The New International Version of the Bible is a good translation of the Hebrew and Greek texts. I used the King James Version of the Bible, along with the New American Standard Version and Amplified Bible, for many years before adding the NIV to the group of English translations I used in study. After many years of studying, teaching and preaching, I found that the NIV was a good version to use for writing and teaching. The translation was accurate and people responded well to the clarity and ease of understanding that came from the NIV. If I for one moment believed the NIV was a poor translation, I would close it and not use it again.

For anyone who prefers the King James Version, I invite them to substitute the translation of the KJV in each of my Bible studies. You will hear the Truth either way.

• QUESTION: I have the following questions that need answers from the Biblical point of view.

  1. What is the correct way of a Christian couple to have birth control ?

  2. Is it a sin to masturbate ?

  3. How can a dating couple cultivate more love toward each other ?

• ANSWER:Your questions deal with real life and relationships. One of the exciting things about the GraceLife is God gives His Children real answers to real life. Sex is one of the most powerful physical and emotional urges Christians face, yet it is the one that so many are afraid to discuss.

  Love. 1. What is the correct way of a Christian couple to have birth control ?

  "Birth control" is not mentioned as such in the Bible. What we do know is that God values life. He loves children. God designed that a husband and wife would love each other, make love to each other and have children.

  "Adam lay with his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, 'With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man.' Later she gave birth to his brother Abel."

  Genesis 4:1-2

  "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

  Psalm 127:3-5

  The idea of "birth control" is that people determine when and if a woman will become pregnant and give birth to a child. Webster's Dictionary defines "birth control" as "control of the number of children born esp. by preventing or lessening the frequency of conception." Another defintion is that birth control "is a term that includes all methods used to regulate the birth of children."

  Nature regulates the birth of children by the fact that a woman can become pregnant only during a small fraction of her monthly menstrual cycle. Women usually become pregnant beginning in their teens and ending in their 40s. Some couples are sterile temporarily or permanently because of physical reasons.

  Artificial birth control means have been with the human race for thousands of years. Ancient birth control measures included abstinence from sex, fertility timing methods (rhythm method) and withdrawl of the penis from the vagina prior to ejaculation. Modern birth control measures include those along with birth control pills, spermacides, intrauterine devices (IUD), condoms, diaphragms, vaginal sponges, cervical caps, sterilization and abortion.

  Abstinence is the preferred method of birth control for non-married people. God calls on non-married men and women to abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). If Christian singles do not have sexual intercourse, they will not conceive children. That's the ultimate birth control method. We are seeing a renewed understanding of that principle in the Church today.

  The Bible calls on married men and women to have regular sexual intercourse with each other (1 Corinthians 7:2-7). But what about having children? Should they control conception? If they want to control conception, how should they do it?

  This is a matter for serious discussion and prayer for a Christian couple. Do they want children? Why? Why not? How many children would they like to have? How many years apart? Should they regulate conception through artificial means? A Christian husband and wife should study all available Christian materials about conception, pregnancy, birth, and raising children. Children are a gift from God and we should use the gift wisely and for His Glory.

  Christians should consider methods that control birth "before" conception. Remember that God loves and values life. Once God gives life (which includes the soul), we should not consider ending that life through articifial means. Life is precious and is in God's Hands. Some "before conception" methods of birth control include abstinence, rhythm, "barrier" methods (i.e. condom), and sterilization. Sterilization should be viewed as permanent. Christian couples should discuss which, if any, method they wish to use. Pray about it and talk with other Christians who have faced similar decisions about "before conception" birth control.

  A major issue for Christians concerns controlling birth "after conception." One of the most widely used "after conception" methods of birth control is induced abortion. That is ending human life by killing the unborn fetus. Christian couples should seriously consider whether they want to control birth through any "after conception" method. Remember that God values human life.

  You will find many Christian books and tapes available on the subject of birth control. Ask your Christian bookstore about them. You can also read about birth control alternatives on the World Wide Web. Here is one web site to begin your search.

  http://www.silentvoices.org/birth.html

  2. Is it a sin to masturbate ?

  Masturbation is defined as the "erotic stimulation of the genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse. Some call it "self-gratification." Masturbation often begins in late childhood or early teens. Children are learning about their sexuality through experimentation that is generally private. Masturbation often leads to sexual experimentation between people as the get older.

  The Bible does not address masturbation directly. Instead, God gives Christians scores of principles to use in making a multitude of decisions about our sexuality. God gave us our sexuality. He gave it to us for personal pleasure within marriage, the physical and emotional bonding of husband and wife, and creation of new life. It is one of the highest forms of expressing our love and commitment to our marriage partner. Anything that takes away from that love, pleasure and bonding should not be part of a married couple's sexual experience. Many Christian couples have had problems in their marriage because one of them preferred masturbation to intercourse. The one who masturbated often related enjoying the sexual fantasies they experienced during masturbation as better than sexual intercourse with their spouse. Couples with that problem should seek Christian counseling and search Christian books and tapes on the subject.

  What about Christian singles? Some have said that masturbation helped them stay away from sexual intercourse before marriage. Is that a good enough reason for Christian singles to practice masturbation? Here are some thoughts from the Apostle Paul.

  "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

  1 Corinthians 7:8-9

  "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord...An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit...I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

  1 Corinthians 7:32, 34-35

  Single Christians are in an ideal position to please the Lord with their heart, mind and body. They can devote themselves completely to Christ "in both body and spirit." They can live "in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

  So, how does the sexual act of masturbation fit in with a single Christian's concern for the Lord's affairs and undivided devotion to the Lord in both body and spirit? What does a Christian think about while he or she masturbates? Is it about the affairs of Christ? Is it about devotion to the Lord and His service? The physical act of masturbation is one thing, the mental and emotional part of the physical act is another.

  Whether masturbation is right or wrong, good or bad, is between a Christian and Christ. Study God's Word about what we should do and think. Talk to God about it. Read the Christian materials available on the subject. I've included a few web sites for your further study.

  http://www.bibleclass.com/mainpage/qa/qa6.html

  http://homepages.enterprise.net/bcfgoodnews/pages/framelgodsway.htm

  http://www2.gospelcom.net/rbc/questions/counsel/struggle/mastadd.html

  http://www.christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y011.html

  3. How can a dating couple cultivate more love toward each other ?

  Dating for Christians is the wonderful process of finding a person with whom you will share your love for Christ. Dating does not necessarily have to lead to marriage, though that is often what happens. Paul wrote that singleness was the ideal for Christians, but that marriage was preferable to burning out of control with passion (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

  Christian dating should be based on a mutual love for Jesus Christ and a commitment to developing ways, as a dating couple, to love Him more deeply (Ephesians 3:14-21). The methods can include studying the Bible together, praying together, witnessing to others together, attending Bible studies together, attending church services together, etc.

  Christians who date should respect each other deeply and do everything they can to build up each other. Here are some words that Christian couples can use as they build their relationship with Christ and each other.

  "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."

  Ephesians 4:2-3

  That is the relationship all Christians are to have with each other. It is also true of Christians who are dating each other.

  "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building other up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

  Ephesians 4:29

  Much of what happens between two people who are dating each other is "talking." Talking and sharing are important to the development of deep and solid relationships. Christians should use those times of talking and sharing to build up each other "according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Christians should be more concerned about the needs of their dating partner than their own needs.

  "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

  Colossians 3:12-14

  What a beautiful picture of a Christian dating relationship and a Christian marriage! Christian dating is often the first step toward Christian marriage. We learn about each other and the way God wants us to relate to each other during the dating years. Dating is where we demonstrate our Christian maturity by showing compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness, and love. Christian marriage should grow from a great Christian dating experience.

  One final word to Christian men who are dating. Paul told Christian men to "treat...younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." (1 Timothy 5:1-2) A Christian man should think of his Christian date first as a "sister" in Christ and treat her with "absolute purity." That includes every aspect of their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual relationship.

• QUESTION: I have a question about who Jesus was refering to that he hated the practices of? Was it a church or group of people? "But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate."

• ANSWER: Good question! It's important to know what Christ loves and hates. We should love what Jesus loves and hate what Jesus hates.

  Christ told the Apostle John to write letters to seven First Century churches. The first was the church in Ephesus. One of the good things about the Ephesian Christians was they hated the practices of the Nicolaitans, which Christ also hated. Who were the Nicolaitans? What were their hated practices?

  The Nicolaitans are mentioned only twice in the Bible.

  "But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate."

  Revelation 2:6

  Christ also mentioned the Nicolaitans again in His letter to the church in Pergamum.

  "You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth."

  Revelation 2:14-16

  The Ephesians hated the practices of the Nicolaitans. However, the Christians in Pergamum had members who held to the teachings of the Nicolaitans. What was the problem?

  The practices of the Nicolaitans were similar to those of Balaam and Balak. (You can read more about Balaam and Balak in Numbers 22 - 25.) We know that from Revelation 2. However, Scripture does not mention the group by name again.

  Post-apostolic writings (Irenaeus and Hippolytus) claim that the Nicolaitans were started by Nicolaus, a convert to Judaism from Antioch and one of the seven deacons chosen to serve the needs of the Grecian Jews (Acts 6:5). Irenaeus, Clement of Alexandria, Tertullian and others condemned the practices of the Nicolaitans as being of gnostic origin. They professed to "know" more than the Apostles, yet were pagan in their practices (eating food sacrificed to idols and committing sexually immoral acts). There is no reason to believe that Nicolaus started the Nicolaitans with a view toward paganism, since the Bible says that Nicolaus was "known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom" (Acts 6:3) Some scholars believe the Nicolaitans claimed Nicolaus as their leader to be close to apostolic authority for their group.

  Paul writes often about the sin of sexual immorality. God hates it and does not want it in His Church. "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body...Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18).

  Paul also wrote the Corinthians about eating food sacrificed to idols.

  "Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God. So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one...Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do. Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol's temple, won't he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall."

  1 Corinthians 8:1-4, 7-13

  Sexual immorality and disobedience to the principles we learn from Paul about food sacrificed to idols are the practices of the Nicolaitans that Christ hated. We should join Him in hating them as well.

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"Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers."