TOP 10 REASONS HELL IS BETTER THAN COOPER UNION 10) You can't get thrown out of hell 9) You have a better shot at getting into hell 8) No one expects you to be perfect in hell 7) You know why you have to suffer in hell 6) If you are in hell, God hates you; if you are in Cooper ...he has just forgotten about you 5) If you are in hell, you have wasted your life; if you are in Cooper ...you never had one 4) You wouldn't tell your friend to go to Cooper Union 3) There are more women in hell 2) Hell is forever, Cooper Union just seems like it and the number one reason hell is better than Cooper Union.... 1) Everyone has heard of hell ----unknown author

On a dark Village alleyway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of marijuana, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the comp lab, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There Peter stood in the doorway;
I heard a computer beep
And I was thinking to myself
'is this heaven? I really need sleep!'
and then he lit up a Bunsen' and he showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Cooper Union
Such a hellish place (such a hairy face)
Plenty of work at the Cooper Union
Any time of year, you can find it here

His mind is Engineering-twisted,
He got the structural bends
He got a lot of scary, hairy artists that he calls friends
How they work in the loft space, sweet summer sweat
Some work to remember, some work to forget

So I called up the captain
'Please let me whine'
He said, 'we haven't allowed that here since eighteen sixty nine'
And students' voices are groaning from early day
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Cooper Union
Such a Hellish place (such a hairy face)
They smokin' it up at the Cooper Union
What a nice surprise, bring your alibis

Calculators on the ceiling,
The green caffine on ice
And he said, 'We are all just prisoners here, damn, that ain't nice.'
And in peter's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They hack it with their steely knives,
But the beard's 6 feet thick, at least!

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
'Relax,' said the night man,
'We are programmed to recieve.
You can graduate any time you like, but you can never leave.'
Deranged credits-- Gedalia Pasternak

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Fight Entropy!!! Fight Entropy!!! Figth Etnropy! ! iFgth Etnrop!y ! giFth tErno!py ! giFt htrEno!p y!
--- Well maybe not...
Septimus, what is carnal embrace? - Thomasina Coverly
The only thing that God didn't do to Job was give him a computer
This is kindergarten stuff - Kondopirakas (referring to calculus)
Yellow #5 DOES WHAT??!!! - Gabe Loh
It's my world, My World! - Vered
If you send us silly e-mail we will taunt you - id software

(an anonymous exchange on life in the 90's)
--I can convince everyone that I'm happy.. I can fool everyone...
--Does it work?
--Not really... that's what the therapy is for.

Do you ever feel like life loves to throw curve balls?
Ever have a week when life starts trying to bean you with them?