Henry

Received June 13, 1997

I don't know what to call what I experienced. Henry, my little brother, also my best friend, died of AIDS. I took care of him through the last twelve months of his 33 years of life. We were very close. Henry depended on me to be strong for him as I physically and emotionally took care of him. I loved him dearly and didn't want him to die. I stayed by his bedside for 10 days until he took his last breath. It was extremely painful to lose him. There was too much for me to do to break down. Henry had given me a list of names and phone numbers of friends I had to notify of his passing. I had to call the funeral home and schedule the services, I had to drive to another city to order his tumbstone, etc. etc. I had to drive back and forth to his home where my mother was staying/grieving. On the third day after his death, I went to my home exhausted. I layed in my bed and closed my eye lids. The last thing I say was the radio saying it was 2:34 PM. I immediately found myself standing in a vertical tunnel. It was dark or gray but there was a rush of brillant white fog rushing upward through the tunnel as if it was vaccum. Henry was on the other side of the upward rushing fog. It was not Henry's body, it was a presence. He communicated with me that he wanted to go up the tunnel, but I held him back. I told him I didn't want him to go that I needed him here with me. He said, "NO, Mara, I have to go. Let me go." "Fine, then I will go with you," I responded. I felt for an instant that Henry's hand reached out towards me across the rushing fog. Then, quickly I changed my mind. "Henry I have to stay and raise my children. Go, but I will see you again." In seconds his presence moved into the rushing fog and upward he went through the tunnel. I stood there and cried. It felt like for hours. Then the tunnel disappeared. I was standing on air. It was beautiful clouds. Lot's of bright light around me. Henry's form was brillant gold laying in a see-though pearl box. His heart was glowing red. He was alive and at peace. He would not communicate with me anymore. I was content that Henry was in heaven. I said goodbye, then the pearl box disappeared as his form moved upward toward the clouds. It was beautiful. I openned my eyes and the clock said 2:34 PM. I lay there overhealmed with what had just happened. I thought I had fallen asleep, but I had not. I lay there going over and over what I had just experienced. The feelings of love and peace that I experienced, cannot be verbally expressed. The contentment of knowing that I was there through my brother's resurrection gave me much comfort.

Mara -Austin

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