If you're tired of city summers
And the heat of city streets,
And you crave to spend your lifetime
On a farm.
Listen, Brothers, heed my warning!
Life is rosy in the Dawning,
But the guy who sells you acreage
Is out to do you harm.
Oh, the chickens will lay eggs for you
And the Garden will grow some greens
And you'll all agree that is pretty fine
But, beware that pesky critter
with the milk bag ‘neath her sitter
Of the Species that is known
as the Bovine.
Though she seems both calm and gentle
As the milk flows from her teats
While the farmer says
"There's really nothing to it!"
You'll find out when you get nigh her
And you'll wish you didn't buy her
When you pull and pull and pull
and you can't do it!
Ah, her tail will swat you thither
And her hoof will kick you yon
And you'll sweat and strain each muscle
More and more.
But no milk gets in the bucket,
And you'll say "Oh Hell, lets chuck it!"
Take a tip from one who's tried it, Brother,
I've been there before.