride?" Elaine asked the physically older woman.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Myra answered, not really paying attention.

"Right," Elaine grinned. "Jennay, put yah ahms aroun' mah neck an' when Ah tell yah, hop."

"Gotcha," Jenny replied as she grabbed on to Elaine's neck.

"Aaaaaaaaaan' hop!" As soon as Jenny's feet left the ground, Elaine scooped her up and took off.

Jenny let out a squeal that was half fear, half excitement. This, however, was most unfortunate because it momentarily distracted her father.

Aria, on the other hand, had no such problem was able to use Schanke's split attention to her advantage. Before he knew what had hit him, she had him down on his ass in the sand, the tip of her sword at his neck. "Now then, ducks, you were sayin' somethin' about Andravens?"

"Yeah, right," Schanke said, pushing the sword away and standing. "That would never have happened if Jenny hadn't made that noise. I was checking to make sure she was okay, and you know it."

"Hey, when you're smaller than most of your opponents, ya gotta take every advantage you can get," Aria replied with a wink.

"Oh yeah, like you wouldn't have done the same thing if that was your daughter that just squealed," the ancient Immortal sneered. "And where'd she go, anyway?"

"Up there," Aria replied, pointing to the roof of their house.

"Hi Dad!" Jenny said, waving.

"Now, do you honestly think I would have attacked if I had suspected in anyway that her life was in danger?" Aria asked.

"Nah, not an Andraven," Schanke admitted. "It's just, how'd sh--."

Before Schanke could finish his sentence, Elaine appeared behind him and scooped him up.

"That ansah yah question?" she said, kissing his nose.

"Holy shi-cago!" Schanke exclaimed.

"Don-Dons, theah ain' nothin' sacred abou' Chicagah," Elaine remarked as she set him down next to Jenny.

"Now you know who Nick kept beating you to all those crime scenes," Nat called up teasingly.

"Yeah, no kidding," Don remarked, looking first down, then out over the Bay. "Hey, Myra, get your butt up here. The view's great."

"You have got to be kidding," Myra replied.

"Allow me," Nick said, scooping her up and taking off.

Aria turned to Richie. "You did finally get those loose shingles fixed, didn't ya?" she asked with a wink.

"After that last time, when I got a splinter?" the redhead returned. "Definitely."

"Do I even want to know?" Nat asked them.

"Elaine was bored," Richie shrugged. "So she decided we should go swimming. The Bay's a little on the cold side, so she found a way to warm me up. Then we headed for the roof and I fell through the skylight."

"I was right, I didn't want to know," Nat sighed.

"You asked," he reminded her.

"I hate to break up the party, but we need to get going," Schanke announced, grabbing the edge of the roof and jumping to the ground. "It's past Jenny's bedtime. School, you know."

"Tell me about it," Richie replied.

"But I don't wanna go," Jenny pouted. "It's neat up here."

"You're welcome to come back and visit any time ya'd like, Jenny," Aria said.

"Really?" the teen asked, perking up.

"Reallay," Elaine assured her. "If it's a'right with yah parents."

"Might be nice to have another Immortal we can trust to look after her for protection's sake if nothing else," Schanke mused.

"Two Immortals, and Elaine," Richie reminded him.

"I couldn't be safer, Dad," Jenny added.

"Well, Myra?" Schanke looked up at his wife. "You're the last vote in."

"Well, I suppose it would be alright," Myra replied. "As long as you promised to behave yourself, Jenny."

"I'll even promise to do my homework," Jenny agreed.

"All se'led then," Elaine declared. "Sah who do Ah cahrah down?"

"Might as well stick with the original arrangement," Nick suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Jenny said, going over to Elaine. "Jump?"

"Jump," Elaine nodded.

Jenny did and a short time later, the two were on the ground.

"Your turn, Myra," Nick said.

"Arms around your neck and jump, like Jenny?" Myra asked.

"Arms around the neck, yes, but you don't need to jump," Nick answered. "Elaine just does that because she's so small."

"Okay." Myra put her arms around Nick's neck. Nick wrap his arms around her waist and flew to the ground.

"See, perfect landing," Nick replied with a grin.

"Perfect would have been landing in Don's arms," Myra corrected, smiling at her husband.

"Here we go again," Jenny sighed.

"No, we're not. We're going home, remember?" Schanke corrected. "And then Myra and I will 'go again'."

"Can I stay here?" Jenny asked. "Please?"

"School night," Myra reminded her. "And your backpack's still at home."

"So?" Jenny replied.

"So it means you're not staying," Schanke said. "Get in the car."

"Next time you'll just have to make sure you bring your books," Aria said, winking at the young girl.

"All right!" Jenny barely managed to keep from doing a happy dance. "See ya, everyone." She then made her round of good-byes, and headed for the car.

"Lovely daughter ya got there, Don," Aria laughed. "'Twas truly a pleasure meetin' all of ya."

"Yeah, it's been great," Schanke agreed. "Nice to know there's a couple of Immortals who aren't after my head."

"There's probably more of us than you'd think," Richie replied.

"Yeah, but on the whole, I'd rather not chance it," Don replied, shaking Richie's hand. "At least not with Myra and Jenny around."

"Well let's just say you can trust our friends," Aria said. "After all, if they ever did do anything to any of you, they'd have to answer to me."

"I'd rather they answer to you before they get us," Schanke joked. "Hug or shake?"

"Oh what the hell," Aria replied as she went in for a hug.

Don gave her a quick squeeze, then stepped back. After that, it was Nick and Nat's turn, who got a shake and a hug, respectively, and instructions to write.

Finally Myra turned to Elaine. "Thanks again for dinner, Elaine," she said. "Everything was just perfect."

"Mah pleasuah," Elaine answered, giving the other blonde a hug. "Can Ah bahrah Don-Dons? Jus' fah old time's sake? Ah promise tah keep ah clothin' on."

"As long as you give him back," Myra replied with a wink.

"Don' worrah. Ah have enough tah handle with Richay an' Aria," Elaine assured her. Stepping back, she then eyed Schanke dangerously.

Schanke responded by stepping back a couple of paces of his own.

Elaine zipped around his back and tapped him on the shoulder. As soon as Schanke turned, she latched onto his mouth with her own.

Myra raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

Several seconds later, Elaine released Don-Dons and returned to Aria and Richie.

"How was it?" Richie asked.

"Int'restin'," she answered.

"How so?" Aria replied.

"Ah wan'ed tah see if theah was a diff'rence between kissin' someone as a mah'al an' kissin' someone as a vampiah," Elaine shrugged. "Wasn' that much, it tahns out. Cahse, Ah didn't use anay tongue, sah Ah might have tah go back an' recheck the results some time."

"Just wait until I've been dead about for about a decade or so," Myra replied with a wink.

"Excuse me?" Schanke interrupted. "Mind waiting until I'm not around before you start planning my future?"

"Okay," Aria answered. "Myra will just have to bring Jenny over sometime and we'll plan your future then. How's next Tuesday for you, Myra?"

"Sounds good to me," Myra agreed. "Just make sure Elaine bakes something low-fat, so Jenny won't be the only one able to eat."

"I'm sure we can figure out somethin'," Aria replied.

Myra's answer was interrupted by a loud blast from the Schankes' car.

"Sounds like Jenny's getting restless," Don noted. "Night all."

There was another quick round of hugs and handshakes and then the Schankes headed for their car.

Nick, Nat, Elaine, Aria and Richie waved as they drove away, and then headed back to the house.

"Well, I'd say tonight went off wonderfully," Nat said as she flopped onto the couch.

"It was great seeing Schanke again," Nick agreed. "Although it would have been nice if someone has told me he was still alive," he added, glaring at his sister.

Elaine promptly stuck her tongue out at him.

"Besides, I wouldn't have missed that look on your face when you opened the door for nothing," Nat added.

"You two have been spending way too much time together," Nick pointed out. "Can't you do something constructive instead of tormenting me?"

The two women looked at each other. "Nope."

"I thought tormentin' Nick was constructive," Aria added.

"Keeps 'em from buggin' me at any rate," Richie agreed.

Elaine crossed the room and sat in Richie's lap. "An' heah Ah thought yah liked meh buggin' yah. Oh is that buggahrin'?"

"Nope, that's buggerin'," Richie answered. "That's most definitely buggerin'."

"Yah still haven' let meh taste suppah," Elaine reminded him.

"You're the one who insisted I go spar with Schanke," Richie pointed out.

"Call it tendahrizin' the meat," she remarked. "Get be'ah flavah that way."

"Well this meat doesn't like being tenderized, how 'bout that?" Richie shot back.

"Reallay?" Elaine shifted her weight so she was straddling Richie's legs. "An' heah Ah thought yah liked it when Ah." Starting at Richie's mouth, she slowly kissed him, working her way down his neck.

Suddenly, a pillow flew out of nowhere, hitting them both.

"Stop that!" Nat said. "Or at least take it into the bedroom."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Richie replied with a wink.

"Tah meh, too," Elaine agreed. "How 'bout it, Ari. Feel like joinin' us?"

"Has definite potential," Aria answered.

"You mean you're going to abandon your house guests?" Nick teased. "What happened to Southern hospitality."

"Yah ain' guests. Yah fam'lay," Elaine corrected. "Amuse yahselves."

An odd look crossed Nat's face. "Ooh, that could be fun."

"Oh no, yah don', youn' laday." Elaine got up and walked over to her granddaughter. "Yah know damn well yah not allowed tah go neah Neeki until Ah have great gran'children."

"What about Amy?" Nat countered.

"Still a gahl," Elaine reminded her. "Anaythin' could happen befoah she grows up an' then it'd beh yah responsibilitay alone."

"But you told us to amuses ourselves," Nat pointed out. "And besides, who says I even want kids?"

"Ah said amuse yahselves, not kill yahselves," Elaine countered. "An' if yah don', then why does yah haht staht bea'in' fastah ev'ry time Ah mention it?"

"How about I just stay down here and keep Nat company?" Aria suggested, trying to change the subject.

"Oh weh could leave Richay tah play host an' go upstaahs ahselves," Elaine offered instead.

"Hey! How did I get bumped out of this?" Richie exclaimed.

"Someboday has tah babaysit these two," Elaine pointed out. "Unless yah have a be'ah ideah?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do," Richie replied.

Elaine returned to stand in front of the redhead. "Yah do?" she challenged.

"Yeah, I do," Richie countered. He then scooped Elaine into his arms and carry her off.

Looking over Richie's shoulder, Elaine smiled at the others as the two headed upstairs.

"La'ah!"

THE END