Pavement, as a topic, seems to be one that simply will not die!  Here's the latest missive from the web to you...

Well, at long last I decided to do my Pavement rant.  You can put it on your web page, if you desire, but please make it anonymous, or use my soap opera name.  Here goes....................

PAVEMENT

Petulance, I mean, Pavement, recently played in a small theatre in the town (somewhat sophisticated) where I currently reside.  Although it was several months ago and I have somewhat lost my will to live, let alone write this rant, I know there are people out there RIGHT NOW who want this rant, who are waiting for this rant, and who will wither away and die without this rant.  So I continue...

 As I watched Steven Malkmus make a complete jackass out of himself by acting like a pretentious, prissy frat boy, especially when he wasn't the center of attention, I wished that I was his mother so I could take his pants down, spank his bottom with a wooden spoon, and then put him in a chair in the corner of the room for a loooooooooong time-out!  If the time-out doesn't make Mr. Mau, I mean Malkmus, see the light, then I would suggest adding a U-Haul Wardrobe box to their stage as a permanent part of their act.  Mr. Malkmus could then reside in the box, possibly with the most recent copy of a Miss Manners book, and, with his quivering backside to the audience, relieve us of the burden of watching him act like a dilettante who is just discovering that he has to work for a living and that life isn't fair.  What a joy for the audience to then be able to focus their attention on the other members of this band, especially the talented maraca-man making squirrel noises.  Well, enough about the personalities of the band.  I must say that I did like the songs they played.  Signing off for now ...

the Pauline Kael of rock 'n roll