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Just about everyone thinks about having children. We are raised to think that we are supposed to have children. So what do gay persons do?

Gay Parents who married the opposite sex before "discovering" they were gay

Some women and men marry and then realize that they are gay or visa versa. The major obligation that a person has is to the children in that case. Regardless if you are a man or a woman, then your responsibility is to give the children a loving accepting home. This means trying to create an amicable relationship between yourself and your partner if possible. This may be impossible if either of the parties is abusive.

So it eventually the female may get custody(she usually does), and the male has part-time visitation. Regardless of the parent, the child will do better not to have a parade of other persons flood their life. The child will have difficulty bonding as is in a divorce situation. Having the child attach to one person and then having that person snatched out of their life is cruel and inhumane. Having one person after the other enter the child's life is worse than cruel.

Gay parenting of Children

Some single persons may wish to adopt or conceive a child. This is available to you if you choose. However, one must first consider what this choice will demand of you, the parent. This includes considering the sacrifices that would be a natural consequence of such a choice. You will certainly agree that there are a lot of straight people that have children that have no business raising a child. They are neglectful, abusive and cruel. You do not want to find yourself doing the same thing.

It is also true that gay or lesbian couples may choose to adopt or conceive a child. Parents need to consider all the situations that this child will face having two gay parents. Whether a single person or a gay couple, you need to take all of this into consideration before adopting or conceiving a child.

Some of these considerations are :

1) How will I handle new relationships(for the single person) and how much of a commitment does the couple have?

Couples need to commit to raise the child together until the child is at least 18. Don't even start with that part about what straight couples do. We are talking about the best interest of the child here and not YOUR interests.

2) How will we(I) plan for the child's education?

3) How will we(I) deal with the school situation for this child? Going to PTSA meetings, Neighborhood kids, birthday parties, etc.

4) What will the child tell his friends about you?

5) How will the child learn to relate to the opposite sex?

It is important that a child have a good relationship with someone of the opposite sex that is not transitory. Learning the value of relationships with people from a diverse group is not enough. The statistics show that gay people usually bear heterosexual children. It only makes sense that it will help in future relations with the opposite sex if the child has a significant relationship with both sexes.

Do the what is best for the child.

This does not mean to give the child everything. This does mean that the first five years of every child are powerful years. The child learns more about how to relate to the world then than any other time. Be there with your child. If you must sacrifice to do so, do it.

The most fundamental right of a child is to be loved.

Be there for your child. Be home when the child gets home. Go to your child's special events. Be better at parenting than the society at large. Love your child.

A Response from a reader

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