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* TITLE: Performance Reviews
* AUTHOR: Redbyrd
* EMAIL: redbyrd (at) mindspring (dot) com
* RATING: PG
* CATEGORY: drama, missing scene
* SUMMARY: Tag for Prometheus Unbound. General O'Neill reviews the performance of the SGC personnel aboard Prometheus and Daniel explains to Reynolds why he doesn't date crazy people.
* SPOILERS: Prometheus Unbound, Lockdown, tiny for Proving Ground
* AUTHOR'S NOTE: I couldn't help but think that the security tapes from Prometheus must have been fascinating viewing.
The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
The four members of SG-3 filed into the briefing room with Daniel Jackson at their heels. Reynolds was not looking forward to this. The debriefing with General Hammond aboard the Prometheus had been painful enough. As the leader of one of the few mixed service teams in the SGC, Reynolds had always had a thick skin. But this time, both he and his Marine subordinates were profoundly embarrassed by their failure. Reynolds could just make out that it was his own written report that topped the tidy pile of paper in front of General O'Neill.
"Well, that was quite the mission," O'Neill drawled after they sat down. "I've watched the security tapes."
Jackson seemed to find something very interesting in his coffee cup. Reynolds and his teammates would have shuffled their feet if they'd been standing.
"A Marine combat unit. And you were taken out by *one* attacker. Not once, but twice. I am frankly embarrassed at your performance out there. I'd have expected those kind of results from Girl Scouts, not trained military professionals. And somebody want to explain to me how it was that the only guy who didn't get shipped over to the al'kesh like baggage was a civilian scientist?" His tone dripped sarcasm. Reynolds and his marines flinched.
Yeah, Reynolds was definitely not looking forward to this. O'Neill hadn't wanted Jackson to go in the first place. They had argued about it for a week, the verbal skirmishes occasionally loud enough to be heard three floors away before Hammond had pulled rank. Reynolds had known that O'Neill would be livid at their failure to protect the SGC's senior civilian, despite the fact that he'd proven quite able to take care of himself.
"Luck," Jackson said.
"What?" O'Neill didn't seem like he'd actually expected anyone to answer that.
"It was pure luck that I didn't get taken with the others," Jackson said.
"I'm glad you realize that, Daniel." O'Neill directed his attention back to SG-3. "I suppose you should consider yourselves fortunate that Dr. Jackson was willing to take time out from flirting with the hijacker to retake the ship," O'Neill said.
"Jack!" the linguist protested. "Not flirting!"
"Or whatever," the general said.
Jackson actually looked a little relieved at the distraction. "I do not flirt with crazy people," he insisted.
"Destroyer of Worlds ring a bell?" O'Neill said drily. Reynolds didn't get the reference and figured it must have been something that happened before his time.
Jackson didn't drop his gaze, though a red flush started to creep up his neck. "That was different."
"Right." O'Neill said skeptically. "Well, in the interest of helping you brush up your obviously rusty skills, I've scheduled you gentlemen for five fun-filled days of training exercises, both armed and unarmed scenarios. And if you can't each kill five times your weight in new recruits, you can go back and do it again next month. Report to the Academy training ground tomorrow morning at 0500... All five of you." All five? Reynolds wondered why Jackson was being included in this.
"Any questions?" O'Neill asked. No one spoke. O'Neill directed a challenging look at Jackson. "Daniel? Nothing to say?"
"Not a thing, Jack." The linguist picked up his cup. "Are we through?"
Reynolds gave Jackson a sympathetic look as they got out of their respective cars in the parking lot at 0445. He'd always been kind of a fan of SG-1, since he'd first heard of their exploits while assigned at Area 51. Possibly the most rewarding moment of his career had been finding the missing Daniel Jackson on Vis Uban. Considering that Jackson had pretty much saved the day on Prometheus, he wondered again why the civilian was here. "Morning, Doc. Doesn't seem right that you got stuck doing this with the rest of us."
"Oh?" Jackson buried his nose in the disposable cup that he'd brought with him, looking grumpy. He was famously not a morning person.
"Well, you did manage to capture the hijacker and take back the ship," Reynolds said.
"By the time I got the ship back, Vala had locked out the controls. And I didn't know enough about the Prometheus' systems to undo it," Jackson pointed out. "As for how long it took me to get that control--" He winced. "I've been missing too many of my hand-to-hand workouts. Which Jack was already giving me grief about."
Reynolds looked surprised, "That fight in the control room? I thought you were trying to lull her into a false sense of security so she'd enter the codes before you zatted her." For a civilian, he'd done extremely well. It struck Reynolds that a stranger seeing the scientist in fatigues would never have guessed he wasn't a soldier. Jackson had added a lot of solid muscle since he'd got his body back, and he'd always been fit. Reynolds tended to think of him as not very big, but he was actually just about the same height as the Colonel. They so often saw him standing beside Teal'c or O'Neill that it was easy to forget he was no lightweight.
"Um, right. False sense of security," Jackson shook his head. "Even given that I've never had any aptitude for martial arts, that was pathetic, Colonel. Seven-plus years of training? God. Jack is never going to let me hear the end of it." He drained the rest of his coffee and crumpled the cup. "Let's go kill recruits and get it over with."
They walked toward the assembly area, seeing the other members of SG-3 already there ahead of them. Reynolds tried to lighten the mood. "So, Doc, don't you think she was hot? Just a little?"
"No!" Jackson said emphatically. "And neither do you."
"I don't?" Reynolds was confused.
"Never let yourself be attracted to women who shoot you. It's just a bad idea." Jackson said. "Trust me." He rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath that sounded like, '--gotta kill Jack.'
"Oh, I'm sure that acting on it would be a bad idea--" Reynolds started.
"Colonel, women who shoot you are a bad. Women who profess attraction for you after shooting you are worse. Women who have snakes are bad. Women who used to have snakes are bad. Don't even go there."
Reynolds was distracted from the diatribe by a random association. "Colonel Carter?"
"Isn't attracted to me and didn't get a snake or start shooting me until after she'd known me a while. Doesn't count."
He blinked. "She shot you?"
"Zatted. She was possessed by Anubis." A frown creased his brow. "And Teal'c zatted me and Jack shot me with a 9-mil, so it was really more of a team thing."
"Oh, yeah." Reynolds remembered. He thought about Jackson's list of women to avoid. "So what do you do if you want a date?"
Jackson's eyebrows rose. "In the abstract, you first ascertain that the woman in question is human, not a Goa'uld, not possessed, not a murderer, criminal, insane, NID agent, reporter or agent of a foreign power trying to collect intelligence," he said. "Then you're good to go. If you're asking how *I* get a date, I don't. I go save the world or find something interesting to translate until the urge passes. It's a lot less complicated."
"Right." Reynolds thought that sounded more than a little paranoid, but when he remembered what he knew of Jackson's personal history, he could see why the man might be a little cautious. They joined the others and took up the intars and equipment vests that were being distributed.
"So, Doc," Lieutenant Collins said grinning. "Was that Vala hot or what? 'I kept my eyes closed, the whole time'?"
Reynolds saw Jackson look longingly down at the intar, then he caught Reynolds's eye. "We're supposed to be on the same team, right?"
Go on to sequel: Training Exercises
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