James West, Artemus Gordon, Antoinette and Dr. Loveless belong to CBS. I think. If not CBS, then whoever owns the rights to the Wild Wild West. Ulysses S. Grant did exist (he'd better have or else thousands of history books are wrong), but none of his interactions with characters from this story ever took place. None of these people actually appear in this, since they're dead (well, most of them, anyway), but they are mentioned here, so I thought I'd stick this in the disclaimer anyway.

As for the rest of the cast in this trip to La La Land, Diana Mykos and Aria Andraven come from the very demented (I knew there was a reason I love this woman) mind of Kathleen M. Wilson. Although Di's based on the Vampire: The Masquerade fifth of the White Wolf Storyteller universe and Kat had to steal some stuff from them to make her authentic. Anyone else belongs to me.

If, by any chance, you think Kat or I wrote any of the songs that appear in this, you're really off your rocker. Ave Maria was written by John Sebastian Bach, although it's in public domain so I can use it if I want, The Merry Widow Waltz was written by Franz Lehar, Victor Leon and Leo Stein, and Bring on the Men was written by Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse. As always, I have wav and mp3 files of the songs, and translations of some of the lyrics, and will gladly send them to anyone who requests them.

WARNING: The following story is meant for ADULT eyes only. This means there's a sex scene in it. And what a sex scene it is. The only character in this who doesn't get any is Joe. Mainly because he leaves before anything fun happens. Jimmy's father doesn't get any, either. But he did get some, a long time ago (about nine months before Jimmy was born, come to think of it <G>) and, anyway, he's dead, so why should he? Aside from that, thought, everybody who's actually in this gets everybody else. This includes m/m, f/f, m/f/f, m/f/m, f/f/f and anything else we can think of.

WARNING NUMBER TWO: This story also contains politically incorrect material. Elaine grew up in the South in the late 1880s and some of her attitude reflects it.

Got all that? Good.

A Meeting of the Minds

Joe checked the clock, then went and unlocked the door to the bar. He hadn't done it earlier because he didn't want any of the usual patrons coming in. There was a sign on the door saying it was closed for a private party, but that wouldn't have stopped most of them.

But this was the time Elaine had told him to open, and since she was paying for this evening, she was the boss.

Only, so far, none of the five he was expecting had shown up yet. It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that there was a knock on the door.

"It's open," he called out.

"Ah hands ah full," came the reply.

Joe went over, opened the door and came face to face with a couple of boxes of wine.

"Ev'nin', Joe," the top box said. "Ah'd give yah a kiss, but...."

"Why don't you let me take one of those, Elaine?" he offered.

"Don' beh sillay," she turned him down. "Ah cn handle these thin's a lot be'ah then yah. If yah wan' tah help, steah meh t'wahds a table sah Ah don' have tah echo-locate one like a bat."

"Thirty feel straight ahead, then a little to your left," he instructed.

"Thanks. Now why don' yah hold the doah fah Richay 'n' Aria?" the box suggested.

"Are they over loaded, too?" Joe asked.

"No. Ah jus' didn' wan' tah have tah make moah then one trip," she answered. "An' since theah's onlay foah boxes, it made sense."

Elaine put the boxes on the table and went over to Joe for a kiss.

Richie and Aria came in then, each carrying a box.

"That Caddie is un-friggin'-believable, 'Laine," Richie said as he put down his box. "Not only is it gorgeous but it rides like a dream."

Elaine shrugged. "Ah've had it fah yeahs. Ah jus' nevah could remembah tah brin' it out of stahrige. But it'll come in handay fah the three of us. Not tah mention the great trunk space."

"Trunk space," Richie repeated.

"The '59 Caddie has more trunk space than any other car built in the past forty years," Aria explained, putting down her own box. "Perfect for hiding bodies in."

"I don't even want to know how you know that," Richie sighed.

"So, we got everything?" Aria asked.

"Ah think sah, yeah," Elaine answered.

"This should really be an interesting night," Aria said. "As far as I knew, I was the only one of Methos' old girlfriends still living."

"What about Cassandra?" Richie asked.

Elaine and Aria both shot Richie a dirty look.

"Never mind," he replied.

"So, when are they getting here, anyway?" Aria asked, changing the subject.

Elaine glanced at the clock behind the door. "Any minute now," she answered. "In fact, they'ah heah."

A few seconds later, Aria and Richie turned to the door as they felt Methos' buzz. The front door opened and Methos came in, hand in hand with the most stunning woman any of them had ever seen.

She was a couple inches shorter than Elaine and seemed even smaller. She had long, black hair that fell loose around her shoulders, skin that was a shade darker than Aria's light tan, and eyes so dark you could almost fall into them. She was dressed in a long, black flower print skirt, an off-white blouse with a lace-up bodice, black boots and a long, black cloak. And her free hand was wrapped around the straps from a multicolored knit bag.

But the most amazing thing was Methos. The smile on his face was bright and happy, not the cynical little smirk he usually had. He was beaming down at the woman beside him and all but oblivious to the others in the room.

"It's all right, Diana," he said warmly. "These are the friends I wanted you to meet."

"If they are your friends, Methos, then I am sure I vill like them as vell," Diana replied shyly. Her voice was deep, rich and heavily accented. But it held an almost hypnotic and musical quality.

Methos took off his trenchcoat and draped it over one of the chairs. Then he removed Diana's cloak and placed it there as well. "You already know Joe," he said as he took her hand again.

Joe grinned. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Diana."

"It is always good to see you, Joseph," Diana replied, returning the smile. Her smile lit up her entire face and made her even more beautiful, if that was humanly possible.

Elaine smelled it first. Aria picked it up a few seconds later, followed by Richie and Joe.

"Lilac," Elaine whispered to the Immortal woman. "She smells like lilacs."

Aria nodded. "So I noticed," she replied. "No wonder Methos used to get so turned on when I used that lilac scented soap."

Methos then led Diana over to the others. "And this is Aria and Richie."

Diana nodded at each of them in return. "It is an honor to finally meet you, Aria," she said. "My Falcon has told me much about you and I have alvays vanted to meet the young voman who helped my Falcon through a time of such pain."

"I wish I could say the same," Aria replied. "Methos never even mentioned you to me until this whole bloody thing came up."

"My Falcon does tend to be overly protective of me," Diana laughed.

Methos shrugged. "Can I help it if I want to keep you all to myself?" he teased.

"And I am glad to meet you as vell, Richie," Diana said, turning to the young man. "Methos speaks very highly of you."

"Oh, he does, does he?" Richie asked.

"Diana, please," Methos said. "I have a reputation to uphold here. Keep it up and they'll never believe my sarcastic and cynical routine."

"I vill try better, my Falcon," Diana replied. "Ve can't have your friends thinking you are a varm and gentle man, now can ve?"

Methos laughed. "Much better." He kissed her passionately and then turned her to Elaine. "And this is the real reason I brought you here, my darling Nightbird. Diana Mykos, this is Elaine Lambert."

Diana suddenly turned even shyer. "It is nice to meet you, Elaine," she said.

Elaine walked up to her and took Diana's hand in the manner usually used to greet royalty -- almost, but not quite curtsying to her. "An' Ah am verrah honahed tah meet yah."

The others stared at her. They had expected Elaine to either make a catty remark upon meeting someone even more beautiful than herself or to make a pass at Diana. Not this.

"Don' beh sillay, y'all. Ah'm always polite tah someone who cn throw mah ass across the room weithout thinkin'," Elaine explained. "Espec'allay an Ancien' One."

The blank looks continued.

"They don' know, do they?" she asked Diana and Methos.

"Not yet," Methos answered.

"Is it all right if Ah tell them?"

"Might as well," he shrugged. "They'll figure it out anyway."

"May Ah please tell them?" Elaine asked Diana, ignoring Methos.

"If my Falcon thinks it is vise," Diana answered.

Taking that as permission, Elaine turned to the others. "Diana's a vampiah. A verrah, verrah ol' one."

"Diana?" Why didn't you tell us?" Joe asked, astonished.

She gave a very elegant shrug. "Vell, I have only just met Richie and Aria. And I vould have told you vhen my Falcon first introduced us, Joe, but I did not know how you vould react," she answered. "I try very hard to hide my existence, but I am very open about it vith those I consider friends. But I have found that some mortals have a hard time vith vhat I am, so I do not tell them. I vould have told you right avay if I had known that you had a vampire for a friend, though. But, oh vell, that is the vay it goes sometimes, da?"

Methos put a very protective arm around her shoulders. "We didn't mean anything by it, Joe," he said.

"I guess I understand," Joe replied. "It's not like I went around announcing that I have no problems whatsoever with vampires because I dated one for a while."

"Yah be'ah not," Elaine reminded him, just loud enough for Joe to hear. A smile was added to make him feel less threatened.

"Exactly how old are you, anyway?" Richie asked.

Elaine slapped him in the stomach. "Richay!" she snapped, embarrassed. "Ah'm sah sahrah, Diana. Ah'm tryin' tah teach him mannahs, but obviouslay some of it hasn' stuck yet."

"Is all right, I do not mind telling," Diana assured them, smiling. "I am a little over thirteen hundred. It has not been an easy existence, but I do vhat I can."

Methos gently kissed her cheek. "You do more than get by, my Nightbird."

"You are too good to me, my Falcon," she answered, blushing.

Aria was amazed. Methos had never been like then when they had been together. If it weren't for the fact that she had Richie, and Elaine now, she'd almost be jealous!

Joe looked at the clock. "I suppose I should get going," he said reluctantly.

"What's the ma'ah, Joe?" Elaine asked, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Afraid weh'ah goin' tah destroy the place?"

That wasn't very far from the truth.

Diana, fortunately, could sense his fear. "Do not vorry, Joe, ve vill take good care of your tavern," she said.

He still wasn't convinced.

"Trust me, Joe, the bar's in good hands," Aria said. "Besides, between me, 'Laine and Methos, we can afford to rebuild it for you if anything happens."

Joe paled. "That's it, I'm staying" he declared.

"Joe, hon, I give ya m'word as an Andraven warrior, the bar will be in one piece in time to open tomorrow," Aria said, rolling her eyes.

"Joe, eithah get out of heah now oh Ah'm goin' tah throw yah out mahself,' Elaine added.

Joe knew when he was beaten. He had never been able to argue wit Elaine. Or Aria for that matter. "Okay, okay," he sighed. "I'm going. But I'm holding you personally responsible if anything happens to this place, Aria." He got his coat and headed towards the door. "Be sure to lock up before you leave."

After one last look around, he finally left.

"He is very protective of this place, da?" Diana asked.

"That ain't the half of it," Richie answered, grinning.

"Sah, Diana, cn Ah get yah anythin'?" Elaine asked, suddenly switching into hostess mode.

"A red vine vould be nice," Diana answered.

"Ah've got somethin' be'ah. How does some slightlay out-dated B-negative sound?" the blonde said. "Richay, would yah mind ge'in' it fah meh? It's in the box yah brought in."

"Sure." Richie got out several bottles and set them on the counter. Most of them were the familiar wine bottle shape. One of them turned out to be a small green flask.

Curious, he picked up the vial and opened it. "Elaine, what's this? Damn." He put a finger up to his lips, sucking on it.

"Yah didn' jus' cut yahself, did yah?" Elaine went over and checked his hand. "Did any get in the wound?"

"Relax, 'Laine. It's just a cut. All healed now, see?" Richie showed her the finger. "I'll be fine."

"No, yah won'," she corrected. "That bo'le's full of cuahrarah. Yah jus' killed yahself."

"Curare?" Aria asked. "What're ya doin' with that poison?"

"Call it a las' resaht," Elaine shrugged. "Cuahrarah's one of the few substances that cn make a vampiah drunk. Meh, anyway. Ah'm not sure abou' Diana since she's a diff'ren' type of vampiah." She turned to her elder. "Would yah mind if Ah took a blood sample la'ah? Vampiah genetics ah a specialtay of mine."

Diana shrugged. "I vould not mind," she answered. "I trust you vill be villing to keep the information to yourself, da? I do not vish to be responsible for breaking the Masquerade for the sake of science."

"Don' worrah abou' it," Elaine assured her. "Yah'll beh a completelay anonymous donah. Ah'm verrah caahful abou' these sahts of thin's. When it comes tah mah notes, Ah'm even moah paranoid then Ari."

"Which is definitely sayin' somethin'," Aria teased.

"So, your kind are not broken into different clans, like mine?" Diana asked.

"Clans? What kinds of clans?" Elaine asked, curious. She'd never heard of vampire clans before.

"Excuse me," Richie interrupted. "Can we go back to the curare? What's the cure?"

"Theah isn' one," Elaine answered. "Right now, yah have two choices. One is paralysis, brain damage 'n' eventual death, which given yah immune system, might take a while. Yah toes ge'in' numb?"

He nodded.

"That's the fahst stage. Nex' it hits yah eyes 'n' eahs, then it moves inwahds til it reaches yah lungs," she told him. "If yah like, Ah cn kill yah now an' get it ovah with. That's option numbah two."

Richie looked at her pleadingly. The poison had already spread enough he couldn't speak.

"Right." Elaine moved a chair behind Richie and stood on it. Placing one hand on his shoulder and the other on his chin, she quickly snapped his neck, then held him up while he recovered.

"Be'ah?" she asked, kissing his neck.

"Yeah," he said. "Was I imagining it or did you say that you and Diana were different kinds of vampires? I thought all vampires were the same."

"Don' ask meh," Elaine shrugged. "All Ah know is Diana feels funnay. Why don' yah go fetch somethin' fah Ari, Methos an' yahself tah drink an' a couple of glasses fah Diana 'n' meh?"

She patted Richie on his rear to get him going, then hopped off the chair. "Diana, what was that abou' clans? Ah've nevah hahd of them."

Suddenly remembering his manners, Methos pulled out chairs for all the ladies before finally sitting down next to Diana.

Richie joined them, filling the glasses from the bottle he brought over before also sitting down.

Diana gave Methos a quick kiss on the cheek before continuing. "Amongst my kind, ve are all vampires, but the vampires are made of many clans," she answered. "I am Ravnos, the gypsy clan. There are also the Toreador, the Gangrel, the Malkavian, the Brujah, the Tremere, the Ventrue, the Nosferatu, and others, but I don't remember them all. The main differences between us are in who the clan vill Embrace and vhat abilities they have after rising as Kindred."

"Isn' theah someone who cn tell yah?" Elaine asked, digging for information.

"I do not know," Diana answered. "Most of the higher generations are no longer concerned vith the plights of mere mortals or the young ones, so they hide themselves avay. And I have heard of those who are like me and still valk among the vorld, but I am afraid to find them." She lowered her eyes suddenly. "I ... do not get along vell vith others of my kind. I try to avoid other vampires vhenever possible."

Another new concept for Elaine. The vampires she knew tended to band together, for safety's sake, if nothing else. Okay, so there was Neeki, but still. "Why?"

"I vould rather not say," Diana answered quietly.

Methos put his arm around her shoulders. "It's okay, Diana," he said. "Elaine, Aria and Richie are my friends and I trust them. Hell, I've trusted Aria with my life so many times I've lost count."

"It she doesn't want to say, Methos, it's no big deal," Aria said.

"It is a big deal, Aria," Methos contradicted her. "Nightbird, you can't keep this bottled up forever. You need to tell someone, you know that as well as I do. And if you can't trust my friends, who can you trust?"

Diana sighed. "Perhaps you are right, my Falcon," she replied. "I avoid them because vhat I did is forbidden. If it vere to get out...."

Now Elaine was really interested. "What'd yah do?"

"I killed my Sire," Diana answered.

To everyone's surprise, Elaine started laughing. "Is that all? Mah deah, yah've been han'in' out with the wron' crowd. Le' meh give yah a bit of the hist'ray of mah bloodline. Sev'ral yeahs ago, mah bruthah tried poudin' ah Mastah intah a wall with a bahnin' stake. He sahvived, but jus' baahlay. Two thousand yeahs befoah that, give oh take a centahray, he in his tahn chopped his Mastah's head off. Unfahtunatelay, the li'le bitch came back a couple yeahs ago an' weh had tah do it all ovah again."

She paused and turned to Aria. "That was the fam'lay emahgencay that prevented ah mee'in' in Seacouvah the one time, by the way."

"Ah can' trace ah bloodline much pas' that," she returned to her tale, "because Divia killed hah Mastah not lon' aftah she was brough' across. He hasn' retahned. Yet. Sah yah see, killin' one's Mastah is almos' a fam'lay tradition with us. As fah as Ah'm concahned, yah tah beh commended fah actuallay havin' succeeded."

Something bugged Richie. If he remembered correctly, Elaine had left out a generation. The one she started.

"Elaine, don't you also have a --" Richie stopped, unsure of the term. Child? Servant?

"Yah mean Simon?" she supplied the missing information. "Why do yah think Ah keep him in South America mos' of the time? Ah figah the less weh see of each othah the be'ah. Besides, he's alreaday tried tah kill meh. That's how Ah ended up with him in the fahst place."

Diana shook her head. "You have a very strange family," she said. "But for my kind, to kill your Sire is forbidden. If it vere ever to reach a Prince, a blood hunt vould be called on me. Every Kindred in existence vould be forced to hunt me down and destroy me."

Methos' grip on her shoulders tightened. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

"You are kind, my Falcon," Diana smiled at him grimly. "But even you could not stop all of the Kindred."

"Well, Yah cn count on us tah keep yah secret, Diana," Elaine said. "An' if it evah does get out, Ah'd beh moah then happay tah give yah a place tah hide."

"Thank you, Elaine," Diana replied. "I appredicate the offer."

"No prahblem. Ah know what it's like tah beh chased halfway 'roun' the wahld. Besides," the blonde added, trying to lighten the mood. "Us shrimps have tah stick togethah."

Diana leaned her head back and let out that deep throaty laugh of hers that always sent shivers down Methos' spine. "I have been called many things over the years, Elaine, but that is the first time I have ever been referred to as a shrimp."

"I've always considered you petite," Methos said, grinning. "You're my tiny little China doll, who can drop me flat on my ass if I don't watch it."

"And don't you forget it," Diana teased. "Personally, I have never cared much about my size, though. As long as my hands are big enough to hold my violin, nothing else is important."

"Yah a musician?" Elaine asked, perking up.

Diana nodded. "I vas a bard, before."

Methos squeezed her shoulders gently. "You're still a bard, Diana," he said. "Just because you can't work magik anymore doesn't mean anything. You still play the most beautiful music I've ever heard."

"Duncan used to tell me stories about gypsy bards," Aria said. "It must have been hard on you."

Diana nodded. "But as long as I have my music, it is not so bad."

"You guys should hear her play," Methos said. "Di's music is even more beautiful than she is."

Diana blushed. "Methos...."

"Well, it's true," Methos replied.

"Reallay?" Elaine asked her elder. "Would yah play fah us? Ah'd love tah heah yah."

"I vould be honored to play for you," Diana answered. "You need only to ask."

"You know, Diana, Elaine sings a little. You two ought to get together," Richie suggested.

"Spoken like someone who has no idea how much wahk music takes," The blonde laughed. "But Ah'm willin' if yah ah, Diana."

"If you vould like to, Elaine, I vould love to accompany you," Diana answered. "Do you know any gypsy songs?"

Elaine shook her head. "Not unless the songs Ah lahned 'roun' the campfiah growin' up count. Most of them ain' suitable fah mixed companay, though."

Richie agreed with her. He'd heard some of those songs.

"Vell, you pick a song," Diana shrugged. "I vill pick up the melody as you go."

Elaine waited for Diana to get her instrument out of her bag and tune it, then they both headed for the stage. "How 'bou' --" she started humming. Diana soon joined her.

Both the vocal and violin lines were tuneless while they got the feel of each other. Words were added as they grew more comfortable.

Aria was stunned, and by more than just the choice of music. She knew Richie had met Elaine while she was singing for Joe, and she'd caught the blonde humming under her breath a few times, but this was the first time she'd ever heard Elaine really sing.

Richie leaned over to her. "See why I first fell in love with her?" he whispered.

She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. "She's ... she's ... incredible." Aria gave up trying to find a better word. There just wasn't one.

Before long, the Immortals didn't know which vampire to listen to. Elaine's voice was crystal clear, hitting each note perfectly, with none of the vibrato or 'I know the note's around here somewhere' quality of today's music. It was matched only by the sounds of Diana's violin, wrapping around the blonde's voice and bringing it to new heights. The two combined into an angelic symphony that totally belied its once-human origins. One would have thought they'd been playing together for centuries instead of just a few minutes.

Methos beamed at his lover as he watched the two women. "Can't work magik anymore, my ass," he whispered.

As her voice died, Elaine left the stage. She'd never been able to stay still when there was music being played, even when she was mortal. Becoming a vampire had increased that along with everything else.

She pulled Richie to his feet and dragged him to the middle of the floor. Wrapping her arms around him, she began her second song, a waltz this time.

The song ended with her kissing Richie before handing him off to Aria.

Looking to Diana for permission, Elaine chose Methos as her dance partner for the next song. This one was a bit livelier than the last.

She ended this song the same way. "Nice tah know yah lahned somethin' useful in five thousand yeahs," she told Methos.

Aria would have been Elaine's third dance partner, but Diana stopped playing.

"Elaine, have you ever thought about learning the tanana?" she asked.

"The what?"

"The tanana. It is a gypsy dance," Diana explained. "It is not one ve teach to outsiders very often, but, for someone who dances as beautifully as you and Aria, an exception must be made."

Aria shrugged. "I'm game if you are, 'Laine," she said.

"Why not?" Elaine decided.

Diana smiled. "Vonderful!" She took a few minutes to very carefully put her violin away, treating it as gently and as lovingly as one would a newborn baby. Once the instrument was safely in its case, she dug a portable CD player out of her pack. "Methos, could you help me vith this thing?"

"I'll do it," Richie offered. "Joe's got a boombox with detachable speakers around here somewhere that he keeps for when new bands bring him audition tapes." He took the CD player from Diana and went into the back room to find the boombox.

"I have such a problem vith modern technology," Diana sighed, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. "To this day, part of me is still convinced that there is little elemental spirit inside of light bulb that bursts into flame every time you hit the svitch."

She dug into her bag and pulled out a stack of CDs. "But these, these fascinate me even more," she said as she held up one of the jewel cases. "Thin little silver disks that allow you to play music vhenever you vant. In my day, if you do not live in big city, you had to come to musicians. Now musicians come to you. Music is accessible to everyone now, is incredible."

Aria smiled. "Yeah, sometimes progress has its moments."

Picking up the CDs, Elaine flipped through them. "Gahth Brooks, Cahtnay Love, Yannay, Ice-T?!"

"I have ... eclectic tastes," Diana shrugged. She went through the stack and pulled out one of the cases. "I love all music, but this is the one I vas looking for. To teach you the tanana, I must dance as vell. But I cannot dance and play at the same time. This is closest I have found to the music I need, so it vill do."

Richie came back out and put the CD player down on the stage. Then he took the boombox speakers and plugged them into the back of it. "There, that oughtta do it," he said.

Diana walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Richie," she said. "But vould you do me one more favor? Can you fix it so that song number eight vill play over and over again?"

"You mean program the CD player into a continuous loop," Richie clarified "I think I can swing it."

Diana grinned. "You are very sveet, Richie," she replied. "Aria and Elaine are very lucky vomen."

"Well, I like to think so," Richie blushed.

"Keep it up, Diana, and we'll never get his bloody swelled head out the door," Aria teased.

"Very funny, Ari," Richie shot back. He took the CD from Diana and started setting up the player.

"You know I love you," Aria replied as she kissed him.

"And it's a damn good thing you do," Richie laughed.

Diana grabbed Elaine and Aria's hands and pulled them out onto the dance floor. "I vill have to improvise a little since ve do not have enough men," she said. "There is only one of Richie and, even though I have spent centuries trying to teach him this, Methos has yet to, how you say, get it?"

Methos rolled his eyes. "One time I nearly throw my back out doing this and she never lets me forget it," he sighed.

"One time you nearly throw your back out and step all over my feet and trip the voman dancing next to us," Diana corrected. "Honestly, my Falcon, I vill never understand how you can be so limber and agile in bed but have never been able to handle this dance."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Richie asked.

Methos grinned mysteriously. "Just wait," he answered.

"Whatever," Richie shrugged. "Anyway, Diana, it's all set up. Just hit play whenever you're ready.

"Thank you, Richie," Diana replied. She waited for the men to sit down and then started the music.

Richie got the answer to his question almost immediately. Even done one step at a time in slow motion, this dance looked like the closest thing to sex one person could do with their clothes on.

And that was just while learning it. Once they had the steps down, the women focused their attention on the men.

They toyed with Methos and Richie, brushing up close and waiting for one of them to make a grab for her before dancing out of reach.

Aria was enjoying herself immensely. It had been along time since she'd had a chance to really do any true dancing, but she had never danced like this. Methos and Richie were totally enthralled, held completely by the spell the women were weaving with their bodies. She had never felt such power over men. Oh sure, she'd held men in her spell before, but it was usually a spell created by fear. But this was like nothing the warrior woman had ever felt before.

The brunette had never considered herself much of a seductress. She hadn't had very many lovers in her lifetime and most of them had always made the first move. And it was not like she had to do much to turn Richie on. But this was incredible. He was completely enthralled, totally under her control, and she hadn't even touched him yet! It was an amazing sensation, almost a high when she thought about it. She could get used to this.

Elaine smiled as she watched Aria. She, of course, was well familiar with what Aria was just now discovering. It as one of her favorite things about being on stage. Still, there was something about having just Methos and Richie in front of her that was giving the occasion an extra flair.

Suddenly, Elaine pulled away, practically running to the table. She grabbed a bottle, uncorked it with her teeth and drank it down as fast as she could. "Sahrah, y'all. But Ah need tah take a break," she explained, grabbing another bottle. "That dance is reallay stahtin' tah get tah meh." Her heaving breasts, glowing eyes and extended fangs told them exactly how it was getting to her. She was losing it -- fast!

She wasn't the only one. Richie reached over and pulled her into his lap. "Gotcha," he said, kissing the space between her breasts.

Elaine laughed, then pushed him away. "Stop that!"

Richie and Aria were almost shocked. Of the three of them, Elaine had the biggest sexual appetite and instigated their games at least half the time. To have her turn down Richie in the state she was in was almost unthinkable.

Aria stopped dancing and went over to them. "Elaine? Are you all right?"

"A'cahse Ah'm all right. In fact, Ah'm moah then all right," the blonde assured them. "It's jus' that if weh keep dancin', Ah'm goin' tah need tah bite someone soon."

"So go ahead and bite," Methos suggested. "We're all used to vampires here."

Elaine glared at him. "Theah's this small prahblem of killin' whoevah Ah bite. Ah've always found it puts a dampah on thin's."

"Can't you drink just a little?" Richie asked.

It was Richie's turn to get glared at. "Don' yah think Ah would if Ah could?" she said. "Ah hate always killin' yah an' Shalla."

"Is simple trick," Diana countered. "One I learn a long time ago."

"Yah cn stop?" Elaine asked, astonished. "Ah mean, ah knew it was possible, but how do yah handle the obsession aftahwahds?"

"Vhat obsession?" Diana replied, confused. "The only obsession I have is the one for blood in the first place."

Elaine was at a loss for words. How do you explain something that was as second nature as breathing? "Ah mean ... the one wheah yah sah caught up in a pahson yah keep goin' back tah them until yah event'allay take too much an' kill them. Ah thought weh all did that."

"All?" Richie teased.

"Yeah, meh, too." Elaine took first Richie's, then Aria's hands in hers and kissed them before continuing. "Ah hate tah break it tah yah, but yah stuck with meh. Ah can' give yah up."

Aria grinned. "Works for me, love," she said.

"Same here," Richie agreed. "Nice to know somebody's not gonna leave me."

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Aria shot back.

"I meant you, too," Richie replied, kissing her cheek.

Diana smiled. "Vell, I know about obsession, but it has nothing to do vith the blood," she said, glancing up at Methos.

"Trust me, my Nightbird, you're not the only one with an obsession around here," Methos grinned in return.

"The only obsession I have is vith the blood itself," Diana continued. "But once I grew old enough, I learned to control the Beast so I can take a few sips from each victim. One of the few good points about living this long is I learned how to survive vithout alvays killing."

"Yeah, that would beh nice," Elaine agreed. "Not havin' a choice in the ma'ah's always bothahed meh. Not tah mention the risks these days of havin' a half-drained cahpse with a paah of holes in the neck bein' found by the police."

"I have never liked to kill," Diana replied. "It goes against my very nature as gypsy, bard and empath."

"You're empathic?" Aria asked.

"Like Troi on Star Trek?" Richie added.

Diana nodded. "Is one way of putting it, da," she answered. "It is one reason Methos and I keep returning to each other. Ve have deep, empathic bond between us that cannot be broken. Is almost like your obsession, Elaine, only more fun."

"Reallay?" Elaine asked, raising a cynical eyebrow at her. "How?"

"Let me show you," Diana offered.

Methos, who had gotten up and gone behind the bar for another beer and so missed most of that conversation, came back and sat down. "Show them what, Diana?" he asked.

Diana took his hand and raised it to her lips. "Falcon," she said as she kissed his hand.

"Yeah?"

"I'm hungry." Diana vamped out on them as she plunged her fangs into Methos' wrist.

Methos threw his head back and groaned as she drank. But it soon turned into a moan of deep pleasure and his eyes rolled back in his head. He moaned again and again until he finally came with a guttural cry. "Diana, what have I told you about doing that in public?" he gasped.

Diana withdrew her fangs and licked the wounds on his wrist closed. "Varn you before I do it," she answered. "I am sorry, my Falcon, but I could not help myself?" She gave him a look of pure apology, which wasn't in the least bit ruined by her glowing yellow eyes or the trails of blood trickling down the sides of her mouth.

"That's okay, sweetheart, I'll forgive you this time." Methos kissed her cheek and passed out.

Diana licked the blood from her mouth. "Everything I feel, he feels," she explained. "And vice versa. Is much fun, no?"

"Verrah," Elaine agreed. "Ah jus' fail tah see how it proves yah empathic."

"But ... you saw how Methos reacted," Richie said.

"A'cahse he did. She was bitin' him. Oh have yah fahgo'en Ah do that, too?" The blonde slipped her foot out of her shoe and ran it up his leg.

"I only bite him because I need the ... oh, vhat is vord? Stimulation? Da, stimulation myself," Diana pointed out. "I collect emotions from all of you and can project them as vell, but I need something more ... tangivle to make this vork. Having Methos do it vould have defeated the purpose and is not polite to stimulate one's self the old fashioned vay in public."

"That still doesn' prove anythin'," Elaine objected.

"So what would it take to make you believe it?" Aria asked.

Elaine thought it over. "Have Diana do it tah Methos again. Only without the bitin'. Say, from across the room, with Methos tied sah he couldn' touch himself. If he still comes, Ah'll believe it. Will he?" she challenged Diana.

"He vill come," Diana answered.

"Might wanna make sure you cover his eyes, too," Aria added. "Methos always did like a good show."

"All right. What ah weh wai'in' fah?" Elaine said.

Methos came to to find himself laid out spread eagle and naked on one of the tables. His hands and feet were tied so he couldn't move and one of Diana's scarves was tied over his eyes.

"What's happening?" he asked.

"'Laine didn't believe Diana's an empath," Aria explained. "So we're runnin' an experiment."

He didn't like the sound of that. "What kind of experiment?"

"Don' wurrah. Yah'll enjoy it," Elaine told him, before joining Diana.

For once, she was nervous about what she was about to do. It wasn't that she lacked confidence in her skills. Quite the contrary -- she was confident almost to the point of arrogance. The day she couldn't get someone off was the day she walked out into the sun. It was just when you were normally the strongest person in the room by a long shot, and you come across someone who could tear you to pieces without batting an eyelash, it tended to be a little intimidating. No matter how nice she was.

Still, the idea of getting both Methos and Diana off just be doing Diana was too delicious to resist.

She began with a kiss. Elaine's tongue invaded Diana's mouth, sweeping over her fangs.

Over on the other side of the room, Methos moaned.

Elaine smiled to herself. Maybe there was something to this empathy bit after all.

Undoing the laces, she opened Diana's blouse, exposing the golden flesh underneath. Very pretty. But Elaine wanted to see more.

Across the room, Richie ran a hand down Aria's arm, wondering if he could talk her into a bit of fun of their own. Elaine may not believe in empathy, but he did. Something was getting to him, anyway.

Diana's blouse hit him in the head, drawing his attention back to the vampires. Elaine had the raven-haired beauty backed up into one of the tables, angled so the she could keep track of what was happening to Methos. Diana was bare to the waist and Elaine was merrily feasting on her breasts. Her hands roved across her elder's skin, finally settling on the waistband of her skirt.

Diana arched her hips away form the table, allowing Elaine to unfasten the skirt. The garment fell to the floor, revealing a pair of black silk panties. Elaine hooked her fingers into them, intending to remove them, then changed her mind.

With a growl, Elaine started nibbling her way down Diana's stomach. Over on the table, Methos started moaning and squirming as phantom teeth caressed his own stomach. Finally, Elaine grabbed the elder vampire's panties between her teeth and yanked, ripping them clean off.

Now that the final barrier was removed, Elaine maneuvered Diana into a better position. Diana offered no resistance as Elaine perched the gypsy on the edge of the table. The blonde spread the older woman's legs apart and placed her tongue to the prize nestled between the dark curls.

Methos cried out suddenly and his hips began to thrust upwards of their own accord, his hardened cock trying desperately to make contact with anything but the air around him.

Diana moaned, her knuckles turning white as she fought desperately to maintain her control over the beast within her. Elaine's tongue lapped at her flesh, swirling around her and peeking inside her. But the gypsy wanted more.

Grabbing Elaine by the hair, Diana yanked her up. The blonde started to protest, but the gypsy shut her up by pressing their mouths together. Diana shoved her tongue into the other woman's mouth and Elaine soon returned the favor, their tongues mixing the flavors of lilacs, roses and blood.

Methos' moans and thrusts soon slowed, so Elaine slid her fingers into Diana. Diana pushed her hips down as Elaine thrusted, but Methos was the one who cried out at the intrusion. Methos and Diana both moved as one as Elaine thrusted her fingers further and further into the beautiful gypsy.

But things weren't moving fast enough for Diana. Between the lust she was feeling from the others, the scent of blood that filled the air, and the slight taste she had gotten of her beloved Methos, she had been on the brink of frenzy long before Elaine had ever touched her. Now that things had progressed this far, neither the woman nor the Beast would be satisfied until they reached their logical conclusion.

Deciding to help things along, Diana ran one hand down Elaine's thigh until she found the edge of the blonde's skirt. Then she moved her hand back up the inside of Elaine's thigh and plunged her own fingers into the blonde's depths.

With a sound that was half scream of pleasure, half growl of challenge, Elaine pushed Diana back so that the dark gypsy was now lying on top of the table and the blonde was straddling her elder's thighs.

Now that she was in a more stable position, Diana sacrificed her grip on the edge of the table so that she could rip off Elaine's dress without having to lose the rhythm they had found in each other.

Both naked, Diana's long slender fingers moved deep within the blonde while her lips, tongue and teeth found their way to the other's breasts. At the same time, Elaine's own fingers thrusted again and again into her elder while she nuzzled and nipped at the wonderful neck beneath her.

Meanwhile, that glorious man that had once been Methos, oldest of the Immortals, was now nothing more than a quivering ball of nerve endings. Methos felt everything Diana and Elaine were doing to each other and it had overloaded his mind. He could do nothing but feel now, moaning and groaning, thrusting up into the air and struggling against his bonds. If he didn't come soon, he feared he might never survive.

Methos wasn't the only one feeling an urgency. Between the sounds, the scents, and the sights coming from the middle of the room, Richie's jeans were becoming way too tight. He tried to keep his eyes on the show Elaine and Diana were presenting, but every so often he found his eyes wandering over to the oldest Immortal. Embarrassed by the thoughts that ran through his mind whenever he caught himself looking at Methos' stiffened rod standing at attention and thrusting into the air, Richie figured he'd better do something, and fast!

Aria was standing in front of him, trying to keep her mind separate from what she was seeing. It didn't help matters any that she had always loved Methos' body, that she could feel the heat Richie was generating behind her, or hear the growls and purrs Elaine was making.

Richie wrapped his arms around Aria and held her close. "Ari?" he whispered into her ear, his arousal obvious even through the fabric of their jeans.

"Yes, Richie," Aria answered, knowing where he was headed and feeling it just as urgently.

Richie spun her around so they were face to face and their lips met in a fiercely passionate kiss.

In a heartbeat, Diana lost her battle. With an extremely unDianalike growl, the gypsy began her orgasmic frenzy by throwing Elaine off the table with a burst of vampire-induced strength. She pounced on top of the younger woman and plunged her fangs into the vulnerable flesh of the blonde's neck.

Methos came at the same time, his body pumping his vital fluids everywhere as the first drop of blood hit his beloved's tongue. He cried out again and again in a language long forgotten as he thrusted and tensed against the bonds holding him to the table.

Grabbing Diana and rolling so she was now on top, Elaine started her own orgasm. She plunged her fangs into the gypsy's neck and they continued feeding in an endless cycle, their bodies changing position as their blood did.

As they fed, they rolled, over and over, both lost to the frenzy, until they crashed into Aria and Richie. The two Immortals were knocked to the floor and their passionate embrace turned into a tangle of limbs as they got caught up with the two vampires.

Diana and Elaine broke apart as they smelled hot blood beneath them. They both started nuzzling Richie's neck as they smelled the pulsating fluid just beneath his flesh.

Disentangling herself from the others, Aria turned back to help Richie up. This was not going to be as easy as she had first thought, though, as Elaine was sitting on Richie's chest, ripping his shirt off, and Diana was doing the same to his jeans.

"Uh, guys?" the warrior woman asked, trying to get their attention.

Elaine turned on Aria and hissed, her frenzied mind seeing the other woman not as her lover, but as a threat.

Aria jumped back, caught off guard at her lover's reactions. She took a few more steps back, giving herself a chance to assess the situation, only to be greeted by a hand on her butt.

Methos smiled dazedly as he massaged the firm muscle beneath his hand. "Aria," he breathed.

She was too shocked to move. "Yeah. How'd ya know?"

"You smell different," Methos answered. "Plus you're the only female in the room tall enough for me to do this with at this height. I take it Elaine and Diana have laid claim to Richie?"

Aria nodded, then remembered that Methos was still blindfolded.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, they did," she replied. "I was gonna help him up, but Elaine growled at me. It was like she didn't even know who I was."

"It's the frenzy," Methos explained. "Right now Diana and Elaine don't even know who they are. Richie's just a source of blood to them. Once they've both fed, they'll be fine. But until then, we might as well enjoy ourselves." While they'd been talking, he'd somehow managed to move his fingers from her ass to her inner thigh. He ran his index finger along the seam of her jeans that kept him separated from her groin.

Aria was already feeling turned on and Methos' wandering hand was making things worse. "Methos, how?" she whispered. "I mean, you just...." But even as she said that, she realized that is cock was still rather hard.

"One of the side effects of the empathic bond now that Di's a vampire," Methos said. "I can't be completely satiated until the Beast within her is. So no matter how many times I come, I still stay hard. Normally, this isn't a problem because she kills me when she comes and then Diana, the Beast and I can all be satisfied. But Elaine's blood lust is feeding Diana's, which is feeding Elaine's, and this is going to go on for a while until they're either both full or they pass out. And since Di's a little occupied at the moment, I might as well put this to good use. And it has been along time, my precious beauty."

Aria ran her hand across his cock and it jumped to life at her touch. "That it has, Miasta," she replied. But then she looked back over her shoulder at Richie.

Sensing her reluctance, Methos grabbed the hand nearest his and squeezed it. "It's all right, Aria," he said. "A vampire induced orgy doesn't count as cheating."

Aria smiled. "Oh, you know this from experience, do ya?"

Methos nodded. "Yep, that I do." His hips suddenly lurched skyward and he moaned. "Please, Aria. I can't take this again, not without someone to share it with."

Slowly removing the blindfold, Aria saw the desperation and need in his eyes. She captured his lips in a passionate kiss, giving her assent. She joined him on the table, stretching her body out on top of is.

Methos returned the kiss, his tongue plundering her soft mouth while he rubbed his shaft between her denim-clad thighs. "When did you turn into such a tease?" he whispered against her mouth.

Aria grinned. "I've gotten in some more practice since the last time we did this," she laughed. She kissed him again, then started kissing her way down his chest.

Methos watched her through lust-hazed eyes, moaning with need. "Ari, please, untie me," he begged.

Aria tried, but the knots held tight. "Damn, this is what I get for lettin' 'Laine tie these," she grumbled.

"Ari, please!" he cried as he started thrusting again.

Aria decided to take a chance. "'Laine, can I borrow your --"

Elaine's knife arrived with a 'THUNK' next to Methos' hand.

"Uh, thanks," Aria replied. She grabbed the knife and quickly cut Methos loose. He gave her just enough time to dispose of the knife before grabbing her in a passionate embrace.

Hands roamed everywhere while they removed Aria's clothing. Once all obstacles were out of his way, Methos flipped her onto her back. He spread her legs apart and then entered her with a passionate kiss.

Aria needn't have worried about Richie's reaction to her making love with Methos, though, because he was too far gone to notice anything. Had his mind still been capable of rational thought, he probably would have realized that both Diana and Elaine now were empathetically broadcasting. However, it was that fact that kept him from realizing anything.

Their earlier frenzies had reduced the two vampires to their base animal instincts and that pure lust was what they were broadcasting for as far as Diana's range would allow. Aria and Methos were far enough away that the could still function, but Richie was at the epicenter of both vampires and receiving the full brunt of it. As a result, for the first time in his life, he was finally the walking hormone MacLeod had always accused him of being. He was being driven purely by the mating instinct and the smell and feel of the two very female forms next to him.

Elaine had impaled herself on Richie's throbbing cock while Diana was hovering over Richie's face, exposing her depths to his wandering tongue. He thrusted his tongue into Diana in time with the thrusts of his dick into Elaine. The whole thing was incredible.

Meanwhile, Aria and Methos had become a tangle of limbs while they tried to join their bodies as one. They were doing a pretty good job of it, too, when they rolled over and fell off the table, landing next to the mass that was Diana, Richie and Elaine.

Diana growled a challenge as she leapt off Richie and tore Methos away from Aria. She hissed at the warrior woman and lunged forward, but the smell of sex and blood stopped her. She sniffed Aria like a wild dog trying to decide if the body next to it was a potential meal or a potential mate.

Aria lay still, not wanting to antagonize the elder vampire. Had Elaine been the one sniffing her, she knew she would have ended up a mate first. She wasn't sure about Diana and even though the loss of blood wouldn't kill her permanently, and could even be a hell of a lot of fun, she didn't want to take the chance of having her head ripped off in the process.

Diana sniffed at Aria's groin, then gave the brunette her answer. The tongue that lashed out, teasing her flesh, proved that Aria was going to be a mate first. Anything after that wasn't really important.

Methos sat dazed for a moment, not sure where to go next. Elaine was busy with Richie while the two greatest loves of his life were now doing each other. He was trying to figure out how to sneak up behind Diana and join her, when Elaine made another decision for him.

The blonde grabbed him and pulled him up behind her. Methos grinned as he entered, pumping into her from behind while Richie still took her from the front.

Elaine finally came as she bit deeply into Richie's neck. But somehow, even in the middle of a frenzy, she managed only to drain him into unconsciousness. Methos pulled out as she removed her fangs from the younger man's neck, only to have her grabbed by Aria.

Methos sighed in frustration. The women were now completely involved with each other and he still hadn't come. Elaine had plunged her fingers into Diana while Aria had done the same to the blonde and Diana's tongue still probed the brunette's depths. He could just sit back and enjoy the sensations coming from them, but the ghost fingers on his body tended to dive him crazy. He needed a warm body to make love to while this was going on and that left....

Methos grinned to himself as a rather wicked idea began to form.

Richie awoke to find his hands tied over his head to the bar with the scarf they'd used to blindfold Methos earlier and the oldest Immortal's fingers up his ass and mouth around his cock. "Methos, what are you doing?" he moaned.

Methos reluctantly removed his mouth from the younger man's stiff rod, but kept his fingers thrusting. "You weren't supposed to wake up yet," he admonished.

"Methos!" Richie had started to protest, but it turned into a deep moan instead.

Methos leaned forward enough to kiss the younger man passionately, forcing his tongue into that perfect mouth. "I know, you've never been with a man before," he whispered against those beautiful lips. "But hasn't part of you always wondered what it would feel like? I felt your eyes on me earlier, watching me as I thrusted into the air. I know you were wondering what it would be like to have me thrusting into you." Every time he said thrust, he shoved his fingers in harder, brushing them up against Richie's prostate. "There is much I can teach you, Richie. And it's not like the women are going to mind."

Richie moaned with each thrust. Methos had no idea just how true his words were. "Methos, please," he begged. "Oh God, Methos. Oh yes. Yes!"

Methos removed his fingers and Richie let out a whimper in protest. "All in good time, Richie. All in good time," the older man laughed. He grabbed Richie's ankles and pulled the younger man down as far as his bonds would allow. Then he spread Richie's legs apart and shoved the redhead's knees back to the firm and muscular chest. He positioned his cock at Richie's opening and, with a wicked grin, plunged forward.

Richie's chest arched and he cried out at the intrusion. But once he got over the initial pain, the pleasure was incredible. Methos allowed him to adjust to the throbbing cock inside him before pulling out a little. He hissed and Methos pushed forward again, eliciting another cry of pleasure.

They fell into an easy rhythm, Methos using both his cock and his hands to bring the younger man to new heights of pleasure. He kissed, licked, and nibbled every inch of flesh he could reach until Richie finally came with a scream of "Methos!"

Richie panted heavily as he came down, Methos' still-hard cock nestled inside him. "You ... you still haven't come?" he wheezed, surprised.

Methos slowly disengaged himself from the younger man. "Hazard of loving a vampire," he answered. "At least an empathic one, at any rate."

Richie surprised himself further with his next comment. "Untie me and I'll see what I can do about it."

Methos smiled. He stretched himself out on top of Richie, kissing him as he undid the bonds around the young Immortal's wrists.

Once he was free, Richie wrapped his arms and legs around the older man, holding him tightly as he slipped his tongue between the thin, pouty lips. He wasn't exactly sure what had so completely stripped away his inhibitions, but he figured he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

Methos ran his hands up and down Richie's back, grinding his cock against the younger's flaccid member. Their tongues met and battled for domination in each other's mouths, tasting every inch of the warm, moist depths.

Richie flipped Methos onto his back, then kissed his way down the other man's chest. He teased each dark nipple into erectness with his tongue, blew on the tiny chest hairs, fascinated by their movements, nibbled on the flat stomach, and finally found the stiff rod, standing at attention. He hesitated for a brief moment, and then began his assault.

Methos moaned as the tongue began to lick his manhood, cleaning away the remnants of his earlier orgasm and his lovemaking with both Aria and Elaine. He watched the redhead move around his cock, licking and caressing every inch of it. Then he cried out as Richie began to take him into his mouth. "For someone who's never done this before," he moaned, "you sure are a fast learner. OH!"

While it was true that Richie had never done this before, he'd had it done to him enough times to know what he liked. And since most of Aria's technique had come from her time with Methos, he figured he was safe. He eased the rod as far back as he could without gagging and then let his tongue swirl around it, sucking on it as he did.

Methos moaned as his hips bucked forward. He wanted more of himself in Richie, but he didn't want to choke the young man, either. Instead, he put his hand to Richie's head, running his fingers through the short, red-blonde curls.

Richie trailed his fingers across Methos' balls, massaging them as he sucked the cock nestled between them. He found himself growing hard again from Methos' groans, but he ignored his own arousal, concentrating on pleasuring his new lover instead. He moved his fingers of his right hand down, teasing Methos' thigh with a feather light touch. He wove patterns across the pale skin as he headed towards the muscular ass. Teasing the tight opening with his fingertips, he finally forced one inside.

Methos' whole body arched as he came. He pumped his heat into Richie's mouth, crying out again and again as waves of pleasure rocked his body. When he finished, he pulled Richie up for a passionate kiss. "Do you really want to pleasure me, Richie?" he asked.

"Yes," Richie hissed. "I want to make you scream until my name is the only thing you can say."

Methos smiled. "You do have potential, kid," he teased. He kissed Richie again, tasting himself on those full lips. "Are you hard again?"

Richie rubbed his throbbing member across Methos'. "What do you think?"

Methos gasped at the all too sudden electric contact between them. "Now, Richie," he said. "I want you inside me, now!"

Richie flipped Methos onto his stomach and pinned him down with his slightly larger body. "Anything you say, old man." He rubbed his cock along the crack of Methos' ass for a few moments before forcing his way into the tight ring of muscle.

Methos screamed at the intrusion, loving the pain as much as the pleasure he knew it would eventually bring. It had been a long time since he'd been fucked by a man and Richie was shaping up to be worth the wait.

Meanwhile, Richie's brilliant blow job had quite an effect on Diana as well. She felt Methos' orgasm and it forced one of her own. With a feral cry, she plunged her fangs into Aria's inner thigh, drawing blood from the nearest source. Aria bucked at the pain, throwing Elaine off of her as she cried out. But the pain soon turned to pleasure and she died from the ecstasy more than the loss of blood.

Having finally tasted the hot, red liquid she so desperately needed, the edge was taken off of Diana's need and she finally regained her facilities. She backed away from Aria, leaving the warrior woman to Elaine, and watched as Richie rode her lover to the brink of a frenzy of his own. And idea forming in her mind, she crawled over to Richie and whispered in his ear.

Richie nodded his assent as he pulled out of Methos. He flipped the older man onto his back while Diana tied Methos' hands to the bar.

Methos grinned. "I think I like where this is headed." He pulled his knees up to his chest, spreading them apart to give Richie easier access.

Diana stood over Methos while Richie knelt at the older man's opening, his cock standing at attention. When it became clear that it wasn't going to quite work, they grabbed some of their clothes and piled them under Methos' hips, raising them up. Once he was high enough, Richie entered him again.

Methos wrapped his legs around Richie's waist, crying out. "YES!"

Diana let Richie find his rhythm again and then impaled herself on Methos' cock, facing Richie. She tossed her head back and moaned as he buried his head in her breasts.

Elaine ignored them, turning her attention to Aria. She licked away the blood that was still seeping from the brunette's thigh, then worked her way up to her lover's groin. She licked and sucked on the clitoris, enjoying all the flavors that mixed there.

Aria awoke with a moan. She watched Elaine work her for awhile, then grabbed the blonde's hips. Elaine moved without being told, placing her own groin over Aria's mouth. The warrior woman's tongue lashed out, tasting the treasure nestled between the moist blonde curls as they hit a perfectly matched rhythm.

Methos, meanwhile, was being assaulted on all fronts. His position was a little awkward and uncomfortable, allowing neither Richie nor Diana to make complete contact, but it was enough. The feel of Richie moving inside him while Diana moved on top of him was driving the oldest of Immortals to new heights.

Diana cried out as she rode Methos and Richie teased her breasts. This time she was fully aware of both who she was and what she was doing, and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. When Methos hit the point of climax, she bit into Richie's neck.

Methos' entire body shuddered as he came, crying out again and again. He lay there, shaking and sweating, as Richie and Diana removed themselves from his body.

Diana licked Richie's neck, then fingered his hardened cock. "I have alvays enjoyed the passion of youth," she teased.

Richie smiled and kissed her, licking away the mix of bloods on her lips. "Funny, I've always enjoyed the company of an older woman," he replied. He held Diana to him and flipped her onto her back. "What say we spend awhile enjoying each other?"

Diana kissed him as she spread her legs apart. "Methos vas right, you are brilliant."

"Thanks." Richie kissed her again as he entered her.

Elaine and Aria, who had broken apart at Methos' orgasmic cry, looked over at him.

"Lookee, Ari," Elaine said. "He's all nice 'n' gif' wrapped fah us 'n' ev'rythin'."

Aria grinned. "Now wasn't that awful nice of 'em," she replied.

"Well, I do aim to please, ladies," Methos laughed.

The two women shared a glance and pounced. With an unspoken agreement, they immediately repeated the actions they had once used to torture Richie. They kissed their way down his chest, teasing his flesh with one Immortal warm mouth and one vampire cold. Methos moaned in bliss, watching the contrasting heads work him through the lust-filled haze that had colored everything he'd seen for the past few hours. Then Elaine took his cock into her mouth while Aria did the same to his balls. They worked him that way for a while, then switched positions.

Richie was so close to the edge himself that finesse was not one of his current strong points. He fucked Diana hard and fast until they both came, Diana's fangs in his neck as he fed her two of his vital fluids. Then they broke apart, both panting heavily, and watched the others for awhile.

"Boy, if they draw that out for as long as they did me, Methos is in for the ride of his life," Richie said.

"Vell, I don't know about that," Diana teased.

"Okay, present company excluded," Richie replied, laughing. When he'd been in Methos' position, Aria and Elaine had been trying to get their revenge for his seeing both of them at the same time. Then it had been complete torture. But watching it from this angle, it was incredibly erotic. It wasn't long before Richie's erection was back in full force.

"I don't think they'd mind if you joined them," Diana whispered in his ear. "In fact, Aria is disappointed that she is the only one you haven't been vith tonight."

Richie licked his lips. "Then I guess I'd better fix that, huh?" He crawled up behind his Immortal lover while her head was bent over Methos' cock. Then, with a wicked grin Diana's way, he quickly slipped inside Aria from behind.

Aria cried out at the sudden intrusion. As Richie rode her, she quickly forgot what she was doing and sat back against him instead.

"Richie!"

Richie wrapped one arm around Aria's waist, using the other to play with her breasts, teasing her nipples between his fingers. "I love you, Aria," he whispered into her ear.

But all Aria could do was moan in response.

The game interrupted, Elaine got another idea. She untied Methos and he sat up.

"Thanks," he said. He moved towards Diana, but a pair of hands grabbed him, pushing him back down and he found himself gazing into a pair of blue-gold eyes.

"Yah know, it was the oddes' thein," Elaine purred as she climbed on top of him. "All that time Diana was screwin' meh, Ah could have swahn it was yah inside meh instead of hah." She began licking his chest. "Ah say we find out if Ah was right."

Methos moaned. "Far be it from me to -- OH -- stand in the way of scientific advancement," he panted. He grabbed Elaine's hips and held her back before impaling her on his throbbing member.

Diana thought for a moment, then decided to join Aria and Richie. She nuzzled the Immortal woman's neck while teasing the flesh nestled between those brown curls with her fingers.

Aria moaned and grabbed Diana. She wrapped one arm around the vampire and shoved the fingers of the other into the gypsy's depths.

Methos fucked Elaine hard, grasping her hips tight enough to leave marks. This only served to turn her on even more, causing her to growl and purr as she licked and nipped the Immortal's flesh. Finally they came together and Elaine plunged her fangs into his neck. Methos cried out one last time before dying in her arms. The blonde exerted just enough energy to remove herself from his body before collapsing on top of him.

Aria looked over Diana's shoulder. "Elaine?"

She wasn't moving. Aria grew worried. "Richie? Get ya dick out of m'ass and go check on Elaine."

Richie held on just a little longer, the tingling in his groin proving he was close. He pumped hard into Aria, spilling his useless seed as he came. His grip around her waist tightened as he moaned and cried out, then fell against her, tired and spent. Finally, he pulled out and went over to the vampire.

"Elaine?" He gently shook her shoulder.

Elaine slowly opened her eyes. "Richay, wha' happened?" She looked around the room, finally settling on the figure beneath her. "Methos. Right. Help meh up." She held out a hand to Richie.

Richie stood and helped Elaine to her feet. She took a step and fell against him.

"Whoops!" she giggled.

"You okay?" There was something strange about the way Elaine was behaving and it worried Richie until he figured it out. The blonde was tipsy.

"Pahfec'lay fine," she assured him. "Oh Ah will beh as soon as mah head cleahs." She pinched one of his nipples. "Five thousand yeahs is a bit headay tah take in all at once, that's all. Kiss meh," she added, putting her words into action.

Sighing, she pushed away from him. "C'mon, weh might as well get tah wahk cleanin' up while weh wait fah those two tah finish." She pointed to the other two women, who were still going at it. "Why don' yah grab a mop 'n' bucket an' staht on the floor while Ah go sahch fah ah clothin'." She stepped away.

Richie grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "Oh, sure. Make me do all the work."

"It's onlay faah, since yah 'n' Methos made mos' of the mess. 'Sides," she added as an extra incentive, "Ah like the way yah ass moves."

"I see, you want to watch my butt," Richie teased.

"Yeah."

"You like watching my butt," he said.

"'S a great butt." Elaine rubbed up against him. And damned if the redhead wasn't getting turned on again!

Richie backed Elaine up into a table and set her on the edge. "So what else do you like about me?"

"Ah like yah eyes." She reached out, caressing them.

"What else?"

"An' yah mouth." He kissed her palms, sending a shiver through her.

"And?"

"An' yah chest." She lowered her hand to his nipples, fingering them.

"And?"

"An' yah hands." Elaine took one of his hands and placed it between her legs. Richie began stroking her, carefully watching her until her eyes changed to gold.

"Keep going," he instructed.

"But most of all...." A hand moved down to his manhood. "Ah like this."

"You like that, huh?"

"Yeah." The hand slipped around his semi-swollen shaft, stiffening it.

"You want that." Richie placed his free hand behind Elaine on the table, using it for a brace as he leaned over her.

"Need that," Elaine corrected him, guiding him so the tip rested against her opening.

But Richie refused to let it go any further into her.

"How much?" he wanted to know.

Elaine's voice lost its playful tone and took on a more serious, almost desperate one. "Verrah much."

That was the cue Richie had been waiting for. He pulled Elaine tight against him as he thrust into her.

Elaine wrapped her legs around his waist. In a way, she was amazed. She had fed so much this night that she hadn't thought it possible to eat another bite. Yet Richie had managed to arouse her again. But then, Richie had always been able to get more out of her than almost anyone.

God, how she needed him! She could feel the Hunger build as he continued to move inside her, slowly this time, since she was already practically stuffed to the gills.

A noise behind Richie caused Elaine to open her eyes. Diana and Aria had finished -- loudly, of course -- and were now picking a pile of mush named Methos up off the floor. The poor man was exhausted and had to be held up as the three waited for Richie and Elaine to complete their act.

Knowing she was being watched turned Elaine on even more. She always did have an exhibitionist streak in her. Grabbing Richie's head with one hand, she pulled it down for a kiss, her tongue invading his mouth even as his dick invaded her. The other hand was left to rove his body, caressing his flesh, finally settling on one firm butt cheek. She squeezed, silently telling him she wanted more.

Richie had been purposely holding back, wanting to make this one final bout last. Now he increased his pace, thrusting as hard and as fast as he could. Elaine moaned inside Richie's mouth. Her hands tensed, digging into his skin as she neared fulfillment. Richie broke off the kiss, savagely biting her neck, right on the carotid artery. That triggered Elaine's climax and she came with a roar that was only half human before returning the bite.

Elaine's internal contractions started Richie's in turn and he orgasmed, shooting semen deep within her. Finally, the two collapsed against each other, exhausted.

The blonde raised her head, smiled and nudged Richie.

"Kaltock? Look behind yah."

Richie did so, and also grinned.

Aria and Diana were leaning against a table, holding Methos up between them.

All three held score cards. Aria's napkin had an eight written on it. Diana's held a nine. Methos, however, gave them a lower score.

"A THREE?" Elaine shrieked. "YAH GAVE MEH A FUCKIN' THREE???" The irate vampire shoved Richie aside and slowly stalked towards the world's oldest Immortal.

Methos waited until she was almost to him, the revealed his other hand, giving Elaine and Richie a thirteen.

Elaine squealed and jumped him, pushing him out of the other women's arms and onto the table. She spent the next several minutes kissing him, showing him how much she appreciated the score.

Methos groaned at the thought of yet more sex. After tonight's adventures, he was likely to be impotent for a month. He didn't want it extended to a year.

"Don' worrah, mah libidah's connected tah mah stomach," Elaine assured him. "Ah'm stuffed. Ah couldn' get intahrested if yah paraded a hunred naked men in fron' of meh, all raahrin' tah go."

"Good. 'Cause it wouldn't work for me, either," Methos sighed tiredly. "You may have to eat out for awhile, Di."

"Oh, my poor, strong, beautiful Falcon," Diana teased. "Did ve tire you out?"

"Can you say understatement of the millennium?" Methos replied, stifling a yawn. "I may not move from this spot for the rest of the night."

Aria snorted. "Ah, you'll say anythin' to get out of cleanin' up."

"Damn straight," Methos said, only half kidding.

"Not all that straight," Elaine corrected. "Oh did Ah imagine yah 'n' Richay screamin' each othah's names?"

Richie blushed.

"Oh no, you weren't imagining that," Methos replied. "I'm beginning to see what you ladies see in him. Say what you will, Ryan, but you are one hell of a fuck. And I mean that from both ends. Where did you learn to do that thing with your tongue?"

Richie turned an even deeper shade of red.

Diana smacked Methos in the arm. "Falcon, be nice," she hissed. "You are embarrassing him. Not everyone is as free vith sexuality as the gypsy, you know."

"Or the Andraven," Aria added.

Elaine ran a hand down Richie's chest. "Don' worrah about' it, Kaltock," she said. "The wahld would beh a be'ah place if theah wah moah good screws an' that, from the sound of it, was a good screw. Lovin' is lovin', wheahevah yah get it from. Although Ah am a might disappoin'ed y'all didn' invite meh tah join yah."

"Well, you were a bit busy at the time," Methos pointed out. "But there's always next time." He winked at Richie.

Richie just turned even redder.

"C'mon, let's get cleaned up. It's gettin' a might chilly in here and I'd like to get m'clothes back on if'n ya don't mind," Aria said, saving her lover.

"And what if I did mind?" Methos teased.

"I'd introduce your dick to the nearest pencil sharpener," Aria half-threatened. "Even if it happened to be m'sword."

Methos blanched. "Someone find this woman her jeans!"

"Thought you'd see it m'way," Aria grinned.

Methos was still to exhausted to move, so the others got up and started cleaning up and collecting the remnants of their clothes.

Richie went and got the mop and bucket and Diana helped him clean up the floor while Aria and Elaine collected the tossed about bits of clothing.

Elaine sorted through the pile Richie and Diana had used for Methos' pillow. "Lahday, but Ah'd hate tah see the dry-cleanin' bill on these rags. Jus' look at this." She held up a piece of fabric that had been ripped to shreds. It wasn't until she saw the tag that she realized it had once been Richie's T-shirt. "Did Ah do that?"

"Don't you remember?" Richie asked.

"Not reallay," she admitted. "Ah was pahday fah gone at that point. Mos' of it's a blah. Excep' --." She paused, trying to recapture the fleeting memory. "Aria, did Ah hiss at yah?"

"Yes," her lover frowned.

Elaine was horrified. "Ah didn'."

"Ya did."

"That's terrible! Ah'll make it up tah yah, Shalla, Ah prahmise. La'ah," Elaine corrected. "Has anyone seen mah dress?"

"Try looking up," Methos suggested.

She did, and finally found the garment hanging from a ceiling fan.

"How on ahth?" she asked. "Nevah mind. Ah don' wan' tah know."

She walked over to Richie and goosed him.

"Hey!" Richie jumped.

"Ah need a boost. Help meh up." The blonde held out her arms.

"You need a boost?" Richie repeated, not believing it.

"Richay, Ah'm bloated," she explained. "Ah'll beh fine once Ah'm up in the aah, but Ah need help ge'in' off the ground."

The redhead bent over and held out his hands. This put him eye level to Elaine's crotch.

"Don' even think abou' it, Kaltock," she growled. "Ah won' beh Hungray again fah anothah day oh sah."

She placed a foot in Richie's hand and he lifted her, all in one fluid motion. Elaine was in the air almost before he realized it.

He did managed to snatch a kiss on the way up, though.

Elaine retrieved her dress and landed. "Oh, deah." She held up the tattered scrap of fabric. "It appeahs mah clothes ahn' in much be'ah shape then Richay's. Aria, theah's an extrah set of clothin' fah Richay an' mahself in the trunk of the Cadday. Would yah beh a deah an' get them fah us? Aftah yah dressed, a'cahse."

"Ya better bloody well believe I'm not goin' out there till I get m'clothes on," Aria snapped as she searched around the room. "And Methos, where in the bloody hell did ya throw m'damn bra? I swear, I've only got one sock, m'T-shirt's hangin' off one of the blasted lights and I would love to know how in the hell m'undies got on the whiskey bottles."

"I think your bra's in the potted plant over there," Methos said. "Here, I'll go get it." He stood up, slowly and headed over.

"Vhy do you keep clothes in your trunk?" Diana asked Elaine.

"Quickenin's tend tah make Richay 'n' meh real hahnay," Elaine answered. "An' weh don' always have the time fah bu'ons, if yah know what Ah mean."

Diana smiled. "Da, I understand," she replied. "Methos has the same problem."

"Besides," the blonde continued. "In the off chance Ah have tah spend the day in the trunk, it gives meh somethin' nice tah cuddle up tah."

Aria finally managed to find all her clothes and went out to get the bag for Richie and Elaine.

Now that he had a little more strength, Methos got a beer and started putting his own clothes back on.

Coming back in, Aria noticed which one he grabbed first. "You never change, do you, Miasta?" she laughed.

"One must keep one's priorities straight," Methos replied, pulling on his boxers.

Diana held up her shredded panties, shrugged, and threw them away. "Kestrel, vould you hand me my blouse," she asked Aria. "It's on the table behind you."

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Kestrel?"

Methos smiled. "Diana's family has always given each other bird names," he explained. "That's why she calls me Falcon. Duncan is golden eagle, and since she just called you Kestrel, I guess that means you're family now, too."

"Is that true, Diana?" Aria asked.

Diana nodded, starting to blush a little. "Is how I mark those whose songs I like, my friends," she answered quietly. "The ... the people I care about."

Aria smiled. "I like kestrels," she said. "And I'm honored to be part of your family, Diana." She tucked a few strands of hair back into her loose pony tail.

Elaine's head popped out of the dress she was wiggling her way into. "Yah mean it's like how Ah've taken tah namin' mah lovahs in Andraven. Onlay Ah use what they taste like instead of bahds."

"That works with shalla for Aria," Methos agreed. "But doesn't kaltock mean --"

Methos could have sworn the temperature in the room rose ten degrees just from the heat in Elaine's gaze. "Studmuffin. It means studmuffin."

The vampire turned to her elder. "Sirek, yah do realize that Richay, Ari 'n' Ah come as a set."

"Of course, Elaine. You vould be a--"

"Wait a minute," the oldest man alive interrupted. "Don't I get a nickname, Elaine?"

Elaine strolled over to him, her hands clasped together with her index fingers touching her lips and a thoughtful look on her face.

"Well, yah see, theah's jus' one prahblem. Ev'rybody else heah has tasted of mah blood. A'cahse, theah is one way tah cahrect that." The blonde bit into her wrist and held it out in front of him. "If yah wan' tah, that is."

Methos was touched. He knew that to a vampire, their own blood was the most sacred thing they possessed. So for Elaine to offer it when until recently they hadn't even really been friends....

"My lady, I would be honored."

He took her wrist and brought it to his lips, drinking deeply of her essence.

The last time Elaine had offered her wrist to anyone, Aria had been the drinker, so she had missed the expression on the vampire's face.

There was no mistaking it. Elaine's face took on an expression similar to Methos' when Diana had bitten him the first time, and she found herself having to hang onto his neck as she grew light-headed from the sheer pleasure of the act.

"Well?" he asked when it was over.

"Carrah meh ovah tah the table, would yah, Voloki?" she murmured sleepily. "Ah don' wan' tah walk."

Methos shrugged and picked the blonde up. When he got to the table they had used earlier, she showed no sign of getting down, so he sat, still holding her.

Elaine snuggled in his lap. "Mmmm. This is nice. Ah think Ah'll stay heah fah a while."

Gradually, Methos became aware of a strange noise in the room that hadn't been there before. By the time the others joined them, he'd figured out what it was.

"She's purring," he informed them. "Elaine purrs."

"'Cahse 'Laine like Methos. Ari like Methos 'n' Di like Methos, sah 'Laine like Methos. Richay like Methos, too, he jus' don' know it yet."

The blonde curled up tighter against Methos. Purring wasn't the only kittenish quality about her just then.

Elaine had been wondering about something since before the impromptu orgy. Maybe now would a good time to ask it, while everyone was in a contented mood.

"Sirek, do yah remembah when weh wah talkin' abou' clans?" she asked. "What clan would Ah beh?"

Diana thought it over. "Is hard to say. You do not fit any one clan exactly, Hummingbird, but I think --"

"HOLD IT!" Elaine sat bolt upright. "A hummin'bahd?" she repeated. "Yah think Ah'm a damn hummin'bahd? Great. Fahst Ah'm a ki'en, now Ah'm a fuckin' hummin'bahd."

"What's wrong with hummingbird?" Methos asked. "It's cute. Just like you."

"Tell meh somethin', Voloki." Elaine ran a hand sensuously down his arm, then dug in with her nails. "Ah yah attached tah this ahm?"

"OW! Usually."

"Then don' call meh cute." She released her grip, licking the blood from her fingers.

"May I try?" Aria offered.

"Do Ah have a choice?" the vampire sulked.

Four pairs of eyes looked at her. "No."

"Look at it this way, Raltra" the brunette continued. "You're ... petite, right?"

Elaine snarled at her, but acknowledged Aria did have a point.

"An' ya are one of the prettiest things to walk on two legs."

"Welllllll...." Elaine almost smiled. She never could resist a compliment. Especially when it was true.

Aria wasn't quite sure how to phrase the next bit. "And, well, there's no other way to say this but to say it, I suppose. You and a hummingbird both do tend to suffer from a touch of gutter mouth."

The blonde spent the next several minutes demonstrating said gutter mouth before realizing her lover was right.

"All right, yah win, Ah'm a hummin'bahd," she laughed. "Which leaves Richay without a bahd name. Ah've got the pahfect one fah him. A woodpeckah, definitlay."

"Hardy har har," Richie replied.

Diana smiled. "No, actually I vas thinking Cardinal for him," she said. "A noble bird of beautiful color. And is close to his hair."

Richie sighed. "Even when I'm getting complimented I get insulted."

"I am sorry, Richie, I did not mean it like that," Diana said. "Cardinal just seem to fit you is all."

"I guess I can live with that," he shrugged. "So what happened to figuring out a clan for Elaine?"

Diana shrugged. "I do not know vhich clan you vould be, Hummingbird," she replied. "Tell me some of your abilities and I vill see if they fit vhat I know of clans."

"All right," Elaine agreed. "Let's see, weh cn fly, weh have a widah range of senses, weh'ah strongah then mahtals."

"How strong are you, anyway?" Richie asked.

"Tah beh honest? Ah have no ideah," she answered. "Ah've jus' always bin stron' enough tah to whatevah it was Ah needed tah do. Same with speed. Ah'm as fast as Ah wan' tah beh, onlay in that case, the fastah Ah go, the Hungrayah Ah get."

"Speed and strength belong to too many of the clans," Diana said. "I need something more specific."

"Weh'ah all musical, at least fah a hobbay if nothin' else," the blonde continued. "Theah's the Whammay 'n' the Glam...."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Aria asked.

"Hahdlay," Elaine snorted. "The Whammay is the usual 'Yah will do mah biddin'' mind control kind of thin', 'cept it onlay wahks on some mahtals an' not at all on Immahtals. The Glam is what weh use when weh'ah hun'in'. It's saht of like Di's empathay, onlay it's a lot moah intimate, jus' yah 'n' yah victim. An' that wahks on ev'rybody, as fah as Ah cn tell. Sometimes Ah use it, sometimes Ah don', dependin' on the mood Ah'm in at the time."

Diana pursed her lips in thought. "Except for the Vhammy, as you put it, you sound close to Toreador, the artist clan," she said. "Is there anything else?"

Elaine hesitated before admitting the next one. "Sex appeal."

"Sex appeal?" Richie admitted. "Define sex appeal."

The expression Richie had learned was Elaine's substitute for blushing took over her face. "Ah emit cahtin phahromones in much the same way a female animal does when she's in heat," she explained. "It's not somethin' Ah cn help, Ah jus' do it. That's one of the reasons Ah don' like bein' recahded in any fashion. Ah nevah come out the way Ah do in pahson. Sahrah tah spoil the illusion. Hope yah not too disappoin'ed with meh."

"'Laine, would pheromones count for how much we love you?" Aria pointed out. "All that explains is why we can't keep our bleedin' hands off ya."

"I thought that was just normal for us," Richie teased.

"Ve do not have pheromones, but there are those who can make themselves seem more attractive than they really are," Diana said. "I still need more to narrow it down, though."

"Weh'ah somewhat telepathic with othah vampiahs, espec'allay ah bloodlines. At least, mah Mastah cn read mah thoughts an' Ah cn read Simon's. Enfahcahs cn read anybody, but Ah'd rathah not talk abou' them, if yah don' mind," Elaine added with a shudder. "Weh cn feel if a pahson's a vampiah an' if one's been in the areah recentlay. Theah's jus' saht of a feelin' that lingahs, like pahfume in the aah. An' theah's the mem'ray transfah. Like how Ah was able tah bite Richay tonight without killin' him."

"That's right," Richie remembered. "The second time I didn't even pass out. I thought you said you couldn't do that."

Second time? What happened to the first? Oh well, she'd figure it out later. "Ah can'. Diana can," she said, as if that explained everything.

Unfortunately, it didn't. "So?"

"Anythin' Sirek can do, Ah cn do. Fah the nex' couple hoahs, anyway," Elaine explained. "Heah, Ah'll show yah."

The blonde went over to the violin case and, after waiting for and getting her Elder's permission, picked it up. Then she played exactly the same melody they had heard earlier. Even the magik was there.

"That's one of the thin's Ah love abou' bein' a vampiah," Elaine said when she was done. "When weh drink from someone, weh get theah mem'rays an' abilitays. Unfahtunatelay, it all fades aftah a while unless weh make a special effaht tah keep somethin'."

"How much of their memories?" Methos asked warily. Some of the things in his past he knew Elaine wouldn't appreciate. Like his entire life as a Horseman.

"Want me to name all sixty-eight of your wives?" she answered in perfectly accented Sanskrit before switching back to English. "Don' worrah, Voloki. As lon' as yah past remains yah past, Ah don' caah what yah done. Jus' as lon' as it stays yah past."

"Don't worry about that, Elaine," Methos assured her. "Between Diana and Aria, I couldn't go back to that even if I wanted to. And since I don't, it's not a problem."

"Ah'm not worrahed," she said as she put the violin away in exactly the same manner Di had and returned to his lap. "If yah wah still Evil, Ah wouldn' beh si'in' heah. Ah'd beh lyin' on the floah, writhin' in agonay, jus' like Alex."

"Alex?" he asked

"Yeah, yah met hah in Paris. She's the one MacLeod poisoned," the blonde reminded him. "That's one of the reasons Ah don' think vampiahs ah automaticallay damned. If weh wah that evil ahselves, why would Evil make us that sick?"

"What about crosses?" Richie asked.

"Beats the hell out of meh," Elaine admitted. "Mah bes' guess has tah do with crosses bein' both light an' religious symbols. Can' beh jus' one oh the othah, Ah know sev'ral cases that don' fit jus' one."

"Like?" Aria prompted.

"Well, it can' jus' beh religious cause then Ah wouldn' beh able tah read the Bible oh talk abou' God oh Jesus oh any of that," the blonde explained. "An' it can' beh jus' light symbols because mah brothah Neeki likes tah make pain'in's of the sun. Oh the othah hand, Neeki tol' meh he'd once been bahned by an Indian raven daggah an' Tran couldn' stand crosses any moah then the res' of us. What do yah think, Diana?"

Diana shrugged. "I do not know," she answered. "I do not have that problem, so I have never given it much thought."

"Yah cn handle crosses? Ah knew it, Ah knew it. Telepathic paranoia." Elaine burst into a broad grin and did a happy dance on Methos' lap. Suddenly, she stopped and looked at him. "Ah thought yah said yah wahn' up fah that anymoah tonight."

"Elaine, you could turn a dead man on," Methos told her. "Especially if you keep doing that."

The blonde wiggled around some more, until the Immortal was forced to pick her up and place her on the nearest lap -- which turned out to be Diana's. Elaine frowned, she preferred having a larger person underneath her. Before anyone knew it, she had moved over to Richie and Di was on Methos.

"Theah. Much be'ah."

"What did you mean by 'telepathic paranoia,' Elaine?" Richie asked.

"That's the missin' elemen' tah why weh feah crosses," she told them. "Voodoo wahks because both the spell castah an' the victim believe it's real. Same with crosses. Ah don' know a one of us that doesn' deep down believe weh'ah all damed in one way oh the othah, despite what Ah jus' said, mahself included. Spent a whole day talkin' with Jun' abou' it one time. Real intahrestin', even if it didn' come tah much. All it did was explain why Ah haven' been able tah touch the damn thin's even befoah Ah became a vampiah. Had tah do with bein' bi'en fah the fahs' time when Ah was twentay-one."

"You vere bitten before you were Embraced?" Diana asked, surprised.

"Twice, actuallay." The blonde smiled wistfully at the memory. "The fahst time, well, basicallay Ah was tricked. Yah see, Lucien wan'ed tah brin' meh across, but fah vahrious reasons, mos'lay havin' tah do with mah brothah, it had tah beh mah choice. Onlay, bein' a good Southahn gahl, Ah didn' wan' anythin' tah do with a vampiah, it jus' wasn' done. He did a great job cahtin' meh, Ah jus' alreaday had plans fah mah life an' they didn' include a man. Fin'lay, Lucien got tiahed of wai'in' an' set up a trap. Fell fah it hook, line an' sinkah."

Aria snorted. "You fell for some man's trap?" she asked. "Why in the bloody hell do I have such a hard time believin' that?"

"Remembah, this was the eighteen seventays," Elaine reminded her. "The onlay reason Ah knew what sex was at all was because Papa had a camp follahah explain what happened tah meh aftah ah was raped. It wasn' until aftah Ah marrahed Reese that Ah became thoroughlay cahrupted. Ah was an innocent gahl back then."

"Why do I have such a bloody hard time believin' that?" Aria repeated, this time teasingly.

"So what happened the second time you were bit?" Methos asked, urging her to continue the story.

"Simple," Elaine shrugged. "Lucien came back five yeahs aftah Ah had thought him dead. Onlay by that time Ah had a husband an' a kid, sah Ah tol' him tah get lost until Jimmay was oldah. Which he did, but not befoah bitin' meh again."

Methos shook his head, trying to keep it all straight. "Okay, wait a second here," he said. "First you wanted nothing to do with him, then he tricked you into letting him bite you, then you thought he was dead, only he came back later and bit you again." He took a sip of his beer. "Anybody else as confused as I am?"

"Maybeh Ah should staht ovah," Elaine suggested.

"Aye, please do, darlin'," Aria agreed. "Methos isn't the only one here who's gettin' a headache."

"A headache, Shalla?" Elaine's eyes twinkled as a foot crept up the inside of Aria's leg. "It jus' sah happens Ah know a wondahful cuah fah headaches."

Aria shoved the foot off her lap. "Get on with it," she said. "You can do that later."

"All right," Elaine pouted. "Go back tah right aftah Ah was kidnapped. While Ah was bein' romanced aroun' the wahld, mah brothah Nicholah was off prahtendin' tah beh mahtal again. Yah know, that's one thin' Ah have nevah undahstood, why on _ahth_ any of us would wan' tah han' aroun' mahtals the way Neeki does," she shuddered. "Anyway, this time, Nicholah decideed tah become some saht of govahmen' agen' oh somethin'. Tahns out Ah knew his pahtnah." She paused, waiting for someone to ask the obvious question.

"And how exactly did ya know his partner?" Aria obliged.

"Papa had wri'en Gen'ral Grant askin' fah some help with ah hospi'al. This was in eighteen...." Elaine paused to count it out on her fingers. "Sixtay-nine, Ah think, an' the onlay ones who was ge'in' any monay was a bunch of damn niggahs who used it tah buy liquah an' get drunk." Without her realizing it, a tone of bitterness had crept into the blonde's voice. She shook her head clear and continued.

"Anyway, Ah have no ideah what Papa put in that le'ah, but whatevah it was, it ahned us an invitation tah suppah at the White House. Ah couldn' believe the prices in Wahin'ton. It cost five dollahs a _night_ fah Papa an' meh tah stay at the hotel. Would ya believe that? Five dollahs! It was outrageous. Wheah was Ah?"

Aria rolled her eyes, well aware of Elaine's views on history. "You were tellin' us how you know Nick's partner."

"Oh yeah," Elaine smiled at her lover's expression. "As Ah was sayin', Pap 'n' Ah had been invi'ed tah suppah at the White House. Fah some reason Ah nevah undahstood, Ah was sat neah the end of the table right next tah the Gen'ral himself. An' on the othah side of meh was a rathah fetchin' youn' man by the name of James West."

"James West?" Methos interrupted. "Short for a man except for the boots he wore, brown hair, tan, wore blue a lot? He was some type of government agent."

"That's him." Elaine frowned. "Ah take it yah knew the bastahd?"

Methos nodded. "I was employed for a while in the eighteen seventies by a rather eccentric scientist named Loveless."

Elaine gave a screech. "Not Miguelito Quixote Loveless? Was Antoinette with him at the time?"

"Brown hair, liked to sing?"

"That's hah," Elaine nodded. "She still mahtal when yah knew hah?"

"She wasn't a vampire, if that's what you mean," Methos answered.

"Must've been befoah Ah met hah then," Elaine noted. "Was she as easilay cowed when yah knew hah? Ah was able tah boss hah aroun' all ovah the place an' Ah could nevah figah out if it was jus' hah oh because she knew Ah was undah Lucien's prahtection."

"EXCUSE ME!" Aria interrupted loudly, growing impatient with their chatter. "What happened at the dinner?"

Methos and Elaine started at the sound of Aria's voice. History was big enough that learning that two people knew someone in common was a rare occurrence.

"Not much tah tell," Elaine shrugged. "Gran' got drunk an' spilled a drink down mah front. The nex' day weh received a thousan' dollahs an' wah escahted out of town. Ah alreaday tol' yah the impah'an' paht, which was mee'in' West."

"So what's all this got to do with ol' funny hair bitin' ya?" Aria asked, trying to get things back on topic.

"Wel, like Ah said, Neeki decided tah play secret agen' an' woun' up with West as his pahtnah. Ah'm not sure exac'lay what Lucien did, but aftah a week oh sah, weh high-tailed it out of Wahin'ton an' headed out fah some place in the Southwest, alon' with Doctah Loveless an' Antoinette an' a fellah named Ahtemus Gahdon, who was West's usual pahtnah."

She paused to purse her lips. "Ah am afraid Loveless an' Ah nevah got alon'. Fah some reason Ah took a real dislike tah him an' stahted critisizin' sev'ral of his theahrays. Well, they was jus' plain ridiculous. I mean, takin' ovah the wahld by givin' its leadahs a potion made out of vampiah blood? Honestlay!"

"But typical of Loveless," Methos interjected. "The time I worked for him, he came up with an insecticide in order to convince the local Indian population to help him take over the United States."

"Sounds like the time Loveless was playin' Robin Hood. Too bad Ah wasn' theah, Ah would've loved seein' yah in those tights," Elaine giggled. "Anyway, weh wah theah fah abou' a month when West an' Neeki arrived. Lucien stuck West in mah room an' lef' meh tah gahd him. An' Ah should've been suspicious right then 'n' theah, because West had a real reputation with the ladays. Even meh, what Ah remembahed from the one time weh'd met was goin' out intah the gahden tah aah out mah dress an' comin' across him makin' out with the daughtah of one of the ambassadahs."

There was another pause. "Anyone caah tah take a gandah as tah what happened next?"

"Oh, I think I got a pretty good idea," Aria teased.

"West kissed meh," Elaine nodded. "Nex' think Ah knew, Lucien had a grip on his throat, playin' the jealous lovah tah the hilt. Ah tahned roun', gave Lucien whatfoah, an' when that didn' wahk, ended up takin' the bite mahself. Well, Ah couldn' le' Lucien kill him, could Ah? Even if he was a Yank."

Methos snorted. "You should have let him finish the job," he said.

Diana smacked him. "Do not listen to my love the cynic," she told Elaine. "You did the right thing."

"Doesn' ma'ah anyway," the blonde shrugged. "It's too late now tah change what happened. An' as it tahned out, it was a good thin' Ah didn', cause othahwise mah Nat would nevah have been bahn an' a lot of us would beh dead. Anyway, events aftah that ah a li'le confused, but Ah do remembah Wes' an' Gahdon tryin' tah drag meh out of the buildin' an' meh tellin' them tah go tah hell. Ah alsah remembah realizin' Ah was in love with Lucien an' it would nevah wahk as lon' as Ah was mahtal. Weh was jus' se'in' abou' cahrectin' that when Neeki bahst in the room an' got all 'not with mah sistah, yah don'.'"

Trying to follow the story left Aria feeling like a drowning woman in desperate need of a life preserver. "Wait a second, 'Laine," she said. "I thought you told me you were an only child."

Elaine shifted in Richie's lap. "Ah was. Mama died when Ah was three an' Papa nevah remarrahed. It's jus' Neeki wahked in Papa's hosp'al fah a couple of yeahs, an' he's always fel' like a saht of big brothah tah meh. An' Neeki's always thought of meh as a li'le sistah. Neeki's the ovahprahtective type, anyway, sah when he saw Lucien abou' tah bite meh, it wen' tah his head."

Aria had a feeling Elaine wasn't telling the whole story, but decided to let it pass. This story had had enough side-tracks as it was, one more and something lethal would happen. "Okay, so funny hair put the bite on ya, you decided to become a vamp, only Nicky went batty on ya," she recapped. "What happened to keep you from goin' over, then?"

"Ah'm ge'in' theah, Shalla. Patience. Now while Lucien an' Ah wah discussin' brin'in' meh across, the buildin' weh was in had somehow caught fiah an' by the time Neeki arrived, it had spread tah us. Neeki pulled meh away from Lucien jus' as the ceilin' came crashin' down on top of him." There was another pause as Elaine relived the moment.

"And?" Methos prompted.

She shrugged. "Ah wen' home. Neeki had meh convinced that Lucien was dead, an' West an' Gahdon agreed not tah have meh arrested, which they could have done, seein' as how Ah was an accomplice tah the kidnappin' of a fedahral agen', sah theah was nothin' else fah meh tah do. Papa an' Ah le' out a stahrah that Ah had eloped with the man ev'ryone had seem meh leave the pahtay with, but he'd been caught in an acciden' an' died. It was close enough tah the truth that people believed it. Oh at least pretended they did. An' that was supposed tah beh the end of it."

"But, of course, it wasn't," Aria added for her.

"Who's tellin' this stahrah?" Elaine snapped. "A'cahse, it wasn'. Ah'm heah, ain' Ah? Now Ah suppose yah'll beh wan'in' tah heah about' the secon' bite."

"Touchy, touchy," Aria replied. "And since you brought it up...."

"It's mah stahrah, Ah'll tell it the way Ah wan'." Elaine moved from Richie's lap to Aria's. "Unless yah could prahvide meh with some incentive tah hurrah, Shalla?" she asked, her nose about an inch from the brunette's face.

Aria leaned in and gave her a passionate kiss. "How's that?"

"That wahks." Elaine returned to snuggling. "Fah the second bite, yah have tah move fahwahd abou' five yeahs. By this time, Ah was marrahed with one kid. Jimmay was yah typical foah yeah ol' an' while Reese tended tah yell a lot, that was all he'd done up tah that point. All thin's considahed, Ah came out of mah li'le a'ventah a lot be'ah off then Ah'd had any right tah beh."

"I wouldn't say that," Aria said, kissing the blonde gently on the cheek.

"But Ah was," Elaine protested. "The bite lef' meh with an ovahlay passionate natah, but as it tahned out, Reese was hopin' Ah was like that when he marrahed meh. An' it wasn' like Ah had much of a choice. Ah simplay had tah have a husband."

"Vhy in the vorld vould you have to do that?" Diana asked, confused.

"Ah'll show yah." Elaine got off Aria's lap and went outside. A few minutes later, she returned, carrying an old photograph.

"Take a look," she said, handing it to Methos before returning to Richie's lap. "It's a rathah ... remahkable resemblance, Ah've always thought."

Methos looked carefully, then it hit him. "My word, he looks just like West!" he started. "I take it the somber SOB behind you is your husband? No wonder you preferred the vampire."

"Yah knew Reese?" Elaine growled.

"By reputation and file only," Methos very quickly assured her. "I saw the name mentioned in MacLeod's file so I went hunting. All I can figure was that Reese must have been one hell of an actor if he managed to fool Duncan into teaching him."

Aria jumped at that. "Duncan was Reese's teacher?" she asked in surprise. "Well ain't that just the final piece of the puzzle."

Diana's face clouded with further confusion. "Vhat are you two talking about?"

"Ah came home from mah li'le a'ventah pregnant," Elaine explained. "Ah don' know how it is amon' gypsays, but theah was no way Ah could have raised the babay by mahself, even in widah weeds."

"You have seen the tanana's influence," Diana answered. "Vhen even children are taught the dance, it is ... hard to hide one's sexuality. Ve are used to children coming outside of marriage. And vhen you travel vith your clan, whole family raise baby, not just mother and father. So is no reason to raise child by self."

"Sounds like Ah'd've been be'ah off as a gypsay, then," Elaine said. "As it was, jus' bein' seen leavin' the pahtay with a man was enough tah ruin meh sah no decen' pahson would go neah meh. That's why Papa an' Ah came up with the widah stahrah. It allowed meh tah keep mah head up when Ah wen' out in public."

"Amazin' the bullshit we women get put through," Aria sighed. "That is one good thing about the twentieth century, I tell ya."

Diana turned Methos' hand towards her so she could see the picture. "Did you love him?" she asked.

"Why would Ah have loved Reese? Ah baahlay even knew him befoah weh got hitched." Elaine shrugged. "Oh, he was nice enough befoah the babay was bahn, but aftah weh moved tah the othah side of the terahtahrah, it became verrah cleah that weh didn' have much in common. One of the fahs' thin's Reese did was take away all mah books. Said he didn' wan' meh thinkin' too much an' hah'in' Jimmay oh ruinin' mah chances of havin' anothah babay."

Now it was Richie's turn to be stunned. "He thought you could hurt Jimmy by thinking too much?" he asked. "What was it with that bastard?

"I don't think it had much to do with Reese bein' a bastard," Aria replied. "Women weren't supposed to have brains back then. I once had this guy convinced I was a witch because I could actually discuss politics better than some men."

"I remember that," Methos agreed. "Of course, that guy was a complete idiot, but it was a pretty common opinion in the nineteenth century."

Richie shook his head. "Thank God I was born in the seventies."

"Ah'd rathah find some othah deitay tah thank, if yah don' mind," Elaine said. "While Ah may discuss Him philosophicallay, God an' Ah ah not exactlay on speakin' tahms, if yah know what Ah mean. An' as fah complete idiots, that was one thin' yah couldn' say abou' Reese. He was real smaht when he wan'ed tah beh, he jus' got a li'le carrahed away with some of his ideahs, that was all. An' he always knew exactlay how tah get people tah like him, he was real slick that way."

Aria shook her head. "The more I hear about this slimeball, the gladder I am that Richie killed him before I ever met him," she sighed. "Mainly because I would have hated ruinin' m'best huntin' leathers with his blood while I skinned the son of a bitch alive."

"Actuallay, yah prahbablay would have liked him back then an' hated meh," Elaine contradicted her, shaking her head slightly. "Ev'ryone else did. Ah don' know how he did it, but whenevah trouble happened, Reese us'allay ended up smellin' like roses an' Ah us'allay ended up tah blame. Like that inciden' with Jimmay. Nobody remembahed Reese givin' Jimmay a thrashin' with his belt, jus' meh threa'enin' tah blow Reese's brains out."

"Every once in a while, the fact that I'm the only one around here who once had a normal life really makes me nauseous," Aria sighed.

"Nahmal life, Shalla?" Elaine teased. "A village of wahiahs, with hahdlay any men? That's real nahmal. 'Sides, if any of us'd had a nahmal life, weh wouldn' beh heah now."

"Well, normal bein' a relative term here," Aria corrected herself. "I think mine was rather normal."

"She's got a point there," Methos added. "She is the only one of us who had a happy childhood, although Di's wasn't too bad. She was just a bit of an outsider." He took a sip of beer. "At least I think Ari's the only one, at any rate. I don't exactly remember mine. I don't exactly remember a lot of my life, come to think of it."

"Yeah, Ah did notice yah had a few holes theah, Voloki," Elaine said. An odd image suddenly hit her. "Methos, yah wah a slave dahrin' the Roman Empiah, wahn' yah?"

"Yeah, at least a couple of times," he nodded. "I was also a slave during the Greek Empire and a couple other empires as well. What's your point?"

"One of yah mastahs -- oh, now, this is too funnay." The blonde started cracking up.

"What?" Richie asked, hating to miss out on any joke.

She waved her hand in front of her face, trying to catch enough of a breath to speak. "Methos, one of yah mastahs was a Roman gen'ral named Lucius Divius Crucifictah, right?"

Aria did a quick translation. The name seemed familiar....

"He took yah with him tah Gaul, onlay y'all wah ambushed an' yah got killed," Elaine continued. "Lucius was verrah upset by this an' ahdahed his troops tah attack any Gauls they came across. Then la'ah, aftah yah revived, he saw yah, thought yah wah a ghost an' begged yah tah stay with him." She laughed again, the image being almost too incredible to believe. "Yah tol' him yah couldn' stay, makin' up some nonsense abou' wan'in' tah see him one las' time, an' lef'. He spen' some time crushin' the res' of the Gauls in the areah an' then wen' home tah Pompay jus' in time fah the volcanah tah ahrup'. Right?"

Methos shrugged. "More or less," he answered. "I mean, I don't know what happened during the time I was dead and after I left, but that sounds about right."

"Evah wondah what happened tah him aftah Vesuvius blew its top?" she asked.

"He died," Methos shrugged again. "Either at Pompeii or somewhere else."

"Would it sahprize yah tah lahn he's alive 'n' well?" Elaine said. "Well, not alaive, exactlay, but definatelay well. He's cahrentlay a night time disc jockay in Torontah undah the name 'Nightcrawlah.'"

This time, the name was recognized. "Isn't that your Master?" Richie asked.

"Un huh." Elaine's eyes twinkled. "Which make us, Voloki, fam'lay, in a bizaah saht of way."

"Family? Doesn't that make what we just did incest?" Richie teased.

"Not fah a vampiah. Hell, Ah don' even think mah Nat would beh incest, theah's enough of a distance between us. Not that she'd beh intahrested in meh, she practicallay flipped when Ah tol' hah abou' Aria," Elaine mused. "A'cahse, yah nevah know abou' someone who han's out with dead bodays fah a livin'. Have Ah mentioned mah great great grandaughtah's a coronah? Mah mahtal one, Ah mean."

Richie and Aria rolled their eyes. Elaine had just turned into the proud grandmother again. If they weren't careful, she'd bring out the pictures soon.

"Elaine," Richie interrupted. "I'm sure they don't want to hear about your grandchildren."

"It must have been nice to have a family," Diana sighed morbidly.

"Depends on the fam'lay," Elaine snorted.

"Didn't you have one, Diana?" Richie asked.

Diana snorted bitterly. "I had family, until I became monster," she answered. "Vampire are anathema to gypsy. I vent to them after I vas Embraced. I tried to hide vhat I had become, but they knew. They knew the moment I stepped into the camp and I vas cast out. I vas alvays the different one, alvays the loner. They said I attracted the dark forces by my vanton vays and that I cursed myself. They alvays said my empathy vas dark magik and now I pay for that vith the existence that vas forced upon me."

"Why do mahtals always think that if anythin's the leas' bit diff'rent it has tah beh evil?" Elaine asked, rolling her eyes. "Vampiahism is a physical condition. Jus' like leprosay an' AIDS an' Ah'm sure yah empathay is, too. Might beh rathah fun tah find out."

Diana snorted again. "Is not physical condition, is curse, plain and simple," she replied. "I am an abomination. I should not be valking the earth, I should have died."

Elaine stared at Diana. Not again. Visions of her brother flashed before her eyes. "Did it nevah occah tah yah, that God wan's yah tah beh a vampiah an' yah doin' exac'lay what He intended?"

"If God vanted me to be like this, then vhy vas I forced into this existence against my vill?" Diana countered. "Vhy vas I not given a choice or told the truth as you vere? Vhy vas I given the ability to vork the magik of life, only to have it taken from me? I do not think I vas meant to be this vay," Elaine."

"Because weh need yah," the blonde answered. "One of these days, despite the Code an' the Enfahcahs, some idiot is goin' tah reveal ah existence tah the wahld. Then weh'ah goin' tah need 'mahral' vampiahs like yahself tah prove weh'ah not the blood-thahstay monstahs legend has declaahed us tah beh. Ah'm wahkin' on the scientific end of it, but mos' people won' evah heah of mah wahk, le' alone undahstand it. Yah the one who's goin' tah preven' the massacahs.

"As fah not knowin' oh bein' given a choice, Ah may have had have an ideah of what Ah was ge'in' intah, but as fah as Ah know, Ah'm the onlay one who's evah had, an' that was onlay because of some verrah unusual cahcumstances," she continued. "Fah mos' of us, it's whamp, bamp, yah a vamp. Sah yah hahdlay unique theah."

"But is different for my kind," Diana said, despair clouding her voice. "Ve vork hard to keep the Masquerade. If it vere ever broken, anarchy vould reign. No one breaks the Masquerade, no matter how twisted their beliefs. Besides, who vould ever listen to me? Vhen I vas mortal, all anyone saw vas gypsy trash. Until my Falcon, at least. Now they either see me as gypsy trash or as a monster. Either vay, I am nothing."

Elaine looked like she was just about to slap Diana. "Don' yah evah say that," she growled. "It's not true, it nevah was true an' it nevah will beh true. Ev'rybody has some value, whethah it's a livin' hist'ray book," she pointed at Methos, "the last sahvivah of a charentlay dead religious cultah," Aria, "an ex-street punk tryin' tah help othahs avoid the life he lived," Richie, "an ex-whoah tahned scientis'," herself, "oh a musican," Diana. "An' jus' because a bunch of ignahren', supahstitious peasants thought othahwise does _not_ mean yah should believe them. If anyone's a monstah, they ah -- the ones who kill each othah out of feah an' hatred an' jus' fah the hell of it. Not us. Weh'ah diff'ren'. That's all."

"Don't you see, Diana," Methos took over, pleading. "That's what I've been trying to tell you since the day we met. You keep asking me if I think you're worthy of me, and you know what? You aren't. You deserve someone better than me. You deserve someone who didn't spend his past as a murdering bastard. You deserve someone who would have realized what you were and cherished you while you were still mortal instead of letting you slip through his fingers. You deserve someone who can get through to you and really make you see that you're not trash, you're not a monster, you're not nothing. You're the same beautiful princess I saw standing on that platform, pouring her very soul into a violin. You just made a change in your dietary habits."

While Elaine and Methos were talking, bloody tears started streaming down Diana's face. "A change in my dietary habits?"

Methos grinned, tears of his own threatening to spill over. "So it's a bad joke, but you know what I mean."

"Diana, out of all of us here, I'm the only one who knows Methos as well as you do," Aria said. "And I know that he wouldn't still love you, that he wouldn't go after you so much if he didn't think you deserved it."

Diana sighed. "I see your logic, but it is so hard," she replied. "Everything around me changes, but I stay the same. The vorld, the vorld is so different now from vhen I vas mortal. I do not think I vas made for immortality. I try, sometimes I even think I might be doing some good. But in the end it is alvays the same. I sense the fear, the hatred, the disgust. I hear the curses of my people vhen they realized vhat I had become. And I do not know vhat to do other than endure."

"But yah've done moah then jus' enduah. Yah've bea'en 'em," Elaine said. "Yah've taken what they said abou' yah an' yah've shoved it back in theah faces an' yah've shown them that they wah wron'."

She walked around the table, knelt down and took Diana's head in her hands. "An' yah can change. It's hahd, Ah know, but it can beh done. Yah should have seen the mess Ah was befoah Richay found meh. Ah may have had mah wahk, but that was all Ah had. Between mah husband an' mah Mastah, Ah thought Ah was good fah only one othah thin'. Then Ah found Joe again an' he intrahduced meh tah Richay an' now Ah have three people who caah fah meh. Ah still have mah nightmaahs, but that's all they ah now, nightmaahs."

By now, Diana wasn't the only one with red streaks running down her face.

"All it takes is trust," Elaine continued. "Trust an' belief. Trust that Methos knows yah be'ah then a group of people who couldn' see pas' the teeth 'n' the eyes. An' belief that he loves yah as much as he says he does. Blood can' lie. Yah know that.

"Cn weh change the subjec' now? Ah try tah make it a rule not tah beh serious fah moah then ten minutes at a time."

Diana pulled a scrap of fabric out of her bodice and handed it to Elaine. "Methos has alvays said I feel too much," she said. "Sometimes I just don't feel the right things."

"No, it's more like you just don't know when to stop feeling them," Methos corrected.

"Be thankful or I vould not still be in love vith you," Diana pointed out.

Aria laughed. "She's got you there, Miasta," she said. "I knew there was a reason I was beginnin' to like ya, Diana. You may seem small and fragile, but ya sure know how to keep Methos on his toes."

Diana wiped away her tears. "One doesn not live over thirteen hundred years vithout a vill like iron," she answered. "One does not put up vith Methos for long vithout one, either."

Methos rolled his eyes. "I feel so loved right now," he sighed sarcastically. "I really do."

"Then how 'bou' feelin' loved someplace else?" Elaine said suddenly. "Ah hate tah break up the pahtay, but dawn's comin' in abou' thahtay minutes. Ah don' know how Sirek handles sunlight, but it tends tah tahm meh intah ashes. Yah welcome tah spend the day at mah place, a'cahse."

"I do not handle it vell," Diana answered. "Aside from it being just as lethal for me, I ... sleep during the day."

"Turn into a corpse you mean," Methos said.

"If you vant to be crude about it, da," Diana snapped. "I turn into a corpse vhen the sun rises and am about ready to pass out as ve speak. Are you happy now, Methos?"

Methos kissed her passionately. "Now I am.

Diana smiled, her anger forgotten. "Vhy do I put up vith you?"

"Because I love you," Methos answered, kissing her again. "But, if you don't mind Diana turning into a paperweight, I don't think we'd mind going to your place, Elaine. According to Ari, it is closer and I don't feel like trying to carry Diana's body from the parking garage to our hotel room. Especially with all the windows I'd have to pass along the way."

Diana elbowed him in the ribs. "Thank you for the invitation, Elaine," she said. "Ve vould be honored to be velcomed into your home."

"All se'led them. Yah'll beh pleasd tah know weh have an undahground gahrage an' as fah Diana...." Elaine's eyes took on an impish quality. "Ah say weh stick hah in the pool an' use hah fah a flotation device. Ah'm in the mood fah a swim anyway."

Diana shot Elaine a dirty look. "That might vork if I did not sink."

"I've seen it," Methos said, backing her up. "She fell asleep in the bathtub one time before I could get her out and it was total lead-weight time."

"Maybe we could use her for a doorstop," Richie shrugged.

"And perhaps I vill take my chances vith the sun," Diana hissed.

"And maybe we should all get goin' while Richie and Methos try to get their feet outta their mouths?" Aria suggested, grinning.

"Is that what that is?" Elaine asked. "Ah thought it was all that beah he drinks."

Methos rolled his eyes while Diana smiled. "I knew there vas reason I liked you two," she laughed.

And with that, they headed out.

THE END

Double Background courtesy of THE Background Boutique.