DISCLAIMER: Guess what? We're ba-ack. Well, I am, anyway, along with Elaine, a few other original characters, plus some not-so-original characters. You can sort out which is which, right?

Peter went through the box, searching for his old lockpicks.

He knew they were there someplace -- Pop never threw anything out and this was the last of the boxes they had brought down from Seacouver.

Hang on. Something wasn't right here.

"ELAINE!"

"Yes?" His wife appeared at his side.

"What the hell is going on here?" he asked. "Paul would have killed me if he'd ever caught me with lockpicks, Pop never needed them, I don't need them, and I've never even heard of this Seacouver place. It sounds like some bad cross between Seattle and Vancouver."

Elaine Forrester Lambert Caine smiled. "It's the annual Christmas pahtay," she said, as if that explained everything.

"What annual Christmas party?"

"The one Kat an' Liz always write. Onlay this yeah, it's jus' Liz writin', because Kat wen' an' got hahself a life, an' is consequentlay too busay fah such frivolitay as this."

"And we've done this before?" The idea slowly worked its way through Peter's head. Not that it made any sense.

"Well, Ah have. This is yah fahst pahtay. Wan' some advice?"

"Sure?"

"Don' try an' figah it out. Jus' let thin's happen, an' ansahs us'allay provide themselves if they'ah needed. Besides," Elaine walked over and put her arms around Peter's neck. "Weh both know, Petah Petah, Ah didn' marrah yah fah yah brains."

"You didn't, Pumpkin?" Peter said, asking the required question.

"Nope."

A knock prevented them from going any further.

"Not interrupting anything, am I?" Nat walked into the room, a smirk on her face.

"A'cahse not," Elaine answered, zipping Peter's pants up as she stepped away from him. "Why evah would yah think that?"

"Oooh, probably because I've been in every one of these stories except for last year's, and you always try to push it past pg-13," Nat answered. "I'm back to being miserably single, and I'm not having any of it this time."

"I thought you were dating Kermit," Peter said, surprising himself. Five seconds ago, he hadn't know that. But then, five seconds ago, he hadn't known who Nat was. But he did now.

"Kermit's playing with his own joystick from now on," the brunette answered in a 'don't ask' tone. "He just arrived, along with a few others. Mind if I hide out in the kitchen with you and Lo Si for a while, Grandma?"

"A'chahse. Yah cn help taste the lotus blossom bahbon balls."

As Elaine let her out of the room, Nat shot Peter a look of pure terror. He didn't blame her one bit. While most of Elaine and Lo Si's efforts to combine Chinese and Southern cooking had eventually worked, it usually had taken more than a few disasters to get there. Nat probably would have been better off facing Kermit.

Peter found Kermit in a corner, looking at the Caines' CDs.

"Interesting collection," the mercenary commented. "I didn't know Josquin des Prez wrote boogie-woogie."

"Nick wrote that one," Peter told him. "Pop thought it might help Fleur and Elaine integrate easier."

"That explains 'When Johnny Comes Waltzing Home Again'," Kermit commented, putting the disc back on the shelf. "How's that going?"

"Better than anyone expected. Sometimes she goes whole days now without switching. Peter paused and scratched behind his ear. "Speaking of Elaine...."

Kermit grimaced. "Yeah, I saw her and Natalie go into the kitchen. I'm not too worried, though. Didn't you say Elaine'd given up ripping people throat's out for Lent?"

"Well, yeah, but....."

Peter stopped as a loud outburst in Chinese drew their attention. The two men watched as Lo Si left the kitchen, turning just in time to catch a knife flying at his chest. The Ancient then bowed, tucked the knife into his belt and went over to them.

"On second thought, I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year," Kermit quipped. "This is better?"

"Mostly," Peter answered. "She's just a little stressed over tonight's party."

"Plus she is unable to take some of the herbs we have been giving her, because of her delicate condition," Lo Si added.

Kermit's eyes popped out over his glasses. "Again? Aren't the dozen you already have enough?"

"You try telling Elaine no when she wants something." Peter managed to put a pained expression on his face. Then he broke into a smile. "And I think you've just given me the way to snap her out of her mood. Thanks." Clapping Kermit on the shoulder, he left the room.

A few minutes later he returned, carrying a small boy on his hip, and leading a slightly older girl with his other hand. Stopping outside the kitchen, he squatted down to put the boy on the floor. He then gave the two their instructions and sent them inside.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Kermit asked Lo Si. "I don't want to find Caine potpie on the menu tonight."

"It is perfectly safe," the Ancient assured him. "Elaine would never hurt a child, especially her own. Watch."

Still skeptical, Kermit did as he said. Sure enough, a few minutes after they had disappeared, the children returned, with a laughing Elaine in tow.

"You, sah, ah a verrah evil man," she told her husband, as the three stopped in front of him.

"Evil, huh?" Peter grinned.

"Verrah, verrah evil," she insisted, eyes twinkling. "Ah love you."

"I love you, too." Peter gave her a kiss, which quickly deepened.

And deepened, until the boy had to tug on his parents' legs to get their attention.

"Yes, KC?" Peter sighed.

"Unk Met!"

"Ah'll take him," Elaine offered, picking the boy up and settling him on her hip. "Ah need tah apologize tah Lo Si anayway."

"Sure. Want me to take Carrie?"

Briefly thinking it over, she shook her head. "Bettah not. She'll help keep meh grounded, if KC ends up with Kahmit."

"Okay. Just promise me you won't kill him. I need my partner." Peter gave her one last kiss, then one each for KC and Carrie, and sent them on their way.

"Hide me," Kermit suddenly blurted out, looking out over the Ancient's shoulder.

Lo Si turned to look, and smiled. "I do not think you have to worry. It is I she was angry with."

"Not her. What's on her hip," the former mercenary corrected. "My nose barely survived his sister. I don't want KC starting on it."

"Then pahhaps yah should let him have it a few times, sah he'll get boahed with it," Elaine suggested. "It was onlay yah tryin' tah keep it from Carray that sah entranced hah. Heah."

The next thing Kermit knew, he was holding the boy in his arms. KC smiled at him, reached up -- and pulled off Kermit's glasses and stuck one of the lenses in his mouth.

"I think your nose is safe," Lo Si noted, keeping a straight face.

"Thanks. Want him?"

"Ah think he'd beh bettah stayin' wheah he is as long as he's happay," Elaine decided. "If yah still have him when weh talk, Ah'll take him back then."

"Great." Kermit didn't know which was worse -- watching his glasses turn into a high-priced teething ring, or having to go over every inch of his relationship with Nat, with Elaine. "I'm looking forward to it. C'mon kid, let's go raid the buffet. I'll teach you how to eat olives off your fingers."

Once they had gone, Elaine turned to the Ancient. "An' Ah owe yah an apologay," she told him. "Upset as Ah was ovah the sweet potatah wontons, Ah still shouldn't have threatened tah embowel yah head."

"It is all right, my dear. No harm done. I believe this is yours?" Lo Si took Elaine's knife out of his belt and handed it to her.

"Thank yah." Elaine took the knife and it quickly disappeared. "Ah probablay should stay out of the kitchen fah a while," she realized sadly.

"It would be for the best," the Ancient agreed. "You have enough to worry about with your guests, and they are not as good knife-catchers as I. I will deal with the food."

"A'right. Jus' promise meh yah won' use rice wine on the cherrays jubilay."

"I promise."

Elaine gave him a kiss on the cheek, then picked up Carrie to do the same. Then the door bell rang.

"Ah'll get it, Petah," she announced, placing her daughter on her hip.

The first to arrive were the Blakes. Elaine greeted them with a hug each. "Marah Mahgret, wheah evah did yah get that coat? Ah love it!"

"Isn't it great?" Mary Margaret turned so Elaine could get a better look. "The best part is, after the baby's born, I can take out the center panel and keep on wearing it."

"An' heah Ah was hopin' tah borrah it when yah wah done with it," Elaine mock-pouted. "Maybeh Ah could ask whoevah knit yahs?"

Blake quickly looked at the buffet and back to Elaine. "We promised we wouldn't tell," he said. "Sorry."

"Don't beh. A promise is a promise, an' Ah won' let yah break yahs. Readay tah become a fathah yet?"

Blake suddenly took on the appearance of a deer caught in headlights.

"Don' worrah, yah'll do jus' fine," Elaine assured him. "Jus' look at the wondahful job Petah has done."

"Yeah, but Peter has his father and the Ancient to help," Blake reminded her.

"An' yah do, as well. Don' beh afraid tah ask if yah need it."

"Ask for what?" A pair of blondes arrived at the door.

"Blakie's worried about this." Mary Margaret swung her belly at them.

"Good thing I picked the right wine then," one of the blondes said, handing a bottle to Elaine.

"Thanks, Joday." Elaine gave her a hug, then the other. "An' Jahdan. Petah's inside, why don' y'all go say hi."

"Already on our way," Mary Margaret said, as the four came inside.

The Strenlichs were next to come, along with the Knight-Simms and the rest of the precinct.

Then came Donnie Double D and Lulu, Master Khan, Riker and his daughter, and pretty much everyone Peter and Kwai Chang Caine had ever known. This proved to be interesting, as several hither-for unknown look-alikes were discovered. Two of Peter's ex-girlfriends, Mel and Xenia, for example, turned out to be dead ringers for Nick's former sister, Janette.

There was one remarkable missing person, though. Annie Blaisdell never showed. This upset Peter, so he asked his sister Kelly about it.

"I don't know, Peter," she answered. "Mom said she'd be here, but she wouldn't let Caroline or me pick her up. She said she was getting a ride from someone else."

By eight o'clock the party was in full swing. About half of the guests were centered around on one side of the room, listening, and singing along with, Kwai Chang Caine, TJ and Nick alternating solo and duet playing the piano.

Most of the others were munching on the buffet, of course. But there were a few exceptions. Nickie Elder had cornered Nat, who was desperately trying to convince him now was not the time to talk shop. One of the Caines' foster sons, Andrew, and Amy Lambert were hitting it off a little too well, and kept ducking behind the Christmas tree whenever they thought nobody was looking. Lo Si flitted between the kitchen and the buffet, making sure everything was just right.

Midway through the evening, Elaine and Kermit, sans Carrie or KC, left for another part of the house for a private talk. At first, Elaine was angry with both Kermit and Nat, but after a while she decided they really didn't belong with each other and would have just made each other miserable if they had stayed together.

Annie Blaisdell finally arrived about half past eleven. And she wasn't alone.

"Petah, yah Mom's heah," Elaine announced. "An' she brought a boyfriend."

"I'm hardly a boyfriend," the man told her.

"A'cahse, yah ah," she answered. "Jus' because yah marrahed doesn' mean yah stop coahtin'."

"She's got you there, Paul," Annie laughed.

"Funny, I thought you did," he returned.

Over at the buffet, Peter was busy remembering how to close his mouth. "Paul?" he gasped, not believing his eyes. "How?!?!

"That's right, this is your first Christmas party, isn't it?" Nick remembered. "THEY like bringing back lost loved ones."

"THEY? Oh, right, Kat and Liz. So Paul's dead then?" A mixture of sadness and relief filled Peter. He was going to miss his foster father, but at least he knew Paul's fate. And he got to see him one last time.

"Most likely, but not necessarily. He could just out of touch someplace too far to travel from. I don't think SHE's made up her mind yet."

"So what is he? Schroedinger's foster father?"

"Something like that." Nick clapped his brother-in-law on the shoulder. "Come on, you can introduce me."

Easier said than done, it turned out. As soon as the Blaisdells had stepped inside, they'd been swarmed by members of the precinct. _Everybody_ wanted to catch up.

After several minutes, Blaisdell put a stop to the chatter. "ENOUGH!" he said, holding his hands up for silence. "I need to talk to my son."

The crowd immediately parted to let him and Annie through.

"The food smells wonderful, Elaine," Annie commented. "You and Lo Si have outdone yourself."

"That's what yah always say," her daughter-in-law answered. "Why don' yah try eatin' some befoah rendahrin' vahdict?"

"Good idea," Paul agreed. "Elaine, why don't you help Annie, and Peter, you can give me suggestions." It was not a request.

Peter waited patiently while Paul filled his plate.

"Annie's right," he said after tasting a few of the dishes. "Your wife's an excellent cook. Very inventive, too."

"I'll tell her you said so."

"I'll tell her, later. Right now, I want to hear what you've been up to. Heard you left the Force."

Peter shifted awkwardly. "Yeah, about that...."

"Good. Police are important, but sometimes having to do things legally just doesn't work. Your abilities were getting in the way, weren't they?"

"Yeah, they were," Peter admitted, relief washing through him. He hadn't realized how much he'd been afraid of disappointing his police-chief foster father. "You knew?"

"Peter, just because I've been out of the picture doesn't mean I've been out of touch. I even have a copy of your wedding."

"I wish you could have been there."

"So do I, son. So do I."

Peter and Paul spent the next several minutes making small talk, none of which Peter remembered. He was too busy watching his other Father.

Kwai Chang Caine was smiling broadly, laughing, and doing a sizzling tango with a woman who looked amazingly like Peter's mother.

She didn't just look like Peter's mother, he soon realized. She was Peter's mother.

"Mom?" he gasped. "How?"

"It's part of the Christmas Party tradition, Paul explained. "I thought Nick explained it to you."

"He did, about you. But you could just be really out of touch. Mom's...." Peter tried to find a good euphemism for dead. Passed on? Deceased? One step past vampire on the non-living scale? Full time resident of the Bardo? Member of the bleeding choir in Visibule?

Peter decided to quit before he started quoting Monty Python.

The tango ended in a flourish, with Laura's head dipped low enough to almost touch the floor. The crowd applauded as the Caines made their bows.

"Ah think Ah marrahed the wron' Caine," Elaine said, putting an arm around both men as she and Annie came up behind them. "Petah, why didn' yah tell meh yah fathah could dance like that?"

"I didn't know," Peter admitted.

"Probably Laura's idea," Paul explained. "She always loved dancing, growing up. One time her parents took her to see the Nutcracker, and that was all she talked about for the next year."

"It was better than playing soldier, or cops and robbers, or kick the can," Laura said, coming up to them. "Especially since I always ended up the bad guy."

"You didn't object back then." He grinned at her. "In fact, I remember a couple of times, when you caught me."

Laura's cheeks turned a pretty shade of light crimson.

"Laura and I grew up together," Paul said, answering Peter's unasked question. "Couldn't separate us, and everyone expected us to marry a week after we graduated high school."

"What happened?" Peter asked, even though he knew the answer.

Laura looked up at her husband, eyes glowing in adoration. "I found someone better."

Caine's blush matched the one his wife had displayed a few seconds ago.

"And then I did what every young man with a broken heart did in those days," Paul added. "Joined the Foreign Legion."

"Which is wheah Ah met yah, an' now weh'ah all one happay fam'lay," Elaine chimed in, then looked down at her belly. "All seven of us."

"Eight," Laura corrected.

"Eight?" Peter repeated. "As in --"

"Boys oh gahls?"

"Both," Laura answered.

Elaine gave a squeal, which set off a round of hugs and kisses.

"Is this a private party-within-a-party or can anyone join in?" Mary Margaret asked, coming up to them.

"We're just discussing your daughter's future playmates," Paul explained.

"Daughter?" Blake repeated, getting a goofy grin on his face. "I'm going to have a daughter."

"Excuse me? Which of us has the humungous belly?" Mary Margaret wrapped her arm around her husband's neck in an affectionate choke hold. "Be nice and I'll let you name her."

"You haven't decided yet?" Peter asked.

"We're still ... discussing it," Blake explained.

"Ah. So what've you come up with?"

"Well, there's Jezebel, after my mother. Don't think we'll name her that. And the usual, Rachel, Rebecca, Ruth, Sarah.... How'd you and Elaine come up with Carrie?"

"Ah promised Papa that mah fahst daughtah would beh named aftah Mama," Elaine explained. "An' Anne wen' bettah with Carahline than Lahra did. What's yah mothah's name, Marah Mahgret?"

"Catherine. Catherine Bridget."

"Catherine Bridget Blake," Blake mused. "I like it."

"All settled then," Elaine pronounced. "Shall weh toast?"

"Yes, but not just us," Paul mused. "A decision like this calls for everybody to hear." He made a loud whistling noise, which drew everyone's attention.

"Mary Margaret and I have an announcement," Blake said, wrapping one arm around his wife's waist, and placing the other hand on her belly. "We'd like to introduce Catherine Bridget Blake."

The rest of the guests applauded, cheered, and swarmed around the Blakes to offer their congratulations.

Momentarily forgotten, the Caines and Blaisdells ended up next to the buffet. That was fine -- there was plenty of time to share in the Blakes' happiness.

Except, Peter noticed, for the sad look on his wife's face. "What's wrong?"

"It jus' hit meh. Ah won' beh able tah watch Fussay's babay grow up."

"Sure you will. You'll even be able to baby-sit his grandchildren."

Elaine smiled wryly. "Which one of y'all wan's tah tell him?" she asked her in-laws.

"I say we let him found out for himself," Paul teased.

"What?"

"It is just ... to a parent, children never grow up," Caine explained.

"Even when your children have children of their own," Annie added.

"Even if we haven't met them," Laura pointed out.

"A lack which shall immediatelay beh cahrected." Elaine took her hand. "Yah comin' as well, Paul?"

Paul shook his head. "Oh no, not this time. I know better than to interfere with women bonding. Why don't you take Annie instead."

Which is what she did. Once the women had left, Peter turned to his stepfather.

"Paul, why didn't you tell me you knew my mother?"

"Because. I didn't want you to think we took you in just because of her. She's why I looked you up, but you earned a place in our hearts all on your own."

Peter nodded, able to understand now in a way he couldn't have before taking in his own foster children. "Thank you."

The doorbell rang.

"You better get that," Paul advised. "I'll go get Nick."

Not understanding what Nick had to do with the new arrivals, Peter did as Paul suggested. Opening the door didn't help matters.

It was their clothes that Peter noticed first. The man wasn't too bad. If you could call a gray Civil War dress uniform not too bad. It still paled beside the woman, in a royal blue, off the shoulder ball gown, complete with a five foot wide hoop skirt.

Then Peter looked at their faces. Again, the man was the more normal, looking vaguely like Peter's brother in law.

The woman could have been Elaine's twin sister.

"Won't you come in, Mister and Misses....."

"Doctor Forrester, how good to see you again." Nick brushed past a much- relieved Peter. "Sorry about having to leave so abruptly, but...."

"Think nothin' of it," Doctor Forrester assured him, in an accent that mostly matched Elaine's. "Yah wah onlay tryin' tah protect Elaine, Ah know."

Nick grinned boyishly, then put his arm around Peter's shoulders. "This is Peter."

"The gentleman who finallay won mah daughtah's affections, Ah undahstand. A pleasah."

"The pleasure's all mine," Peter answered, taking his father in law's hand. "I never expected to meet you."

"Neithah did Ah, but ah Elaine does have a way abou' hah, doesn' she?"

"That she does."

The three men shared a knowing grin, then Doctor Forrester brought the woman next to him forward. "Gentlemen, mah wife."

"Misses Forrester," Peter greeted her.

"My lady," Nick said at the same time, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

Not to be outdone, Peter took her other hand and kissed that one.

"Caroline and Thomas," she corrected. "According to what passes for manners these days."

"Caroline and Thomas," Peter repeated, slightly shocked by her abruptness. So unlike her daughter "Won't you come in?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Caroline pushed past Peter, grabbing Nick as an escort along the way.

"Not what y'all expected, is she?" Thomas apologized as he and Peter followed.

"You ... could say that."

"It originated as an attempt at fendin' off unwelcome suitahs. A highlay successful one, Ah might add. By the time Ah met hah, she was well on hah way tah becomin' a spinstah."

"You still managed to win her heart."

"Hah hand," Thomas corrected. "Nevah, Ah feah, hah heaht."

"Careful, Thomas," Caroline warned as the two men approached. "Give away all out family secrets and I won't have any of my own."

"In ahdah tah do that, deah laday, Ah would have tah _know_ all yah secrets. A boon, which tah date, Ah have not yet been granted."

"Talks pretty, doesn't he?" she commented to Nick. "One of the things I like most about my husband. When it doesn't get on my nerves. So, where is that harlot daughter of mine?"

Inwardly, Peter winced. Accurate or not, that was hardly the way to refer to one's own daughter. "She's in the back, showing off the kids to my Moms. I can take you to her, if you want."

"Heaven forbid. I spent enough time with her as a child, I don't need to coo over her brats as well. Besides," Caroline turned her eyes towards her husband, "she probably doesn't remember me, does she, Thomas dear? 'It never happened. Forget it,' were the exact words, I believe?"

Thomas flushed. "Meahlay tryin' tah protect ah daughtah. It was a tryin' experience, fah both of us."

"It wasn't a picnic for me, either."

The group fell silent as each one realized what her words implied.

"You ... felt the desecration of your body?" Caine finally asked.

"Felt?" Caroline mused over the word. "I wouldn't say felt, exactly. I knew it was happening, and why. Saw what Elaine did to the village later, too. One of the few times I've been proud of that little trollop."

That was the second time Caroline had spoken of Elaine like that. Peter was just about to object when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Caroline, Ah think Ah speak fah all of us present when Ah ask that yah cease refahrin' tah Elaine in that mannah. Now."

"Why, Thomas, can it be you're actually developing a backbone?" Caroline replied in mock astonishment. "All right, I will. If only to keep it growing. But not for Elaine's sake. She needs to grow up. Where is the little wretch anyway? She should be here by now."

"I will go see what's keeping her," Caine volunteered, bowing his head politely.

"Strange fellow. I'm not sure I like him," Caroline noted, watching him go. Then she turned to Peter. "Not what you expected, am I?"

"You could say that," he answered. Truth was, she was the exact opposite of how Elaine had described her.

"I never wanted a child. I never even wanted a husband. I was going to become the first female doctor in the family, and with Papa's help, I was well on my way," she explained. "And then in one stupid night, everything changed and I was living my worst nightmare. You'll forgive me if I fail to be ecstatic about it, I'm sure."

"What happened?" Peter looked from Caroline to Thomas, possibly thinking that his father in law's answer would be .... easier to stomach, perhaps?

"Theah was an oppahtunitay fah a class on anatomay at the college weh wah attendin'," Thomas obligingly explained. "A couple of the students, Caroline an' Ah wah in the process of obtainin' the supplays when weh wah unexpectedlay intahrupted."

"You were robbing a grave and the family showed up," Peter translated.

"Preciselay. Daniel an' Humphrey wen' one way an' made it back safelay while Caroline an' Ah wen' the othah an' ran intah Reginald Trask."

"The one suitor I never managed to scare off," Caroline answered before Peter could ask. "Self-righteous, hypocritical and just about every bad trait you could think of for a gentleman just lurking under the surface. His son was worse. Horrible, spoiled little brat. Really, I didn't want children of my own, why would I want to raise his? I kept telling him I couldn't stand either of them, and he'd answer right back that God had given me to him for a wife and mother, and he would wait until I came to my senses. Finding me out, in the middle of the night, unchaperoned and with a man, he could easily have created enough of a scandal to cause my father to lose his deanship, if he wanted."

"Marriage by blackmail. Sweet."

"Exactly." Caroline smiled. "So when Reginald asked what Thomas and I were doing, I said we were eloping."

Oh. "You didn't object?" Peter asked his father in law.

"A gentleman is nevah advahse tah aidin' a laday in distress," Thomas answered. "She sahprised meh, Ah admit, but upon reflection, Ah did not object tah takin' hah tah wife. Hah mannah may have been acidic, but Ah had hopes that would fade once the bahden of unwanted cahtship had passed. Hah mind was shahp, and hah appeahrance comelay. Ah could have done fah wahse."

"And the fact that you hated Reginald almost as much as I didn't have a thing to do with it," Caroline commented.

"Ah nevah said that."

"How'd Reginald take it?" Paul asked.

Caroline made a face. "He insisted on coming with us. Even took the room next to us at the inn. I think he was trying to prove we were lying about eloping. The next morning, he was absolutely furious, calling me all sorts of names even Elaine wouldn't use. That was the last we saw of him, except for a letter from Maine that said if I ever changed my mind, he could easily arrange for both of us be free. I tossed it in the fireplace."

"Caroline an' Ah stayed at the inn fah a month, lon' enough fah the marriage tah beh considahed valid, even without the benefit of clahgay," Thomas said, picking up the tale. "By that time, the school tahm had ended an' weh'd missed finals. Caroline's fathah convinced the othah professahs tah retake what weh'd missed, then hah uncle infahmed us he was in need of an assistant. Weh moved tah Sabattis, an' the rest yah know."

"Papa!" Elaine appeared, throwing her arms around her father. "Ah kept mah promise, Papa. Ah named mah fahst gahl aftah Mama. Jus' like yah told meh tah."

"Ah know." Thomas kissed the top of her head. "Caroline an' Ah wah watchin' dahrin' the blessed event. Weh'ah verrah proud of yah."

Elaine smiled girlishly and kissed his cheek. Then she turned to her mother. Instantly, she stiffened. "NO! YOUS IS DEAD! PAPA KILLS YOU! 'LAINE KNOW. 'LAINE SEE!" Pushing her way through the crowd, she ran out of the room.

Peter, along with Paul and Annie, quickly saw the guests out. Most went quietly, a few couldn't wait to get out of there, and a couple wanted to stay and help. Since they were both family, Peter readily agreed.

The searchers were scattered throughout the house, when a scream drew them back to the family room.

“Miserable little wretch.” Caroline yanked on Elaine’s arm, pulling her daughter out from her hiding place under the buffet table. “Try that again and I’ll-–

Caine caught her free hand before it could descend. “You would hit your own daughter?”

“I will do with my daughter as I please,” Caroline hissed. “I’m not the one who abandons his son whenever he feels like it.”

The Shaolin Master winced, letting go of her arm. “That was different. I thought he was dead, as he did I.”

“I’m not talking about that,” she cooed in response. “I’m talking about all the other times you left him. After saving Sing Ling, and the fake Laura.” She turned to the woman in question. “You do know about that, don’t you? All Lo Si had to do was trot out a picture of someone who looked like you and off he went, forgetting the son that needed his help.”

“Peter was a fully grown adult and quite capable of taking care of himself,” Laura reminded her. “He just needed to realize it. Which would not have happened with Caine hovering over him all the time.”

Caine looked over at his wife. “Hovering?”

She answered with a very Caine-like shrug.

"Daughter or not, that's still my wife your tugging on." Peter decided to interrupt. "Mind letting her go?

"What if I did? Would you make me?"

"No, but I will," Annie said. "Let Elaine go."

"Make me."

Instead of answering, Annie cracked Caroline across the jaw with her fist. Caroline let Elaine go, grabbing her face instead.

"Peter, how on earth do you do that?" Annie asked, shaking her hand. "I think I broke something."

"Damn bitch," Caroline said, making a grab for the blind woman's hair.

"That is enough!" Thomas interrupted. "Caroline, go tah the doah an' wait fah meh."

Caroline looked at her husband and nodded. "As you wish."

Once she had gone, Thomas turned to the others. "Please fahgave mah, Ah should have taken hah in hand ages ago."

"What you should or should not have done is not important," Caine said sagely. "What matters is how you handle today and the future."

Thomas nodded, smiling at the irony of speaking about the future to a ghost. "If yah'll excuse us, Ah think Caroline an' Ah will call it an ev'nin'."

Leaving was proved easier said than done. There was a small matter of Elaine clinging to Thomas' leg. The few attempts to remove her only resulted in her tightening her grip.

"Any suggestions?" Peter asked, at a loss what to do.

"Maybe Fleur would help?" Nat suggested.

Peter and Nick looked at each other. "It might work," Peter noted. "She's been harder to bring out lately, though."

"That does not mean she is not there," Caine said. "Perhaps if Nick would sing a song from their childhood?"

The former vampire nodded, softly crooning in Latin. Soon, the look of fear left his sister's eyes.

"Nicholah? Qu'est-ce se passe?"

Nick slowly explained the situation to her. She nodded, moving over to her brother. "Il a l'air du Papa, non? Main il n'est pas Papa. Il est son Papa."

"Oui. Et le reste de sa familie est ici, aussi. Son mari et sa famille."

"Et ils veulent qu'elle revient, mais au femme, pas au fille."

"Oui. Est-ce possible?"

"Je sais pas. Elle est très dérangée."

Fleur paused, looking inward. "Elle ne peut pas revenir si sa mére est ici."

Nick looked at Thomas. "She says Elaine can't come out...."

"Until Caroline leaves," Thomas finished. "Pahfectlay undahstandable. Gentlemen, ladays. No need tah see us out." He nodded and left the group.

If Peter had watched his father in law go, he would have seen Thomas and Caroline fade and eventually disappear. However, his attention was on getting his wife back. "Now what?"

Fleur paused again, checking inward. "J'ai la dit qu'ils sont parties, mais.... Elle est pardu. Elle ne sait pas comment retourner."

"Can I help?"

"Oui!" The blonde's eyes brightened. "Elle a écouté votre voix. Continuez! Parlez à elle!"

"Well, let's see...." Peter began telling her about how they met and their courtship. Soon others chimed in. Nat added how she and her great great grandmother met and how Elaine had almost killed her. Caine reminded her of how he had helped her learn to be mortal again. Finally --

"Petah?" Elaine fell into his arms. "Oh, Petah, Ah was sah scaahed. Ah couldn' find mah way back tah yah."

"Shhh, it's okay." Peter rubbed her back. "You're back now, and that's what's important. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No. Ah jus' wan' this damn stahrah ovah with. Do yah realize it's almost Septembah? Liz ain' half the writah without Kat helpin' hah."

"Sure. How do we do that?"

"Like this." Elaine stepped back and waved her arm. Instantly, the perfect present was in each person's arms. The only exception was Nat, who had a man with grey hair, a beard and a cane appear next to her. Nat smiled, gave everyone a quick Merry Christmas and good night, and dragged the man off to her bedroom.

Everyone opened their presents, giving Peter and Elaine their thanks.

Elaine waved her arm again, and Peter found himself in his bedroom. Alone.

"Elaine?"

"In the bathroom, Petah Petah. Jus' puttin' the finishin' touches on yah Christmas gift."

Elaine stepped out into the room, garbed in only a sprig of mistletoe tied around her waist. "Does mah husband approve?"

Peter's mouth went dry at the sight before him. After two pregnancies, he still couldn't get over how beautiful she was. Even the slight curve to her belly just added to what was already there. "He approves, he definitely approve."

He went over to unwrap his present, only to have Elaine stay his hand. "Jus' one thin' moah, then weh cn have all the fun weh wan'." She quickly whispered into his ear.

Grinning, Peter turned to the computer screen.

"Merry Christmas Everyone!"

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