PRIMITIVE STONE AGE GUYS
(Jonathan Turner, Robin Holly, Paul Estin)
to the tune of "Sensitive New Age Guys" by Christine Lavin, from "Attainable Love" album

Who likes to talk with lots of grunting? [gruntingly] Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who's into fishing?  Into hunting?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who sits around dressed like they've been boxin'?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who are hard to tell from oxen?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!

Who like to belch at weddings?  Who like sports involving sweating?
Who tape pro wrestling on their VCRs?
Who's got "Insured by Smith and Wesson" on their cars?
Unh-unh unh-unh.  Unh-unh unh-unh-unh.

Whose first names are "Billy Earl Joe Bob"?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who likes movies with machine guns, violence and the mob?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Whose consciousness is lost by drinkin'?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who calls you a wimp if he sees ya thinkin'?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!

Who thinks vegetables are suspicious?  Who eats sloppy joes without any dishes?
Who thinks "looked at me funny" is reason for a brawl?
Who doesn't know who plays in Sym-pho-ny Hall?
Unh-unh unh-unh...
(Hey, guys, do you know who plays in Symphony Hall?)
(Uh... the Steelers?)
(Good answer!)

Who likes music that's... karaoke?  Primitive Stone Age Guys!
[Hold up card with the words "Who likes music that's karaoke?" while music/humming continues]
Primitive Stone Age Guys!
Who's heard rumors of her orgasm? [Guys look at each other in silence, puzzled.]
Who goes to sleep the moment he has 'em?  [enthusiastically]  Primitive Stone Age Guys!

Who thinks "dining out" means Denny's?  Who knows he has kids, but not how man-y?
Who always sings on sing-alongs even when they--
[Sudden realization:] (Hey!  We're Stone Age Guys!  We don't do sing-alongs!) [Stomp away]

Primitive Stone Age Guy-y-ys!