First.Last
When I was 18 years old I studied for a term in Barcelona. My friend and
I had gone to the beach by train that day but it was quite cold and I
wasn't feeling very well and we came home early without having done much
of anything. We sat at the table for a while and then I excused myself
to go lie down on my cot in my room. This was unusual because it was
only early evening or late afternoon. I guess I was ill. At some point
I opened my eyes and was surprised to see that the ceiling was only a few
inches away from my face. It was yellow and cracked and somewhat
unpleasant so I turned my head to the right. I noted that the view out
the window from ceiling height was not much different from my usual view
- same brick wall of the next building. I also realized that my left arm
must be through the ceiling because of the way I had turned to look out
the window. I did not turn my head back again to look because that
seemed very strange and I did not want my face so close to the ceiling.
The next moment I felt myself hurtling through blackness. In some
fashion I perceived that I was going very fast. It was not frightening
but puzzling and interesting. I have subsequently read read others'
references to a tunnel, and indeed it was like that because after a while
I saw a tiny little pinprick of light which grew bigger as if I were fast
approaching a faraway exit. This light was intriguing. I got plopped out
into a very bright warm intense enveloping light. This light was full of
love and joy. I am not one to use terms like love and joy, but that is
the closest I can come to describing it. You do not get that intensity
of feeling in this life, that I know of. Certain intense moments of
being in love are the closest I know about. But they are only close.
Anyway, to my right was someone very awesome, a male. This big love
seemed related to this being. I didn't know who it was but I was very
awestruck. I do not know how long I basked in this love, maybe not that
long, when my attention was diverted to some other beings. Perhaps there
were three or four and either I did not see them clearly or I just cannot
remember. (I couldn't remember right after the experience either).
Anyway they wanted to show me something. Which they did. A big black
screen pulled up and I saw the earth in the way that perhaps astronauts
can see it. That is, the whole planet. The beings were happy and
excited to show me this and I can tell you it was amazing. I knew it was
amazing at the time. I kept thinking at every turn that this was
wonderful and amazing. But I was even more surprised and overwhelmed
with what happened next. I realize that this is hard to believe but it
is true. I saw/felt all the people on the earth. (Actually I don't know
if it was all, but it was millions and millions for sure). I couldn't
believe it yet I knew it was true. In my head I just kept saying that
this was unbelievably fantastic and surprising. Then for more
incrediblness, they 'said' (but it was not talking aloud) that I could
continue to have this connection to everyone and also to help people on
earth with their problems. This seemed to me to be a thrilling prospect
and I wanted to get started right away. But they informed me that I
could not do this and also live my regular life. This did not strike me
as a problem since the existence they offered me was clearly and vastly
superior to my regular life and I was thrilled with the whole thing.
They told me more than once that I would have to choose and I wrenched my
mind back to remember the people who love me and who would have been sad
if I had chosen to take them up on their offer. But it took longer for me
to understand that choosing meant dying. I was suddenly very afraid and
mad at these beings because I felt they had tricked me,the realization of
dying came as such a shock. As soon as I felt afraid I knew I was being
sent back fast. I also felt afraid that the major being (God?) would be
mad at me. And voila, I was lying back in my bed. I knew that what
happened to me was real and I tried to make the experience come back over
the years. It never did, but I have probably not spent a day without
remembering it and I am 37 now. I told my mother when I came home from
Spain and she appeared not to listen. I have told my husband (three
times, actually, because he seems to forget and its like a new story). I
went to a psychiatrist once and told her and she said it sounded like a
drug experince. So It seems I cannot do too much with this information!
It is so enthralling and comforting to me to read other people's
experiences like mine.
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