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This story was first published in Foundations 6.
* TITLE: Shades of Oannes
* AUTHOR: Redbyrd
* EMAIL: redbyrd (at) mindspring (dot) com
* RATING: PG
* CATEGORY: drama, angst, missing scene
* SUMMARY: Missing scenes and tag for Fire and Water: When Daniel gets back from Oannes, he wonders why his teammates are twitchy and won't let him out of their sight.
* SPOILERS: Broca Divide, Fire and Water
* WARNINGS: smarm, lots of it
* AUTHOR'S NOTE: Possibly the last thing the world needs is another tag for this episode, but I couldn't resist writing one anyway. I've always thought that Daniel really wouldn't have any idea how badly everyone took his 'death' - after all, he wasn't there.
* DISCLAIMER:
The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
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Daniel looked at the new wall of cuneiform the creature had just revealed and sighed. Every time he read a bunch of this stuff, the alien would slide open another panel, and behind it would be more of the Babylonian script. It was like an oral final in ancient languages, one where he'd attended class but hadn't bothered to study. He squinted and peered at the new script. Going this long without his glasses always gave him a headache. " 'If a free man-- accuses another of murder-- and fails to prove-- the accuser shall be put to death.' Okay, that's interesting. Now what the hell does it mean?"
The creature pointed to the writing.
Daniel was tired and damp, and the air was too saturated for him to have much hope of getting drier. The humid warmth of this chamber was enervating at best. His watch had been removed with his glasses and the rest of his equipment, and they had been at this for- well, he had no idea how many hours, but it was a lot. He replied impatiently, "Yeah, yeah I know what it is. It's the legal code of some ancient Babylonian king, probably 2000 B.C. The question is, what does it have to do with me?" He looked at the creature holding him prisoner. He, if he was a he, looked vaguely reptilian. Perhaps that was why it was so warm.
It didn't seem like looking at the nice cuneiform was getting him anywhere. Perhaps it was time to try resistance. He wondered where the creature had put Jack and Sam and Teal'c. The last thing he remembered was the alien pointing some sort of device at them on the beach. Then waking up here alone. "I want to see my friends. I'm-- I'm not going to translate another word of this until you let me--"
The creature interrupted him. In English. "What speech?"
Daniel had a nagging feeling he was missing something. "What? What, this one?" He pointed at the cuneiform. "It's Akkadian."
The creature repeated, "What speech?!"
The language he was using. "Oh, oh, oh, it's English. It's much more modern..." He suppressed a groan. He was an idiot. Too stupid to be let through a wormhole. He knew what this was. He'd been here before, only the last time, he'd been calling the shots. This was he and Sha're, sitting in front of a wall of hieroglyphs, working out what the correct pronunciations were. Only Daniel had been translating this into *English*, not just reading the Babylonian aloud. He and this creature could have been communicating hours ago if he wasn't a moron. He shrugged inwardly. The alien was picking up English now; it would probably be too confusing to switch at this point.
The creature went back to the first phrase Daniel had translated, "What fate Omoroca?"
Daniel didn't understand 'what fate omoroca' any better than he had when he had first seen it. He was intensely frustrated. And missing his team. And hungry. He surreptitiously patted the pockets of his fatigue pants. He swore that from now on he was going to carry a powerbar or two in his pockets. They always seemed to be separated from their packs and equipment vests when they were captured. He kept his voice soft and non-confrontational. "I don't...I don't know. Look my friends and I, we came here in peace. We're explorers. We'll share information if we have it."
The creature asked again, "What fate Omoroca!?!"
Daniel stammered in frustration as he repeated his answer, "I...I...I don't...I don't know!"
The creature made some unintelligible noise, then turned and walked across the room. Daniel glared at its back. 'Damn it, Jack. This would be a great time for you guys to come charging in and mount a rescue. Any time now.'
The creature was pulling down a handle and revealing a cup. "Nourishment." Then he pulled out a hard clear slab that looked narrow and uncomfortable. "Sleep."
Daniel looked at them suspiciously, and then back at the creature. 'Just how long does he plan to keep me here?' Daniel wondered. He said to the alien's back, "Look, um, I can't...I can't tell you what I don't know."
The alien's tone was angry, "You will, or you will die!"
Daniel froze, trying to look harmless without cowering. He was pretty sure that the harmless-looking part was successful- he wasn't so sure about the other. 'Oh. This is bad. This is very bad. Jack, where the heck *are* you?'
#
Daniel paced back and forth after the creature left him alone in the room. He prodded several of the mysterious devices, but had no idea what they were. The cup contained some sort of weedy stuff and there was another behind it, filled with water Daniel tasted the weeds and spit them out hurriedly. Salty slime with an unpleasant fishy undertaste. "Ugh. Sashimi it's not." He considered it carefully. "I wonder how much this guy knows about human physiology?"
He wished he'd been paying better attention to Sam's part of the briefing. He hadn't been all that interested in this planet since the MALP had reported no signs of people or structures. There was something about metallic salts here- He was pretty sure they were bad for humans to eat and had a vague recollection they could be absorbed into plants. Daniel decided hungry or not, he was going to have to be a lot more desperate than he currently was to eat this stuff. But he had to drink and did. The water seemed relatively pure, if not especially adequate given the amount he'd been losing to sweat.
The platform was as hard as it looked. And it was the first time Daniel had been left alone since he had regained consciousness. After sitting on it for about five seconds, he jumped up and wandered around the room. He wished for about the hundredth time the creature had left him his glasses. He spoke aloud. "Okay, if wishes were horses, etc. What would Jack do?" Daniel remembered the colonel's approach when they were stranded on Ernest's planet and took stock of his resources.
He looked around. "What I have-- I have physical freedom within this space. I have all these gadgets- assuming I had the foggiest idea what any of them did, and anyway I doubt the alien would have left them here if I could use them to get out. I need a way out. I need my friends." The last statement hit him with a wave of mingled shame and longing. He wouldn't feel nearly so alone if even one of his teammates were here. They had to be concerned about him too. Jack, Sam and Teal'c were all very conscientious about looking out for their civilian.
He frowned and stuffed the fear and loneliness firmly back into the box marked 'Not useful at this time'. "Okay, the alien needed someone to talk to, and I was the one who recognized Akkadian. So either the alien didn't take the others--" '-and they're out there right now, figuring out how to get me back-' "--or they're locked up here somewhere." He refused to consider the possibility that they had simply been killed. Now that he and the alien were communicating, he would ask it again where the rest of his team was. Just as soon as it came back.
Meanwhile, he could look for a way out. He began a minute examination of the room and everything in it. It took hours. And then he did it again. The huge viewport kept drawing his attention. What he had at first thought was an aquarium was actually a window. The lab or whatever it was was definitely underwater. That explained why there had been no visible signs of life on the planet. In fact, there probably wasn't even an entrance above the surface-- the alien had swum out of the surf to meet them, and Daniel had been pretty wet when he woke up-- he'd certainly come to this place through the ocean.
He plucked his damp T-shirt away from his skin. He'd been right about it not getting drier. He wondered idly if Sam could use the rate at which a T-shirt dried to measure the passage of time. He went back to the window and tapped it experimentally. It felt slick and somehow greasy. His knuckles made no noise on it. Not glass, maybe some kind of plastic? He looked out at the ocean floor. If the alien hadn't taken the others, and if this complex were completely hidden under the sea-- "How are they going to find me?" he whispered. The lab swallowed his words without an echo, and all Daniel could hear was the faint hiss of bubbles in the fluid-filled columns.
When the alien finally returned, Daniel was sprawled on the stone steps, trying to figure out his next move. He immediately blurted out the questions he'd been obsessing over. "Where are my friends? Are they alive? Are they here somewhere? I demand that I be allowed to speak with them."
The creature said, "They are gone."
Gone as in- no. Just no. Daniel ignored the possibility that 'gone' was a euphemism, and said, "No. They would not leave without me."
The creature said, "You are no more." Daniel wished he could read its expressions. If it had expressions. No more, there's a euphemism-- Daniel realized what the creature was saying, "They think that I'm..." 'Dead.' If that was true-- but it couldn't be. His teammates were bright people. They'd never fall for it.
The alien replied, "This memory I gave them, so they would not return."
He *gave* them a memory? If there was some kind of alien tech involved, they might have believed it, at least for a while. 'Ooh. Jack is going to be really, really annoyed when he figures this out. He hates people messing with his mind.' "Why? Why are you doing this?"
"You are oldest. You know of Babylon. What fate Omoroca!"
He wasn't the oldest. He was the youngest of the team-- but he was the one who knew Akkadian. Okay, that was indeed why he'd been chosen. Now if he just understood *why*-- "Okay, okay, if my life is on the line here, I need to know more. What is Omoroca? *Who* is Omoroca?"
The creature seemed nearly as frustrated as he was. It growled at him, "My *mate*!"
His mate? "What? On Earth? In Babylon?"
"Yes."
"And you don't know what's happened to her? That was four thousand years ago!" This alien was four thousand years old? That would make it as old as some Goa'uld.
"Knowledge, you have knowledge!" the alien insisted.
Daniel was appalled. One alien being, on earth four thousand years ago. Where would he even start? It wasn't like they kept records of tourist visas. "Of Babylon, yes, but only a small amount of knowledge has survived all that time!"
The creature reached out and touched his head. He froze, trying not to flinch, but it wasn't trying to harm him. "The knowledge is there. In your mind."
Daniel tried to explain, "Okay you're asking me to remember something...that happened thousands and thousands of years before I was born. To tell you something that I couldn't possibly know!"
"You deceive!" The angry tone was back.
Daniel wanted to scream and throw things. "Why! God, Why, why, why would I do that!" He practically jumped up and down in frustration. Damn it, he'd help if he could. How could he not feel for the creature, missing his mate for thousands of years? A chill shivered down his spine-- that could be him, looking for Sha're, if they both lived that long. But the alien was asking the impossible.
The creature said, "You serve the Goa'uld!"
Daniel flashed on a memory of the creature holding its hand above Teal'c's pouch, just before it attacked them. Was that what this was all about? The attack, everything, because he had recognized Teal'c as a Jaffa and thought they were working for the Goa'uld? He protested. "No! No! Now I lost my wife-- my mate-- because of the Goa'uld. They took her from me, and I despise them for that!"
"Then tell me-- what *fate*!" the creature roared.
Daniel yelled back, "*I don't know*!!!"
The creature stalked away growling. Daniel repeated it to his departing back. "I don't know!"
#
The door the creature had left through was sealed tightly. He couldn't budge it. He turned back to the window. At this point he was getting desperate enough to risk flooding the room with seawater. He had no idea how long he'd been unconscious from the initial attack, but it had felt like he'd been out for while. Hours, not minutes. And it had to have been at least a day since he woke up. He was starting to be very afraid that Jack and the others had believed the false memories. That they weren't coming back.
He rested his forehead on the window, watching a fish dart through the seagrass. And how hard was anybody going to look, anyway? Daniel wasn't as oblivious as he pretended to be. Except for his teammates and maybe Ferretti, the military personnel of the SGC thought Jack and the general had to be insane for allowing him onto a field team. Civilians belonged in a nice safe lab at the base, translating from photographs. If they belonged there at all. More than one person had told Daniel that to his face. He was sure they said a lot worse behind his back. If he died on a mission, the concensus would be it was no more than they should have expected. He pushed away from the transparent surface impatiently, and then slammed a fist into it. "Ow! Crap!"
He glared at the window. If this place had a weak point, that was it. Hitting it only bruised his hands. Ramming it with a shoulder proved just as useless and even more painful. He could find nothing else to hit it with. The machines were too large to move, the delicate transparent sculptures too light to do any damage. And anyway they were too beautiful to break. Daniel started examining one of the complex gadgets. If he couldn't make it work, maybe he could liberate a chunk of metal he could try against the window.
He wondered what his teammates would be doing right now if they thought he was dead. Jack would be angry at losing a team member, he supposed, and wishing he'd never let Daniel talk his way onto the team. Daniel felt especially sorry to be letting Jack down this way. He owed Jack a lot-- the older man had given him unwavering support since his return to Earth. They had an odd rapport, forged in blood and terror under the burning sun of Abydos. Something neither one of them was always comfortable with; some days, they seemed to have so little in common Daniel wondered if Jack regretted the kindly impulse to invite him home that first night.
Sam would wish he'd finished translating those inscriptions SG-3 had brought back. He thought she'd probably miss the late nights they'd spent together in the lab as well. Teal'c would feel that his failure to restore Sha're to her husband was one more thing the Jaffa had to atone for. 'God, I can't let that happen. I have to get back.' Probably they'd be writing reports for General Hammond about his death. It gave him a weird lost kind of feeling, like someone had yanked a rug out from under him. 'That's if they made it home.'
He couldn't help but worry about them, his vivid imagination instantly conjuring three figures in desert fatigues crumpled on a beach beside the sea, blood soaking the sand. He'd much rather visualize them sitting in the briefing room or the commissary. Jack would be bored and fidgeting, coming out with some goofy remark, while Sam tried to decide between rolling her eyes and smiling. Teal'c would watch the antics of his Tau'ri teammates with bemusement. He'd once confessed to Daniel that the mixture of frank enthusiasm, ingenuity and utter determination the Tau'ri brought to their explorations were more alien to him than any of their technology or unfamiliar customs.
Daniel sighed. He really missed them. If his team were here, Sam would figure out how these machines worked and get the door open. Jack would crack stupid jokes while distracting and baffling their alien captor. Teal'c might have knowledge of this race that would help, or at the very least he would support them all with his strength and vast calm. Instead, Daniel had only himself.
He went back to the door, trying again to see how the red handle worked. If there were some way to pry it off-- He wondered idly who they'd choose to replace him. A soldier, no doubt. Someone who'd follow orders and stick to the mission objectives, rather than being endlessly fascinated by the people and cultures they encountered. He ran his hands over the door control control again. It didn't shift at all, even though he was sure it had moved under the alien's hand. He banged on it impatiently. He had to get out of here. Suppose the alien was lying? If Jack was- unable- who'd search for Sha're and Skaara then?
The alien came back and caught him. If it could be said to have caught him when he was making no progress whatsoever. Daniel mentally added a screwdriver to the list of things he wished he'd had in his pockets. "You cannot leave this place," the alien said.
Daniel rolled his eyes and pressed his forehead to the doorframe. This was really getting old.
"You will tell me all you know of Babylon," it said.
If Daniel had been less tired, he'd have been encouraged. That was slight progress- the creature finally seemed to understand he had no idea what it wanted to know, and it was trying another tack. Instead he sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall dispiritedly, "Do you know how much has been lost? Great libraries burned to the ground, cities destroyed by wars. Most of our history is buried in time."
The alien sounded accusatory. "You are afraid."
'Duh.' Of course he was. Jack should see him now. What was it he'd said after their trip to the Land of Light? "Daniel, I'd worry about you less if you were more cowardly." Which was silly- it wasn't that Daniel wasn't afraid. Just that he'd never let being afraid stop him from doing what he had to do. Whether it was facing people with weapons who wanted to do him harm or people on dissertation committees- his mind was wandering. Daniel looked at the tall alien and replied candidly, "Yes, I'm afraid. I'm afraid you are asking the impossible of me, and you will not allow me to return home."
The alien said, "Omoroca was afraid."
Daniel raised his head, his attention caught. This *was* progress. The alien was talking to him. "On-- On Earth?"
"Yes."
Daniel wondered if perhaps there was something he could tell the creature. If only he knew a little more-- "Of what, of who? I mean, give me something to work with here, a time frame."
"Babylon."
That was way too general. If he was to have any chance of even identifying the period, he'd need something more specific. "A name, a name of someone she spoke of?" Daniel demanded. He felt ridiculously like one of the silly people he'd met abroad who'd say, "Oh, you're American? My cousin Guillermo lives in the U.S., do you know him?" He could get the names of everyone Omoroca had ever known on Earth and there might still be no record of any of them.
"Belos."
Daniel repeated it, trying to match the word with familiar names in Babylonian history. There was something-- he was starting to feel a rising tide of excitement washing away his fatigue and anxiety. "Belos... Belos... Belos... something... yes. Yes... um... Belos something." This was maddening. It had been ages since he'd even thought about Babylonian history in any kind of detail. But there was something, if he could just remember it-- he climbed to his feet, finding it easier to think while in motion. "Yes." He finally called up a fragment of the elusive memory. "Yes. In the writing of Berosus, a contemporary of Alexander the Great, he studied some very old ancient Babylonian text, pre-Flood." He paced, his hands slicing through the air in shorty choppy motions. He could barely recall the name, let alone the story. He let out frustrated growl. "Tell me more."
"Omoroca feared Belos," the alien said. It was staring at him, in fascination. In hope?
Daniel nodded. "Yes, he was a conqueror. Tell me more. I need more." His voice crackled with urgency.
The alien stared at him in silence.
"Come on!" Daniel pleaded. "Come on, you can't expect me to remember every book, every text that I studied ten or twelve years ago!" Well, if the creature had been around for four thousand years, perhaps it could. A thought struck him, "Look, come back to Earth with me. My books, my library, it's all there." If there was anything to find, between his library and the resources of the SGC, he could dig it out.
The alien became agitated. "You serve the Goa'uld!"
'Oh, god, not this again.' "*No!* God, no! How many times do I have to tell you, no!"
The alien said, "It is the fate of humans. That, Omoroca could not prevent."
Daniel was stunned. He walked over to look the alien in the eye. "Omoroca came to Earth to fight the Goa'uld? That is why she came to Earth?"
The alien said, "Yes."
"Then my people owe her a great debt," Daniel said. He could feel the awe and wonder that came when he was making a momentus new discovery. Could this be why Earth had been free of the Goa'uld influence for thousands of years? Had these creatures, like the Asgard, tried to help humans? Damn it, they were on the same side!
"She failed!" the alien said bitterly.
Maybe not. "No, there was a rebellion, an uprising in ancient Egypt, I mean maybe she helped plant the seed." Daniel had never considered there might have been aliens besides the Asgard trying to help in the fight against the Goa'uld. He was going to have to research this. He needed his library--
"Goa'uld, are among you, within you!" the alien insisted.
Daniel remembered his conjecture that the alien had sensed the Goa'uld larva. Probably it had no idea that the Tau'ri could detect a Goa'uld in a human body. "Teal'c? You think because Teal'c carries around a larval Goa'uld-" He shook his head. "No, you see, he joined us in the fight *against* the Goa'uld." Yeah, that one was a hard sell practically everywhere. Daniel refocused on the main point. "You see, in the years, the thousands of years," he emphasized, "since Omoroca was there, we have become a civilization that rivals that of the Goa'uld. That's how far we have come. We are free."
The alien stared at him uncertainly. Daniel was sure he was making an impression. He tried to project all his sincerity, "If you would just come back with me, I can show you." For a minute, Daniel thought he had convinced the creature to trust him.
The alien's eyes stopped wavering, and he said firmly, "Knowledge is here!", putting both hands on Daniel's head again.
Daniel pushed them away. "Not as much as you think. Really. Look. What's your name?"
The alien said, "Tell me what fate Omoroca."
Daniel said impatiently. "I wish I could. You have no idea how much." He took a deep calming breath and summoned up patience, pointing to his chest. "Daniel. I'm Daniel. My mate is Sha're. She was taken by the Goa'uld." He paused but still seemed to have creature's attention. "We are human." He gestured in the alien's general direction. "Your mate is Omoroca. We don't know her fate. You?" He pointed at the alien's chest..
The alien stared at him. "Nem." He said finally. He hesitated a moment. "We are Oannes."
"Oannes." Daniel straightened his shoulders. He had no idea whether Omoroca could have affected any of the little Babylonian history he knew, but perhaps if he told Nem about it, the alien would realize how much knowledge had been lost. "Okay. So let me tell you what I know about Babylon."
It didn't take long. "More." Nem insisted.
"Nem, I don't know any more." Daniel was slumped against the wall again. Nem had given him more water to drink, but his blood sugar was definitely somewhere around his ankles. Whenever his attention wandered, he'd catch a glimpse of someone standing in the shadows, usually Jack, sometimes Sam or Teal'c, but when he turned his head, it was a mirage. It had to have been two days or more since Nem had captured him. The borderline-hallucination optical illusions were something he'd only experienced when he'd gone without sleep for extended periods. Two full days at least, and no one had come looking for him. 'That's because no one knows you're here. You 'are no more.' Jack isn't coming for you.' He tipped his head back and knocked it gently against the wall to dislodge the thought. If he could just figure out what happened to Omoroca--
The frustrating part was he probably had known more once. He'd studied Babylon as an undergraduate before his graduate studies had focused him more tightly on Egypt. If he could only remember- He'd read a speculation somewhere that humans really remembered everything they had ever experienced. The problem was retrieval. And that gave him an idea.
"My friend, the others who came with me, you made them think that I was--"
"Lost to them," Nem said.
This was no time for imprecision. "Dead."
"Yes."
"How?" Daniel asked. Something Nem had told him when he had first asked was bugging him.
"I gave them the memory of your death," Nem said.
Daniel leaned forward, "If you can influence memory like that, why don't you search my mind? You say that the memory is in there, that I must have come across it years ago, and I just don't remember it."
Nem agreed, "Yes."
Then why had they spent all this time talking around the problem, Daniel wondered. "Then take it! I mean if you have the power, if you have the technology, use it."
Nem said, "It would damage!"
'Oh. That would be why.' Daniel reviewed his list of ideas on what to try next. That would be none. Jack probably wouldn't approve of this. He shrugged, Jack wasn't here. He was the only one who could get himself out of this mess. "Well, given my options, I am willing to take the risk."
Nem said, "I am not."
Daniel was surprised and a little touched. Nem's mate had been missing for four thousand years. He was desperate enough to kidnap and threaten Daniel, but he wasn't willing to injure him? He put his hand on Nem's shoulder, "Look-- I don't have four thousand years. Maybe you can afford to search all that time, but I can't."
Nem was weakening, "There will be much pain. You may die."
Daniel said firmly, "Well, I would rather die than stay here in the knowledge that I will never see my wife, or my friends again." 'Can't make an omelet without- bleh, bad image,' Daniel shuddered. 'One way or another, I'm getting out of here.'
Nem led him to an uncomfortable-looking device and gestured. Daniel climbed onto it cautiously and settled into its odd contours as Nem fastened some straps around him. 'Kind of like a dentist chair, ' he thought. 'Except they don't tie you down.'
Nem told him, "The memory of your history, your race, is within you. Beneath the surface."
Daniel swallowed. Genetic memory. Nem thought humans had genetic memory, like the Goa'uld, only in the subconscious. Daniel knew there were people on earth who believed that too, but they were generally called crackpots. 'Of course there are a lot of people who called me a crackpot, and I was right.' Daniel still doubted the genetic memory hypothesis himself. He was hoping that the machine could bring back memories of things he had read and forgotten. And if they still didn't find anything useful, then perhaps Nem would believe him and let him go back to Earth to research this. Or maybe Nem was right, and racial memories were buried somewhere in his subconscious. Only one way to find out. "I hope so."
"You may be damaged," Nem was obviously having second or third thoughts about this.
Daniel said, "I understand." 'Let's get on with it, shall we? And if- when- I get home, I'm going to read or reread every mythology of every culture I can find so it's all fresh in my mind if I need it.'
"You could die," Nem warned again.
'And you could let me go home.' But Daniel didn't want Nem to start insisting all humans served the Goa'uld again. And they'd already covered this, "Well, we don't really have a choice, do we?"
Nem started the machine. There was a flash of blue light, and then pain, rapidly worsening. The pain was.. bad. Really bad. Goa'uld ribbon device bad. Daniel remembered reading somewhere that the human brain blurred memories of pain. If they didn't, people would never choose to take risks that could get them hurt. Daniel tried to focus on Nem's voice, tried to remember Omorocca. There was something there, a memory, but the unimaginable pain kept getting worse. He gasped out what he could and said, "Ow! Oh...I can't!"
The hum of the machine rose in pitch and Nem said, "More."
The pain increased. And there was more there, the machine stirring everything he knew, everything he had ever known. Daniel was awash in memory, millions of words in over two dozen languages falling through his mind like water, as he tried to comprehend it all at once. He gasped at the intensity of the pain, his mind stretched on the rack of Nem's machine. But it was working. He remembered Omoroca, and managed to get out the information Nem wanted through gritted teeth. Then he just screamed.
Nem was stopping the machine. He knew Nem had stopped the machine, but the echoing tremors of agony vibrated along his nerve endings until the memory of pain was as bad as the pain itself. Sweat poured off him, and he felt chilled and nauseous, despite the white spike of pain swamping other sensations. 'Get a grip, already.' He found his voice, raw and unfamiliar. "Oh! Oh...I'm...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...that's all I ever knew...I swear." Nem must have unfastened him, because his arms and legs were free. He stayed on the chair, not sure his legs would hold him up if he tried to stand.
Nem said, "Belos." There was implacable hatred in his tone.
Daniel's breathing was steadying as the pain lessened. He said cautiously, "He was a Goa'uld."
"Yes. He murdered...my love!" Nem's voice shook.
Despite the ordeal Nem had put him through, Daniel couldn't help feeling sympathy. How would he feel if he had looked for Sha're for that long and finally lost her? Words were so inadequate. "I'm sorry."
Nem keened mournfully in his ocean fortress. Daniel watched him helplessly, feeling some of his strength return. But the hollowness of his stomach was a constant ache, and Daniel was definitely feeling the effects of those days without food. At last Nem's howl of desolate grief ceased, and Daniel opened his mouth to ask if he could go home.
Except just then an alarm buzzed, and Nem turned away from him without a word, walked across the room and stepped through the window- that selfsame window that Daniel had bruised his shoulder trying to break. His mouth fell open. Some kind of force field? Sam would be fascinated. He slid out of the chair onto shaky legs, amazed everything seemed to be responding more or less normally
He walked over to the window. An experimental hand against the water showed it was now permeable. His fatigue fell away in a surge of adrenaline, and he stepped through, stroking for the surface in Nem's wake, belatedly hoping that he wasn't so far below the surface he needed to worry about pressure changes.
It was only twenty or thirty feet at most, he decided, but more than enough for his lungs to be bursting when he surfaced into brilliant sunlight. He spit out water, coughing. He was astonished to see three blurry figures standing on the shore staring, as Nem waded through the shallows toward them. He was almost dizzy with relief. They were okay, and they were here. They came for him. Jack would be furious at Nem for taking one of his team--
He sucked in a lungful of air and bellowed loudly, "Don't shoot!" He swam after Nem as strongly as he could, until the water became shallow enough to stand and stumble toward the alien and his teammates. The gentle surf seemed to suck at his legs and his knees were still wobbly. The light was almost blinding after days in dimness, but he relished the heat on his shoulders and the thinner, dryer taste of the air.
He turned to Nem, "Nem, you have your answer. Now let us go." The alien's weapon notwithstanding, Jack and the others wouldn't allow themselves to be taken by surprise twice. Daniel was really hoping that they could get out of this without bloodshed.
Nem said, "You may go."
Daniel wanted to sag with relief. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the answer you wanted."
"I am sorry also."
Was it possible anything could be salvaged from this? After all, Omoroca had tried to help the people of Earth. "We could still become friends, your people-and- and mine," Daniel suggested.
Daniel saw a little flicker of incredulity flash across Jack's face, but Sam seemed to be on the same wavelength at least. "That's why we were here. We meant no harm," she agreed earnestly.
The alien was still hard to read, but Daniel thought he was still too swamped with grief to agree. "Perhaps in time."
Well at least he hadn't rejected the idea outright. But Daniel's tone was still disappointed as he said, "Right."
The alien looked at him with something that was almost compassion, "And in time, Daniel, you will find, what fate-- Sha're." Somehow, across the gulf between their species, he and Nem had connected. Despite the terror, frustration and pain it had cost him to get there, Daniel couldn't help but be pleased about that. It renewed his faith in-- 'Not humanity exactly, um, sentient life? Doesn't have the same ring.'
Daniel watched Nem go back into the water. His head ached ferociously. and the sun was bright enough to make his eyes water, but the contrast with the brain-melting pain of Nem's machine was so great, he felt almost good. Or perhaps that was punchiness. He couldn't remember ever having been so exhausted. He looked around at Sam, Jack and Teal'c, who had moved closer to him. Or so relieved to see his teammates. He hadn't let himself think too much about how desperately worried he'd been for them until he saw them standing on the beach, suspiciously pointing their weapons at Nem. He was grateful beyond words they hadn't believed Nem's memory machine. He wondered if they'd been searching for him all this time.
Seeing the rather bewildered expressions on their faces, he realized that from their point of view, their dead teammate had just swum to shore, told them not to shoot the alien who had previously attacked them and finished what was obviously a long personal conversation with it. Him. Whatever. "Ah, this-- this is a long story."
"Yeah I bet!" Sam was smiling at him.
Jack said. "Tell us about it over sushi?"
Daniel felt a bizarre urge to laugh. "That's funny-" The tiredness seemed to wash over in him in waves. "Uh I will, *after* I go get some sleep." 'And if I'm finding Jack's humor funny, I definitely need it.' SG-1 wasn't moving, so he started walking toward the stargate. It was either that or lie down on the sand and take a nap right here. To his relief, the others followed. They were all still smiling. Even Teal'c had a definite upward curve to his lips. Daniel figured he had to look pretty silly, dripping wet. His boots squelched slightly as he walked. He was probably going to get blisters, but it wasn't worth the trouble to stop and wring out his socks at this point. At least he didn't have far to walk.
"Ah-- home-- yeah about that apartment--" Jack drawled.
"Oh you didn't!" Daniel stopped short. They couldn't be serious. Damn it, he hadn't had that apartment for even six months yet. He *liked* his apartment. He was just starting to wonder if this wasn't a practical joke on Jack's part when Sam chimed in.
"Uh-- the day after the memorial service." She looked way too upset for this to be a joke. Wait a minute..
"Memorial service?!" They had a...they really *had* thought he was dead! Perhaps Nem's machine had been more convincing than he had realized. Daniel tried to figure out how long he'd been held in Nem's little underwater prison. Without a watch or any external cues, he'd completely lost track of time.
"The colonel said some really nice things!" Sam was adding defensively.
Daniel blinked. "He-he did." They asked Jack to eulogize him? And he said nice things? "He did?" he repeated more skeptically. Now that he had trouble believing. Jack wasn't the type to bow to convention and speak kindly of the dead. Especially when there wasn't anyone around who'd much care what he said. He shook his head and firmly quashed the plaintive inner voice that wanted to ask 'what nice things?' and 'did many people come?'. "How long have I been here?"
Jack sobered. "Four days, Daniel."
'Four-?! God, no wonder I feel like crap.' Daniel glanced over at him and saw a shadow of the same guilt he remembered from when Jack had punched him out while under the influence of the Neanderthal virus. "So what made you come back?"
Jack flinched, and Sam said, "We honestly never meant to leave you-- we had these memories..."
"Nem implanted memories of me dying." Daniel nodded, and stifled a yawn. "He said." He was grateful that the stargate was looming up ahead of them.
Sam looked curious, "I don't suppose he mentioned how--?"
Daniel shook his head, "Sorry, Sam. I didn't think to ask. I was a little busy." Daniel moved automatically to his usual place at the DHD and briskly tapped the address for Earth. Teal'c had made an abortive gesture to take his place and then stood back. While Sam input the GDO code, Daniel tried to squeeze some of the moisture out of his hair, then gave it up as a lost cause. At least without his glasses, he was unlikely to notice people staring at him. His friends waited for him to join them in front of the gate, then Daniel stepped forward, Teal'c and Jack to either side of him.
He normally felt cold after coming out of a wormhole, but this time Daniel emerged feeling like he'd been frozen into a block of ice. As unpleasant as it had been spending four days in varying degrees of dampness, it had been too humid in Nem's underwater lair to feel chilled. And under the hot sun of Oannes, the water had actually been rather pleasant. Going through the gate on the other hand-- Daniel was going to highly recommend that people not go through the gate while soaking wet. He stumbled down the ramp, barely aware that Teal'c and Jack were staying close beside him, and wrapped both arms around himself, instantly beginning to shiver. His eyes started to close involuntarily, and he swayed.
Teal'c and Jack took his arms to hold him upright and he shook his head doglike, trying to clear it, then pulled free from his teammates' hold. He'd much rather walk to the infirmary by himself. He vaguely noticed there seemed to be an unusual number of people in the gate room. General Hammond was waiting at the foot of the ramp. He was also smiling at sight of the waterlogged archeologist.
"Dr. Jackson?" he asked. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, sir, I'm fine," Daniel said. "Um, sorry for all the confusion." He was aware of Jack exchanging a look with the general.
The general said, "Welcome back, son. Report to the infirmary."
Daniel nodded and ignored the nurse with the gurney and the noisy crowd of people standing around in favor of continuing to put one foot in front of another to get to the infirmary.
His team tagged along behind but thankfully Janet Fraiser banished them from the examining area and sent for warm blankets. Daniel resisted sitting down. "Dr. Fraiser, can I maybe get some dry clothes--?"
"Of course." She smiled sympathetically, and he was allowed to change into scrubs and towel his hair off before snuggling into the warm blankets gratefully. "Mm. Going through the gate wet is not my idea of a good time." Daniel said. He'd actually seen a few slivers of ice in the folds of the wet uniform he'd just shed.
She said, "How do you feel?"
"Tired." Daniel said promptly. "I want to go to sleep." Actually, putting off sleep any longer might not even be an option. Now that the adrenaline had worn off and he was warming up, the room was getting fuzzy around the edges. He watched it with interest out of the corner of his eye.
She ran her fingers lightly over his skull, "Are you injured? Did you hit your head?"
"No, nothing like that. Not hurt." Daniel yawned. "M'just tired."
"Dr. Jackson, how much sleep have you gotten in the last four days?" Fraiser asked him.
Daniel's rule with doctors, developed since joining the SGC, was that you minimize problems as much as possible, so as to get out of the infirmary faster. The problem was, he wasn't much of a liar so his answers normally had to have some level of truth in them. In this case, he was going to have trouble giving the right answer and still have it be truthful. "Um, does unconsciousness count?"
Fraiser gave him an irritated look. "No."
"Uh." Daniel looked sheepish. "That would be none then." He yawned again.
"Ah-hah." She flashed a light in his eyes, as she asked, "When were you unconscious?"
"Ow!" Daniel flinched and batted at the light as it sent stabbing pain through his head. "The alien knocked us all out when he captured us."
The doctor gave him a startled look. "Have you been that sensitive to light ever since?"
Daniel mumbled, "I don't know," as the shafts of pain finally started to settle down to a dull ache.
She was looking at him anxiously. "When Colonel O'Neill and the others returned, they were also very sensitive to light. We thought it was a side effect of the machine the alien-"
"Nem," Daniel supplied.
"Nem used on them. But if you have it as well..."
Daniel was feeling a strong desire to put the blanket over his head and let the doctor talk to that. "Used it on me too," he confessed. "To help me remember."
She stared. "Remember what?"
"Babylon." Daniel yawned hugely. "Tell you about it in the debrief?" He squinted in the direction of her blurred form. Really ought to get his glasses, he thought. It was probably part of the reason his head hurt.
But then Fraiser disappeared outside the curtained examination area. At last! Daniel pulled his chilled feet up onto the bed, muffling them in the warm blanket with a sigh of pleasure. Then he curled into a ball, pulled the blanket up over his still wet hair and fell sound asleep.
#
Warm, dry, comfortable. Daniel could have stayed there forever, but finally the rustle of footsteps penetrated the fog. The smell of disinfectant let him identify the infirmary before he even opened his eyes. What had he done this time? He seemed to have spent an awful lot of time here since joining the SGC, granted that much of it had been routine checks, or visiting other people. He didn't actually feel that bad- bit of a headache, his mouth was dry, full bladder. He finally moved, stretching, and opened his eyes. Nothing worse than stiff muscles. Why-? Oh.
The events of the past four days came flooding back. Oannes. Nem. His teammates leaving him. Speaking of his teammates-- he blinked blurrily at them. Jack was sitting in the chair beside the bed, Sam was beside him, and the dark shadow on the other side was Teal'c, looking like a statue of a Jaffa.
"Daniel?" Jack said, sounding worried.
Daniel squinted and looked around again, counting. Three plus him was the right number. "Jack. What's going on?" He sat up, realizing that he was still in the scrubs that Fraiser had given him an unknown time period before. And he smelled like seaweed. Ugh.
Sam was looking at him with a rather peculiar expression. "Nothing. We've been waiting around for you to wake up."
"And waiting. And waiting." Jack muttered. "How do you feel?" he asked in a louder tone.
Daniel blinked. "I'm fine. I was just tired." Okay, he still had a headache, albeit somewhat better than when he had returned. "And I need a shower. When's the debrief?"
Sam and Jack were both still staring at him. "What?"
Teal'c said. "The debriefing was postponed until you could attend."
"Um, okay." Daniel was starting to be a little uncomfortable with the way they were all staring at him. "So maybe I should get that shower?" Daniel's stomach rumbled. "And something to eat. I'm starving." He cast a dark look at Jack. "But no sushi." Actually he was hungry enough he might eat it anyway. His teammates were starting to act a bit more normal, thank heavens. Though they looked rather tired themselves.
Then Dr. Fraiser came in and shooed them out. "Ah, sleeping beauty awakes. Will you people finally get out of my infirmary?"
Daniel looked from her to his reluctantly retreating teammates. "I'm fine doctor. Really. Just hungry and I need a shower." He gave her a pleading look.
"I'll be the judge of that." She let him visit a rest room, then ran him through another set of tests, including an MRI.
"Hmm." She studied it thoughtfully.
"What?" Daniel asked.
"Yesterday, you told me that you had been subjected to the same machine that the others had. But I don't see the same kind of brain chemistry modifications in you. " She told him. "Your brain chemistry is slightly off, but nothing like theirs. And the samples we took twelve hours ago show marked improvement versus the ones we took immediately after you returned."
"Twelve hours ago? " Daniel was a little startled. "Um how long did I sleep?"
"Twenty-six hours." She smiled at his surprise. "And you never even twitched when we drew blood. You were pretty exhausted."
He looked down at his arm and the several bandages there. "IV?" he asked.
Fraiser said, "Fluids mainly, and some glucose. You were dehydrated."
Daniel nodded and his stomach growled again. The sense of well-being he had awoken with was fading to irritation. "Can I please go get something to eat?" he asked plaintively. "I've had nothing but a mouthful of seaweed in days, and I'm starving."
Dr. Fraiser's expression softened. "Well, I don't see why not. You're in better shape than the rest of your team at the moment."
Daniel's slide off the bed in a doorward motion was suddenly arrested. "What?"
Fraiser looked at him quizzically. He stared at her. "Why do you say that? Sam, Jack and Teal'c were just here-- is something wrong with them?"
She smiled. "No, but they've been sitting here waiting for you to wake up since you all got back. Now they're tired is all. I tried to tell them you were going to be out for a while, but they wouldn't leave, and to tell you the truth, I didn't have the heart to make them."
"Oh." Daniel was incredulous that they had stayed so long. "They were here for twenty-six hours?! That's..um. They didn't have to do that. I just needed sleep."
"They've been having a pretty bad week." Fraiser said.
Daniel suddenly flashed, 'same brain chemistry modifications that they had'. "Um, what happened to them? I mean, Nem told me that he gave them a memory of me dying, but I didn't see-- Did he hurt them?"
Janet Fraiser shook her head. "Not really. Well, they got splitting headaches whenever they tried to think about going back. That was a conditioned response we presume was implanted to discourage us from sending anyone back to look for you. And they have been having flashbacks to the implanted memories. Hopefully those will fade now that you're back."
"Oh." Daniel said. "That sounds unpleasant." They thought about going back, even though they thought he was dead? The thought was obscurely comforting, and made up for a lot of the feelings of abandonment he'd had trapped in Nem's lab. "But they're okay now?"
The doctor nodded. "Yes, or they'd still be here." She gave him a look that made him think she was reconsidering letting him out.
Daniel resumed his doorward motion. "Okay then. I'll just go get that food. And shower.."
#
He actually went for the shower first. He had the locker room to himself and stood in the shower longer than he normally would have, the warm water surprisingly pleasant after being damp for four days. Being able to get dry again afterwards was what made all the difference. Also, the underground base was normally a little cooler than he liked, and the scrubs weren't nearly warm enough, especially not when he was barefoot.
Back in uniform, spare glasses on, wearing a couple of layers of military issue cotton, clean dry socks and boots, he felt a lot more comfortable. He shook his head at his reflection in the mirror and reached for the shaving cream. When exactly had he started feeling comfortable in uniform? He couldn't remember.
Cleanshaven, he felt something close to normal, though his head still ached persistantly. He was closing his locker as SG-2 came in. "Hey, Daniel!" Ferretti grinned. "Rumors of your death-" Somewhat to his surprise, the other three members of SG-2 had stopped as well and were smiling at him.
"Yeah, yeah, greatly exaggerated." Daniel said with a faint smile. He had a feeling he was about to become very tired of the Twain quote. "It's good to be back."
"What happened?" Ferretti asked.
Daniel winced, "Oh, long, long story. Uh, to make it short, the alien asked us who could read cuneiform, I said, 'that would be me', and he made me an offer I couldn't refuse."
"He made you an offer?" Warren said. "I heard he shot you, or stunned you or something."
"It's very difficult to refuse anything when you're unconscious," Daniel explained.
"Well I'm glad it was a false alarm," Ferretti said. "Try not to do that to us again."
"Yeah," Warren seconded. "I don't think we could take another funeral like that anytime soon. I'm still hungover." He patted Daniel's shoulder in a friendly manner while the other two soldiers laughed, and said, "Welcome back, doc."
Daniel nodded and headed for the comissary, pleased and a bit bemused at the cordial good wishes. SG-2 weren't the only ones in an exceptionally friendly mood, it seemed. As he made his way down the hall, he was stopped several times by people he barely knew, who wanted to say 'hello' and 'welcome back'. You'd think he'd been gone for a month. He smiled back at people a bit uncertainly and thanked them. Wow, everyone seemed to know about what happened on Oannes. There were even a couple of the marines, who normally despised all civilians, giving him pleasant looks. Daniel shook his head as he finally reached the cafeteria. Weird.
"Hey," Jack called. He glanced over to see Sam, Jack and Teal'c sitting at a table.
He waved distractedly and made a beeline for the food. And coffee. His headache had subsided to a dull throb, and he was pretty sure food, caffeine and the newly restored glasses were going to mostly fix it. From the selection of food, it looked like lunchtime. He needed to replace his watch. He chose a sandwich and soup more or less at random, figuring after four days of short rations, he should probably be a little careful. And coffee. He picked up the tray and headed over to sit with his team. "Hi," He sat down and took an enormous bite of sandwich.
They watched him, and he flushed a bit at his poor table manners. He swallowed and washed it down with a gulp of coffee. "Sorry, I'm really hungry."
"We would never have guessed." Jack said. "Can you be ready to debrief after you eat?"
Daniel nodded. "Sure." He started eating the soup more slowly. "Um, aren't you guys eating?" Jack and Sam had coffee cups in front of them, and Teal'c had an empty glass, but there weren't any plates.
"We already ate." Sam told him. They were still watching him with a rapt attention that would have been gratifying had he been delivering a briefing but was a little unnerving during lunch.
Daniel shifted self-consciously. "So, um, how did you figure out the implanted memories were false?"
That had at least gotten the attention off of him, as they had exchanged uncomfortable looks and briefly related the conflicted feelings they had had about his death, the hypnosis and their return to the planet.
It filled up the time as he finished his food. He looked wistfully at seconds but decided eating too much right then would be a mistake. Another lunch in a couple of hours would be wiser. He rose and the four members of SG-1 walked as a unit up to the briefing room.
Janet Fraiser joined them, and General Hammond lost no time calling the debriefing to order, smiling at Daniel in an avuncular manner. "Dr. Jackson, we're very pleased to have you back."
Daniel smiled back with real pleasure, warmed to his toes. "Thank you, sir. It's really good to *be* back." After the rocky start he'd had with General Hammond, he'd half-expected the general would have regarded his loss as one less headache in his command. His sincere welcome was a pleasant surprise.
As everyone settled, Hammond glanced around and then back at Daniel. "Well, Doctor, since yours is the story we haven't heard yet, you may as well start. What happened?"
Daniel related their capture by Nem. He noted the expressions of his teammates. Sam was nodding as he confirmed the memories she had reclaimed under hypnosis. Teal'c was listening with interest. Jack- Jack was pissed off, but then that was his usual reaction to having his mind meddled with. He continued. "So when I woke up, everyone else was gone. Nem showed me panels of cuneiform. I translated it, and we started to build up a working vocabulary. He picked up English very quickly." He didn't think they wanted to know the gory details of the language, especially Jack. He'd put those in his report, though he wasn't altogether certain anyone read them.
"Anyway, once we could talk well enough, I asked him about you guys." He nodded to his teammates. "That was when he told me- about the false memories." He had been going to say 'that you left without me', but he choked the words back and substitued the more neutral phrase at the last minute. The way Jack had flinched back on Oannes had told Daniel the colonel felt guilty about leaving him, even though there was nothing he could have done.
He continued. "I finally found out what he wanted was to know what happened to his mate, Omoroca. She was on Earth fighting the Goa'uld in the time of Babylon. The problem was, I couldn't remember. The name didn't ring any bells at all. I hadn't studied Babylonian history in over a decade. I tried to convince him to let me come back to the SGC, consult my library. I offered to let him come with me. But he was afraid we were enslaved by the Goa'uld." Daniel's remembered frustration crept into his tone. "I could have looked up what he wanted to know so easily, but he wouldn't let me go. Wouldn't let me communicate back to the SGC. He kept asking me, over and over to try and remember Omoroca."
Jack was puzzled. "But when we left, you said that he had his answer. You must have-"
Dr. Fraiser was regarding him with dawning comprehension. "Was that when he used his memory machine on you?"
Daniel said. "Um, yeah. He didn't want to; he was willing to wait. After all, he'd been trying to find out where his mate was for four thousand years. But I didn't have that long. So I told him to go ahead and try it." He glanced at Jack beside him, who was starting to look even more pissed off.
"You told him to just use his piece of whiz bang alien technology and rummage around in your head?" Jack said. "Was that wise?"
Daniel shrugged helplessly. "I didn't see what else there was to do. If I'd had the faintest glimmer I could have dredged it out on my own eventually. But I had nothing. It was the only way I could think of to convince him to let me go."
"Dr. Jackson, why didn't Nem want to do it?" Janet nailed him with the question he had really been hoping that no one would ask.
"Uh, he was afraid it would hurt me." Daniel said.
"What, after the headaches he gave us just for thinking too hard about his planet, he's all of a sudden squeamish?" Jack said. His eyes narrowed. "Afraid it would hurt you how?"
"Um, permanently." Daniel mumbled. He flinched at Jack's expression. "Look, I didn't like it either. I just didn't see what else there was to do."
"And did it hurt you?" Fraiser asked.
Daniel could see another battery of tests coming a mile away. He wondered morosely if he could convince her to let him have that second lunch first. "There's no damage as far as I can tell." He put his most optimistic spin on it. "I mean I'm still me, I feel fine."
The doctor rephrased the question. "Okay, we'll see about that. What did it feel like at the time?"
"What did what feel like?" Daniel could hear the defensiveness in his tone, and groaned inwardly. Nobody was going to stop asking questions now. "The probe? Um. It hurt."
"On a scale of one to ten?" Janet asked.
"About a twelve." Daniel admitted, and repeated, "But I feel fine now." Well, aside from the nagging headache. But that had gotten better with food and coffee, and he was pretty confident he was getting out of this more or less unscathed.
Dr. Fraiser had turned to General Hammond. "I think I should have Dr. Jackson back for a few more tests after the debriefing."
"Agreed." General Hammond said. "So then what happened, Dr. Jackson?"
Daniel said. "Well, I did know the answer. I read it somewhere, years ago. Omoroca was killed by a Goa'uld named Belos. Uh, pretty gruesomely, actually- murdered, cut into pieces. I told Nem that. He was pretty upset. That was when you guys showed up." He nodded to Jack, Sam and Teal'c. "He went out, I followed him. You know the rest." He looked at Fraiser and Hammond. "Um, he let us go. I suggested our races could be friends. He didn't close the door on it, but-" He shrugged. "We parted civilly enough."
"I should have shot him." Jack muttered.
"Jack." Daniel said reprovingly. "He wasn't uh, bad. Just desperate. He'd been trying to find out what happened to his mate for thousands of years."
Jack did not look mollified. "Kidnapping you and brainwashing us makes him pretty bad in my book."
Hammond called the end of the meeting and Daniel went back to the infirmary and sat more or less patiently through another series of tests. Finally Janet pronounced she could find nothing wrong with him.
"I told you." Daniel muttered but ducked hastily out before she could change her mind about releasing him.
He had barely made it to the sanctuary of his office when the others showed up. Jack, Sam and Teal'c cleared off his spare chair and the couch and arranged themselves on them with an air of settling in. Daniel stood by the bookcase, a finger keeping his place in the mythology of Babylon he'd just opened. "Did someone call a meeting in my office?" he asked, pushing his glasses up his nose and regarding them perplexedly.
"Naw." Jack was looking at him with the slight air of nonchalance that was usually a cover for some kind of ulterior motive. "We were just thinking since you've been cleared to leave the base, we should go do something as a team."
"Like what?" Daniel was looking for the catch. They did often eat together, and he'd spent time with all of his teammates individually off the base, but he wasn't sure what Jack had in mind. Besides, now that his headache was finally clearing, he needed to get back to work.
Sam sounded apologetic. "Uh, like maybe helping put all the stuff back in your apartment."
"Oh." Rats, Daniel had nearly forgotten about that. He looked at them apprehensively. "So just how much um, packing did you do?"
"Oh, some." Jack said.
#
Actually, they'd barely started, Daniel realized gratefully, as he returned the items in the handful of boxes to their places, while Teal'c helped Sam get out plates for the Chinese food she'd brought, and Jack got underfoot. Daniel carefully removed the breakable vase he was fiddling with and handed him a stone paperweight instead. Jack watched him, juggling it from hand to hand, as he quickly put his things back in order. "What did you want me to do with this?" he finally asked.
"Nothing." Daniel said. "It's just a lot less fragile than the other stuff you were playing with."
Jack gave him a mildly offended look and put it down. "Food's here," Sam called.
Daniel ate a great deal more Chinese food than was probably necessary and rather enjoyed the unusual sight of his teammates lounging comfortably around his living room. The contrast between this cheerful booklined room filled with friends and Nem's dim and lonely underwater hideaway couldn't be greater. He was glad he'd gotten back when he had. He liked this apartment, and it would have been a pain to have to find another. He regarded his teammates curiously. They'd stuck to him like burrs all afternoon, even Teal'c watching him constantly. Finally he said, "Okay, I give up. What's going on?"
"Huh?" Jack gave him a puzzled look.
"Come on, Jack." Daniel returned puzzled with impatient. "You guys have been acting weird all day."
"No we haven't." Jack protested.
"Yes you have." Daniel returned. "You're uh, hovering." He looked at the variously mulish, guilty and impenetrable countenances of his friends.
Sam was the one who broke the silence. "It's been a bad week, Daniel. Between thinking you were dead, and getting these constant flashbacks of you burning to death horribly--" She shuddered.
"Oh." Burning. He hadn't actually even wondered what the implanted memories were of. "I'm sorry. I guess those false memories were more unpleasant than I realized."
"Unpleasant doesn't begin to cover it." Jack said feelingly. "I wasn't joking about the sushi."
Daniel hesitated, then asked. "Um, are you still getting flashbacks?"
There was a moment of silence. Teal'c said, "They have become less frequent and less severe, now that we recognize them for what they are."
"Ah." Daniel looked at the clock. He wasn't actually sleepy himself after the hours of rest he'd had, but it was getting fairly late. The others looked likely to drop on their feet. He remembered Janet saying they'd stayed in the infirmary for over a day until he awakened. He winced. The flashbacks must have been pretty horrific if they'd stood around that long watching him sleep, just to reassure themselves they weren't real.
"Well, it's getting pretty late, and we all have work tomorrow." Daniel hinted gently. "So unless you're planning to stay the night-"
"Thanks." Jack said cheerfully. "It is pretty late. I'll take you up on that." Sam avoided his eyes, but also murmured a thank you, while Teal'c nodded graciously.
Daniel blinked. He hadn't actually meant that as an invitation. Not that he was going to turf his friends out in their condition. Sam staked out a reclining chair, and Jack claimed the couch. Teal'c settled gracefully on the floor in his familiar meditation posture. Well, they did look tired. He fetched sheets and blankets and left them to make themselves at home while he retreated to his bedroom with a couple of books.
#
Ironically, Daniel got medical clearance to go offworld three full days before his teammates did. They were apparently still having the occasional flashback from Nem's memory machine. Daniel only saw it happen once. Jack was staring behind him in the commissary and then went pasty white. Daniel glanced back, seeing only an airman carrying a glass of ginger ale to his table. "Jack?" he asked.
Jack took a long five seconds to respond, then turned and stared at Daniel, grabbing his shoulders in a bruising grip.
"Jack? What's wrong?" Daniel wrapped one hand lightly around Jack's forearm, and after a moment his grip loosened and fell away.
Jack sat down abruptly. "I'm okay."
"Are you sure?" Daniel was rather alarmed. "Maybe you should go to the infirmary."
"No." Jack said. "Fraiser can't do anything about fish-guy's home movies. We just have to wait for it to wear off."
It had taken another two days before his teammates could face a column of bubbles without flinching. And Daniel was still noticing them tending to avoid soft drinks when Dr. Fraiser cleared them. Not to mention that all three of them stopped by his office way more often than usual. By the time they were all cleared, Daniel was more than ready for a mission. After being out of action for the better part of ten days, there were several planets waiting to be visited, and Daniel was hoping that going offworld would help his teammates shake off their odd mood.
They had barely started the mission briefing when the general received a phone call. He listened for a moment, then said, "You had better escort her down."
"What is it, sir?" Jack asked him.
"Catherine Langford." Hammond said. "She wants to see us." He looked at his second in command.
Jack shook his head. "I tried to call her when Daniel was- uh, missing but couldn't reach her. She was out of town."
The elevators must have been running fast because it was only minutes before she was there, the airman trailing behind the elderly woman. They all rose to greet her. "General, I want to know-" her gaze took in the rest of the room, and an expression of astonishment and relief crossed her face. She glared at Hammond. "Is this some kind of joke? I had a message from you that Daniel was dead."
Daniel blinked. "Oops." He glanced at Hammond, "You called Catherine, sir?"
"When Colonel O'Neill couldn't reach her, I sent a message," the General said. "I guess the follow-up message telling you he was actually alive didn't catch up with you. I do apologize."
"What happened?" Catherine demanded.
"It was all a mistake," Daniel said. "I wasn't actually hurt at all."
Jack raised an eyebrow at the slight exaggeration and glanced at the general for a nod of permission before going on. "He was grabbed by an alien that implanted memories of him dying in Carter, Teal'c and I." Jack said. "Who then tortured him for information on some alien visitor to Earth four thousand years ago. Not a fun week for anyone, really."
"Tortured?" Catherine looked at Daniel critically, as if trying to spot bruises or abrasions.
"That's a gross exaggeration." Daniel said, kicking Jack gently in the shin behind the table. "If terrible food constitues torture, I have a bone to pick with the Air Force." Catherine smiled, and he turned to Jack. "Anyway, you guys had the worst of it. Flashbacks, splitting headaches, and-" Daniel let his tone drop to a dramatic whisper and told Catherine. "The general had them clean out my apartment."
That made everyone laugh. Jack said, "Okay, Daniel. But the fact is, your track record isn't so hot lately. Since the start of this program you've been reported dead twice and actually killed twice. Let's not go for third time lucky."
"I'm not planning on it." Daniel assured him sincerely. "Besides-" he glanced at Hammond, "I don't think the general's going to take your word for it anymore, Jack. They're going to want a body before they declare me dead a third time."
"Dr. Jackson makes an excellent point," the general said drily.
Catherine looked from Jack to Daniel with a curious expression. "Actually killed twice? I don't think I heard that story."
Jack said, "I'm sure Daniel would be delighted to tell you all about it some time. Though if you want the whole story, you'd better invite the rest of us to keep him honest."
Daniel ignored this malicious and unwarranted imprecation about his truthfulness and went to hug Catherine. She hugged him back with surprising strength and said, "You be careful out there."
Daniel smiled at her, touched by her concern. "I will, I promise."
#
After Catherine had taken her leave, they finished the briefing. Daniel went back to his office before gearing up. It looked like another routine mission with no signs of life near the gate. 'But then, so had Oannes..'
Daniel glanced at his new watch and saw he had time to look at one more email before he had to leave. Huh. He skimmed the mail in surprise, then read it more carefully. Unlike most of his mail, this one had originated from outside the SGC.
It asked if he would do a consultation on a mysterious artifact found in Mexico, covered with what were possibly Egyptian symbols. The accompanying photo showed a sample of what was definitely Goa'uld writing. He quickly typed a noncommittal reply indicating he'd be interested in seeing it, along with any information they could give him about where and how it had been found. Then he glanced at the clock, realizing with mild dismay he was once again several minutes past the time he should have left. He grabbed the new journal he was taking with him and rushed for the door.
The sergeant in the gear-up room had his pack ready as always. He ripped it open hurriedly and stuffed the journal in. "Has the rest of SG-1 already gone to the gate room?" he asked hopefully.
"Yes, sir," the older man said. "Dr. Jackson?"
"Yes?" Daniel raised his eyebrows and looked at the man inquisitively, his hands automatically refastening the flap on his pack.
"Glad you made it back, sir," Collins was a dour silent man, meticulous in the execution of his duties. Daniel wasn't sure he'd ever heard him say anything unrelated to work before. It was the latest in a surprising number of 'welcome-home's he had received.
He shook off his surprise to reply , "Uh, thank you, sergeant. It's good to be here." He grabbed his pack, and headed for the gateroom.
Daniel arrived at the gate shaking his head. "Has everyone in this place gone nuts, or is it just me?" he asked.
"You were always nuts." Jack told him helpfully.
Sam laughed. "What's wrong, Daniel?"
"Not wrong exactly, just weird. Everyone has been so- so- friendly, this week." He looked down, straightening the holster strap that always got twisted. "Even the marines have been pleasant. It's unnatural. It's like, like-" he groped for a simile.
"Like you came back from the dead?" Jack said, with a certain gentle irony.
Daniel's head bobbed up as he tried to meet Jack's gaze, but the colonel had turned to check the ropes on the FRED.
"SG-1, are you ready to go?" the general's voice came impatiently from the control room. At Jack's affirmative, the inner gate ring began to spin.
#
The time differential on this world meant they'd only had a couple of hours to look around before they had to make camp. After dinner, he sat on one of the logs they'd dragged up to provide seating beside the fire, writing in his journal. It was good to be back in the field, Daniel thought, even if the world had nothing very interesting in the way of sights. His teammates' behavior was still a bit off kilter. Daniel was hoping that going offworld would give them something to focus on. He closed his journal and stuffed it back in his pack and then walked purposefully toward the edge of the clearing.
"Daniel!" Jack said.
"I'm just going around the bush," he replied, their usual euphemism for using the crude latrine they'd dug outside the camp.
Jack, Sam and Teal'c exchanged glances and Teal'c got up. "I will accompany you, DanielJackson."
Daniel stopped dead and stared from one to the other. "Do you guys know something I don't?" he asked.
Jack was wearing one of his blank, confused expressions. Daniel was reminded yet again of why he should never play poker with Jack.
Daniel gave him an exasperated look. "This world is uninhabited as far as we can tell. We don't usually use the buddy system for taking a leak unless there's something to warrant it." He looked at them. "Well?"
Jack said, "There's no special reason. We're just being careful."
"Right. Careful." Daniel tried not to let his irritation get out of control. "Look, Jack. I know I'm not always as alert to what's going on as the rest of you. But Nem grabbed all four of us, and I didn't see you or Sam or Teal'c fighting him off any better than I did. What exactly is it you think I did wrong? What should I have done?"
Jack hesitated. Sam said, "Nothing, Daniel. You didn't do anything wrong."
Daniel was sure that there was an unspoken tag to that. 'This time. ' And he hadn't missed that Jack hadn't answered him. He turned around and came back to the fire and sat down. "Then what exactly is the problem?"
"What do you mean?" Jack asked innocently. At some point Daniel was going to have to tell him his acting skills were wasted with Sam looking guilty across the fire.
"I mean, for the last several days, you guys have been following me around, staring at me, and generally pestering the living crap out of me." Daniel said impatiently. "I'm starting to wonder if I've grown a second head without noticing. If this is still about the flashbacks from Nem's little light show, then frankly, I don't think any of you should be out here."
Sam broke the silence. "We're not still having flashbacks, at least when we're awake."
Jack gave Sam a dark look, as if the implication they were still dreaming about Daniel's 'death' was something she should have kept a secret.
After a short pause, Daniel said. "Okay. That's good to know. So what are you still having?"
Teal'c inclined his head gravely. "I believe we are all still suffering from the conflicting feelings that arose from the brainwashing."
"I think Teal'c's right." Sam said, looking slightly relieved, as if he'd just pinpointed something she'd been trying to figure out herself. "Part of our brains are still insisting you are dead, while we really know that you're alive. But the feelings don't go away just because we know they aren't real."
"Ah. Well, unless one of you plans to shoot me to resolve the cognitive dissonance," Daniel said, "I think you're just going to have to get used to me being alive."
"We'd like to get used to that, Daniel." Jack said dryly. "But having you disappearing and getting injured every time we turn around makes it a little hard to get complacent."
That was a little unfair, Daniel thought, since before Oannes, he had only disappeared once, in the Land of Light. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Um, so you do think there's something I could have done to prevent what happened on Oannes, then?"
"Not agreeing to let fish-man scramble your brains would have been a good start." Jack said sourly.
Daniel was slightly heartened his other two teammates were giving Jack a rather startled look. "Well, what would you have done?"
"We were on our way back for you. You could have waited for rescue. Tried to escape." Jack suggested. His tone was angry.
Daniel glared back at him. "I did try to escape. It didn't work. I tried negociating. It didn't work. I did wait for rescue. I waited four days. Damn it, Jack, he told me you all thought I was dead. The part where nobody was banging on the door looking for me seemed to confirm it. What was I supposed to do? Stay there until I mildewed?" Which wouldn't have taken all that long given the humidity. "I gave Nem his answer; I got out of jail free. It all worked out fine."
"You gave Nem his answer." Jack said. "Suppose you hadn't. You might still be in that chair, with your brains dribbling out your ears."
Daniel blinked. "Um. He'd have stopped. He didn't want to hurt me."
"You can't know that."
Daniel shook his head. "What are you angry about, anyway?"
Jack said, "Misplacing a civilian didn't look good on my record. Again."
Daniel gave him an incredulous look and said, "Oh, we can't have that," just as Sam and Teal'c said "Sir!" and "O'Neill" in protest. "Anyway," Daniel added. "Reporting me dead the first time was your idea. You could have just stalled long enough to let us bury the gate."
Teal'c said, "The memory device has amplified the natural feelings of grief and loss over your supposed death. The ..cognitive dissonance.. of your still being alive makes us nervous and irritable. Observing you helps to remind us which memories are real, as well as assuaging our natural concern for your well-being. The effect is already beginning to fade, and I expect it will continue to diminish over time."
Daniel was staring at the Jaffa. "I see. Thank you." '- feelings of grief and loss-' He felt a little badly about giving them grief-- in any sense of the word-- but this had to stop. His teammates in general and Jack in particular tended to overprotectiveness-- something he found frequently irritating and occasionally comforting. But the team couldn't continue to function with his teammates as tense as they were now. He got up and walked out of the clearing.
"Daniel!" Jack shouted.
"In a minute, Jack." Daniel replied from behind the thick brush. He reappeared several moments later and looked at his three teammates. "See? I was out of your sight for thirty seconds and nothing awful happened." They all glared at him. "Look. I'm really sorry Nem implanted those memories. You've all had a miserable time. But following me around like a flock of broody hens isn't the answer." He looked at them with equal measures exasperation and affection. "Look, pretty soon this will wear off, and you'll all go back to thinking I'm just the pain in the ass civilian. Can't you, um, try to relax?"
Teal'c nodded, and the colonel looked annoyed. Sam looked at him apologetically. "We'll try," she told him.
#
//"What fate Omoroca?" Nem demanded.
Daniel huddled against the wall, as the alien raised his hand device. "Look, um, I can't...I can't tell you what I don't know." His team thought he was dead, they weren't coming for him. He was alone.
Nem looked back at him. The reptilian face was unreadable, but his tone was unmistakeably angry and threatening. "You will, or you will die."//
"I don't know!" Daniel yelled desperately. "I don't remember. Please let me go... please." There was a hand on his shoulder holding him down. He struck out at it again and again..
"Ow! Daniel, wake up!"
His hands brushed nylon. Tent. Offworld. Jack. Daniel went limp with relief, breathing hard, realizing he was sweating, and his heart was racing.
"Daniel?" Jack sounded worried and turned on a flashlight.
He flinched and threw up an arm to shield his eyes. "J-just a dream. Sorry I woke you."
Jack turned off the light and lay back down. "Want to talk about it?" His voice was quiet in the darkness.
Daniel didn't reply, just closed his eyes and lay still. He didn't want to talk about it. He also didn't want to sleep any more. He lay wakeful, waiting for his watch so he could get up. Time passed, and he could tell from Jack's breathing he hadn't gone back to sleep either. Finally he said, "I was scared." 'Alone, afraid, abandoned. I didn't expect anyone to come back for me.'
Jack said, "On Oannes?"
Daniel swallowed, "Yeah. He didn't want to let me go. I talked and talked." 'And begged and yelled and pleaded-'
"Another day and I'm sure he would have paid us to take you back," Jack said.
Daniel knew that was intended to be humorous, maybe even complimentary to his skills at persuasion, but it struck a little too close to his own irrational fear no one at the SGC would have especially cared if he got back or not. What was he supposed to say to that? 'He threatened to kill me if I didn't tell him what he wanted to know.' Or maybe, 'I was worried sick about you guys until he finally told me you were gone. And even then I wasn't really sure you were alive until I saw you standing on that beach.'
"Daniel?" Jack said after a moment, his voice encouraging. "Go on."
Daniel shrugged, the movement making his sleeping bag rustle. "That was it."
He was still awake when Teal'c came to alert him for his watch. Jack had dropped off finally and thrashed through uneasy dreams, but nothing so strong Daniel felt he should wake him. He built up the fire as the sun rose and put coffee on.
Sam scrambled out earlier than was her wont, taking a couple of quick steps toward the fire until she could see him clearly. "Morning," he said and handed her some coffee. She took the cup and touched his shoulder briefly before moving around to sit down. In the pale morning light, the pangs of self-pity he'd felt in the wake of his nightmare seemed childish and a little silly. It might not be home, exactly, but the warm reception he'd gotten on his return had made him feel more accepted among his military co-workers than he ever had before.
#
Late on the second day, they found people. There had been no sign of any human population near the stargate, no ruins, no artifacts. The MALP hadn't detected anything to suggest intelligent life here. But there they were, two men in a field, with an enormous beast.
"Look!" Daniel said in excitement. "I think it's an aurochs."
Jack said. "It's an animal, Daniel, not a rock."
Daniel said. "Aurochs, aurochsen in the plural. They're extinct on earth. Most of them were gone by the ninth or tenth century, though a few survived into the fifteenth. Kind of an ancient ox. We think modern cattle are descended from them."
"At least it's not a mastage," Jack said. "Just don't feed it, okay?"
Daniel gave him an annoyed look. "Shall we go say hello?"
Despite the somewhat European appearance of the farmers, they spoke a version of the same Egyptian dialect that was common to humans on Goa'uld worlds everywhere. All four of them could understand it easily, though there was an occasional word Daniel thought betrayed a connection to an early Germanic dialect.
After Daniel performed the introductions, they waited for the men to finish their work and walked slowly back to the small cluster of farmhouses with them, several others joining them as they went. They learned there were a few small villages scattered about, but the area around the stargate was indifferent farmland. There were more towns to the north, where a broad river valley provided richer soil.
Daniel made notes on every detail of their dress and equipment, keeping only the bare minimum of attention on the path while he wrote. "What's so interesting?" Jack asked, a little impatient with the slow pace.
"Well, lots of things," Daniel said absently, chewing on the end of his pen. He glanced at Jack to determine whether he was actually interested in the question or just bored. The colonel didn't try to change the subject, so Daniel went on, "The animal harnesses for example. See how they go around the animal's necks?"
Jack glanced back and nodded, "Yeah, what about them?"
"Well, it's not an efficient way to harness an animal. It cuts off their air. A harness that put the weight on the animal's chest instead would let them pull a lot more weight with less effort. It was an advance that greatly increased the available food supply on earth. And it helps me date when these people might have been brought here, since--" Daniel broke off as Jack's attention wandered. "Jack, you okay?"
"Fine." Jack walked ahead to speak to the first man in line, and Daniel wondered in exasperation if the uncharacteristic question had been some kind of offhand apology for his temper the night before. If so, Jack's attention span was a little too short to make it plausible.
"Danell-" Johan said. He was the farmer leading the aurochs behind Daniel.
The archeologist fell back a couple of steps to walk with him. "Yes?"
"You said something about a better harness?"
"Yes," Daniel turned his attention to the native and tried to describe what he meant, his hands sketching it in the air. When they arrived at the cluster of well kept buildings, he had to resort to paper and pen, which impressed the farmer nearly as much as the neat drawing of a chest harness he presented them. Across the room, Jack was surrounded by a half a dozen young children, who were curiously inspecting his equipment and firing questions at him.
Daniel turned to Sam, "Well, Jack seems to have found some fans."
She smiled, "A couple of them were stalking us on the walk in. Teal'c and the colonel had a quiet word with the locals and made sure this was all just a game before we were ambushed."
"Ambushed?" Daniel frowned, "Isn't that just a little paranoid? They're kids."
Sam laughed. "Ambushing their fathers on the way home seems to be a well-established sport here. Surely you heard the giggling? The colonel pretended to be very surprised, and Teal'c thought he had lost his mind."
So that was why Jack's attention had suddenly wandered. Daniel regretted his uncharitable thoughts about his team leader. He was also a little embarrassed to admit he'd been too involved in conversation to even notice the horseplay, though he had found out no Goa'uld or Jaffa had been seen here in several generations.
They were invited to a dinner of boiled meat and cabbage, flavored with herbs. Jack and Sam examined it suspiciously before eating with fair grace if little enjoyment. Teal'c swallowed his portion without comment, his expression unrevealing. Daniel found it bland, but still more attractive than MREs, if only for novelty. Though he was grateful he wasn't forced to rely on a steady diet of it.
Eating had never before stopped Daniel from asking questions, and this was no exception. His hosts took it in turn to recite for him stories of their history. Afterward, Sam brought out a handful of miniature chocolate bars and handed them around. Daniel was positive that sooner or later they were going to find a planet that would offer to trade them anything they wanted in return for chocolate. It was always popular. And Daniel repaid their patience in telling him their myths and legends by recounting a story from Earth's mythology. They listened raptly to the new tale.
"We should keep you through the winter. There are never enough tales or talespinners to divert us during the cold season," their hostess Salea remarked appreciatively.
Daniel was flattered by her compliment. It was a total surprise when his teammates put their hands on their weapons. "You can't have him." Jack said in a flat tone.
The woman looked at him a bit nervously. "I ask forgiveness if I have offended. I was simply joking."
Daniel switched into English, and laid a hand on his arm. "Jack, she just liked the story. She's not serious."
He replied in the same language. "I don't care if she's serious or not. They don't get to keep you." Daniel gave Jack a rather concerned look. The statement had not been accompanied by any humor whatsoever. And Sam and Teal'c looked just as wound up as Jack did.
Daniel managed to defuse the tension but was relieved when they returned to their campsite for the night. After he built up the fire, Daniel sat back on his heels and asked. "So. What was that?"
"What?" Jack asked.
"I think you need to talk to Dr. Fraiser when we get back." Daniel said.
"What?!" Jack repeated.
"You guys just about went off the deep end at a joke." Daniel said. "There's something wrong. I think you're still being affected by Nem's machine."
Jack rose and brushed past him. "I'm going to check the perimeter."
Sam and Teal'c looked after him, then Sam said, "Daniel. Try to understand. We're just still -uh, a little jittery. We don't want to lose you again."
"What, like luggage?" Daniel sighed, and moved to sit on the log. "You know, I was finally starting to feel like Jack trusted me to do my part for the team. Now I'm back to being deadweight."
"Oh, no." Sam protested. "Daniel, he's just worried."
"Yeah, worried I'll screw up and get us all killed. I got that." Daniel said.
Teal'c said calmly, "That is untrue, DanielJackson. You have the courage of a warrior but not the training. We worry you will eat more than you can hold."
That got a faint smile from Daniel. "Bite off more than you can chew, Teal'c." He sighed. "Jack thinks I was wrong to let Nem use the memory machine on me."
"Since Nem easily overpowered all four of us," Teal'c said, "I do not see how you could have prevented him."
"I did sort of talk him into it." Daniel admitted. "He was prepared to sit around for a few years waiting for me to remember on my own."
Sam laid a hand on his arm. "You know, if you hadn't gotten out just then, we'd have had a heck of a time finding you. We had no idea the lab was underwater. We just wish you'd been spared that awful machine."
"I understand those false memories hurt a lot." Daniel said. "Janet told me they were painful."
"The flashbacks didn't give us a headache exactly." Sam said. "We'd see you burning in the fire and know you were dead-- but also knew, just knew, you weren't. It was driving us crazy. And so we'd think of going back to find out what really happened, and then we'd get the shooting pains in the head."
Daniel gave her a wry smile, "Guess it's not much of a tradeoff for losing a pain in the butt."
Sam gave him a hurt look. "We missed you." When he didn't say anything, she said, "A lot."
"Indeed." Teal'c said.
"Um, thanks." Daniel replied awkwardly. "I was worried about you guys too."
"Why? You said that Nem told you about the false memories," she pointed out.
"He might have been lying." Daniel said. "When I woke up, you were all gone. There was no way for me to know." He sighed and looked away. "I'm glad you guys came back." His tone betrayed more of the uncertainty and fear he had felt than he intended.
Sam turned to throw her arms around Daniel in a tight hug. "Daniel, we're glad to have you back, okay? Losing you was awful. I don't think I've cried so much since my mother died." Her hair was soft against his cheek, and he could hear the tiny catch in her voice.
She showed no signs of letting go, and Daniel put his arms around her and hugged her back gently. 'Sam cried? For me?' "I'm sorry," he said helplessly.
She tightened her grasp. "And it had nothing to do with the damned flashbacks. You're more like a brother than a coworker. Family, okay?" She let him go enough to see his face.
"Okay." Daniel said. They were both blinking a little mistily.
"I too was most distressed to lose you," Teal'c said quietly. "I value your friendship."
Daniel smiled at him over Sam's shoulder. "And I value yours, Teal'c. Thank you."
Sam sat back on the log and looked toward the fire, laughing a little shakily. "Well. That wasn't very military."
"I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as a sister, Sam." Daniel told her sincerely.
"That's good." Jack said behind him. "The Air Force has rules about hugging captains like that."
Daniel gave him an irritated look, wondering when he'd come back, and how much of that he'd heard. The sense of well-being Sam and Teal'c's words had given him started to dissipate like mist.
Jack came up and put a hand on Daniel's shoulder. "This is probably the part where I ought to admit Carter is right. We all are jittery. And say something profound about families and being glad to have you back even if you are a pain in the butt."
"Ah." Daniel guessed Jack had pretty much heard the entire conversation.
"But that would be sappy, and we all know Air Force colonels don't do sappy." Jack said. The warmth of his hand on Daniel's shoulder conveyed all the things Jack would only rarely admit aloud. Daniel suddenly remembered him on Cimmeria, telling Teal'c he was part of their family. It shouldn't come as such a shock Jack thought of him that way too.
"Right." Daniel said, struggling to keep a neutral expression. He'd told himself more than once it was stupid to get overly attached to his teammates. That despite their odd rapport, Jack had spent only four days on Abydos, and it was silly to think of him as a member of Daniel's own family, as if the affection Jack had for Skaara somehow extended to him as well.
"But, uh, you know--" Jack was looking at him with a rather anxious half-smile and an expression Daniel would definitely have called sappy, if everyone didn't know that Air Force colonels didn't do sappy.
Daniel had always been obsessively self-reliant. He'd walked away from Earth and everyone he had ever known without a single backward glance. Lately, he'd been embarrassed and a little dismayed at how much he'd come to depend on Jack O'Neill. He'd never really believed Jack felt the same kinship and affection for him. It was astounding and humbling to finally understand how much his escapade with Nem had shaken Jack. That all his teammates- his friends- had grieved at his 'death' and were happy to have him back in their lives.
"I know." Daniel said, returning a small, rather silly smile and blinked hard. It was probably a good thing colonels were so stoic and reserved. And everyone knew archeologists didn't just start crying around the campfire. Daniel twisted around and dug through his pack for a kleenex and blew his nose. "Pollen," he said unconvincingly, throwing the used tissue on the fire. Nobody mentioned it was autumn here. He cleared his throat. "So. Does this mean you're not upset at the way I handled Nem after all?"
Jack nudged him to move over and sat beside him on the log, shoulder to shoulder. "Any of that coffee left?" he asked. Sam poured him some and Jack took the cup before answering Daniel's question. "Since, as it turned out, he didn't scramble your brains any more than they already were, no. It was mostly just it was a terrible anticlimax to rush back and find you'd already rescued yourself."
"Ah." Daniel said. He supposed that made a weird sort of sense. He'd found it kind of satisfying to know he would have made it back on his own, even if his team hadn't come back. Though he would have been just as happy to have forgone the sense of closure if it had meant Jack had showed up and rescued him the first day.
"Not that I'm complaining," Jack said.
"Of course not," Daniel replied. "If it makes you feel any better, you certainly saved me an annoying and potentially dangerous day or two gating around looking for someone with a GDO." He wasn't sure what had happened to any of his equipment, though possibly Nem still had it and would have given it back. He felt Jack's soft chuckle as much as heard it.
Sam had been groping through her own pack. "Anyone for chocolate?" she asked brightly, pulling out the remaining half-bag of miniature candy bars.
"Do you have any that are crispy?" Teal'c asked.
"Not special dark, Teal'c?" Jack asked, tossing him a couple.
"They are too bitter, O'Neill." Teal'c said. "Besides, I have observed DanielJackson prefers the 'special dark' chocolate. He passed the dark chocolate bars back to Daniel, who took them eagerly.
Jack snitched one back. "Hey!" Daniel protested. "That's no way for an officer to behave."
"I was demonstrating a superior tactical maneuver." Jack claimed.
Sam chuckled and tossed them each a couple more of the small bars. "There's plenty."
"But it tastes better when I steal it." Jack protested.
Daniel smiled faintly. This would be so much harder without his friends. He looked up at the sky, the brightest stars visible despite the fire. It had never occurred to him when he reluctantly left his family on Abydos that he'd manage to find another one here. He looked at Sam and Teal'c, washed in firelight, and felt Jack's solid warmth at his shoulder. SG-1 had already lasted as long as any foster family he'd ever lived with before Sha're. Daniel decided perhaps being attached wasn't such a bad thing. He relaxed and let go a little piece of a fear so old he could barely remember not having it. Maybe it would be okay to lean on his friends sometimes. Just a little.
He reached over to grab a couple of the crispy rice-filled bars and pass them to Teal'c, taking advantage of the motion to capture Jack's dark chocolate for himself. He deftly stripped the paper and stuffed it in his mouth before Jack could retrieve it. "Mine now." He mumbled with his mouth full.
"Very sneaky, Dr. Jackson." Jack said. "I think you just volunteered to fill in the latrine pit before we leave."
"It's Teal'c's turn," Daniel said, savoring the taste. "Besides, you like milk chocolate better anyway."
"As do I." Teal'c said. "But I will share it with you, O'Neill, if you assign DanielJackson or CaptainCarter to fill in the latrine pit."
"Shol'va!" Sam protested. "I'm the one who brought the chocolate to begin with."
"Your point is just, CaptainCarter," the Jaffa said.
"Oh, I see." Daniel said in a hurt tone. "You missed my latrine shoveling abilities."
"Daniel-" Jack started seriously, then saw Daniel's amused expression in the firelight. The colonel elbowed him in the ribs hard enough to make him squeak and nearly fall off the log. "I just don't see why I should have to put up with training some new guy, when we've already got you all broken in."
" Like a horse, or like a pair of boots?" Daniel asked interestedly.
"A mule, more likely." Jack said. A ripple of laughter went around the campfire.
Daniel found it ironic he had to be sitting beside a fire thousands of lightyears from Earth or Abydos to find out that he had a home. SG-1 was a pretty unlikely little family. But when had there ever been anything ordinary about Daniel's life? It would do for now. It would do just fine.
*end