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Society of the Bewildered GAZETTE All the Bewilderedness that's Fit to Print |
Society Endorses Candidates
"They're all SOB's" says Committee
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After a careful review by the Society of the Bewildered Election Committee, it was determined that all candidates are absolute SOB's! No doubt about it, they are totally BEWILDERED,. and all are now officially inducted as auxilary members of the Society.
"Our problem was not in finding a candidate who was SOB, but in trying to determine which one was the biggest SOB," said Society Political Committee Chairwizard, Wizard,fkap. Look at their qualifications, sez the Wiz....
- Bill Clinton, now named Bubby, was involved in a million dollar land deal and now can't remember anyhting about it.
Bob Dole, now named Booby, can't figure out that he should abdicate and turn the candidacy over to his wife.
Ross Perot, who we affectionately call Rooty, can't even remember to go out and campaign.
Harry Browne, the Libertarian Candidate, now has the Society name of Tooty. He is so bewildered he wants to move Society back to about the time of the Spanish American War. Perhaps that idea has some merit.
Bewildered Site of the Unspecified Time Period
Morning Coffee
For those of you who sign on every morning to get the latest news and gossip we offer this "Site of the Unspecified Time Period." Updated in even more irregular periods the THE SOCIETY GAZETTE, Morning Coffee is always good for a laugh or a smile to start your day. And - you can submit your "true stories" to the collection.
Even in the morning, even before coffee, the problem to all solutions can be found on the internet.
Register to Receive E-MailKeep UP With the SocietyAnd Keep the Robots Happy!We know it gets lonesome without e-mail. Don't you just hate to sign on and have an empty mailbox. We have the solution. Register below and you'll get mail whenever The Society of the Bewildered Home Page has been updated. The NETMINDER SERVICE WEB CRAWLER ROBOTS actually love to read the Society Gazette. The Gazette is just about the only fun these robots get to have. Keep them employed. Register on the form below and the robots will send you notice by e-mail each time this page becomes MORE BEWILDERED.
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THE PURPOSE of the Society of the Bewildered:
"We're Bewildered, we have a purpose, but we can't remember what it was. Since we can't find it, we've substituted 'DUCK DANCING' and the never ending Search for the Perfect Margarita."MEMBERSHIP REQUIREMENTS:
"The only requirements are 1.) having children (or once knowing someone who had children) and b.) willingness to admit to being a member. It hasn't really been established that men can actually be members. Men, it seems, refuse to admit to being bewildered. However, in defiance of all logic, they are quick to admit being members of the BEWILDERED SOCIETY.With these requirements the list of
non-members grows daily."
THINK YOU MEASURE UP?? Join the Society Today
| Here are some OTHER PLACES You can be BEWILDERED! |
THE SOCIETY
the WIZARD, fkap
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The Society of the Bewildered GAZETTE Archives
The May 4, 1996 Issue (Thelma and Louise)The June 14, 1996 Issue (Pink Flamingos)
The June 21, 1996 Issue (The Royal Society)
The July 11, 1996 Issue (Bill Breaks Wind)
The August 13, 1996 Issue (Scientist Solve Duck-Egg Question)
The September 2, 1996 Issue (Special "LUCKY DUCK" Issue)
Send your news or comments to the Wizard, fkap
(c) 1996 Wizard, fkap
- Although it's hard to believe, these Web Pages are Designed and Maintained by the wizardfkap@mindspring.com. If you are interested in a WebPage or Business of your own AND if you want to insure your web page is significantly better than these, then the WIZARD, fkap will be happy to help. Just e-mail for more information. You can help support the Society of the Bewildered by advertising on these pages. It will certainly be a charitable effort on your part as association with the Society can't possibly help your business. Please write us for complete information.