|When you finally find the right person,
you will certainly want to share your joy with your family and friends. You will want to
follow the religious beliefs with which you were raised and have an appropriate ceremony.
This is a major step in your life and not one to be entered lightly. The straight world has made a mockery of marriage in that so many marry and divorce and marry and divorce. It has become quite common for gay relationships to end in a similar manner.
Therefore, it is recommended that you know one another for at least a year and preferably 2. (For that matter, we also tend to move in together entirely too fast. Most gay couples only know one another 1 month before we move in together. Is that smart? You really need to know one another at least 6 months or more.)
The simple truth is that human nature is such that we tend to be deceptive in some ways in the beginning of a relationship. We put our best foot forward and then, when we begin to relax, we slip into our natural selves. The other person falls for that "perfect you" and finds 3 years later that you just could not maintain that perfection. We just tend to give the other person what they want to get a pay off- their attention.
So this matter of Holy Union is a serious matter. Here we promise to love and cherish always and forever no matter what. This is not a choice that I would recommend for young people. These are promises that will be very difficult to keep if made before the person is mature. This is because we look for different kinds of relationships and place value on different kinds of things as we grow up and older. Finding the person who will grow with you and in the same direction is easier the more mature you and your partner are.
Your promise is before friends and family. (If any of your family can be there for you. This is somethimes hard.) The promise is also before God. If you have a ceremony in the MCC church then you will have a church ceremony. There are some Rabbis and Priests who will perform a holy union for you. There are a few other churches that do the same.
So under what circumstances is the union void. I like what Dr Laura said. She called it the 3 A's.
Abuse, continued and sustained, either verbal or physical.
Addiction, to drugs or alcohol.
Adultery-cheating on your spouse.
And I will add another:
Deceit: If this union was joined with one of the parties having lied and deceived the other, then the union is null and void.
Let those whom God has joined together let no man set asunder. Therefore, those friends who would undermine your relationship from the beginning or those who would seek to divide you in any way are NOT your friends.
You will need to seek wholesome relationships as friends. You will need to devote your energies toward one another.
So go forth and rejoice.
Partners Taskforce for Gay Couples