MJ

Received August 3, 1997

I was 19 years old when I had this experience in 1965. I had caught a nasty flu that was nealy epidemic in my town and before I could recover both my parents came down with it. There were just the three of us, so I took over taking care of them--this was a flu with high fever, aches, head and chest congestion, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and all the nasties you can get with influenza. By the time my Mom and Dad were feeling almost human I relapsed and was incredibly sick--that's when it happened.

I was too sick to read or watch TV, I was seldom awake, just laying and hurting. I recall that I suddenly felt light as a feather and totally free of discomfort. I noticed that I was looking down at myself: I was laying on my left side, my hair tangled on the pillow, and by the shape of the blanket over me, my knees were drawn up to my abdomen and my hands curled up under my chin. I can recall every detail of that view from the pattern in the blanket, the light blue pillow case, to every tiny detail of myself and the room. Then I noticed that my eyes were closed and it dawned on me that I was seeing myself from above--seeing myself and my eyes were closed! I felt no troubling emotions, just the awareness that I was not inside myself any longer. I remember thinking, "I wonder if I've died?"

A cloudy gray mist formed around me that had sparkling white pin points of light within it and I seemed to float higher and higher when I saw a bright white light in the distance. It grew in brilliance as though I were approaching a star in a night sky, yet it didn't cause any discomfort to my eyes. At the same time I felt a pulling sensation from the light from my navel and also simultaneously I was overcome with the most wondrous emotions of love and joy and acceptance. It was so fantastically joyful, like a long awaited homecoming. I desperately wanted to get into that incredible light. I could not, however, get past the gray mist which had accompanied and surrounded me. It held me back.

The next thing I remember is I'm back in myself, in bed, feeling emotionally uplifted but disappointed to discover I was not dead! I felt a longing for that incredible Light. At that moment I totally lost my fear of death--I KNEW from the experience that death is not an ending, but a return or homecoming to where life begins. While I continued to recover from my flu relapse, I thought about what I'd experienced continually. I didn't want something I treasured to be ridiculed so I never told anyone until just this year when my father left his body and made his transition into the Light.

It was many years after my experience that I discovered the term Near Death Experience. I could personally relate to what I read about them--the Light IS real. We don't really die--our spirits just go home to where we're loved best and wanted most.

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