Irate's NDE

> (Scott Roberts) writes: > I've been having email discussions and seen at least 2 posts here that > indicate that NDErs are very skittish about sharing their experience. > Does anybody know the reasons for this? I would greatly appreciate > any advice or ideas. > --------------

Well my boy I can give it to you straight. I dont know who you are or why you are even interested in this stuff but I will try to fill you in. I read some stuff you said to a girl a few posts back and I even checked your web site. A bunch of arrow heads and stuff. I did not see the NDE post you mentioned but that is alright. I also read all that meta-physical hog wash about lets just all wrap ourselves in love and kissy huggy off into the sunset. I can even add some about the egyptians sealing thier kings in stone boxes just long enough suffacate, get an NDE and be revived. Kind of a prelude to the glories of walking with Osirus...but I wont.

So lets get started. First of all I am about 50, I am an out-of-work systems analyst who worked 7 years on the SDI program. I am a practiceing Cathloic and was a Baptist at the time of the NDE. Thats right Virginia I had one. Actually, I had one and a half which I will explain later. My expierence resulted from a vertigo which caused me to step over the edge of an almost straight down 200 foot drop. I bounced off the rocks two times and came to rest no where near the bottom of a much deeper hole. It is called Stratobowl if you care. So several hours later I was duly delivered to the emergency room at ELLSWORTH AFB SO DAKOTA. This was in 1967. I almost bled to death en route from a head wound. Of particular importance is that upon arrival at or near the base gate I got the NDE. When I came back and awakened in the base hospital room I was aware of everything around me and wanted something for pain and a cigarette...got neither one. BUT check this sports fans...I DID HAVE A HALUCINATION!! This is NOT to be confused with the NDE which happened prior. I had both the same afternoon. I have had other mind experiences also (spent a year in Viet Nam). All that is there to show you that I can tell the difference between an NDE, a bad dream, and my butt. I netted 6 weeks in the hospital, one week in ICU, three of the most pain filled days of my life because head injuries do not get painkillers, I had short term amnesia for abour two weeks, could not identify lists of things like what are breakfast foods, or who I had talked to this morning. Then I went home for four weeks.

Well here is a blow by blow of the NDE. I was conscious through several hours of the Rapid City Fire Departments effort to rescue me. In the back of their van, because then there was no little hospital there like we have now, I was strapped into one of those rescue litters and transported back to the base. This was about twenty five minutes. I lost conscicousness somewhere along the way so I missed most of the trip. Somehow the inner me became aware. The outter me was just a lump. I heard a distant sound and decided that it was a faint heart beat. Another one came, weaker and slower, then another, softer yet. Then I decided that they were my heeart beats and they were about to stop altogether. I checked breathing and it had stopped. Note- that I noticed these things. Thats all, I just noticed them. I was dieing and really didnt care, was not afraid, and just sort of wondered what was next.

Next was the tunnel. It was a black tunnel through a blacker sky littered with stars off in the distance. The tunnel turned and twisted like a waterslide and we went for a long time. After a time, I just kind of plopped out at the other end with two really washed out watercolor images of me. Then I saw it. I had seen the luminessance (if you are going to bitch about spelling I will stop right now) alright then! before I plopped out but now I really saw it. The light was blue-white in color it seemed floress rather than radiate, except from the bottom. I know you dont know the bottom of what, well the what is a doughnut. The top and bottom surfaces are mostly flat and the inside hole and outside surface are slanted wider at the bottom than the top. It has no real boundries and is filled with souls, energy seeds, entiteis or anyother pronoun you want to represent all the people who ever lived. They were in the light that was the doughnut. GOD made the light not because he MADE it but he is IT!. Think about a torus (doughnut) cut it and uncurl it and you have a cylinder. Suppose it is hollow. Slice it once end to end, flatten it out and you have a rectangle. Consider that each corner of the rectangle is exactly the same spot in space. (you may have to remember that when you put it back together it is a torus again to get that). Now all the people from all time were in the torus and they all knew what everyother one knew all at the same time. If one had a thought all had a thought. And believe me they thought a lot..all of them. True thoughts, good thoughts. I dont want to do it here but ... there was no evil there, therefore no good, but all was good. Just pretend it makes sense. I could see, taste, feel, hear, know that there was a purpose, that there is eternity, that you never get board, and that after you really enter the light you NEVER come back. Never found out what the purpose was.

I was near it. I could feel GOD. I was drawn to it. I wanted it. A person or St. Peter like thing said I could nt go into the light untill I decided if I wanted to stay. Bummer. I just wanted to ask a couple of questions and rest awhile. There was the most wonderous peace, the deepest unity, and the greatest serinity anyone ever knew just a few steps away and I could not go there untill I decided.

The two really washed out watercolor images of me began to argue to stay or go back to earth. Hold in mind that some can never stay, some cant go back and some like me have to choose. Well as you see I came back. Why you ask. Well, one of the images of me, the one on the left, showed me some of the wonders that could be had on earth alive, like sex and key lime pie, and PROMISED that if I went back I would be garrented another chance to die...so get the D ticket ride and the E ticket for the price of one. I came back...today I dont know why I did not stay. I do know that I can not do anything to force myself to die or I may not get back to where I want to go. Since then, I have been in a car wreack that totalled a chevy belaire with three end over end flips, I had a diving accident that fractured my first cervical vertabre and several other strange things and I am still here. I dont know why. Where is the enlightenment, the great deed to do, the great love? I just want to go back and give up all this crap with computers, credit cards, garbage dumps and all the shit. But guess what! you aint getting off this rockl one second before GOD says you can go..

Why dont we tell? you wont believe it is why. But you see you are at the disadvantage because I did it, I felt it, I saw it, and you only think about it. I no longer care if anyone or everyone believes it. I dont care if it is oxygen starvation or a real soul. I just dont care. You can not argue the point because you dont see the poin. only those who want to get back know the facts. PS: I was in a pain relief class that used self hypnosis and tempature related bio-feedback to relieve pain. Once, just before I stopped playing games with my head, I raised the tempature of the middle finger on my left hand to 101 degrees. Core temp is only 98. During that process I had slowed everything down so far that I began to feel the way I felt near the light. It scared me so that I do not do biofeed back anymore. Thats it. aint much and I am as confused as ever, but its my story and I an sticking to it. Want to bitch.. send it to (deleted). See Ya!

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