Laurie's Experience
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Newsgroups: talk.religion.newage,alt.consciousness.near-death-exp,alt.consciousness.mysticism,alt.life.afterlife,alt.paranormal.channeling,alt.religion.course-miracle,alt.out-of-body,sci.philosophy.meta
Subject: A Light Experience: Part Two
From: Laurie Immekus
Date: Thu, 27 Jun 1996 00:34:20 -0700
What follows is a repeat of A Light Experience: Part One:
I want to tell you about a mystical experience I had:
Part One: Searching and Despair
About six months after I started studying "A Course in Miracles (ACIM)" and
applying it to my life, I had an experience which had subsequently changed my life and
beliefs. It was similiar to a near-death-experience, except I didn't die or nearly die.
It was similiar to an out-of-body experience, except I was not experiencing the physical
level of awareness or dimensions; I saw a place of unlimited dimensions. And the
experience was precepted by despair.
I could really relate to ACIM right from the beginning. I felt the book had been
written just for me. It was what I had been waiting for. One of the early statements in
the first book says that there are many paths to the Truth, and this is but one of them.
I like that. I have been to a lot of churches and groups and it seemed that they all
said "We're the ONLY way to Truth." I always hated that. I always thought, "Why would
God create people and then only keep a handful of them." That didn't make sense to me.
So eventually, I stopped looking. And I started living in despair. It became a
constant state of being, and so I stopped noticing it. It was only later, when it went
away, that I realized how it had been rooted deep in my heart.
I hated living here. In this world, I mean, not the city, state, or country, but
the world and society. I was very cynical--in fact, I prided myself on my cynicism,
making fun of people whom I thought of as "simple-minded fools," people who had faith in
something.
Many times in my life I had thought about suicide. I came close to suicide when
I was 21--but that's another story. Suffice it to say I can really relate to young
adults who feel hopeless enough to see suicide as the only way out. I understand, and I
mourn those who go through with it. I know desperation, and I know it is nearly
impossible to see beyond it. Only now, now that I am living on the other side, now that
I have found the way out of the maze of despair, now do I see it is not hopeless. (If
you want to talk about this, e-mail me or post a note on the news line.)
So even though the people in my life didn't appear to know it, I was always
depressed; I always had a big smile and I pretended that I was fine--but I was lying. I
believe now that I was chronically depressed.
I'll leave you now. In the next posting I'll describe the events leading up to
my mystical experience.
Part Two: Finding a Path
As I said in part one, my life was desperate and suicidal. When I was 16, my
mother died. I was devastated. For many years afterward I searched for something that
could make me feel safe. The Course in Miracles describes this search as hearing the
Call. It says we will do many things to get around answering the Call, many things to
delay our spiritual search. You can delay, but eventually you must answer.
I did delay. Over a period of about 15 years I tried many things to make me feel
safe: I was a teenage runaway; lived in a commune; wrote poetry; became a small press
publisher; tried to understand yoga, buddism, and reincarnation; abused
drugs--especially hallucinogins--alcohol, and sex; went to college; got married and
divorced; started a career; and used therapy and recovery groups to help "straighten
out" my life. But no matter what I tried, what I did, I wasn't happy. I still felt a
deep desire for something that made me feel empty.
I found myself at a place of serious spiritual contemplation.
I started reading "new age" spiritual literature. I liked it, but no matter how
many books I read it wasn't enough.
One day I heard the words "A Course in Miracles." I was astounded. I said, "You
mean there's a course...in miracles?" The title spoke to me. I wanted to see it.
The next week I bought the book without ever having read any of it. I think now
that this book was meant for me all along. I am not prosletizing...this book is not for
everyone and I would not push it on anyone. But I opened the first page, read it, and
knew I had come home...to my home. I had been looking for this book all my life. I
understood what it was saying because these were the things I had always believed but
which scared me terribly: the belief that this world is a fake, that everyone is scared,
that most people are looking for scapegoats, that there is a lot more than what we see
and hear--there is a much larger world.
For six months I studied the Course avidly, for hours a day. I started a group
for Course students in my area, mostly people I knew from the local Unity church and
recovery groups. I loved what it said about how God Himself would reach down and take us
Home to Heaven when the time was right. My desire to go Home was growing.
Following is part three of a synosis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences,"
copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used
for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author,
Laurie Immekus.
Dear One and All,
I tried to send this part three, three times from my computer and it wouldn't
work. Then I got the message that I needed to add the copyright notice to it before I
sent out anymore parts of the story. Someone told me they had made copies of the
story to share with their group--that's fine with me. This copyright notice is just
to keep others from using this story in commercial ventures. Now let's see if this will
mail out.
A Light Experience: Part Three: Waking up in Heaven
As I said in part two, I wanted to go Home, Home to Heaven. And I became
convinced that God could and would take me Home if I made Him see how much I hated it
here in this world. I didn't ralize then that I don't have to "show" God anything--He
already knows everything about me.
One day it hit me--I couldn't stand it here in this world anymore and I was
ready to go Home. But I wasn't going to commit suicide--no, I didn't need to. By that
time I had learned that I could go to God with all my thoughts, wants, and needs. So I
thought, "God must know how miserable I am here. I'm going to ask Him to take me Home to
Heaven today." I felt convinced that He would do it.
Over the next 16 hours or so I prayed and meditated that God would take me home
to Heaven. I believed.
I was tremendously worked up during this experience: I was crying and yelling
and raving...and then I'd fall into a deep meditation. Everytime I came out of
meditation hours later and found myself still here, I was so surprised, and even more
upset, and I'd start over.
The next thing I knew, I was Awake...Awake for the first time I ever remembered!
Not dreaming! This world is a dream in comparison to where I was. I call it Heaven.
First let me say that words cannot convey this experience because words are mere
symbols of thoughts which are symbols of awareness.
I noticed many things all at once: my awareness was superhuman...I seemed to
know everything. It was all there in "front" of me...truth, knowledge,
awareness--everything. I didn't have to work at it--it was just there.
I knew/experienced that there was nothing but Love. I was "in" Love. It was so
intense that there was no room for any lesser thoughts, any non-thoughts. And I knew
that Love and Peace and Joy and Truth and many other things are exactly the same thing
and dwelt in the same place. And this was the place!
I became aware that this place included ALL the dimensions. Unlimited,
unnumbered. Before this experience, I didn't have a clue as to the concept of
dimensions. I had read about them in science fiction stories, but I always visualized
alternate dimensions as different places that were a lot like out dimension, but had
different things going on. But this experience of dimensions was more like this: if this
world were two-dimensional then we would be living on a flat surface. Pretend we are
looking at this world in a drawing on a piece of paper. Then think about the person who
is in the third dimension--like this world--who is looking at the paper drawing.
Looking at this world was kind of like looking at a drawing on a piece of
paper--only much more so, because instead of being three dimensions or four or five or
any number, it was ALL dimensions. A place where numbers are meaningless.
The ultimate awareness of being in this place was that I was at that very moment
right inside of God. God was "holding" me with all the Love there is. And God was in me,
in every "pore" of my being. And God was a BEING, not just a concept or a principle or
an accumulation or things or anything without consciousness. God was the ultimate
consciousness, and "He" was completely aware of my presence.
The way I was being held, I knew I was God's Creation, and just like Him. I use
the word "Him" because it's familiar and it implies consciousness, but God was in no way
a gender--we were way beyond the material realm here.
The closest description I can come up with in words and visualizations is that I
was immersed in God, much as a drop of water is immersed in the ocean. But even that
doesn't do justice to this experience, because I think of a drop of water as something
seperate from the rest of the water, but cohabiting with it. And I was not separate from
God in any way--God was in every "part" of me.
I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever. But that was not to be.
Still, there was something else I needed to see.
Following is part three of a synopsis from the upcoming book, "Light Experiences,"
copyright 1996 by Laurie Immekus. No portions of any parts of the synopsis may be used
for private gain or profit or in any way without written permission of the author,
Laurie Immekus.
Dear One and All,
Here is Part Four of A Light Experience:
A Light Experience: Part Four: Seeing God's Treasure
I was inside of God, and I just wanted to stay there forever and ever and ever.
Then God said, "Do you want to see something more beautiful than anything else?"
(I'm paraphrasing here. God didn't talk or use words, actually I just knew what he
wanted me to know, so I call it talking for lack of better words.)
I knew that, to God, what He was going to show me was the most beautiful of
all--His Treasure. Of course I said, "Yes!"
Then we went to a "place." Before that, we were not really in a place, we were
just "in" each other. There was nothing else, and yet everything was there. But now we
went to a distinct place. I knew we were still in the realm of all-dimension, and yet we
were "seeing" things. But we weren't using eyes to see, it was Vision.
There were many things there. But finally God brought my attention to an altar
or stage of some sort. It reminded me of one of those platforms a doll would stand on
and a glass jar would cover. It was surrounded by Light--Real Light, not physical light,
Light that was all-dimensional, not limited like something in the physical realm. And
the Light formed a oblong like a glass jar would over a doll stand.
I knew that this was where God wanted me to look, that this was His Treasure.
And then it began.
I saw person after person. God showed me people through a higher perspective
than I have ever known possible. I saw them, one after another, just as they appeared
"down below" on earth--or at a place of lower awareness--with their egos, their life
roles, their bodies, their beliefs, their convictions, their awareness.
I saw people that I would have been repulsed by or impressed by when looking at
them from a lower awareness. But in that higher view I actually saw that they were made
out of The Light. It wasn't physical light, which is limited to the physical dimensions,
but Real Light, multidimensional, spiritual. The thought "spiritual" takes on a new
meaning under that view; it's not a religious thing or a worship thing, it's more like
clarity or Reality.
I understood that we were in a place of unlimited dimensions, but more than
that. I saw that God was telling me that we are always in that place, we are always in
Heaven, we are always in The Light. A place where we are made out of The Light, where we
ARE The Light. And it didn't matter what role or body or belief system or job or
intensions the person thought he had, what high state of office or power or prestige or
what lowly state of poverty or self-reproach or ignorance or depravity the person was
living in--The Light was the same for everyone.
And something else.
Each person was sooooo lovely, so startlingly beautiful, that their egos,
bodies, and roles were also beautiful. There was nothing that could change the reality
of what they were--The Light.
This was truly a most beautiful sight.
Then I felt something pulling at me. I felt myself leaving this place. "No! No!
I don't want to go," I said. I was surprised. I had no idea that I was going to have to
leave, and I didn't want to go. But God had other plans for me.
Many things happened to me as a result of this experience: I had a period of
startling clarity here in the material realm, I started hearing the Holy Spirit--God's
Voice here in this realm, I experienced mental healing, I started to channel, and
everyday my psychic abilities grow. One thing became very clear to me: I always knew,
from that moment on, that God is my constant companion. And yours, too.
Thanks for reading my experience, A Light Experience. I am currently in the
process of making it into a book along with the experiences of other people. If you are
interested in the possibility or your story be included, or if you know someone who
might be interested, please contact me at POETIC1@worldnet.att.net
Love and Behappy,
Laurie
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