DISCLAIMER: Oh, good heavens, this one's a mess. Without going into too many details, because that would spoil the story, let's just say that the majority of the characters in this are borrowed. No harm, no foul was intended, just a rollickin' good time. Congratulations to anyone who can figure out where everyone's from and what everything refers to.

Special thanks go to Beth Leitman and Dennis Lawrence for betaing this sucker.

As per my usual custom, detail on the song will be found at the end of the story.

Girls' Night Out

It started out innocently enough. Duncan and Amanda were visiting, as were Nick and Nat. It took a bit of work, especially since Elaine refused to let Nick sleep in the same bed as her granddaughter, but Elaine, Richie and Aria did manage to find room for everyone.

Much to Elaine's disgust, Nick and Duncan hit it right off. There was just something about that guilt-ridden, brooding angst factor that drew the two men together, to the annoyance of the others. Nick and Duncan had a great time discussing their pasts and going over how unfair the life of a tragic hero really was, all the while driving everybody else up the wall. Especially Elaine.

So one day after she woke up, in addition to her usual good evening kisses, she kissed Amanda.

Not the quick peck on the cheek she usually gave Nick or Nat. The kiss she gave Amanda was full on the lips and lasted several minutes. The type she usually gave Richie and Aria.

And it was done right in front of Duncan.

"I thought we agreed to keep that a secret," Amanda said, as soon as she could speak.

"Changed mah mind," Elaine told her.

Aria entered the room, took one look at Duncan, and groaned. "Oh Goddess, what'd ya go and do now, 'Laine?" she asked the blonde. "Brother Duncan's either gonna shit a brick or have his head explode."

While Brother Duncan did neither of those things, it was obvious he was having a hard time keeping control of his temper.

"Amanda, would you care to explain?" he ordered through clenched teeth.

"Mac," she squirmed. "It's not what you think."

"Why don' yah tell him the truth, Ora," Elaine suggested. "One of the tenants in a buildin' Ah own was blackmailin' Amanda. Sah with mah help, she broke in an' weh got the tape back. An' Ah'm shoah yah've noticed what a li'le bit of lahcenay will do tah Amanda's libedo," she practically purred.

"Forgive me, Aria, but I'm going to have to kill her," Duncan said slowly. "I promise I'll clean up the blood."

Elaine stood up protectively in front of Amanda. "The only blood spilled around heah will beh yahs," she promised.

Aria let out a long suffering sigh. "You just had to have a house big enough for all our friends and family to stay in, didn't ya?" she asked Richie.

"When did this become my fault?" Richie asked.

"Well, I need somebody to blame and goin' after 'Laine's liable to cause more damage than it's worth," Aria explained.

"Gee, thanks," he answered.

"Help me stave off the bloodshed and I'll make it up to ya later," Aria promised.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he repeated, this time in a better mood. "You kill Mac, I'll find a cross for 'Laine."

""What?!"" Mac and Elaine shrieked at the same time.

"Sounds like a plan," Aria agreed with the redhead, going for her favorite knife.

""You/Yah can't/can' just --"" Mac and Elaine started, then stopped when they realized they were saying the same thing. ""Stop that!""

"Oh, true, it'll probably piss off the club owner, what with that gig you've got later and all, love, but I think he'll get over it eventually," Aria said. "Don't you, Richie?"

"Throw enough money at that guy and he'd forgive just about anything," Richie agreed.

"Aw, Hell!" Elaine remembered. She headed for the stairs, then turned back. "Touch one haah on Manday's head an' Richay 'n' Ari'll have anothah Quickenin'," she promised Mac before leaving.

"All the women in the universe and that's the one you both had to go and fall for," Duncan hissed. "Andravens and their fucking triangles."

"Duncan, how many times do I have to tell you? They're not fuckin' triangles," Aria sighed, exasperated. "You can't bloody well fuck in a triangle. Not without some extra equipment and a decent sense of balance at any rate."

"Depends on how big the triangle is," Nat quipped.

"Well, it works if it's an equilateral," Aria agreed. "But since Richie, Elaine, and I are all different sizes it makes things rather difficult."

"Somehow, I can't see that stopping Elaine," Nick teased.

"Well, the bed's not really big enough and the basement floor's just too cold," Richie admitted. "We could always try moving the furniture, I suppose, but by then the mood's ruined."

"Not tah mention the triangle tends tah leave mahks on the skin," Elaine said, reappearing at the top of the stairs, now dressed in a black chiffon forties-ish ball gown. The dress had a strapless bodice, and a full, calf-length skirt with silvery-white stars cascading down the front to the side. The end of a long, thin scarf was nestled between her breasts, with the rest of it draped over her right shoulder and flowing down her back. The effect was marred only by the red bracelet on her left wrist, which allowed her to move freely from location to location at the Ball.

"I told ya not to tie the strap down so dang tight," Aria teased. "An you look incredible, 'Laine!"

"Thanks," Elaine said, coming down. "Anyone feel like comin' with meh? Ah got foah extrah bracelets."

"Actually, that's not a half bad idea," Richie replied, the little light bulb going off inside his head. "Ari, hon, why don't you grab Amanda and get her out of the house for a bit?"

Catching on quickly, as she was known for doing, Aria winked at him. "Bloody brilliant idea, Richie," she agreed. "C'mon, Nat, you come, too. We'll make a wee bit of a girls' night out of it."

"Sounds great!" Nat said. "I love hearing Grandma sing."

"All se'led then," Elaine decided. "Ari yah get the Cadday?"

"But of course, m'lady," Aria answered. "And maybe we should drag Maggs out of the bushes and bring her along, too."

"If yah insist," Elaine said, half-teasingly.

"Gee, I feel so loved," Maggie replied sarcastically, coming in from the kitchen. "And I told ya, I was only in the bushes 'cause I dropped m'lenscap in there and I've already lost six of 'em. The Watchers Council's gonna quit reimbursin' me for 'em after ten."

"Why don' yah jus' quit the Watchahs then?" Elaine suggested.

"'Cause I like the job," Maggie answered. "Besides, who else is gonna keep your sorry vampire hide outta the chronicles, hmmm?"

"Joe, maybeh?" Elaine suggested.

"Elaine, don't you get along with anyone?" Mac asked, unable to resist.

"A'cahse Ah do," the blonde answered. "Ah get alon' with Neeki an' Nat, an' Aria an' Richay, an' Joe. Oh yes, an' Amanda."

"Time to go!" Aria said, cutting Duncan off before he could respond. "Don't wanna be late, now do ya?" She grabbed Elaine's hand and pulled the blonde towards the garage.

"Tryin' tah get meh alone, huh?" Elaine teased, just loud enough for Mac to hear her as they left.

As soon as the women were gone, Richie let out a deep sigh. Something told him this was going to be a long night.

Aria pulled into the parking space and the five got out.

"Well, isn't this just lovely," Amanda grumbled. "Next time you're going to force me to do some walking, warn me so I won't wear heels."

"Ain' nevah bothahed meh none, an' Ah weah highah heels then yah," Elaine said. "Wan' meh tah carrah yah?"

"It'd draw too much attention, love," Aria pointed out. "Besides, we don't want to muss your lovely dress."

"Afraid of upse'in' Mahcus?" the blonde teased.

The five set out, heading of the Black and White Ball, but hoping to find someone to give them a lift before they had to walk the whole way there.

En route, they were interrupted by a whirring noise and the sudden appearance of what Aria and Maggie recognized as a blue English police box.

"What in the bloody hell is a police box doin' in the middle of San Francisco?" Maggie asked no one in particular.

"Depends on who gets out of it," Elaine answered mysteriously.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" Nat asked her grandmother.

"Isn' theah always?" the blonde smiled.

The door of the police box opened and two people stepped out. One was a smallish, wiry-built man, dressed in brown plaid pants, a tan jacket with a paisley scarf, matching hat and brown wing-tips. The other was a girl, a little older than Aria, dressing in black leggings, a black miniskirt and a black bomber jacket covered in patches. At least the girl was dressed in the right colors.

Elaine zipped around to the other side of the police box and snuck up behind them.

"Is that a bo'le of Nitrah Nine in yah pocket oh ah yah jus' glad tah see meh?" she said.

The girl jumped and turned. "Elaine!" she exclaimed, hugging the blonde. "Where are we?"

"Nineteen ninetay-nine, San Franciscah, the Black 'n' White Ball," Elaine answered. Letting go of the girl, she turned to the companion. "Yah gonnah give meh a hug?"

"I don't think so," he said, glaring at her over his umbrella.

"Still mad at meh? Ah was Hungray. Some idiot had jus' shot meh sev'ral times," she shrugged.

"Funny, he doesn't' feel Immortal," Aria whispered to Amanda.

"You as lost as I am?" Amanda asked.

Aria nodded.

"Good," Amanda replied. "Now I don't feel so bad."

"The Doctah's not Immahtal, he's a Time Lahd," Elaine explained, turning to them. "Ace, heah, is one hundred pahcen' human. Oh, at least, she used tah beh. Ah'm not sah shoah now."

"Like that's supposed to explain everything," Maggie snorted.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the Doctor said, going over to the four. "I am the Doctor, this is Ace and anything else is incidental." He tipped his hat at them.

"You all bloodsuckers like 'er?" Ace asked, joining him.

"Well, ain't you got a wee bit of a mouth on ya?" Aria replied, shooting Elaine a very dirty, yet questioning look. "And not quite, ducks."

"Yes, well, I'm afraid my young friend is somewhat lacking in manners at times," the Doctor said, apologizing for Ace.

"Fah yah infahmation, Ah'm the onlay one of mah kind heah," Elaine quickly said. "Natalay an' Maggay ah mahtal an' Aria an' Amanda ah -- come tah think of it, Ah'd like tah discuss that with yah la'ah, Doctah."

"Oh, so we're just gettin' everythin' out in the open, now, are we?" Aria replied sarcastically. "Next thing yah know, we'll all be discussin' what color undies we're wearin'." She glanced at Amanda and Elaine. "Or lack thereof, as the case may be."

"Have Ah mentioned that the Doctah's from anothah planet?" Elaine added, apologetically

"Remind me again why I wanted to come visit you people?" Amanda asked.

Aria let out a long suffering sigh. "We're just off to a bloody whacked start tonight, aren't we?" she asked.

"I thought we were here for a party," Ace complained. "Why don't we get there and sort everything out later?"

"An excellent suggestion," the Doctor agreed. "Ladies?" He motioned them forward.

Aria shrugged and restarted the trek toward the Ball.

With the added members of the party, getting inside turned out to be a problem.

"I'm sure I have them here some place," the Doctor said, going through his pockets.

The pile of items he pulled out grew rapidly. A cricket ball, a cheap plastic recorder, a kitten, one ring to bind them, a yo-yo, a bag of jelly babies, a teapot, coins, a get out of jail free card, a notebook and pen, a wallet containing identification for something called UNIT, a squeeze horn, a dog whistle, a book titled An Unearthly Child, and a metal trinket on a chain were all soon being held by the women.

"Why don' yah let meh handle this," Elaine suggested. Handing her stash back to the Doctor, she quickly located a couple and went over to them.

"Yah don' reallay wan' tah go tah the Ball, do yah?" she asked, after catching their eyes. "In fact, yah both look like yah'd much rathah head fah a hotel an' spend the night makin' love."

The couple looked at each other.

"Could we?" the woman asked.

"Why not!" the man decided. "We'll make it a second honeymoon. We need it after the baby."

The woman smiled and passionately kissed her husband. "I love you, Paul," she told him.

"That mean yah won' beh needin' yah bracelets?" Elaine interrupted. "A couple friends of mine jus' blew intah town an' Ah'd hate tah see them go tah waste."

"Sure," the man said, taking off his and his wife's bracelets and handing them to Elaine.

"Thanks," Elaine smiled. "Enjoy yahselves."

Hand in hand, the two ran off, looking very much like a couple of teenagers in love.

"Piece of cake," Elaine said, returning to the group and handing the bracelets to the Doctor and Ace.

"You've such a way with people, Raltra," Aria laughed as they headed into the Ball.

"When she isn't eating them," the Doctor grumbled.

Aria shrugged. "Ida know, sometimes bein' her lunch has its moments," she teased, winking at Elaine.

"Get outta town," Ace said. "Wouldn't that kill you?"

Oops. "Um, well, it's rather complicated," Aria replied. "That's sort of what Elaine wanted to talk to the good doctor here about."

"It's like this. Ah have killed Aria, sev'ral times. Amanda, too," Elaine said, coming up behind Ace and putting her arm around her waist. "They jus' didn' stay dead."

"That is impossible," the Doctor stated.

"Oh, like yah ain' done the same," Elaine teased.

"Not in the same body," he reminded her.

"Ya change bodies when ya die?" Aria asked. "Now there's a bit of a sticky wicket. Do ya stay the same gender or do ya have to go lookin' for a whole new wardrobe every time ya bite the dust?"

"I regenerate," he answered, rolling his Rs. "And I would rather not go into details right now. Ace and I are here to relax."

"Relax, now there's concept," Maggie teased.

"Yah could do it moah of'en if yah didn' have tah keep spyin' on us," Elaine noted.

"I don't spy on you," Maggie corrected. "I spy on Ari. Spyin' on you could get me arrested."

"Spyin' on meh could get yah killed," Elaine reminded her.

"Elaine, will ya quit pickin' on Maggie?!" Aria groaned. "There's nothin' wrong with makin' sure history gets out the right way. It's just the secret tendency of the Watchers that gives me the willies."

"If the hist'ray evah got published. But from what Ah undahstand, it stays locked up in a vault," Elaine said. "Anyway, Ah'll beh seein' yah. Ah've jus' enough time fah a wahm-up befoah Ah'm needed on stage. Doctah, why don' yah 'n' Ace come with meh an' weh cn discuss a few thin'?"

"Ladies." The Doctor tipped his hat again and the three left.

After some more walking, the two mortals and two Immortals managed to find their way to the stage where Elaine was supposed to perform. Amanda immediately spotted an area where someone had set up a bar with some stools so people could sit and drink while listening to the music and they made a bee line right for it.

"Drink, ladies?" the bartender offered.

"Didn't you used to be in Toronto?" Nat asked him. "At the Raven?"

The bartender looked at Nat and nodded. "You're ... Nick's friend?"

"Natalie," A woman provided, coming up to them. "You must be visiting Elaine."

Aria turned around to follow the new voice and then let out a low whistle. "You must be Janette," she said.

"And you must be Aria," Janette replied. "But I do not recognize the other two."

"Um, Janette, this is Amanda and Maggie, friends of Ari and Elaine's," Nat said quickly. "Guys, this is Janette."

"Amanda. Maggie," Janette nodded. "Is Nicholah here, too?"

"We left the guys back at m'house," Aria explained. "We sort of needed to get Elaine and m'brother away from each other, if you know what I mean."

"Would that be Duncan?" Janette asked. "I believe Elaine has mentioned him a time or two. Not in the most positive light."

Aria sighed. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"I told her she should just kill him and be done with it, but apparently, she doesn't want to upset you or Richie," Janette said.

Aria was about to make a very snide comment, but luckily for Janette, Elaine had the perfect timing of arriving on the stage then.

"She's incredible," Maggie breathed several minutes later. "She could almost be professional if it weren't for that one little minor problem."

"What one little minor problem?" Nat asked.

"That, uh, medical condition of hers," Maggie explained nervously.

"Oh, that," Nat shrugged. "Elaine doesn't care about making a name for herself anyway."

"I'm telling you, it's her," a man said, walking by them. "It's Elaine."

The woman with him rolled her eyes. "How could it be, Harry?" she asked. "We left her behind, remember?"

"What, you know Elaine?" Nat interrupted them.

The woman who had spoken let out a deep sigh. "What happened to not drawing attention to ourselves?" she hissed at her young companion.

"Don't worry, we're used to odd coincidences around Elaine," the brunette told them. "When did you meet her?"

"Well, it's, uh, complicated," the young man replied.

"Then the easiest way to uncomplicate it would be to start at the beginning," Janette suggested.

The young woman pinched her oddly wrinkled nose between her thumb and index finger. "No offense, ma'am, but that would definitely not uncomplicate matters.

"I said, start from the beginning," Janette repeated, this time looking the woman directly in the eyes.

"We met Elaine onboard the Starship Voyager," the woman said slowly.

The young man rolled his eyes. "And she yelled at me for just saying her name," he grumbled.

"Continue," Janette ordered, ignoring him. "What year is this?"

"By your calendar, it would be considered the late twenty-fourth century," the woman answered.

"Indeed. And how did you get here?" Janette asked.

"Our shuttle was caught in a spatial and temporal anomaly that catapulted us across space and time."

"And how many of you are there?"

"There are five of us total, but we were sent for supplies while the rest tried to repair our shuttle. They're going to meet us here later."

"Thank you," Janette said. "Now, you do meet Elaine while you are here, you will not mention that you already know her, is that clear?"

"Yes."

The woman shook her head and started. "What did you just do to me?"

"What makes you think Janette did anything?" Nat asked, covering for her. "Maybe you drunk something you shouldn't have?"

The woman turned, giving Nat an icy stare that could almost have given LaCroix the willies. "The pollution level of your water may leave much to be desired, but I sincerely doubt it would affect me like that."

The young man put a hand on her shoulder. "Easy, Commander," he whispered to her. "I just realized something you might find interesting."

"And that would be, Harry?" she asked.

"Well, if that's Elaine up there, then that has to be Nat," Harry pointed to the woman who had just spoken, "and that has to be Aria," he then pointed to the woman with the long braid down her back.

Elaine left the stage, to be replaced by a male quartet and came up to them. "A'cahse that's Aria," she said, giving the warrior a kiss. "She's one of a kind."

"Thank the Goddess for that one, right?" Aria teased. "You were incredible, love, as always."

"Thanks, but Ah'm not done yet. Ah jus' have a shaht break while someone else sin's." She settled in Aria's lap. "Miklos, got anythin' fah a dry throat?"

The bartender nodded and handed her a glass of red wine.

"Thanks," she smiled, taking a sip. "Sah who all's this?"

"Uh, I'm Harry and this is Norian," Harry answered quickly. "And she's right, you really are good."

"Sah people keep tellin 'meh," Elaine shrugged. "An' since Ah wouldn've met Ari if it wahn' fah mah sin'in', Ah ain' complainin'."

"There you guys are!" a male voice called out. "Do you have any idea how long we've been.... What the!?"

"Guys, this is Elaine, Aria, Nat, and, um, friends," Harry said. "And this is Tom, B'Elanna and Seven."

"Incredible," Tom breathed.

"Jenette, get the poah boy a drink," Elaine teased. "He's seein' thin's."

"Tom's just taken one too many blows to the head, haven't you, Tom?" Norian asked pointedly.

Tom shot her a dirty look, but held his tongue all the same.

Elaine laughed, then found herself looking at Seven. "That's an intahrestin' design on yah face," she told her.

"Yeah, it's amazing the things you can do with body decorations these days," Harry quickly covered for the other woman.

"Oh, but it's moah then that," Elaine said, hopping down and going up to Seven. "Jenette, come look. It's actuallay embedded in hah skin."

Janette joined her. "I do believe you're right, cherie. Was done around here?" she asked Seven.

"No, it was not," Seven answered truthfully.

"Pity," Janette said. "Tattoos get so boring after a while."

"Ya could always try piercin's," Aria suggested.

"Been theah, done that," Elaine said. "They nevah las' eithah."

Aria grabbed Elaine's hand and pulled the blonde back to her. "Ya say that like it's a bad thing," she teased, kissing the blonde passionately.

"Depends on what's doin' the piahcin'," Elaine laughed, returning the kiss. "Mm, Ah'm due on stage again. Beh back shahtlay."

Another kiss for Aria and shorter ones to Amanda and Nat, and she was off.

"Nice meeting you all," B'Elanna finally said. She grabbed Tom's hand and pulled the young man forcibly away.

After the strangers had left, Nat stood up and stretched. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I need to find the ladies' room."

"I think I saw one that way," Janette pointed into the crowd.

"Sounds good to me," Maggie said. "Lead on, MacDuff."

"That's Lambert!" Nat laughed as the two left.

Aria and Amanda wandered off while Elaine sang. While they loved her voice, they also wanted to see what was on the rest of the stages. When they returned, the blonde was nowhere to be seen, neither on stage or at Janette's bar. They had just begun to wonder where Elaine had gotten off to, when she came running out of the crowd, as fast as humanly possible towards them.

"AARRRRRrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She ducked behind her lover, peering out over the warrior's shoulder. "She's tryin' tah kill meh!"

The two Immortals looked back the way she had come and found ... a teenage girl. The girl was a petite blonde around Aria's height, only thinner. She was dressed in jeans, a flower-patterned camisole, a leather jacket, and black boots. There was something else, too. The girl was Buzzing.

"Kiss my boyfriend, will ya," the girl said.

Now the two women turned to Elaine.

"Elaine...." Aria started.

"Ah saw an' old friend, sah Ah wen' tah say hi," the blonde explained. "How was Ah supposed tah know his cahren' gahlfriend was the fuckin' Slayah?"

Elaine raised her head, glaring at her opponent. "What's the ma'ah? Afraid if Angelus gets neah a real woman he won' beh intahrested in yah anymoah?"

Out of nowhere, a crossbow appeared in the girl's hands and she fired. Elaine shoved Aria out of the way and took the bolt herself. It landed right where it was aimed, smack dab in the middle of Elaine's chest.

"Dammit, bitch, that haht!" the vampire said as she fell backwards on her ass.

Aria drew her sword, taking a defensive stance in front of her lover. "Try ta kill m'girlfriend, will ya?"

However, their assailant was not reloading her weapon. Instead, she was staring at Elaine. "No poof," she said.

"Yah wan' a poof, Ah'll give yah a poof," Elaine snarled at her. The blonde was just about to attack the girl when a man appeared. He instantly became the focus of her anger. "Tell yah brat it's not polite tah go abou' shoo'in' strangahs, Lobstah Head."

The man sighed. "Buffy, it's not what you think."

"Her name's Buffy?" Amanda whispered to Aria.

"Poor kid," Aria whispered back.

"You. Her. Lips touching. I'd say the conclusion was obvious," Buffy said.

"So we were kissing. Elaine kisses everybody," he told her. "It doesn't mean anything. She'd probably kiss you if you'd let her."

It was apparent that not only didn't Buffy believe him, but she found the idea rather disgusting.

"It's true," Aria agreed with the man as she helped Elaine to her feel. "'Laine likes kissin'. But usually that's all it is, kissin'."

To prove it, Aria pointed to a random figure in the crowd. She picked out a young man with dark hair dressed in jeans and a dark sweater. "Raltra, what about him?"

Elaine followed the finger and shook her head. "Li'le on the youn' side. How 'bou' him?"

Elaine's choice was an older man with brown hair and glasses, dressed in a tweed jacket, white shirt, matching tie and vest and neatly pressed trousers.

"He'll do," Aria shrugged.

Going up to the man, Elaine put her arms carefully around his neck and pulled his head down to her level.

The kiss started out stiff, as the man was taken aback the blonde's forwardness. Then he got into it, grabbing her by the rear and lifting her up. Elaine wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him as tightly as she could without shifting the arrow. The two seemed totally oblivious to the outside world and the number of stares they were getting. Finally, they broke apart.

"Not bad," Elaine said, a little out of breath. "Too bad yah ahn' mah type."

She got down and turned to Buffy. "Yah, howevah, ah mos' definitelay mah type. Why don't yah look meh up in a centahray oh sah aftah yah get tiahed of Angel? Now would someboday mind ge'in' this damn ahrah out of meh?"

Aria examined the wound. "Hang on, darlin', this shouldn't hurt too bad." She pulled on the bolt, but to her disgust it wouldn't budge.

"Yah migh' wan' tah use yah foot," Elaine suggested.

The warrior did as she said, planting her foot on Elaine's chest to brace herself and yanked.

Elaine grabbed the closest thing to her, which fortunately was Amanda's arm, and stuffed it in her mouth to keep from screaming.

"How's that?" Aria asked.

"Much be'ah." Elaine gave the warrior a kiss in thanks.

The man Elaine had kissed shook himself awake as the last of the smoke finished coming out of his ears. "I do say this field trip you suggested, Angel, has been quite interesting," he said.

"Great, even Tweed-Man gets more action than I do," the younger man next to him sighed.

"Not from what I saw between you and Cordy on the drive up, Xander," Buffy teased.

"Ha, ha," Xander replied sarcastically.

"What did she mean by 'her type'," another girl, this one with straight red hair asked. "I mean, she is a vampire, right? That's why Buffy went after her. So why did she say Giles wasn't her type and Buffy was? Oh." Blushing, she stepped back as she realized one possible implication of what she just said.

"Relax, kid. If gendah was all Ah caaahed abou', Ah'd beh moah intahrested in yah then hah, cuz yah cu'ah by a lon' shot," Elaine told her. "But what Ah was refahrin' tah was Buffay's Immahtalitay."

"Immortality?" the group all asked at once.

Aria tugged on her braid, trying to figure out the best way to explain things. "Did you die recently, Buffy?" she asked.

Buffy nodded. "I got attacked by a vampire and then drowned about a year ago," she answered. "But Xander and Angel were able to revive me with CPR."

"No, they didn't, darlin'," Aria replied, shaking her head. "You did die, only you didn't stay dead 'cause you're Immortal, just like me and Amanda here. Didn't you feel a buzz or somethin' when you got near us?"

"I felt something," Buffy admitted. "But I thought it had something to do with her being a vampire."

Aria was about to answer, but was cut off by Maggie's arrival.

"Rupert?" she asked. "Rupert Giles, is that really you?"

"Maggie Sullivan, good to see you again," Giles answered.

Maggie grinned as she hugged him. "As I live and breathe," she laughed. "Ain't this a small world? What are you doing here?"

Giles hugged her back stiffly, embarrassed at the public display. "Buffy's friend Willow's boyfriend Oz is up here playing with his band and Angel decided it might be good for all of us to come as well," he explained. "And you?"

"Ari moved here so here I am," Maggie answered. She turned to look at Buffy. "This your slayer?"

"Excuse me!" Buffy interrupted. "What's the stitch, huh?"

"Okay, that sounded like English," Aria said, suddenly feeling her age.

"Rupert's a Watcher," Maggie said as if that explained everything.

Aria rolled her eyes. "Details, Mags, details."

"Picky, picky," Maggie replied. "Rupert was a researcher when I was at the Academy. Only instead of Watching Immortals, he's from the branch that watches vampire slayers. That's why he doesn't have the tattoo. His branch is supposed to make themselves known to their charges, at least after they get called at any rate, so they don't need a secret way of identifying each other. Immortal Watchers are the ones who are supposed to hide."

"Well, someboday get this fellah a tattoo," Elaine said, "'cuz he's got himself an Immahtah tah Watch now." An idea suddenly hit the blonde and the look she gave the Slayer was enough to send shivers down everyone's spines. "Oh maybeh not. Aftah all, it would beh real easay fah someone tah take hah head right now. Ari, Manday, how would eithah of yah feel abou' a Quickenin'?"

"'Laine, I am not gonna kill a wee girl just because you made the mistake of kissin' her boyfriend," Aria sighed.

"Wee girl?" Buffy snapped. "I'll show you wee." She dropped the crossbow and moved to throw a punch at the English woman.

Aria snapped out and grabbed Buffy's fist without even blinking. "I'm tryin' to save your life, kid," she said. "Now be polite before I'm forced to teach ya some manners." She gave a gentle shove, letting go of Buffy and causing the girl to fall flat on her ass.

"How?" Buffy stammered.

"Three hundred and seventy three years, ya learn a thing or two," Aria shrugged. "Promise to play nice and I might throw a few tricks your way."

"Play nice?" Buffy repeated as she stood up.

"Quit tryin' to off m'girlfriend!" Aria snapped. "Great Mother but you're a bit on the daft side, ain't ya?"

"'Cahse she's daft, she's the damn Slayah," Elaine smerked. "That's why none of them evah las' moah then a few yeahs."

"Elaine, please," Aria shushed her. "You're not makin' this any easier."

"She's a vampire," Buffy said. "That's my job, killing vampires."

"Then why's Angelus still alive?" Elaine snorted. "Oh does it make a diff'rence if weh screw yah?"

"Elaine!" Aria snapped. She turned to Amanda. "I'm just totally losin' control of this situation, aren't I?"

Amanda nodded. "Looks that way, yep."

"I'm not sleeping with Buffy," Angel told Elaine.

"Too youn'?" Elaine almost innocently asked. "That's right, yah always did prefah physicallay matuah women."

"Better that than some old hag," Buffy shot back.

Elaine's eyes turned blood red. That was it, Buffy was dead. Her hand started for her knife.

Noticing the movement out of the corner of her eyes, Aria tried to come up with something to distract the blonde. It was doubtful kissing would work this time, so --

"So why didn't you tell us about the Slayer?" Aria asked.

Elaine opened her mouth and closed it. "Didn' know she was real," she confessed, knife forgotten. "Ah thought she was a myth, jus' like demons. Oh shit." A very horrible though struck her and she turned to Giles for confirmation. "Ah demons real?"

"Yes, quite, quite real," Giles answered. "We've battled quite a few of them ourselves."

"Aw --" Elaine let out a round of swaring that threatened to turn the Black and White Ball into the Black and Blue ball.

"What?" Maggie asked, confused.

"Ah owe Neeki an apology," Elaine answered. "he got possessed by one of the Sons of Belial a few yeahs ago an' Ah tol' him it was jus' the manifestation of a distahbed psychay."

"How could a vampire be possessed by a demon?" Willow asked, also confused. "I thought vampires already were demons."

Angel shrugged. "That's what I've always been, at least until I got my soul back."

"Oh pah-lise," Elaine snorted. "Vampiahism is a genetic mutation caused by a virus. No supahnatuahral explanation requiahed."

"Not in this case," Giles corrected. "The Watchers' Council has proof that Angel and his kind are created when a demon enters their body at the point of death. You and your kind must be an entirely different species of vampire. Incredible."

"And he's off," Xander sighed.

"What kind of proof?" Elaine asked. "Controlled expahriments oh fahst hand accounts?" More of Giles' words registered. "Han' on. Yah dead?!" she asked Angel.

"I prefer the term life impaired, but as far as I can tell, yeah," Angel answered. "Aren't you?"

"Hell no," she answered. She looked around, finally laying eyes on Xander. "Yah, feel like a cheap thrill?" she asked him, taking his hand and putting it on her chest. "Caahful what yah feelin' theah, oh Ah'll rip yah hand off. This migh' take a momen', but Ah think theah's one comin' up."

Xander slowly turned a deep crimson as the blonde vampire forcibly held his hand to her chest.

"Hello! Geez, Xander, what's your damage already?!"

"Oops, Cordy alert," Buffy snickered.

Sure enough, a well-dressed young woman stormed onto the scene. "I go away for five minutes and I catch you feeling up some blonde? How stupid are you anyway?"

Xander opened his mouth to speak, then turned back to Elaine. "That's a heartbeat," he realized.

"Get one ev'ry ten minutes," Elaine boasted.

"Her heart's really beating," Xander said, turning to Giles. "It was only one and it was kind of slow, but it was there."

"A'cahse mah haht beats," Elaine said, releasing his hand. "Ah ain' dead."

"Fascinating," Giles replied. "I'd love to get a chance to study you. Scientifically speaking of course."

"Yah shoah it's jus' scientificallay yah speakin'?" Elaine asked, running her eyes down Giles' body, pausing at a significant point and going back up. "Howevah, the ideah is totallay out of the question. Even if the Enfahcahs would allow it, Ah've alreaday done mah time as a lab rat. Ah might beh willin' tah ahrange fah Simon tah speak tah yah, though, providin' yah willin' tah supplay infahmation of yah own."

"Of course, I'd be more than happy to trade any information on demons or vampires or other creatures of the night with you," Giles answered. "It might prove useful."

"All se'led then," Elaine said. "Yah ah up on yah immunizations, ahn' yah? They won' le' yah intah Brazil without 'em."

"Ah, Brazil you say," Giles stammered. "Well I'm not really sure, um...."

"Looks like Library Dude backed himself into a corner again," Buffy laughed.

"Yah didn' reallay think Ah would le' that kind of infahmation get intah the hands of the Slayah, did yah?" Elaine smoothly asked, eyes narrowing towards Buffy.

"Well I didn't mean I wanted the information for Buffy," Giles answered. "I truly was just interested in it for my own purposes.

"Oh, Ah'm still willin' tah shaah, but the condition now is that yah have tah join us," Elaine offered. "Yah that cuahrious?"

"Join you?" Giles repeated, really not liking the sound of that.

"Yah know, li'le nip on the neck, yah go meet the guahdian of the light, tell hah tah go stuff hahself an' then yah come back with a small ovahbite and a new appreciation of yah fellow man," Elaine clarified. "Weh wouldn' have tah worrah abou' yah blabbin' tah people yah shouldn' then since yah neck would beh on the line as well as ahs. How 'bou' it?"

"Perhaps we should forget about the subject of Giles' potential immortality for now and concentrate on Buffy's current Immortal state?" Aria suggested as the flustered Watcher turned several shades of red and white.

"Oh, that's equallay simple," Elaine said. "Quick flash of the sahd, Buffay loses hah head an' Ah jump whoevah got the Quickenin'."

"We're not killing her, Elaine," Aria repeated.

"Aria, hon, why don't I go talk to Buffy and her little friends while you try and ... distract Elaine?" Amanda suggested. She put an arm around Buffy's shoulders and steered the young woman away.

"Have fun explainin' hah tah Duncan," Elaine smerked as the rest of the gang followed. Then she turned to Aria and put her arms around her neck. "Aria, Ah have a small confession. Remembah when yah took the ahrah out of meh an' Ah said Ah was much be'ah?"

"I remember," Aria replied, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist.

"Ah'm not," the blonde admitted, resting her head on Aria's shoulder. "It still hahts."

"Should we go find a nice, quiet, secluded corner?" Aria suggested.

"Uh uh," Elaine shook her head just enough for Aria to feel it. "Wan' it right heah." She gave the warrior's neck a quick lick with her tongue.

"I'm not dyin' in public, 'Laine," Aria countered. "I don't care how hurt you are. It's bad enough that little twit 'caused all that commotion in the first bloody place."

"Don' have tah die," the blonde purred, scrapping Aria's neck with a fang and lapping up the blood. "Jus' move in time tah the music an' no one'll suspec' a thin'."

Aria let out a tiny little moan at the contact. "That has definite possibilities," she agreed as they swayed.

Meanwhile, Nat had spotted a familiar figure and went over to her.

"Myra? Myra Schanke?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, you must have the wrong pers--" The figure turned. "Nat? Natalie Lambert? It's so nice to see you!" The woman hugged Nat.

"Myra!" Nat repeated. "So what are you doing in San Francisco?"

"Jenny and I moved here after Don's death," Myra answered. "You?"

"Nick and I are visiting relatives. C'mon, I'll introduce you."

Nat led Myra over to where Elaine and Aria were slow dancing.

"Hey you two, save it for when we get home," she said. "I want you to meet someone. Myra, this is Elaine Lambert and Aria Andraven."

Elaine noticed how the woman's eyes widened at Aria's name. Interesting.

"Elaine, Aria," Nat continued. "I'd like you to meet Myra Schanke."

This was Myra Schanke? She was nothing like Elaine had imagined her. Somehow, she had gotten the impression Myra was a short, dumpy woman with a round face and short, curly brown hair. Instead, Myra was statuesque, blonde and with a figure to die for. Rather like a Valkerie.

"It's a pleasuah tah make yah acquaintance. Nicholah's spoken abou' yah of'en an' with great affection." Elaine shook Myra's hand and turned it over, revealing a small blue tattoo on Myra's wrist. Ah that explained it. "Ah believe yah know a deah friend of mine, Joe Dawson. He runs a Blues bah up in Seacouvah."

"Actually, I don't," Myra told her. "But I have heard of him. His name comes up quite a lot in certain circles."

"Ah cn imagine," the smaller blonde smiled.

Aria tensed. Elaine looked at her, made a few motions with her fingers and Aria nodded.

A man with a receding hairline walked up to them. "Yo, Myra. I talked to the band leader of the Starlights and as soon as the singer gets back, they'll play Stardust for us. Seems she disappeared with her girlfriend or something. Hi, Nat."

Remembering he was supposed to be dead, the man froze. "Uh, Nat, I can explain...."

"Let me guess," she cut him off. "You're Immortal."

"You know?" he asked, surprised.

"Schanke, you would not believe the things I've learned since you supposedly died in that plane crash," Nat told him. "Let me introduce you to some friends. Don, this is El--"

"Don Dons?" Elaine interrupted.

Schanke stared at the blonde. She looked familiar, but he couldn't quite place her. Not in this century, anyway. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

"Try thinkin' back to the eighteen eightays," she suggested. "It was the Marrah Widah Casinah an' Ah was weahrin' a crimson ev'nin' gown when Ah picked yah up an' considrahblay less la'ah."

"Elaine?" he remembered. It was. It was her. Oh God.

"In the flesh," she answered. "This is ... awkwahd, isn' it?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "How?"

"Lon' stahrah," she said. "Remind meh tah tell yah sometime, this isn' the place fah it."

"You know each other?" Nat asked.

"Intimatelay." Elaine smiled at the memory. Don Dons was one of the more pleasant recollections of the time. He bathed. "Yah remembah meh tellin' yah abou' the extra-mahi'al even's that took place in the secon' half of mah marriage, Nat? Don Dons was one of them."

"I thought you said all your old lovers were dead," Aria remarked, tired of being left out.

"Ah thought they wah," Elaine confessed. "Ah'm sahrah, ya'll haven' been introduced yet. Don Dons, this is Aria Andraven, one of mah cahren' lovahs."

"One of your lovers?" Myra asked.

Elaine shrugged. "Reese lef' meh with some bad habits. Ari, this is -- Don Dons, Ah'm afraid Ah don' know yah las' name."

"Why don't we keep using Schanke, since that's how Nat knows me," Don Dons suggested.

"That's funnay. Mah brothah's old pahtnah was named...."

Nat waited while Elaine put the pieces together. Don ... Schanke ... Myra ... Nat knows them....

"Yah Neeki's pahtnah?!"

"You're Knight's sister!? I bopped Knight's sister?!" Schanke pounded his chest, absolutely sure he was having a heart attack. "Nick's going to kill me! Or the Nightcrawler," he realized. "Do you know the Nightcrawler?"

"He's saht of a ... fathah figah tah me," Elaine nodded. She looped her arm around his elbow, ignoring the looks they were getting from Myra, before continuing. "Don Dons, don' worrah abou it. Weh jus' won' tell Neeki when yah 'n' Myrah come ovah fah suppah Monday. Yah ah comin' ovah fah suppah Monday night, right?"

Myra and Schanke looked at each other. "We're not doing anything," Myra noted.

"All se'led then," Elaine decided. "Ari, Ah'll let yah wahk out the details. An' beh shoah tah brin' Jennay. Ah know it's a school night, but Neeki will jus' love seein' hah an' Ah promise weh won' keep y'all up too late. Now, if y'all excuse meh, Ah have tah go back tah wahk. Ah heah someboday wan's meh tah sin' 'Stahdust'."

The blonde kissed Aria on the lips, Nat on the cheek, and, out of impulse, added Don Dons and Myra to the list. Then she disappeared into the crowd.

"Incorrigible as hell, but I love her anyway," Aria laughed.

"With the way you two keep carrying on, you better," Nat teased.

"So, you're the famous Aria Andraven, huh?" Don asked nervously, turning to Aria.

"Relax, Don Dons," Aria replied. "Your head's safe. You're a friend of Elaine's and Nat's and Nick's. Plus, from the way Nick talked ya up, ya sound like a real stand up guy. I may have a wee bit of a reputation, but I ain't no bloody headhunter. Of course, if'n ya don' show up for dinner Monday night, I may have to change m'opinion of ya relative safety."

"In that case, we will definitely be there," Don grinned.

"Natalie Lambert?" a voice interrupted.

Everyone turned to see two figures walking out of the crowd. One was a tall, lanky man with dark hair and a somber air about him. The other was female with red hair and a slightly lighter, but still somber air surrounded her. It had been the woman who had spoken.

"Dana ... Scully, isn't it?" Nat asked. "We met at a coroner's convention."

Scully nodded in agreement. "It's nice to see you again," she said. "This is my partner, Fox Mulder."

"Partner?" Nat asked. "Oh wait, that's right, you're in the FBI."

"Right again," Scully answered.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Lambert," Mulder said in greeting. "Scully speaks very highly of you."

"Well, considering the only other woman besides Dana and myself at the convention turned out to be a little too interested in her patients, if you know what I mean, I'm not sure how much of a compliment that is," Nat half-joked. "So what brings to you two to San Francisco?"

"One of Mulder's odd investigations," Scully answered. "Something about a cult of headhunters that runs around cutting each other's heads off with swords."

No one noticed when Aria, Don, Nat and Myra all paled.

"Well, isn't that somethin'," Maggie said, coming up to them. "Too bad ya weren't here last year. San Francisco had its very own vampire." She turned to the blonde. "Hey Myra."

"Maggie," Myra replied in greeting.

"I heard about that," Mulder replied. "Too bad it turned out to be a hoax."

"You interested in vampires?" Nat asked, trying to sound casual.

"Vampires, aliens, government conspiracies, you name it," Scully answered for him. "The weirder it is, the more Mulder likes it."

"Sounds like my family," Nat snorted under her breath.

Mulder perked up. Well, perked up for him anyway. "Did you have a relative who was abducted by aliens too?" he asked.

"Not that I know of," Nat answered. "But sometimes Elaine does make me wonder."

"Someone in your family was abducted by aliens?" Maggie asked.

"My sister was," Mulder answered. "At least I think she was, I'm not really sure anymore."

"Yeah, well, this is all real interesting, but they're playing our song," Schanke interrupted. "Aria, Nat, we'll see you on Monday." He saluted the others, then he and Myra headed off.

"Don," they could hear Myra saying, "I want to talk to you about you and Elaine."

"Myra, it was over a hundred years ago..." he protested.

Anything else said by the two was lost as they disappeared into the crowd.

"A hundred years ago?" Mulder asked, curious.

"Figure of speech," Nat quickly covered. "You know how it is, you reach a certain age and high school feels like centuries away."

"Oh," Mulder replied, disappointed.

Aria looked around wildly suddenly. Stopping, she grinned. "Cory!"

A figure stepped out of the crowd and came towards them. "Dollface!" he cried.

"Krychek!" Mulder and Scully announced in unison.

"You know Cory Raines?" Maggie asked.

Oblivious to the FBI agents' presence, Cory came up and grabbed Aria in a tight bear hug. "Long time no see, kiddo," he laughed. "Who's your friends?"

"Agents Scully and Mulder," Dana answered. "Mulder, look at his arm."

"Looks real enough," Mulder replied after examining the appendage in question.

"Dollface, we really need to start talking about your current choice in company," Cory said. "I mean, okay yeah, the kid does have potential, but these two are just plain weird."

"What? The FBI's favorite two crackpots?" a man just passing by couldn't resist commenting. "Jesus Christ!"

Everybody did a double take as they realized the newcomer was a dead ringer for Cory, only with shorter hair and an obviously fake hand coming out of his jacket.

"Now that's Ratboy," Scully commented.

The two men stepped closer, examining each other.

""Who the hell are you?"" they said in unison. ""Me? Who the hell are you?!"

"Anybody else gettin' a headache?" Aria sighed.

"I can solve that," Mulder said, whipping out a pair of handcuffs. One half he put on Krychek's good arm, the other on himself. "Alex Krychek, you're under arrest."

As Mulder and Scully led Krychek off, Cory shook his head in amazement. "Strange guy," he said. "Rather good looking though." Then he shrugged it off. "So where to now, Dollface?

Aria shrugged. "Amanda's around here somewhere, wanna go say hi?"

"Sounds like a plan," Cory answered. Then he kissed Nat and Maggie's hands. "Ladies." Then he put an arm around Aria's shoulders and they headed off.

Naturally, the four ended up at Janette's bar.

"Check out the babe on stage," Cory commented.

"Already have, many times. And I'd watch what ya be sayin' about m'girlfriend there, love," Aria teased.

"Your girlfriend?" Cory choked. "What happened to the dweeb?"

Aria smacked him in the back of the head. "Richie is not a dweeb and Elaine and I share him," she answered.

"Okay, okay." He raised his hands, giving in. "Sharing, huh? Any chance of me joining you?"

"Cory, love, you've been tryin' to get me in the sack for over fifty years and it hasn't worked yet. So what do you think?" Aria replied. "However, if 'Laine wants to give ya a good romp that's her business."

"It is, huh?" Cory eyed the stage again, this time speculatively. "You and Richie wouldn't mind?"

"I wouldn't," Aria answered. "After all, the reason I never gave in wasn't because I'm not attracted to you, it's because I trust ya less than I can throw ya. And I don't sleep with men I don't trust. So if 'Laine wants to boff ya I can't exactly argue with her reasonin'. However, Richie might not be so keen on it."

They would soon have the opportunity to find out if the blonde did or not, as a few minutes later, Elaine left the stage, going over to them.

"Good news! Ah'm off fah the night," she announced, giving Aria a long kiss before turning to Cory. "Who's this?"

"This is Cory Raines," Aria answered. "Protector of the innocent, entertainer of depressed woman, bank robber extraordinair, and general all around thorn in Duncan's backside. You two should get along right famously."

Cory took Elaine's hand and kissed it. "Charmed, I'm sure."

"Ah'm verrah shoah, if yah dislike MacLeod as much as Ah do," Elaine smiled at him. "Ahn' yah the one who tried tah run Richay ovah. Twice?"

"You guys are never gonna let me live that down, are you?" Cory sighed.

"Ah don' like people who haht mah Richay," the blonde answered. "Howevah, seein' how Shalla adahes yah, Ah'm prepaahed tah fahgive yah. This time."

"I swear I never would have run him over if Amanda had just _told_ me he was Ari's boyfriend," Cory sighed. "Any friend of Dollface's has gotta have some potential." Then he winked at Elaine. "Or in a hell of a lot more in some cases."

"Mah thoughts exactlay," Elaine agreed, smiling seductively.

"Here she goes again," Nat snorted.

"Now you know why I introduced 'em," Aria laughed.

"Ignah hah," Elaine told Cory. "She's still has trouble thinkin' of meh as a thahtay yeah old."

"Cory!" a man said coming up to them. "So this is where you've ... been ... hiding." He stopped, staring at Elaine.

"Matthew?" Fleur asked, also staring. She then switched to a medieval-sounding French.

To everyone's surprise, Matthew answered in the same language.

The two engaged in a rapid conversation that nobody else understood, then Fleur ran up to him and threw herself in his arms. The two spent the next several minutes in a passionate embrace.

"Okay, I'm lost," Cory said.

"Join the club," Aria replied. "Fleur, ya know I love ya, but havin' you around is enough to drive a girl daft."

"Dearest one, forgive me," Fleur said as the couple returned to the group, their arms still wrapped around each other. "This is Sir Matthew of Salisbury, Etienne's best friend. And, after Etienne's death, my lover. Matthew, this is Aria Andraven, my current lover and Natalie Lambert, my ... friend."

"Whoa!" Nat replied, stunned.

"Matty, you ol' dog!" Cory laughed.

"He's the one that told you about Etienne's death?" Aria asked, recognizing the name. "The one you told us about when we found Etienne's scabbard at the museum."

"You found Etienne's scabbard?" Matthew asked.

"Several months ago," Fleur answered. "It was temporarily being housed at the DeYoung before being taken back by its rightful owner."

"Which is one way of putting it," Aria replied.

"So Elaine stole it," the blonde shrugged. "It seemed a good idea at the time."

"You do realize the only reason I'm not arguin' with that logic is the fact that it was yours in the first place, right?" Aria teased. "But it is good to meet you, Matthew. Not only does Fleur here speak very highly of ya but so does m'brother Duncan."

"Yah like Duncan?" Elaine asked, glaring up at him.

"He's alright," Matthew replied. "Has too much of a tendency to stick his nose into matters that don't concern him, but other than that...." His voice trailed off as he realized something. "Did your voice just change?"

The blonde nodded. "I wasn't Immortal," she reminded him. "I had to find another way back. Hence, Elaine."

"Flah's mah Lahd-knows how manay times great gran'mothah," Elaine explained. "Aftah that it's complicated. What Ah wan' tah know is, wheahevah did yah get such a delicious accen'?"

"And how come you didn't tell me you were Immortal?" Fleur added.

"I spent a few decades in Louisiana," Matthew answered. "And the latter part I wasn't sure how to tell you."

"Mmm, we like it," Fleur said, snuggling in his arms. Stretching up, she gave his cheek a kiss. "Darling, please forgive me for this."

Elaine looked across the crowd. "Steven, what the hell ah yah doin' heah?" she asked a man passing nearby.

"Mama 'Laine?" Steven replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Wahkin'," she answered. "Which is moah then Ah cn say fah some people."

"I've got the night off," Steven said. "Besides, it's not like you're gonna be staying there tonight. And you are always the one who keeps saying we need to have more fun in our lives."

"Ah don' caah if Ah'm gonnah beh theah oh not, yah know someone's supposed tah beh mindin' the buildin' at all times," Elaine reminded him. "If yah heah, who's theah?"

"I traded with one of the day guys," Steven answered. "He wanted the day off to go to his daughter's baseball game and I wanted to come here tonight, so we agreed to switch. You know John, he's been there a couple of times right after dusk when I first come on shift."

"Yeah, Ah know Johnnay," Elaine nodded in acceptance. "Enjoyin' yahself?"

"So far it's been a lot of fun," Steven answered. "I've been ... Nicky? Nicky Boyle, is that you?"

"Here we go again," Nat smerked. "At least Elaine hasn't slept with this one."

"Gran'dahtah!" Elaine snapped.

"Granddaughter?" Matthew whispered into the blonde's ear.

"Long story," Fleur whispered back. "'Tis part of the complicated Elaine mentioned."

The man in question turned around and spotted the group. "Steven!" he called, grinning from ear to ear as he came over, followed by his friends.

"Yah gonnah introduce us?" Elaine asked.

"Oops, sorry," Steven answered. "Nick, this is Elaine, an old friend of my family's. Elaine, this is Nick Boyle. We used to hang out together as kids."

"Nice tah meet yah," Elaine said. "This is Matthew ... McCahmick, Ah believe Ah've hahd?, fahmah lovah, Cahray Raines, his student, Aria Andraven, cahren' lovah, Natalay Lambaht, Maggay Sullivan an' Jenette duChahmes, fam'lay of one saht oh anothah."

"Nice to meet you all," Nick laughed. "And these are my friends, Alex Moreau, Kristen Adams and Derek Rayne." He pointed to the young woman and distinguished man coming up behind him.

"Hello, Elaine," the man referred to as Derek said in a heavy Dutch accent. "It's been a long time."

Elaine had been staring at Kristen, but at Derek's voice, she turned and looked at him. "Dahray? Lahd, but yah've grown up."

"Well it has been quite a few years," Derek replied diplomatically.

"Another one?" Nat sighed.

"Natalay, hush," Elaine told her. "Ah may have an active social life, but it doesn' extend tah children."

"Children?" Alex asked. "Derek, what are you two talking about?"

"Before I grew old enough to accompany him, my father had me live with Elaine," Derek explained.

"Well she looks incredible for your old nanny," Alex pointed out. "How old were you then, two?"

"No, it's more than that," Kristen said, sensing something wasn't quite right. "Elaine looks younger than Derek."

Aria sighed. "Can't we run into just one person tonight who doesn't think there's somethin' fishy goin' on with us?"

Giving Matthew a kiss on the cheek, Elaine went over to her. "Ah'm sahrah, Ah had no ideah theah'd beh sah manay people who knew meh heah tonight. Besides, Harray an' Nahrian didn' think theah was anythin' funnay with us," she told her. "Although, if yah wan' fishay, Natalay, take a closah look at Kristen."

Nat did. "My God, it's Urs," she said.

"Who's Urs?" Kristen asked, confused.

"Mah ... fathah's mistress," Elaine answered. "Yah a dead rin'ah fah hah, if yah'll pahdon the expression."

"The resemblance is uncanny," Nat added. "The hair's a little different, but the face is exactly the same."

"Plus this one's alive," Elaine added.

"Well that's sort of a given," Nat pointed out. "But I think I get what you mean."

"Mm-hm," the blonde nodded. "The one Ah'm wondahrin' abou' is Alex. Jenette, yah ge'in' anythin' from hah?"

"There does seem to be something coming from her, oui," Janette agreed.

"Feel what?" Alex asked.

"Dahlin', come ovah heah," Elaine told her.

Alex did and both Elaine and Janette put a hand on her.

"That," Janette said.

Alex jumped. "Oh my God, you're vampires," she whispered in shock.

"Vampire?" Matthew repeated.

"Sorry," Fleur told her former lover. "That's also part of the complicated. But would an Andraven warrior love us as much as Aria does if we were evil?"

"Welcome to m'life, ducks," Aria said to Matthew, sympathizing with his current confusion.

"You're a Daughter of Andraven?" Matthew asked, surprised.

"What? Like the last name didn't give it away, hello," Aria laughed.

"But I thought the Daughters died out centuries ago," Derek pointed out.

Oops. "You're doin' real good at trickin' this outta me tonight, love," Aria sighed at Elaine.

"Ah'll make it up tah yah la'ah how abou' that, Shalla?" Elaine promised her.

"You better," Aria replied.

"What's a Daughter of Andraven?" Kristen asked.

"They were a religious culture of female warriors who worshipped a mother/warrior goddess named Andraven," Derek explained. "Not only were they some of the strongest and most noble warriors in existence, but they were also great scholars and historians. They were mostly known as mercenaries though. Swords for hire who were very particular in who they worked for. They were known for picking only the most noble of employers and for being very honest and holding their oaths and promises to the highest of regards."

"I'm impressed," Aria replied. "Someone's done their homework."

"Yah jus' made a fan fah life, Dahray," Elaine laughed. "Ari hates the way the Andravens have been fahgo'en by hist'ray."

"Does make a gal wonder how he knows it all though," Aria pointed out.

"Would you believe I studied the Andravens in school?" Derek offered.

"Not when yah lyin'," Elaine answered.

"I love it when she does that," Aria laughed.

"Nick, Alex, Kristen and I all work for the Luna Foundation," he tried again.

"Which is?" Nat asked.

"A philanthropic institution that collects artifacts and antiquities," Nick explained.

"I might almost believe that if it wasn't for the small fact that I've got every Andraven artifact in existence," Aria replied. "Wanna try it again?"

"What makes you think it's anything more than that?" Derek smoothly asked.

Losing her patience, Elaine raised her hand and crooked her finger. "Dahrek, come heah."

Once he did, she continued. "Yah can' lie tah meh, yah've nevah been able tah lie tah meh. Now ah yah goin' tah tell meh why yah know abou' the Andravens, oh am Ah goin' tah have tah tahn yah ovah mah knee an' spank yah?"

"I really love it when she does that," Aria laughed.

"We're members of the Legacy," Derek answered.

"Which is?" Elaine prompted.

"A secret society dating back to the sixth century dedicated to collecting knowledge and artifacts, solving paranormal problems and protecting mankind from supernatural evils."

"Bloody hell!" Aria breathed, something in her mind clicking into place. "I remember readin' about them in some of the old histories. The Legacy hired a few sworddancers from time to time in their battles. But I figured ya'll were about as extinct as we were."

"Yah know them?" Elaine asked. "An' yah'd trust them?"

"I don't know 'em personally," Aria answered. "But if the Daughters were willin' to work for 'em they must be on the up and up. As for trustin' 'em..." She looked at them and shrugged. "You know me and trust."

"Yeah, yah don' even trus' meh," Elaine pouted. "But do yah trust them enough fah meh tah le' them live?"

"What do you mean 'let them live'?" Nick interrupted. "And what did you do to Derek?"

"'Laine," Aria replied, ignoring Nick, "you know the only reason I don't trust ya completely is because I know that if push came to shove, ya'd toss m'ass to the wind to save your own gorgeous little hinney. Of course, seein' as how that's part of why I love ya, I can live with it."

"That's good, 'cuz Ah think Richay would beh upset if yah had tah leave," Elaine said, climbing into Aria's lap and kissing her. "But what abou' them?"

Aria shrugged. "Yeah, I guess we can let 'em live. They've been keepin' their secrets for this long, they can probably keep a few more. But apparently you know this Derek better than I do, so you're probably a better judge of it."

"Well, Dahray?" Elaine asked, turning to him. "Now that yah know what Ah am, ah yah goin' tah do anythin' abou' it? Ah do feel the need tah poin' out that Ah was this way when yah wah in mah caah befoah as well as now."

"I don't know what to do," Derek replied, confused. "You're not like any vampire I've ever met and I wouldn't even believe it myself if I wasn't so confident in Alex."

"You can't be serious," Nick said. "You're thinking about letting her go_?"

"I'm more than thinking about it, Nick," Derek answered. "I don't think my father would have left me with her if she were evil."

"As Ah recall, the ideah at the time was fah meh tah protec' Dahrek again' othah creatuahs of the night," Elaine offered trying to be helpful.

"But ... you're a vampire," Alex said.

"An' wheah does it say that jus' because Ah'm a vampiah Ah have tah beh evil?" Elaine countered.

"Believe me, I know evil," Aria replied. "And they --" she pointed to Elaine and Janette, "-- ain't it."

"But," Alex protested. "I almost became one, I should know."

"Nex' thin' yah know she'll beh sayin' weh'ah dead, too," Elaine snorted.

Aria rolled her eyes. "Not another one!" she moaned.

"Aren't you?" Alex asked.

Elaine sighed. Having a feeling Derek wouldn't be believed in this case, she turned to Nick. "Come heah, if yah don' mind. Don' worrah, Ah onlay bite people who wan' meh tah. Tonight, anyway."

Once he did, she took his hand and place it where Xander's hand had been earlier. Only Nick's reaction was a lot different than the teen's was.

"Holy shit!" Nick exclaimed. "Her heart just beat."

"Cahse it did. Ah tol' yah Ah'm not dead," Elaine said. "An' Ah would appreciate it if yah would mind yah tongue when yah in the presence of ladays."

"Are we gonna have to repeat this every time someone figures out you're a vampire tonight, Raltra?" Aria asked. "I mean, I'm sure you're enjoyin' the cheap feels, but this is really startin' to get ridiculous."

"Nick wasn' bad. Xandah needed some wahk, though. An' Ah rathah yah wah the one givin' meh cheap feels any day," Elaine said, giving her another kiss. "An' if yah'd like, Ah'll kill the nex' pahson who finds out. How's that?"

"What was that about her not being evil, Derek?" Nick replied sarcastically.

"When Ah was eleven, mah home town was bahned tah the ground, an' its inhabitan's fahced tah evactuate. Half the population, includin' mos' of the ni--" Elaine paused and looked at Alex. "Excuse meh, African-Amahricans, which the Yanks wah supposedlay theah tah help free, disappeahed. The man responsible fah this is considahed a hero by mos'. By the time Ah was twelve Ah'd seen hundreds of thousands of mah countraymen slaugh'ahed because some fathead of a politician was losin' the backin' of his political pahtay. An' then they had the gall tah say weh stah'ed it. Aftah that, Ah ceased tryin' tah define evil. All Ah do is the same as ev'ry othah predatah."

"And thank you so much for startin' that up," Aria replied sarcastically.

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you're still killing people," Nick said, ignoring the warrior.

"Oh, an' yah ain' done the same?" Elaine snorted.

"'Laine, please," Aria begged. "Can we not get into this tonight? We're here to have a good time, not rewrite history."

"They stah'ed it," the blonde snapped.

"I know they started it, but it's time for you to be the good little Southern belle and rise above it," Aria replied, getting more than a little pissed. "Or do ya want to lose your temper, snap Nick in half like a twig, and end up provin' him right? 'Cause if'n ya do, I ain't cleanin' up after ya this time, love." Then she turned to the Legacy members. "See, she ain't evil, but she can be a royal bitch sometimes. Course, so can I, which is half the fun of our sex life."

"Why would Ah wan' tah kill Nick?" Elaine asked. "Too easay."

"Too easy?!" Nick repeated.

Before Elaine could reply, two figures came out of the crowd, bumping into Aria and Elaine. The Immortal and vampire turned, looking at the intruders. There didn't seem to be anything special about them, just one redhead and one brunette. Yet, for some reason, they gave Elaine and Aria the oddest feeling. But before either of them could ask about it, the redhead giggled and the two ran off.

"Okay, that was just a bloody bit on the odd side," Aria said, shaking her head.

Nick looked like he was about to restart the fight, but Derek put a hand on his young friend's shoulder.

"I will admit that you're nothing like the vampires that accosted Alex," the older man said. "I know for a fact that you really do have a reflection, that you never slept in a coffin, and you did just prove that you're still technically alive. I just don't know why."

"'Twas the punishment for not choosing," Fleur answered.

"Not choosing what?" Nick asked.

"And did your voice just change?" Derek added.

"This is shapin' up to be a long night," Aria sighed.

"When Lucifer lead the rebellion against God, there were three groups of angels, not two," Fleur continued. "Those on Lucifer's side, those who fought for God, and the ones who refused to choose either. When the strife was over, God won. You know what happened to Lucifer's side. For the other angels, the ones who didn't fight, a different fate was in store. We were sent down to earth, to tend to the human population that had recently begun taking over the world. In order to do this, we were given certain abilities, among them greater strength and the ability to fly. Because we had not chosen God, we were forbidden his light. And because we were not of the earth, we had to find a different source of nutrients, one in accordance with our new purpose. Over time, as the mortal population grew, we took certain mortals into our ranks to expand our numbers. And because these mortals did not understand our purpose or our abilities, our reason for being has become corrupted until now only a few remember."

"I tell ya, the more I hang out with vampires, the more I learn," Aria replied.

"Tell meh abou' it," Elaine agreed. "Ah reallay wish she'd give meh a wahnin' befoah sayin' stuff like that. But it would explain a few thin's."

"Quite a few things, actually," Aria replied. "But didn't Diana say her kind are a completely different kind of vampire?"

"They are, and they aren't," Fleur answered. "When Lucifer saw what had become of us, he grew jealous and decided to create his own form of vampire. To that end, he sent one of his minions to corrupt Cain into killing his brother, then taking possession of his soul. I am afraid Elaine will be quite perturbed to learn that Giles was correct."

"Is anybody else getting a headache?" Kristen sighed.

"Tell meh abou' it," Elaine agreed. "Beh glad yah not livin' with hah."

"But who is she?" Derek asked.

"Ah have ... a dissociative identitay disordah, commonlay known as multiple pahsonalitays," Elaine carefully explained. "Flah's one of them, excep' it's complicated by hah alsah bein' a previous life. Plus a few othah thin's, as it tahned out."

"If I have to go through this conversation one more time I think m'head's gonna explode," Aria whispered to Nat.

"Just be glad you're not related to her," Nat whispered back.

"So in other words, you're nuts," Nick translated.

"Yah know, yah makin' it real easay fah meh tah change mah mind abou' not killin' yah," Elaine growled.

"'Laine," Aria warned.

"Nick," Derek said at the same time.

"What?" they both said, then glared at each other.

"Do yah think weh could manage tah get alon', one ve'ahran tah anothah?" Elaine asked, deciding to make peace.

"How did you know I was in the military?" Nick replied.

"Yah beahrin' fah one thin'," she answered. "An' the fac' that Dahray would nevah allow anay othah type of killah in his midst."

"And what makes you think I'm a killer?" Nick asked.

"Ahn' yah?" she countered. "Don' bothah denyin' it. Ah cn tell yah've got blood on yah hands."

"Vampires are good at that," Aria replied.

"So which wars were you in?" Nick asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, dahlin'," Elaine half-laughed. "Wah Between the States, an' Ah still have the flag Gen'ral Lee gave meh, it's one of mah prized possessions, Spanish-Amahrican, Great Wah, Wahld Wah Two, Kahrea an' Viet Nam. Ah skipped Desaht Stahm. Too much sun theah."

"Just don't call the first one the Civil War or she'll rip your ears off," Aria added. "If'n you're lucky."

"Aria...," the blonde warned. "Yah eahs ah detachable, alsah."

"But then you wouldn't have anythin' to nibble on when you're tryin' to get me in the mood," Aria pointed out.

"Think sah?" Elaine took one of Aria's hands and brought it up to her mouth, gently biting the brunette's fingers.

"Yep, I'm pretty sure," Aria lied.

"Reallay, Shalla?" The nibbles continued, up Aria's arm, over her shoulder and onto the warrior's neck.

"Ahem," someone replied, trying to get their attention. They weren't quite sure who though since just about everybody else was beginning to get just a little bit uncomfortable.

"Yah'd think this bein' Sah Franciscah, people'd beh used tah a couple of women havin' a li'le fun," Elaine pouted, sliding off Aria's lap.

"Ix-nay on the ampire-vay," Nat said suddenly, seeing a figure come up to them. "Liam!"

"Well, if it isn't my favorite ME," the man greeted her.

"Well ain't this a switch," Aria replied. "This time it's one Nat knows and we don't."

"Maybeh," Elaine said. "But if it's who Ah think it is, weh wah be'ah off befoah."

"Trouble?" Aria asked.

"Huntah," the blonde answered.

Sure enough, Nat brought the man over. "Guys, this is Liam Neilson. We met on a case a couple of years ago."

"Nice to meet ya," Aria said diplomatically.

"Nice to meet you, too. An' what brings all you young people out here in this mess?" Liam asked.

"Oh, you know us Brits," Maggie replied, "any excuse for a party."

"Oh, aye," he agreed. "But this is a far cry from the other side of the pond. Or Toronto," he added, looking at Nat.

"I'm here visiting family," Nat answered truthfully. "Elaine here is a bit of a ... distant relative and Aria and Maggie here are her friends."

"And I can see why," Liam said, taking Elaine's hand and kissing the back of it. "I hope you'll consider me one of your friends as well."

"That depends," Elaine answered, smiling seductively. "On whethah oh not yah'll give meh the same dispensation yah gave mah brothah."

"And he is?"

"Nick Knight."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Liam said, not missing a beat.

"Not as sahrah as yah goin' tah beh if yah try tah do tah meh what yah did tah poah Bridgette," Elaine answered, just as smoothly.

"Just once I'd like to be able to follow a conversation tonight," Aria sighed.

"Bridgette was a young acquaintance of mine until one of Elaine's ilk got their hands on her," Liam answered.

"Hahdlay mah ilk," Elaine corrected. "Damn Bahbah would have killed any of us jus' as quicklay."

"Great, first the slayer, now this idiot," Aria sighed. "I thought hangin' with Immortals was dangerous, but this is gettin' ridiculous."

"Ain' mah fault weh have a bad reputation," Elaine answered defensively.

"Oh, but I've always liked your bad reputation," Aria teased.

"But Ah'm not talkin' abou' that," the blonde said. "Ah'm talkin' evil vampiahs like the Bahbah oh Divia-bitch." She paused to rub her neck, then looked at Liam. "An' fah the recahd, Ah would nevah hahm a child."

"Some people do need to get that little idea through their heads," Aria replied, looking pointedly at both Nick and Liam.

"That remains to be seen," Liam answered.

"Liam," Nat warned, "you've got no right to judge my great-great-grandmother that way. Her being a vampire doesn't make her evil anymore than your being Irish makes you a drunken terrorist."

"Yeah," Maggie added. "If we judged you by the standards you're holdin' Elaine here to, then with Ari and me bein' English we should be pattin' ya down for bombs and your IRA membership card."

"Your great-great-grandmother?" he repeated. "Aye, now. That puts a whole new light on things."

"A good light, Ah hope," Elaine said.

"It better be or I'm gonna start rethinkin' m'policy on killin' mortals," Aria muttered to herself.

"How 'bou' this? Weh le' ev'ry one else saht this out while weh go off tah play by ahselves?" Elaine suggested.

"Sounds good to me," Aria replied. "I suggested this evenin' to get away from trouble, not to get into more."

The two made their good-byes, with Fleur giving Matthew strict instructions not to leave San Francisco without stopping by for another visit, and left.

"Do you get the feelin' there's something, Ida know, odd about tonight?" Aria asked her lover when they were alone.

"Yah mean aside from the fact that ev'ry five minutes weh bump intah someone from mah past?" Elaine teased.

"Do you have any idea the odds of somethin' like that happenin'?" Aria countered. "The world just ain't that small, Raltra."

"Yah wan' the exac' numbah oh will an estimate beh enough," Elaine laughed. "Too bad Realitay's not heah. Bet she could explain it."

"Who?" Aria asked.

"Friend of Richay's," the blonde answered. "She stayed with us fah a couple of weeks when yah wen' on that bus'ness trip las' time."

"Oh, you mean the goin's durin' m'last business trip that you two won't tell me about?" Aria shot back.

"Yah may not believe this, Shalla, but Ah reallay don' remembah it," Elaine said, taking her lover's hand. "Appahren'lay what happened was bad enough Ah blocked mos' of it out."

"Why do I have this sudden feeling that I should go home and kill Richie?" Aria asked.

::Hey, Weird Girl, lookie. It's Cupcake!::

"It wasn' Richay's fault," Elaine said, trying not to give anything away. "If yah wan' someone tah blame, blame hah ovah theah. Right, Reali'ay?" She pointed to a young couple heading towards them.

The man in the group was dressed in a fairly conservative suit, but the young woman was like nothing Aria had ever seen before. She was dressed head to toe in black with matching black make-up, but her hair was shocking white.

"Hey, it's not my fault your family tree is so twisted," the young woman, apparently the Reality Elaine had addressed, replied, grinning.

"But she might not have shown up without yah magik," Elaine pointed out, teasingly.

"I think you got that backwards, Cupcake," Reality shot back. "I showed up because of her."

"As Ah recall, yah showed up by tryin' tah knock down ah tree," Elaine countered.

"Only because she caused a rip in the fabric of interdimensional space that picked me up and dropped me there," Reality reminded her.

Sighing, Aria turned to the young man who seemed about as lost as she was. "I'm Aria Andraven," she said as she held out her hand.

"Tom Landers," he replied as he shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Yah Tom?" Elaine asked, turning to him. "Realitay, Ah thought yah said Tom was cu'ah then Richay."

"He is," Reality answered defensively. "In a major-league-stick-up-his-butt kind of way."

"Oh gee, thanks," Tom replied sarcastically.

::Oh please, that stick's so far up your ass you're lucky it doesn't pop out your head when you bend over, nimrod.::

"Maybeh weh should introduce Tom tah Duncan, then," Elaine suggested, responding to what both Reality and Truth said.

"We've already met," Tom replied, biting his tongue.

"Yah know the Scot? Aria heah's his sistah," Elaine couldn't resist saying.

"Sister?" Reality repeated. "But you're English."

::Man, does she have an amazing grasp of the obvious or what?::

"Oh, but it gets even be'ah," the blonde added. "Technic'lay, he's hah sistah as well."

Aria rolled her eyes. "For the millionth time, 'Laine, he is not my sister," she replied. "There just is no Andraven word for brother."

::No, I'm pretty sure you got it right the first time, Cupcake.::

"What's an Andraven?" Tom naifly asked.

Sensing that wasn't exactly the smartest thing in any universe for him to say, Reality stepped forward. "We're from another dimension," she explained.

Aria looked at her. "Explains a lot," she answered. "The Daughters of Andraven were a religious culture of warrior women that once spanned the globe. I'm the last surviving member."

"Nice ta meet ya," Reality said. "I'm Reality."

"An' Truth," Elaine added. "Don' fahget Truth."

"I don't know if that's really such a good idea," Reality replied.

::HEY!::

"I really don't think that's a good idea," Tom added.

::Why you little.... Don't forget, one false move and you can kiss any hope of children good-bye, wise-ass.::

"Oh, but Aria must meet Truth," Elaine insisted. "She's an expaht on sahds."

"You carry a sword?" Aria asked, curious.

Sighing, Reality drew her sword. "It's kind of a long story," she answered vaguely.

"Oh, but it's such an intahrestin' one," Elaine said, taking the sword from Reality and handing him hilt-first to Aria.

Aria gave the sword the once over with her warrior's eye. "Hmm, keen edge, good heft," she replied. "Feels like it's balanced for your hand, but that usually happens with a blade of this quality. Craftsmanship is exceptional. All in all this is truly a warrior's blade."

::Thanks, dollface. You ain't so bad yourself.::

"Aria, meet Truth," Elaine introduced them, smiling. "Truth, this is mah Aria."

::Your Aria?:: Truth asked. ::Well, ain't she quite the step up from Monkey Boy? I'm impressed, Cupcake.::

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Your sword talks," she said to the mage. "And he seems to have a bit of an attitude as well."

::A bit of an attitude?:: Truth replied. ::I think I'm being insulted.::

"'Cahse yah don' have a bit of an a'itude," Elaine cooed, running her hand along his blade. "Yah have a great big a'itude. An' Monkay Boy is back at the house, alon' with Kil' Boy an' the Brick."

::Yep, that's where I'd leave 'em, too,:: Truth replied. ::Well, okay, Monkey Boy has his moments but still.::

Aria sighed as she flipped the sword around and handed him back to Reality. "This night just keeps getting stranger and stranger."

"Sounds like the better part of my life these days," Tom agreed.

Reality smacked him in the arm as she reclaimed her blade. Suddenly she stopped for a second and sniffed at the air. "Is it just me or do you guys smell lilacs?" she asked.

Elaine and Aria immediately perked up.

"Sirek!" the blonde squealed.

Sure enough, a few seconds later the gypsy woman in question rounded the corner and came into view. "Hummingbird, Kestrel!" she cheered in greeting as she ran to embrace her friends. "Vhat a most pleasant surprise."

"I didn't know you were here!" Aria said.

"Wheah's Voloki?" Elaine added, in between kisses.

"Unfortunately my falcon had business elsevhere so he could not come vith me this time," Diana explained. "Is Cardinal vith you?"

"Back at the house," the blonde answered. "Fah some reason, Aria thought it a good ideah tah sepahrate meh an' Duncan."

"Well the carpetin' hasn't been Scotchguarded yet and I didn't think I could get the blood stains to come out," Aria replied, grinning.

"Very logical," Diana laughed. "Who are your friends?"

"Removin' bloodstains ain' that hahd, Shalla. Ah know some people who specialize in it," Elaine told Aria before turning back to Diana. "An' this is Tom Landahs, Reali'ay Mahgon an' Truth. Y'all, this heah's Diana Mykos."

"Nice to meet you," Diana replied.

"Boy, you got a funky aura," Reality said.

"Yah know, Reali'ay, befoah yah came, Aria was no'in' how mos' ev'ryone weh've comin' across tonight seems tah beh someone Ah know," Elaine commented. "Yah got anay ideah why that is?"

Reality, momentarily sidetracked, ran a hand through her hair. "Well, I've got two theories on that one," she answered. "One is that the elemental chaos theory has come into play causing a shrinkage in the space-time continuum that's resulted in an over abundance of familiar particles that has created a dynamic paradox that's caused nearly everyone you've ever met in your entire lifetimes to gravitate to this one spot."

"I have absolutely no idea what you just said," Aria noted. "What's your other theory?"

"The Creators are in a really farked up mood and have decided to play Spot-The-Cameo but with a more feasible back story of giving you a past connection to everyone you run into," Reality answered.

"The who?" Elaine asked.

"You know, the Creators," Reality answered. "Those two incredibly talented but royally farked up women that created all of us and write down just about everything we do."

Diana nodded in understanding. "My falcon tell me about them," she said. "He say the Creators only ... borrow him, but one of them give him me so he do not mind."

"That's my Creator," Reality replied. "Hey, no wonder your aura looks familiar! Same thing with Ari. She must have made you, me, Tom, Truth, and Aria. We're practically family!"

"How lovelay," Elaine said dryly, feeling very much left out.

"Oh, but your Creator is our Creator's bestest buddy in the entire universe and they work together all the time," Reality explained. "If it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have Richie and Aria."

"An' ah they the ones responsible fah the hell mah life was befoah Ah met Richay an' Aria?" the blonde pointed out.

"Kinda," Reality replied sheepishly. "The best of us come with our backgrounds in place, they just tweak the details and put 'em on paper."

"Ah see, sah Ah wan'ed tah beh tahned intah Reese's whoah an' all," Elaine translated.

"No," Reality replied. "It's got nothin' to do with what we want. Our pasts just happen to us, same as everybody else's. Just 'cause some people consider us fictional characters doesn't mean we don't exist before the stories start getting written."

"Ah'm fiction?!" Elaine repeated. That was it. Someone was going to die.

"Technically," Reality replied, turning almost as white as her hair.

"I thought you knew that already, Raltra," Aria added. "We're just as fictional as Richie is, we just got worst publicity but better creators."

"Richay's fiction?" Elaine asked, surprised by the notion. Then something else occurred to her. "Is Lucien?"

"'Fraid so, love," Aria answered.

"But...."

::Think of it this way, Cupcake,:: Truth said, trying to help. ::Ever read Heinlein's The Number of the Beast? You know how Gay Deceiver was able to take Zeb and all to Oz and Barstoom? You're in one of those worlds. So even though you're real here, people in other universes think you're fiction. Okay?::

"I guess," Elaine said, running his explanation through his head.

"Supposedly the concept gets easier to grasp the older ya get," Reality added. "I just had a head start being familiar with the theory and all before I found out."

"Somehow, Ah doubt Lucien's age is goin' tah help him deal with the concep' of bein' fiction," the blonde said, smiling. "He still has problems a'mi'in' the possible existence of deitays."

Reality shrugged. "So don't tell him," she replied.

"That ... may not beh an option," Elaine said. "If Ah'm onlay thinkin' abou' it, he'll find out."

"So don't think about," Reality replied.

"Blue elephan's," the blonde shot back. "The moah yah try not tah think of somethin', the moah yah'll think abou' it."

"So don't think about blue elephants then," Reality retorted.

"Try it sometime," Elaine dared her.

"Already did," Reality shot back.

"And?"

"I ended up thinking about green elephants."

Elaine laughed. "Figahs."

"What can I tell ya? I've always been different," Reality replied, grinning. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I promised Tom we could go see a documentary on the life cycle of foot fungus. Catch ya on the up side, guys!"

They all made their good-byes and then Reality and Tom headed off.

"Now, Diana, yah still haven' said what yah doin' heah," Elaine said, turning to the gypsy.

Diana shrugged. "I came to visit my falcon vhen I hear about this festival," she explained. "Festivals vere alvays great for busking so I come to hear music and maybe play a little."

"Reallay, now? Heah anythin' yah like?" Elaine fished for a compliment.

Diana nodded. "I saw this rather ... unusual band of young men. Vhat vas name? Dingoes Ate My Baby? I think, anyvay they vere surprisingly good for such graphic and odd name."

"Yah do, huh? Do yah know that one of the band membahs is involved with the Slayah?" Elaine's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, da, the verevolf," Diana answered. "Charming fellow, good musician. But is not slayer he is involved with, is the vitch. Sweet child, but highstrung though." Finally, she smiled and took Elaine's hands. "Hummingbird, my friend, I arrive late but I manage to catch last two or three songs in your set. You vere incredible, just like last time. Vhat vas it my falcon say about you? Oh, da, voice from the angels in a body from the devil. He mean that in the best possible vay of course."

"A'cahse he does," Elaine smiled. "Ah wouldn' expec' him tah say anythin' else. An' Ah appreciate the complemen'. Ah do try."

"And usually succeed," Aria added.

"Yah prejudiced," the blonde teased. "Well ladays, what do yah say weh all go an' see what kind of trouble weh cn get intah now?"

"Sounds good to me," Aria replied. "It was nice to finally run into someone I know, other than Cory anyway."

"Ain' mah fault Ah'm populah tonight," Elaine said half teasing, half defensively.

"But who said I wanted to share ya?" Aria shot back. "You were supposed to be all mine tonight."

"Ah thought the ideah was tah keep meh from killin' MacLeod," the blonde corrected.

"That too," Aria replied.

A sneeze announced the next visitor.

Aria broke into a wide grin. "Kit!"

"Who?" Elaine and Diana asked.

"Wait. Ah seem tah remembah somethin' abou' Richay an' hahses," Elaine then frowned.

"What's wrong?" Aria asked.

"Nothin'," Elaine assured her. "Ah jus' don' like ge'in' flashbacks when theah not mine. Espec'lay when they'ah incomplete."

"Ah, gotcha," Aria replied. "But don't worry, you'll like Kit. He's a real sweetheart."

"Reallay? Ah though' he was a frien' of Duncan's," Elaine teased.

"Well I wouldn't be holdin' that one against him," Aria laughed.

"True enough," the blonde agreed. "If Ah did that, Ah have tah hold it agains' yah as well." Suddenly, she lashed out, tickling Aria's midsection.

Aria shrieked and immediately retaliated.

"Hey, is this a private party or can anyone join?"

The two women looked at each other, then at the newcomer.

"Diana, wannah help?" Elaine asked.

Diana shrugged. "Vhy not?" she replied.

The three women advanced on the man, who, not being an idiot, backed up. Elaine quickly sped around behind him.

"Boo!"

Kit about jumped out of his skin.

"He jumps nicely," Diana laughed. "I like him."

"And here I thought we were friends, Ari," Kit said rather pointedly to the English woman.

Aria shrugged. "I'll go back to think we're friends once you pay me back the fifty bucks you've owed me since eighteen thirty-seven," she replied.

"Oh, but he's cute, Aria," Elaine protested. "Can Ah keep him?"

Aria grinned. "I don't see any reason why not," she answered. "I'll just let him work off the money he owes me then."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Kit asked.

The three women looked at each other. "Nope," they agreed.

"Come now, Kit, don't ya try and tell me that you're scared of three little ol' females," Aria said.

"Depends on what exactly you want with me," he answered. "And what did blondie mean by keeping me?"

"What do you think we want with ya?" Aria teased.

"I don't know. That's why I'm as--"

Elaine cut him off mid-word by turning his head and latching onto his mouth with her own. Kit's arms flailed at first, but he quickly settled down.

"That give yah an ideah?" she breathed when she finally let him go.

Kit just stammered incoherently.

"Diana, he's speechless," Elaine realized. "Maybeh yah should kiss him as well, jus' tah beh shoah."

Diana blushed and then whispered something into Elaine's ear.

"Sahrah, Sirek, Ah fahgot," Elaine told her. "Maybeh Ah should kiss him again, then?"

"I see nothing vrong vith that," Diana replied.

"I do!" Kit protested. "Do you always kiss people you don't know?"

"Onlay the ones Ah intend tah get tah know be'ah some time," Elaine answered.

"Ya oughta take it as a compliment, Kit," Aria added. "She usually doesn't take this kindly to strangers."

"And this is supposed to make me feel better?" Kit asked, batting a hand away from his rear end. "Stop that!"

Aria winked at him. "We could always make a little wager on it, Kit," she said. "Assumin' yah feel up to it, that is."

"Oh, now, you guys don't play fair! Name your game and the stakes," Kit answered.

"Well, I'd think the stakes are rather obvious there, ducks," Aria replied. "Win and ya can take off and I'll even forget the fifty. Lose, and ya owe me hundred and fifty and Elaine gets to keep ya. For a night at least."

"Fine," the gambler agreed. "What's the game?"

"Siccahs, papah, stone?" Elaine suggested.

"You've got to be kidding," Kit replied.

"We could always flip a coin," Aria said.

"Fine, but we'll use my coin," he agreed, fishing into his pocket. "You call."

Aria grinned wickedly. "Heads."

"No problem." Kit grinned confidently, tossing the coin and catching it. "And the answer is -- Heads! It's heads!"

"I'd like that money in cash if'n ya don't mind," Aria replied.

"But ... but ... but...," Kit stammered. "That coin wasn't supposed to have a head!"

"Yah refahrin' tah this coin?" Elaine said, holding up a double-tailed quarter.

"Kit O'Brady, did you actually try to cheat me?" Aria asked.

"Ve do not take kindly to cheaters," Diana added menacingly.

"Well, er...." Kit backed up, then bumped into Elaine.

"The offah's still open," she whispered into his ear. "Spen' a nigh' of mah choosin' with meh an' Ah won' let them hah' yah. But yah'll still owe Aria the monay."

"There are worse things in life, Kit," Aria pointed out. "One night with a beautiful, and believe me on this one, talented woman or I run m'sword up your arse, your choice."

It didn't take Kit long to come to a decision. "Elaine! Have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?"

"Good choice," Aria replied. "I'd hate to ruin that lovely suit of yours."

"No kidding," Kit agreed. "So, Elaine, you want me now or...."

"Not tonight," the blonde decided. "We'd have tah rush an' Ah don' think eithah one of us would enjoy that. Why don' yah le' meh know wheah yah stayin' an' Ah'll give yah a buzz sometime?"

Kit quickly told them his hotel and room number. "Good evening then, ladies," he said. "I'd like to say it's been fun, but I make it policy to never lie to a beautiful woman unless it's over a poker table."

"Nice ass," Elaine commented as he left. "Ah think Ah'm goin' tah have fun with this one."

Aria shrugged. "He was always fun across the poker table, beyond that I wouldn't know."

"His song seemed good," Diana added. "Interesting, but he still seems like a good man."

"He's Immah'al," Elaine shrugged. "Plus Ah get the feelin' he irritates Duncan no end."

"That's one way of puttin' it," Aria laughed.

Diana grabbed Elaine's wrist and pointed. "Is that vhat I think it is?"

Looking, Elaine laughed maliciously. "Feel like a snack?"

"What's goin' on?" Aria asked.

"Man put something in voman's drink," Diana answered.

"Probablay roofsays," Elaine added.

"Ah," Aria replied. "You two go have fun, I think I'm gonna head back to Janette's booth and see if I can find Nat and Maggie."

"Ah'll catch up with yah theah then." Elaine gave Aria a short kiss, then the two vampires headed off.

Aria wandered back through the crowd until she spotted Nat talking to another woman.

"Aria!" Nat called her over. "This is a friend of mine, Grace Balthezar. She used to help me out at the morgue."

"Pleasure to meet ya," Aria replied. "Any friend of Nat's and all that."

"Nice to meet you, too," Grace smiled back. "How d'you know Nat?"

"Friend of the family," Aria answered.

"Aria's living with Nick's sister," Nat clarified.

"Nick has a sister?" Grace asked. "I didn't know that."

"She ... sort of popped up about a year after you left," Nat explained. "She's around here somewhere. Aria, what happened to her?"

"Oh, well, we ran into a friend of ours and they went off to take care of ... somethin'," Aria answered.

"Again?" Nat asked. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"Not that," Aria answered, rolling her eyes. "Elaine and Diana just caught some guy slippin' a mickey into some poor girl's drink and they went to show him the error of his ways. Really, Natalie, and you say Elaine's obsessed with sex. If'n ya don't mind m'sayin' so, ya probably wouldn't be so worried about her sex life if'n ya'd quit moonin' over that obviously blind and stupid brick of a brother of hers and got a decent love life of your own."

"You've been hanging out with Elaine too much," Nat commented, trying unsuccessfully to fight back a blush.

"See, Nat," Grace replied. "I've been telling her for years she needs to get out of that morgue more often and have a little fun, but she wouldn't listen to me."

"That's because Natalay has the unfahtunate habit of takin' aftah mah side of the fam'lay," Elaine said, coming up to them. She gave Aria a short kiss, then looked around. "Grace?"

Grace nodded. "You must be Elaine," she said. "Aria and Nat here were just telling me about you. I take it Nat's mentioned me before?"

"I think she means me," a slender brunette with pale skin and a French accent next to them said. "Nice to see you, Elaine. Although I didn't expect you to be alive."

Aria, who had been looking around for the past few seconds, grinned as she too recognized the other woman. "Grace? Hi!"

"I thought you said your name was Isabella," Nat's Grace said.

"Oops," Aria and Elaine replied.

"Grace is the name I was born with. Isabella is the name I adopted trying to hide from my ex-husband," Elaine's Grace explained.

"That damn bastahd still alive?" Elaine asked. "Ah knew Ah should've given him tah mah Shuah."

"Actually, if memory serves me, he ain't a problem any longer," Aria answered for Grace. "But who the hell is Shuar?"

"They're one of the indigenous tribes around the Amazon," Elaine's Grace explained. "Commonly known as the headhunting tribe."

"They'ah the ones who shrunk Reese's head," Elaine added. "Nice enough folk, once yah beat the crap out of them a couple of times."

"Why don't I doubt that?" Aria replied. "But if we run into any of them tonight, I'm goin' home."

Elaine and her Grace smiled. "I very much doubt that," Grace said. "Even the men have only been within a few days walking distance of their home village."

"Considerin' the way this night has been so far, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Aria replied.

"That upse'in' yah, Shalla?" Elaine asked, rubbing her lover's back.

Aria sighed. "This whole evein's just get to me," she said. "Ya know I loved seein' Cory and Kit and Diana again and meetin' Matthew and everythin', but this is just gettin' ridiculous."

"Wan' tah go home?" the blonde asked. "It's ge'in' neah enough tah dawn weh ought tah beh headin' back soon anayway."

"Think ya can restrain yourself from offin' m'brother?" Aria replied.

"If he behaves himself," Elaine shrugged.

"Maybe we should go to a hotel instead," Aria said, only half kidding.

"Ah have Kit's room numbah," the blonde teased.

"But I'd miss Richie," Aria replied. "Although Kit does still owe me that hundred and fifty bucks."

"You're forgetting, Amanda and I still have to find a place to sleep," Nat reminded them. "And I don't think either one of us will want to share a room with Kit, whoever he is."

"Good point," Aria replied. "Last time Amanda and Kit crossed paths, they just barely got away without killin' each other. They've made peace, but I don't wanna push m'luck."

"Sah Ah guess weh jus' have tah go home then," Elaine said. "Mah place is bein' fumiga'ed this weekend, othahwise, Ah'd sugges' weh go theah."

"Sounds like a plan then," Nat replied.

"All se'led then. Wheah'd Amanda get off tah?" Elaine asked.

"I have no bloody idea," Aria answered.

"Someone mention my name?" the Immortal thief asked, walking up to them.

"We need to get goin', Amanda," Aria explained."

"Fine by me," Amanda agreed. "This place is just about to get a little to hot for my tastes."

"What did ya do this time?" Aria asked.

"Just keeping my hand in," Amanda answered innocently. "I believe someone was mentioning a certain hundred and fifty bucks they were owed?"

"Amanda, you didn't," Aria replied.

"Did what?" Nat asked, unable to follow the conversation.

"Kit and I just happened to bump into each other," Amanda said "Besides, as long as that horse of his keeps winning, he can afford it."

Aria rolled her eyes. "Can we just go please?" she sighed.

"Shoah thin'," Elaine said. "Nat, yah readay?"

"I suppose," Nat answered. "It is getting kind of late, even for me."

"All se'led then."

Elaine put her arm around Aria's waist and led her off. Amanda, Maggie and Nat followed.

On the way back to the car, a figure stepped out of the crowd, blocking their path. She had wavy blonde hair falling down her back and was dressed in a long, flowing white dress that resembled a nightgown. And her eyes were glowing.

Elaine made a noise halfway between a hiss and a growl. "Someboday get meh a stake."

"I take it you two know each other?" Aria asked.

"Alexandra," Elaine nodded, turning to the others. "Ari, Nat, Amanda, Maggay, whatevah happens, Ah wan' yah tah stay out of it. This is between hah an' meh."

Elaine took a few steps forward. "My, my, my. Look what the cat coughed up. When did yah crawl intah town?"

"Just now," Alexandra answered, also moving closer.

"Well, then, get the hell out," Elaine told her. "This is mah citay!"

"I will," the other blonde said. "Once I finish what I came here for."

"Which is?"

"Nicholas," Alexandra hissed.

"Again?" Elaine scoffed. "Yah alreaday tried tah kill him once an' failed. What makes yah think yah gonnah go anay be'ah this time?"

"I have my reasons. Where is he?"

"Now why should Ah tell yah that?" Elaine asked.

"Because I'll tear you to shreds if you don't," Alexandra threatened.

"No, yah won'," Elaine contradicted her. "Yah won' fah the same reason yah wai'ed until Lucien was othahwise occupayed tah go aftah Neeki. Touch one haah on mah head an' Lucien will hunt yah down like an animal."

"LaCroix," Alexandra spat out the word, "doesn't give a damn about you."

"True enough," Elaine agreed. "But that still doesn' mean he'll allow anyone tah mess with what's his."

"Looks like we're at a stand off, then," Alexandra noted. "So what do we do about it?"

"How 'bou' givin' meh a hug an' a kiss?" Elaine suggested, brightening.

"Gladly." Alexandra closed the gap between them and did as Elaine suggested.

"I'm goin' to kill her," Aria said to no one in particular. "I'm goin' to bloody well kill her and just wash m'hands of the whole bloody thing."

"An' ruin half yah sex life?" Elaine teased. "Ev'ryone, this is Alexandra. She's mah sistah, saht of. Alex, this is Aria, Maggay, an' Amanda. An' Natalay. She's the one who saved ah collective asses from that fevah. She's alsah mah great great gran'daugh'ah."

"Nice to meet you," Aria replied, managing to hide most of the sarcasm from her voice.

"Ari, beh nice. If it wahn' fah Alex, Ah'd still beh holed up in whatevah apah'men' Lucien stuck meh," Elaine admonished.

"It's nice to meet you all," Alex said, smiling at the mortals. "I owe you a great deal, especially Natalie."

"You're welcome, I guess," Nat replied, not really understanding this.

"I thought they all knew," Alexandra said to Elaine.

"They do, abou' meh anayway," Elaine told her. "Natalay, she's mah oldah sistah. Between meh an' Neeki in age."

"Is anybody else getting a headache?" Aria sighed.

"Oh," Elaine said, realizing what her lover was complaining about. "But if it's anay help, Ah'm shoah Alex didn' come heah fah meh. Alex, why did yah come heah?"

"I told you," Alexandra answered. "I'm here to see Nicholas."

"And you want him why?" Nat asked.

"Not to kill him," the blonde assured her. "Mostly to apologize for last time."

"And what did you do last time?" Maggie asked.

"Tried to kill him."

"Oh," Maggie replied.

Alexandra opened her mouth to explain further, but Elaine cut her off.

"Ah don' think weh need tah go intah this right now," she quickly said. "Alex, Neeki's stayin' at mah place. Why don' yah come home with us an' talk tah him theah? Got mah own supplays from Etahnitay."

"Ah-hem," Aria replied.

"A'cahse, weh could go tah mah house on Lombahd, if yah'd prefah, Shalla," Elaine added quietly.

Aria sighed. "I don't bloody care anymore," she said. "Right now, I just wanna go home and forget this bloody farked up night ever happened."

"I'll follow you and meet you at the house," Alexandra offered.

"Thanks," Elaine said, squeezing her hand.

The two kissed, and Alexandra vanished.

Aria wrapped her arm around Elaine's waist as they resumed their walk to the car. "'Laine, hon, it's not that I mind you invitin' your friend over, although Goddess knows where we're gonna put her for the day," she said. "It's just the 'my place' crack. I thought it was our place."

"A'cahse it's ah place," Elaine assured her. "But Alex wouldn' have undahstood that." The blonde paused and added in her little-girl's voice. "Would it have been be'ah if Ah'd said the house?"

Aria thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I think that would be better," she answered, giving her lover a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Okay," Elaine returned the kiss. "Weh go home now?"

"We better," Aria replied, teasing her.

Smiling wickedly, Elaine suddenly scooped Aria up in her arms and took off. "Weh'll meet yah back at the cah," she yelled to the others.

Richie and Nick were beginning to worry about the time when they finally heard the front door being unlocked.

"We're home!" Aria called in a bit of a warning.

"An' weh brough' companay," Elaine added. "Neeki, yah remembah Alexandra? She's fin'lay decided not tah kill yah."

Nick blanched (no mean feat for an already pale vampire). "Hide me."

"Only if we're playing hide and go seek," Alexandra flirted. "I really don't want to kill you. It's him I want!" The blonde streaked up to Duncan, who had just entered the room, and threw him against the far wall.

The Scot was dead before he hit the floor.

"Ah knew Ah had fahgo'en somethin'," Elaine commented.

"Elaine!" Aria snapped.

"What?" the blonde asked innocently. "Yah know Ah try tah think of the time Ah was sep'rated from Richay as li'le as possible."

"But she just killed Duncan!"

"An' he poisoned hah," Elaine shot back. "Ah would've tahn him tah pieces if Ah was hah."

"That comes later," Alexandra pronounced.

"No it doesn't," Aria replied emphatically.

Duncan moaned, and sat up. "What happened."

"Duncan, yah remembah Alex, don' yah?" Elaine asked sweetly. "Yah met in Paris."

Duncan paled. "Oh, right, yeah, hi," he replied.

"Why is he alive?" Alexandra demanded. "He should be dead. I heard him die!"

"You wanna field this one, Elaine?" Aria asked.

"Not pahticulahlay," Elaine answered. "Alex, he didn' stay dead because he's Immah'al."

"He's also m'friend so I'd appreciate ya not killin' him again," Aria added.

"And if I don't?" Alexandra asked.

"Ah'll sic Neeki on yah," Elaine told her.

"Or I could always show ya door," Aria replied when she sensed Alex was rather non-plussed with Elaine's threat. "Sunrise is only, what, half a minute away?"

"Only if Duncan comes with me for breakfasht," Alexandra countered.

"Why don' Ah go fetch a couple bo'led fah Alex, Neeki an' mahself an' weh cn talk it ovah," Elaine suggested. "A'cahse, if Duncan an' Alex wan' tah have a private chat, that's fine. Ah know Amanda's always wan'ed tah try a threesome." She disappeared into the kitchen before anyone had a chance to comment.

"I'm gonna kill her," Aria sighed. "I'm just gonna have to bloody well kill her."

"I'll help," Duncan said, drawing his sword.

"Duncan," Aria hissed.

"Duncan, Duncan, Duncan," Elaine said, re-entering the room. "Haven' yah figuahed it out yet? Weh'll have tah off Shalla fahst befoah weh cn have at it."

Duncan started blustering while turning an interesting shade of red.

Aria sighed. "Richie, love, do me a favor and shoot me the next time I wanna have house guests."

Richie nodded agreed. "Not a problem," he replied. "Not a problem at all."

Nick raised an eyebrow and turned to Nat. "Do I even want to know what happened tonight?" he asked.

"Not much," Nat answered. "Just everyone and her brother showing up to say hi to Elaine." She was about to say more when Elaine caught her eye, motioning for her to watch what she said.

"It was a very long night," Aria added.

"Ah have a date with Kit O'Braday," Elaine chimed in. "Haven' decided when tah make it, yet. Figahed Ah'd wait til Ah was bahed some time."

"KIT!" Duncan yelled.

Aria rolled her eyes. "Oh, ya just had to bring that one up, didn't ya?" she sighed.

"What's wron' with Kit?" Elaine asked. "Ah like him."

"So does Duncan, that's the problem," Aria pointed out.

"Why you little...," Duncan hissed. "And Richie, how the hell can you let her talk like that?"

"Better her telling me about it than behind my back," Richie shrugged. "At least she's not planning on getting me to join in. You're not, are you?" he then asked the blonde.

"Don't worry, Richie, Kit won't go for it either," Aria assured him.

"Besides, it'd make Methos jealous if yah did," Elaine added.

Richie fought very hard to keep from blushing and giving anything away.

Mac opened his mouth to speak, then changed his mind and grabbed Amanda's wrist. "Come on," he told her, pulling her towards the stairs. "Get your things and we're getting out of here."

"Duncan!" Aria yelled after him. "Oh great, now see what you've done? Can't you two get along for five bloody minutes if for no other reason than ya both like me?"

"'Snot mah fault," Elaine said defensively. "Ah wouldn' do it if he didn' react sah well. He tahns such a lovelay shade of red when he's angray."

Aria gave her a definite "yeah, right" look. "Well ya better start thinkin' of some way to make this up to me," she replied.

Elaine thought for a minute. "How 'bou' a choc'la' cake?" she suggested. "With Richay in the middle?"

"It's a definite start," Aria replied.

"Meh as a lust slave fah a month, involvin' anythin' yah desiah, shaht of mah death?" the blonde added.

"Now you're talkin'," Aria answered, her eyes twinkling.

Elaine went up behind Aria and put her arms around the warrior's waist. "Wai'in' on yah hand an' foot," she murmured into Aria's neck. "An' anythin' else yah like."

"Keep talkin'," Aria replied.

"Draw yah bath. Breakfas' in bed," the blonde continued between kisses and licks.

"I thought I was usually breakfast in bed," Aria teased.

"If yah fahgive meh." Elaine worked her way up to Aria's mouth.

"I suppose I can let it slide this time," Aria teased, giving Elaine a kiss.

Naturally, Duncan and Amanda came down the stairs just then, luggage in hand.

"All right, that's it! We are never coming here again!," Duncan snapped.

"Speak for yourself," Amanda said. "Elaine, anytime you invite me, I'll be here."

Duncan just growled as he dragged her out the door.

"Bye Duncan," Aria called after him. Then she winced when the door slammed. "I'll call him in a couple of days and smooth things over. Although I would appreciate it if'n ya'd at least try to contain yourself when he's around for m'sake at least."

"But Ah am," Elaine protested. "If it wahn' fah yah 'n' Richay, Ah would have ripped his head off lon' ago. Now, wheah wah weh?"

"Talking to Nicholas," Alexandra reminded them.

"Oh, sure, take all the fun out of it," Aria replied with a wink.

"Perhaps Alexandra and I should go someplace private to talk, if she's serious about not killing me," Nick suggested.

"Great idea," Aria replied. "How about the basement? Easier to hide the bodies down there."

"Fine with me," Alexandra shrugged. "I'll stay the day there, if you don't mind."

"Whatever," Aria replied. "I, however, am goin' to bed. I feel one hell of a headache comin' on."

"I think I'll follow. It's way past my bedtime," Nat agreed.

"Sounds like a definite plan," Maggie agreed.

That was the cue for the rest of them to leave as well. Nick and Alexandra headed for the basement and Elaine, Maggie, Richie and Aria went upstairs.

THE END

SONG ANTHOLOGY:

Paper Moon: Written by Billy Rose, E. Y. Harburger and Harold Arlen. Warner Bros. Music, S. A. Music Co., and Gloccamorria Music, ASCAP. First recorded in 1944.

Author's Note: The Black and White Ball is basically a huge, multi-block outdoor party held every other June (or is it May, I can't remember) in San Francisco. The last one was held in 1999. Like the name suggests, everyone wears black and/or white and all proceeds go to charity. Which is about the only way you'd get Elaine to perform in something that public. ;-)