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God loves you. That's a fact. I know it doesn't seem that way to you right now, but it's still a fact. God is Love and He loves His children with a Love we cannot fathom. Paul prayed for the Ephesians that they "may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge." (Ephesians 3:18-19) God loves you and He loves me! You may have to say it over and over again to yourself to help break through the depression, unbelief and rage that covers your thoughts and emotions at times. I would never tell you to "snap out of it," because what you are experiencing goes deeper. You feel hurt, rejected and abandoned. That's some pretty tough stuff and God understands. People have hurt, rejected and abandoned Him for centuries. He knows from where you're coming.
One of the great things about the Bible is it introduces us to hundreds of God's people who have gone through every imaginable problem that faces the human race. Start with Adam and Eve and read your way to the end of the Revelation. Every possible human problem is represented. We are not alone. Are you feeling depressed? Read the writings of David and Solomon. Are you suffering loss and pain? Read Job. They knew what it was to be depressed. They knew what it was to be angry. They knew what it was to be rejected and abandoned. Are you full of rage? Read about Moses. See how he learned to handle it. Read about Peter. See what he did. Read the Gospels. See what Jesus did with His anger. Read the Acts and the writings of Paul to see how he handled some of life's most difficult problems. Lots of great lessons for us there.
You mentioned you were slowly going blind. Some Christian medical doctors believe Paul also lost part of his eyesight during his ministry. They believe he may have had the type of illness that made him ugly to look at in addition to taking away the clarity of his sight. Paul wrote the Galatians about his illness. "Even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself. What has happened to all your joy? I can testify that, if you could have done so, you would have torn out your eyes and given them to me." (Galatians 4:12-15) Another possible evidence of Paul's eye problems was when he had difficulty recognizing Israel's high priest. (Acts 23:3-5) Paul wrote the Corinthians he was given a thorn in his flesh to keep him from becoming conceited because of the great revelations God had given him. Paul said the thorn in his flesh was a messenger of Satan and tormented him. Paul said he pleaded with God three times to take the thorn in his flesh away from him. God told Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." What did Paul learn from this experience? "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) I doubt this valuable lesson came easily for Paul. He pleaded with God three times to take it away. Whatever it was bothered Paul terribly. If Paul couldn't see well, he would have become dependent on people to help him find his way from place to place and to read and communicate with others. Paul wrote the Thessalonians, "I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand, which is the distinguishing mark in all my letters. This is how I write." (2 Thessalonians 3:17) Paul wrote the Galatians about the large letters he used as he wrote them with his own hand. (Galatians 6:11) Tertius included a line of greetings to the Romans that he had written the letter for Paul. Paul dictated the letters for others to write, but he was always careful to sign each letter as a way to authenticate it for the readers.
My point is that Paul was a man of God who experienced the best and the worst of life. Paul suffered greatly. He may have been partially blind. He may have been hideous to see. He had been beaten and left for dead. He had been hungry. He had been without finances. He had suffered great personal loss. But Paul never gave up. He kept pushing forward. He asked Christians to pray with him that he would preach God's Word faithfully to the end of his life.
Paul was not a superman. He was like you and me. Paul suffered depression. He faced all the normal human reactions to a tough life. But Paul kept going. He wouldn't let Satan defeat him. Paul was determined to finish the race.
Paul knew how tough the race would be for others who followed him. Paul wrote Timothy:
"You then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer. Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor's crown unless he competes according to the rules... Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this. Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too many obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.2 Timothy 2:1-10
The greatest example for us is Jesus Christ Himself. He came to give His best to the world. He came to Israel with open arms. He loved the people and spoke truth to them so they could see the way.
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."Luke 4:18-19
That's what Jesus said to the people in the synagogue in Nazareth. That was His heart, His vision, His mission. How did those people treat the Messiah of Israel?
"They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff."Luke 4:29
That's how Israel continued to treat Jesus during His time on earth. He meant them only good. They tried to kill Him. The Israelites finally found a way to kill Jesus through the Romans. That was Christ's reward for loving and caring for His people. They killed Him. That's how Israel treated Christ's disciples. They killed and persecuted them. That's the way it's always been through history.
We rarely understand why bad things happen to good people. We may never know in this life. But certain spiritual truths remain for all of us to see and believe. God never promised Christians their lives would be easy. In fact, God made it clear our lives would be difficult.
Job's life is evidence of something more sinister going on around the believer. It's the evil in the spiritual world that causes us so many of our problems, just like Job. Paul warned Christians to be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 6:11-12) This is a primary spiritual truth in your battle against depression and rage.
Another is how to receive God's protection. Paul told the Philippians to rejoice. "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:5-7) The word "guard" was the same word use for the special military unit that protected the ruler of Rome. The Praetorian imperial bodyguard would surround Caesar so no enemy could reach him. No one could get through unless Caesar allowed them into his inner circle. The same is true with us. God's peace guards our hearts and our minds. No one gets through unless God allows it. If God allows it, that means He is in control of the action and the outcome. The Greeks understood the heart and mind to be the home of human emotion and thought. We open up our lives to God's protection as we put anxiety aside and go to God in prayer and believe He will do what is best for us. If we decide for God what is best for our lives, we may be wrong. God may have something else in mind. If we try to determine what's best, we may be disappointed. That can lead to despair and anger. Let God know what you think you need and what you want, then relax in His will.
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Give thanks in all circumstances." Man, that's tough. Circumstances can be painful. They often are not what we want to happen. What does God want us to do about it? "Give thanks." Why should we give thanks? "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3) You are already blessed! You have already received every spiritual blessing in Christ! You didn't miss out on anything. You have it all, right now! So why don't things work out for us better here? We have every "spiritual" blessing, not every physical blessing. Our future is a spiritual one. Our Kingdom is a Spiritual Kingdom. Our time on earth is a time for service, for giving and sharing the Love of Jesus Christ with a love-starved world. How does God prove His love for people? He sent His Son and He sends us to give them that Love. We are the human instruments of God's Love. God teaches us about His Love so that we can demonstrate His Love to others.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows."1 Corinthians 1:3-5
Do you see the beauty of what God wants to do through your life and through mine? He wants us to experience the outpouring of His Love so that we can give His Love to people who are hurting, people in need. God does not want us to hurt. He does not want us to suffer. He wants us to experience His Grace and Love. It's part of having every spiritual blessing. Unsaved people also have trouble in this life. They suffer. But they don't have God's comfort. They have nowhere to go. We have the very Creator of Life living in our hearts. God is there to comfort and encourage us. What a privilege! What a joy!
I am not belittling your pain. I am putting it into perspective. I learned it the hard way; the same way all Christians learn it. You will learn it. You will experience it. You will know the Grace and Love of God in your life and you'll be able to pass it on to someone else in a powerful way. My prayers are with you.
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"Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers."
Taking God's Grace to the World!
Copyright © , Mark McGee, 1990-1999 / mamcgee@mindspring.com
Last Updated: 12/20/1999