PERSONAL NOTES

1989 was an important time. The new millennium was upon us, and with it, the Age of Aquarius. Everyone's minds, beliefs, and concepts of Love were changing, and I was no exception to this phenomena. The end of a century had given mankind optimism and hope, and I began to express this creatively.

Being both a musician and priestess of the Mystery School tradition, I began to write lyrics of magick, nature and philosophy, but was left unfulfilled, because the scope and emotion of my ideas could not be confined to the realm of a five minute song.

I asked my spiritual ancestors for guidance, and was reminded that the prayers and hymns of the ancient ones were originally sung -- the words remembered long after the music was gone. In the traditions of old, I set my mind to put music to these prayers and legends.

Through past-life regressions and channeled information, it was revealed to me that my earthly origins were in Mesopotamia. I began my musical research by spending a year or so examining the deities and religious practices of ancient Sumer. During this time, I was drawn to one deity in particular -- Inanna, the goddess of Love and War. As I read her recorded experiences, I felt as if I had lived it before -- seen this existence through my eyes, felt it with my heart and expressed it with my own tears. I knew that this was my work. My mission was to tell the true tale of Inanna, no matter how unpleasant or contradictory it may seem. I say unpleasant and contradictory because her origins were that of Light and Purest Love, later transformed into hatred, rage and bloodshed. I could not at first understand how this was possible, and, because of my strong identification, was afraid that it was my fate as well.

I delved into every bit of information I could find on Inanna -- ancient, modern, true or false. After three years of research, a clear picture began to form. And I began to write. I feel that all gods once walked the earth, and I have written the story of one immortal -- the trials they have encountered and the transitions they were forced to make to stay alive during a time when the old gods were leaving this earth.

The research didn't stop when the writing began. For three more years, I ate, breathed and dreamed of the Middle East. The more I read, the gaps in the text were filled with visions, memories and information that I was given. Inanna's tale is that of cycles, deathlessness and truest love. In her relationship with Dumuzi, I saw the original story of Romeo and Juliet -- lovers separated by their families and by their own pride. I feel that there are many misconceptions involving the role and death of the god Dumuzi and the part which Inanna played in it. There are three versions of Ishtar's (Inanna's) descent in ancient history, none of which agrees on Inanna's motivation or Dumuzi's role. It is impossible to fault one individual for the interruption of their love, and I have tried to portray all factors and circumstances involved.

The gods are more like ourselves than we give them credit for. They, too, have situations that arise from misunderstandings. They, too, have love, hate, guilt and remorse. This also means that they, too, have cycles they must recognize and master. Inanna's cycle recurs in Phoenicia, where once again I find her in the arms of her beloved, only to have him taken away by the gods of the Underworld.

I hope that from this work, people can learn to recognize the cycles of their lifetimes, realize their opportunities and know that true love never really dies.

In act three, I focused strongly on the misinterpretations of Inanna's teachings because it is at that point in history that the cult of the Sacred Prostitute begins to make its transition to Whore. I feel that this can only happen in a world more driven by selfish desire than by spirituality. If the world has turned from Love, how can the physical embodiment of that emotion survive? It must change its polarity, and that's what I feel Inanna has done, begging all the while for someone to show her that Love still exists.

The true story was so overwhelming that it quickly turned from an eight-song "concept album" to a three act, three hour theatrical production.

How has it affected me? That's a hard question to answer. Like Inanna, I, too, have my doubts about humanity, and I, too, like Inanna still retain hope that Love will return to us all. I feel that accepting responsibility for the world that we have each created will facilitate this. It is a very cathartic and rewarding experience for me to perform this work. In the Mystery Tradition it is felt that through reenactment of an archetype's experiences, the individual will achieve the same rebirth and immortality. Every time I perform I am killed and reborn -- empowered. I am immortal, as we all can be. True immortality is the continuity of consciousness; it is only we who deter this by blocking painful lifetime experiences. Hopefully, I can show people that by working through our pain and guilt we can release it and be reborn into an immortal existence where we can never by touched by negativity.

Love is the answer. Love is the message. Love is our responsibility. How can we resurrect the essence of Love if we have it not within us to give?

My work is a plea from Inanna to humanity for awareness and responsibility -- one cannot be Love unless one is given Love. She is begging us all to give again, to not be led blindly or take anything precious for granted. She wants us to learn from her tale, so that we may all find love again.

In September of 1996, I finished writing the last song and penned these words:

" I have now told a complete tale -- a truthful tale -- my glory and fame will come this time for the right reasons. I have confessed to my weaknesses and mistakes -- and, furthermore, I have learned from them. I hope each of you will learn from them as well . . . "



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Last updated May 3, 1998

Thank you for your continued devotion and interest in the Ancient Ones...