I want to tell you about an experience I had on February 14, 1988. I don’t know if you could call it a Near Death Experience, since I don’t recall moving ‘towards the light’ or meeting long dead relatives. Of all the research I have done over the years on NDE’s, I have yet to find someone with an experience similar to mine. To this day, eight years later, I’m still looking for the answer: What really happened to me?
Since the accident, I have developed an acute sixth sense, something I never had before. I noticed these strange feelings shortly after I was released from the hospital, and quickly dismissed them due to the medication I was taking for pain. But the feelings were persistent and grew stronger as time went on, long after I stopped taking the medication. These feelings I had were confusing at first, something like static noise from a radio that was off-station. I soon discovered that I could ‘channel’ the noise and focus it if I concentrated hard enough. But I must admit, if I was in a room full of people, or an elevator, I couldn’t concentrate and the feelings ran rampant. I just stopped trying after awhile, and tried to block the noise out. Unknown to me at the time, I had just taken the first step in controlling these new found emotions.
After a year of dealing with this, I decided to talk to someone about it hoping they could provide some answers. I went through two doctors and still wasn’t any closer to the truth. By this time, two years had passed and I now had a term for what I was experiencing; impressions. I could also focus them with little concentration and was quite amazed by the accuracy. I still couldn’t predict the weather though
Although I still experience these impressions on a daily basis, I still haven’t discovered the cause. I can only say they started shortly after the accident, and have been with me ever since. They can be quite spontaneous and catch me completely off guard. I find I can finish people’s sentences for them, pass them something they haven’t verbally asked for (this catches them off guard) and generally get a positive or negative feeling from someone. I am usually drawn to other people who have had a similar experience and meeting them for the first time feels like I’ve known them all my life. This is interesting I think, because its almost like I’m drawn to them in some way. Usually after a few moments of conversation, they will mention they’re attraction to me. I have met some very interesting people this way.
There is one piece to the puzzle that I can’t explain, and I don’t expect I ever will. Certain images will trigger what I call, a floating experience. This can be very relaxing. Depending on the image, the experience can be very intense, or mild. I have noticed a very strong attraction to the night sky as this is usually the time these experiences are at their most strongest. I can almost feel the texture of the sky, reach out and touch the fabric. It’s really quite something and I hope I never lose this gift.
Trying to make sense of it all keeps me searching for answers. Something happened to me on that day eight years ago, of this I’m certain. Every once in awhile bits and pieces will float in and out, never enough to invoke the complete memory. Its almost like having the answer on the tip of your tongue for eight years, waiting for someone else to shout it out, but they never do. Its like waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never does. I have a firm belief in God and the afterlife, whereas prior to the accident, I held no religeous beliefs - this is interesting as I don’t know where it came from. For some unknown reason, I take comfort in the thought that someone is looking out for me and will provide the answer I am looking for. Whether its in this life, or the next.
Timothy