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Helpful Terms

Mac Johnson's
Dictionary of Political Terminology

Fascist (n, adj): a word used by Communists.

Nazi (n): anyone disagreeing with a liberal.

Controversial (adj): Not liberal.

Divisive (adj): see "Controversial."

Conservative leader (n): any Conservative proved wrong in public.

Insensitive (adj): any Conservative proved right in public.

Diversity (n): several different colors of liberals.

Multilateralist (n): one who performs oral oscillations upon foreign liberals, while genuflecting.

Community leader (n): otherwise unemployable ethnic liberal.

Analyst, Expert (n): otherwise unemployable white liberal.

Feminist (n): one who believes that the only success that matters is the success that men desire.

Religious Right (n): those who both vote and go to church, in violation of the First Amendment.

First Amendment (n): document protecting pornography, banning religion, declaring press immune to criticism. Note: does not apply to political speech after McCain/Feingold.

The Constitution (n): the opinion of Anthony Kennedy.

The Will of the People (expression): the opinion of the New York Times, as interpreted by Anthony Kennedy.

Separation of Powers (expression): when Bill and Hillary aren’t together.

Special Interest (n): 1: you, to somebody else. 2: somebody else, to you.

Spend more time with his/her family (expression): standard punishment for sloppy corruption.

Corruption (n): undocumented "express" lobbying.

Lobbying (n): temporally well-separated favors and bribes, properly documented.

Payoff (n): undocumented campaign contribution (to be refunded when “brought to my attention”)

The Heartland (n): election year concern.

Values (n): election year concern.

Mean-spirited (adj): Conservative, not yet apologetic on command.

Opinion Poll (n): device to determine the probability of acceptance of any given lie.

Opinion Pole (n): Michael Moore, James Carville, Paul Begala, and others.

Journalist (n): one who reports facts that support his prejudices.

Commentator (n): a more honest form of journalist.

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