• "Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods." Japanese proverb
• "If you cry over losing the sun, your tears will make it impossible to see the stars." unknown
• "Your proctologist called, they found your head." T-shirt
• "May the gods of good fortune smile upon you, unless the gods of good sex show up first. In that case, tell those good fortune guys to take a hike." Old Irish Proverb
• "Men are like a fine wine, they start out like grapes and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd want to have dinner with." Unknown
• "Happy is a house that shelters a friend." Ralph Waldo Emerson
• "How easily men become friends if someone does not encourage them to be enemies." Morgan Llywelyn-The Lion of Ireland
• "When you do a kindness it's like dropping a pebble in the great ocean and the ripple goes on and on forever and no wave, not even as far away as Italy or Egypt is the same." Anne Rice-Servant of the Bones
• "Imagination is more important than knowledge." Albert Einstien
• "It's a damned poor mind indeed, that can't think of at least 2 ways of spelling a word." Andrew Jackson
• "Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face." Victor Hugo
• "To say they were wooden would be an insult to trees." Joan Collins
• "It's weird having a girl in the Bat cave. My god, people are going to start thinking Batman and Robin are heterosexuals." Chris O'Donnell
• "Why should I pretend I'm a mature person." Jed the Fish (KROQ)
• "Sexy has to do with confidence, savvy, self esteem, joie de vivre, and living life to the fullest." Camryn Manheim
• "He's a politician, that's a pathological liar." Bill Maher - Politically Incorrect
• "...the highest honor is having a pub named after you." Billy Bragg
• "There are three things I've learned never to discuss with other people, religion, politics, and the Great Pumkin." Linus -It's the Great Pumkin Charlie Brown
• "Courage isn't the absense of fear, it's acting despite it." Elinor Roosevelt
• "Sex isn't any good unless you're breaking at least one law in Alabama." Ian Punett
  Coast to Coast Live
• "Don't let the dysfunction win!" Ian Punett
  Coast to Coast Live
• "It's all part of the cycle. The circle. The Circle of life. (I'm holding up a baby lion on a big flat rock, am I gonna get sued?" Joss Whedon, Liner notes for Radio Sunnydale
• "Don't argue with fools. People from a distance can't tell the differance." Graffiti
• "Then you know I got tired of all those beautiful women and I wanted to be around corpes and criminals" Chris Noth
• "Rythm and harmony are essential to the whole of life." Plato
• "I'm a rock star, I have a reputaion to live down to." Bono
• "Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. They teach you there's a boundary line to music. But, man, there's no boundary line to art." Charlie Parker
• "...a genuine smile gives us hope..." The Dahlai Lama
• "We are each of us angels with only one wing and we only can fly embracing eachother." Lucianode Crescenzo
• "Compassion is cumpulsory for everyone to practice and if I were a dictator, I would dictate to everyone to do so." The Dahlai Lama
• "Violence is destructive, non violence is constuctive." The Dahlai Lama
• "There are no passengers on the spaceship earth. We are all crew." Marchall Mcluhan
• "Life is a gift and it offers us the privilege, oppertunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more." Anthony Robins
• "The bond that links your true family is not of blood, but respect and joy in eachother's life, rarely do members of one family grow up under one roof." Richard Bach
• "Feel the fear and do it anyway." Billy Morrison (Indie 103.1)
• "Never underestimate American Stupidity." Joe Escalante (Indie 103.1)
• "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a moment before starting to improve the world." Anne Frank
• "My idea of a superbowl is a toilet that cleans itself" Maxine
• "What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing, it also depends on what kind of person you are." CS Lewis
• "My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am." Unknown
• "Most people think of peace as a state of Nothing Bad Happening, yet if peace is to overtake us and make us the gift of serenity and well-being, it will have to be the state of Something Good Happening." E.B.White
• "The artist is not a special kind of person; rather each person is a special kind of artist." Amanda Coomaraswamy
• "The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind." William James
• "Fragrance always remains on the hand that gioves the rose." Gandhi
• "Happiness is the soul's joy in the possession of the intangible." William Jordan
• "The world is better with less flatulence." George Knapp (Coast to Coast AM)
• "Each of us have to have two loves, we have to love what we do and love the people around us." Ray Bradbury
• "Love what you write and write what you love." Ray Bradbury
• "We are given the gift of life and we must give the gift back to the universe around us." Ray Bradbury
• "Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly." Sam Keem
• "If you want your children to be bright tell then fairy tales, if you want them to be brilliant, tell them more fairy tales." Albert Einstein
• "We are not to throw away those things which can benifit our neighbor. Goods are called good, because they can be used for good. They are instruments for good in the hands of those who use them properly." Clement of Alexandria
• "Nature is very busy." David Lynch
• "Dreams are renewable, no matter what our age or condition there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born." Dale E. Turner
• "Peace is not the absence of conflict but the creative alternatives for responding to conflict." Dorothy Thompson
• "We're here for a very short time, so let's have fun!" Gary Busey
• "Biology is the least of what makessomeone a mother." Oprah
• "Happiness is when you think what you say and what you do, are in harmony." Mahatma Gandhi
• "Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi
• "I believe it to be perfectly possible for an individual to adopt the way of life of the future...without having to wait for other to do so." Gandhi
• "When you have a diet of lies, its pretty hard to change your eating habits." Steve Quale
• "A man's true wealth is the good he does in the world." Muhammad
• "Joy is not in things, it is in us." Richard Wagner
• If you lose hope, somehow, you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose the courage to be that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today, I still have a dream." Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
• "The purpose of conversation; the greatest good to the greatest number of people for the longest time." Gifford Pinchot
• "If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it." Lucy Larcom
• "A compliment is verbal sunshine." Robert Orben

  Buttons, T-Shirts and Bumper Stickers

• "Don't meddle in the affair of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with catsup."
• "Photons have mass, I didn't even know they were Catholic."
• "I'm pro lifejacket and I boat."
• "It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
• "I never met a chocolate I didn't like."
• "Don't postpone joy"
• "We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing."
• "I must be a mushroom, everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me bulls**t."
• "I had a life once, now I have a computer and a modem."
• "I must hurry after them, for I am their leader."
• "Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil."
• "Why do they call it 'tourist season', when we can't hunt them."
• "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
• A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
• A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• All generalizations are false, including this one.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. – Dorothy
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
• Born free...Taxed to death.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
  
• Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
• Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off..
• Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!' ...till you can find a rock
• Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
• Don't get a drink for the road; the road is already laid out.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• Don't take my signals literally.
  
• Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• E. coli Happens.
• Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• Eat right, stay fit, die anyway
• Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
• Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• Give pizza chants.
• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest!
• Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
• I brake for no apparent reason.
• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory
• I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
• I love children, especially in a cream sauce.
• I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
• I smile because I don't know what's going on.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening
• I'm not as drunk as theeple peep I am.
• I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
• If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
• If something goes without saying, LET IT!
• If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
• If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
• If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
• If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
• Sanity is backordered, sacrcasm is in unlimited supply.
• My inner child thinks you're a poopy face.
• Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilage."
• "Good morning is an oxymoron
• Imagination is the foundation of reality.
• It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
• Jesus is coming, and boy is she pissed!
• Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
• Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
• Lord save me from your followers.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
• My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
• My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
• My son is an honor student at the state correctional facility.
• Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!
• OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
• There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
• Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
• What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
• When all else fails, lower your standards.
• When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
• Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
• Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
• You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  
• Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
• Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
• Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
• He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
  But is Miles From The Next Exit.
• I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
• How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
• Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
• If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
• Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
• The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
• I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
• Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
• Illiterate? Write For Help.
• Honk If Anything Falls Off.
• L Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
• He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit.
• I Refuse To Have A Battle of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
• You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
• I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
• Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
• (Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
• Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are Timed For 70 mph
• Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
• If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
• Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
• Boldly Going Nowhere.
• Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
• Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
• Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
• GROW YOUR OWN DOPE -- PLANT A MAN.
• All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
• I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter.

  Good Sources for Bumper stickers and buttons:

• Pegasus Publishing
• Northern Sun

• "Now I'm gonna have an Altoid and get over myself." Rosie O'Donnell
• "Golf is not a sport, it's men in ugly pants walking around." Rosie
• "Too sweet-those are two words you'll never hear me say together." Rosie
• "It's very good, it's sugary and there's no fruit in it, those are two of my favorite things." Rosie
• "I know some French, wanna hear...croissant." Rosie
• "It's not the size of the font, it's the size of your heart." Camryn Manheim (To Rosie)
• "If I looked like you I'd be nude now." Rosie to Sarah Michelle Gellar
• "The fact that you eat junk food is very enjoyable to me." Rosie to Pamela Anderson Lee
• "I will not hit Julia, I will not hit Juila..." Scott Bairstow on the black board under Rosie's orders.
  "Rosie please be my friend. At least I'm not a tramp." Scott on the black board, when he was supposed to be writing "I will not hit Julia."
• "If it wasn't sweeps, I would never have done that." Rosie
• "A crafty celebrity, that I enjoy." Rosie

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