Before I get started, let me apologize for letting this go too long. Hell, this column’s been sitting on my desk for a month. I’ve been busy. Sue me. It’s not like you pay me to read this. Sheesh. Now back to our regularly-scheduled program.
Over the weekend of 14th - 15th September I attended the funeral of the mother of my namesake, my Great Aunt Hazel Preston. She passed quickly, which is a blessing. Especially considering the hospital to which she was taken after falling ill.
My Uncle Race told me the story of how the ambulance people told them not to bother to go to the hospital, as the people there were callous and uncaring, almost to the point of being inhuman. They went anyway, and it was a nightmare. I don’t even want to get started on it. The point is that, in truth, Aunt Hazel would have been better off if she hadn’t gone to the hospital: She could have died at home, in peace.
So I got to thinking about health care, or the lack thereof, and the attitudes of doctors and nurses and even the freaking receptionist. Bill and Hillary can gush about their reform plans, but there is only really one solution to the health-care crisis: Break the back of the health care market by taking the money out of it (Remarkably similar to the only solution to the drug problem as well, but I digress). Knock down the 1,000 bed hospitals and put a doctor on every block. You can then build a smaller building to house the MRI and other equipment that needs to be centralized. That’s it though. No ICU; no birthing center; no anything. Put the doctors back into the communities, where they belong.
Understand, even under this scheme doctors will make more money than most of them probably deserve. Just like funeral directors. The reason: Everyone gets sick, and everyone dies. It’s a built in, recession-proof market.
My Aunt’s hairdresser came to the funeral. She had seen Aunt Hazel every week for the past 15 years. Now, has Aunt Hazel’s doctor seen her every week for 15 years? Of course not, they have him treating more patients than he can remember, let alone see even as often as once a month.
I just saw The Usual Suspects over the weekend. In the movie one of the characters comments, "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn’t exist." I would amend that to read, "The greatest trick doctors ever pulled was convincing the world that they are special."
Today, most doctors barely even qualify for the title. Medicine has been broken down into so many specialties and sub-specialties that much of the training winds up being the medical equivalent of vo-tech school. The best part is that every specialist also wants to start from scratch. Talk about a scam. As if the X-rays taken by one doctor are somehow inferior to the identical set of X-rays taken by another.
What happened to the idea of a physician? Are there no more
healers in the world? Heal the sick, comfort the dying; just like it says in
the oath. Don’t
make the entire thing about money.
Some of these things may sound a little radical; That's because they are radical. They aren't my ideas though. The foundation of my final solution for health care has it's roots in the ideas of a liberal, long-haired radical: Jesus Christ.
In short, the Final Solution can be summed up in one word: Compassion.
Rickwood Out
(With aplogies to Brock Meeks)