Bob wore this sheepskin hat that I knew had covered his head for more than just a winter. When I announced my birthday was coming in a week, he asked me what I wanted. "Your hat." He responded "No, not the hat. What else do you want?" I replied "I only want the hat. I don't want anything else." I was startled by him offering me a present. I didn't really care if he gave me the hat or not. I didn't hear from him on my birthday, but a few weeks later the phone rang. He said, "Come on over, I got your birthday present." I was surprised he remembered my birthday, and somewhat shocked that he had a gift for me. When he presented me with the hat, he smiled warmly. I walked over to the mirror, put it on, and said "This is not the hat." He looked surprised. I don't know why I said that. It was the hat. I think I got scared. I couldn't believe he gave me the one thing he told me he would not give up. I didn't want to be too close to him. It felt dangerous. That was not the last time I did something off-putting. As a matter of fact, I have always made sure that if there's even the slightest possibility of either of us feeling a romantic twinge, I do something to make him want to stay far away from me for a while, if not forever. I need a psychological screen between him and me. It's instinct. Back to PhotoDiary