Hey, It's Got the "F" Word Right in the Title!

What can I say about A Halo Called Fred's CD, "NITMFOI," that hasn't already been said? Uh... just about anything, I guess, since I'm the first one to write a review for it here!

Hailing from that Mecca of musical talent -- the next Seattle, OR; Athens, GA; or Liverpool, UK -- A Halo Called Fred comes screaming out of New Brunswick, NJ, with a kick-ass sound that is both unique and, well... really really unique!

(I know that the Halo will be new to many of you, and since some people hate to try anything new and need to have everything compartmentalized, imagine if you took the sperm from the best They Might Be Giants stuff, an egg from the best of the Violent Femmes, and then gene spliced in some Frank Zappa, and you'd have an inkling of what's in store for you on this CD.)

The disc opens with "Dig," a frolicking romp about friendship, forgiveness and dirt-moving equipment. This melts like butter into "Minuet in 'F'," a song that is at one time both an ode to and a lament about what you really should be doing more of instead of surfing the Net.

"King of Bean" is the next song, and it's hip, it's hot, and it's happening. In fact, I'd wager it could kick the ass of any Barenaked Smash Ladies Mouth song any day of the week! (And nights, too!) Rounding out the first four songs is "Nekkid Hoe-down," which is, as advertised, a naked hoe-down. This song helps to show off the band's variety, since it's a shit kickin', achy-breaky heart racin', Shania Twain bitch-slappin' two-stepper. (Yeeeeee-HA!)

Other songs on the album include such future classic "Before They Were Stars" hits as: "Satan's Lullaby" (a soothing, restful lullaby honoring your lord and master Beelzebub); "The Clown Nose" (cotton candy and paranoia, circus-style, with an obscure comic strip reference); "Zoomzebataba" (a Zappa-esque number of the "Jazz Discharge Party Hats" variety -- and god bless you if you know what that means!); and much, much more!

A Halo Called Fred's lyrics on this disc mix the poetry of Shakespeare, the evocative imagery of D.H. Lawrence, the weird grammar of James Joyce, the eccentricity of J.D. Salenger, the capitalization of e.e. cummings, the pulse-pounding juicy squirming of a letter to Penthouse Forum, and the vocabulary of an episode of "South Park."

And I'd pit A Halo Called Fred's instrumentality up against your Eddie Van Halens, your Spike Joneses and you Motzarts any day!

Now, I'm no fancy "music critic," but I know what I like. I like having hot, passionate, deep, throbbing sex with my girlfriend in a public place (the thrill of getting caught just adds to the excitement), but just slightly less than that, I like this CD by A Halo Called Fred!

If you're a fan of hip, funky, fun and funny music, it is imperative that you add this CD to your collection right away! (Note: "imperative" means, as important as breathing, eating, sleeping, and being "regular.") And if you enjoy Celine Dion, The Backstreet Boys, Brittney Spears, Hanson, Ricky Martin or performers of that ilk, then you really really need this CD, because your musical collection must totally SUCK, and this CD will up your "cool" factor by at least 10 points. That's right -- buy this CD, and you'll get laid at least twice as often! (More than that, if you're not too ugly!) And that, I personally guarantee!

"NITMFOI" by A Halo Called Fred -- it'll annoy your parents, embarrass your girlfriend, and impregnate your dog!