EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.
My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
To avoid going to Nam, I had my father pull some strings to get me into the Texas Air National Guard, jumping ahead of about 300 others waiting to get into the Guard, and then when ordered by the Commanding Officer to report for a physical which would include a drug screening, I went AWOL. I missed more than a year of required duty.
I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.
By getting into the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. I skipped a year by going to Alabama, then I asked for and got an early release from the Guard. Other than some pay records, most other Guard records seem to have been "lost."
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.
I read at a third grade level and have admitted several times that I only read the captions and headlines of a newspaper, but never the complete story. The same is true for government documents, I depend on advisors to condense the reports for me
I was a cheerleader in college. I was also a member of the same Yale secret society "Skull and Bones" as my father and grandfather. Granddaddy was the one who funded Hitler and the Nazi party with fifty million dollars. Daddy is the one who is still in business with the Bin Laden family.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock at a great profit.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money, then sold at a great profit.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, my friend Katherine Harris who created a voter purge of 97,000 people who might have voted for Al Gore, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I changed U.S. pollution laws to favor power and oil companies.
I changed laws to make it legal for logging companies to rape the National Parks for more profits.
Despite overwhelming evidence, I made the proclamation that there is no such thing as global warming and refuse to treat it as a threat.
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I had the president of one country kidnapped and sent to another continent while I sent in troops to his island country to "keep the peace." The troops remain of course.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I emptied the Social Security trust fund by $507 billion to help offset fiscal irresponsibility and at the same time slashed Social Security benefits.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I give tax cuts to businesses that send American jobs overseas.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I Eliminated overtime pay for millions of Americans.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
I give away billions of tax dollars in government contracts without competitive bids.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in world history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to the administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
Three years later, I used pictures of those same attacks in campaign advertising.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I Cut Medicare by 17 percent and reduced veterans’ benefits and military pay. -- in war time.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD beyond compare.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice. (but will try to do something close to election time.)
I have been succesful in keeping the 3,147 caskets of dead U.S. service men and women killed in Iraq from the view of the Ameirican public.
I ignored the people who warned of the levy system around New Orleans, and refused to approve funding they requested to repair them. After they failed during hurricane Katrina, I said "nobody expected the levies to fail!". Then when FEMA completely failed to help, and probably killed many people with their actions/inactions, I praised the head of the efforts with a "You are doing a heck of good job Brownie." Then I fired Brownie when the press said he wasn't doing such a good job. Gee who knew?
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
© 2003-2006 Mike Wicks