When I was nine years old, my twin brother, a friend and myself were playing along the Mississippi river in Minneapolis. It didn't seem to be unusual; we often did so. What made this time out different, though, was that it was February, and the river appeared to be frozen over.
We walked along the ice for a time. My brother was wary about doing so. I tried to tell him that the ice was "...real strong here" so I jumped up and down. On my third jump, I went through the ice.
All was panic. The water was very cold. My heavy winter clothes were making it difficult to stay afloat. Since we were in the middle of winter, the water level had dropped a bit, and there was a layer of air between the water and the ice above. The river also maintained a current, so I was moving downstream. I continued to struggle mightily, thinking "I'm only nine. That's too young to die." The longer I was under the ice, the less significant time became. It was as if time had no meaning. Everything happened sequentially but simultaneously. I became very tired. I noticed that I could no longer feel the cold. My hearing was heightened. I could hear the movement of the water. I could hear the traffic on the bridge overhead and behind me. I could see clearly, even though it was dark and I was under the ice and moving downstream.
Then, a complete calm and serenity overtook me. I was at total peace. I began to come into an awareness that all was not over. I could sense a light. It was brilliant, but caused no discomfort when looking at it. In fact, I gained strength by looking into the light. I then sensed a presence. I had the knowledge that this was Jesus, and he was assuring me that everything was fine. I felt total love from this presence. I was home. More so than I was ever home before. I was presented with a sense that all questions were to be answered if I stayed.
He then presented me with an option-I could continue toward the light. It was becoming a part of me, and I was becoming a part of it. While the light seemed to be a single entity, there were also noticeable individuals within it. The second choice I had was to return. I wanted to stay. All was calm; all was love. I knew that whichever route I chose, it would be the right one; there was no wrong choice.
At that moment, my brother and friend broke through the ice, precisely where I was. The odds of this seemed staggering to me; I was under the ice--they couldn't see me. I was moving downstream. How could they find me? I felt resentment at them for coming for me. But I still grabbed the large stick they placed in front of me. I was assured that this was fine; that there were still things to do before joining with the light. I allowed myself to be pulled back into my body, and then out of the water. The cold returned instantly. The heightened sense of hearing and sight gradually diminished. It was as if I had experienced what we are truly capable of, and that I was returning into a form that was inherently limiting of all that is possible. My memory seemed to change, too. Even though I had just experienced the most extraordinary event of my short life, it seemed surreal. Did it happen? Was I hallucinating? No. It was real. The memory of the event is not like other memories. Whenever I think about it, the same emotions come flooding back. An overwhelming sense that everything is "right", that this is the way things are supposed to be.
Since the event occurred, I've mentioned to some people that
I've had a near death experience (even before I knew what to
call it.) Most people seemed skeptical at best. So I stopped
talking about it. I knew what had occurred, but when I spoke
about it, there was no way to adequately describe what had
happened. The best way I can think to describe it now is that
I'd been to heaven.
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