The real danger in our natural loves is not that we will love our fellow men too little, but that we will love them too much. In every wife, mother, child, and friend, there is a possible rival to God (which explains Luke 14:26: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.")
("Hate" in the sense of rejection, of setting one's face against, of making no concession to the Beloved when the Beloved utters, however sweetly and however pitiably, the suggestions of the Devil.) (p.123)
At the same time, it is probably impossible to love any human "too much." We love that person too much compared to our love for God, but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the magnitude of our love for another, that is the problem.
The real question in controlling our love for others is, which (God or man), when the alternative comes, do you serve? To which claim does your will, in the last resort, yield?
I could not love thee, dear, so much, Loved I not honor more.
It operates as an acknowledgement, shared no doubt by both at the same time, that there are higher duties, higher callings, than the love of the other.
E.g., of Carlyle and Mill: "they differed about justice, and that such a difference was naturally fatal 'to any friendship worthy of the name.'" (p.125)
Improving and strengthening our loves: The most important element is that each love must be guided, limited, directed, encouraged, strengthened, restrained, and affected in every possible way, by a love and devotion to God.
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6/1/97 (From materials, 3/18/94)