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Annoying at any speed
Posted
02/20/00
What is the most
expensive fragrance in the world?
The truth is,
I haven't got a clue. However, one of the most expensive has got
to be the smell of a new sport utility vehicle. And now, with gas
prices approaching $1.50 a gallon and rising at least through the
summer, the fragrance is going to cost even more.
It's going to
cost $50 to fill an SUV's gas tank once. For the new Ford Excursion
with the extra cheese and mayonnaise, it will cost $70. But there's
good news in rising gas prices for those thinking about buying one
of these mastodons. They are going to get cheaper by the month.
Automotive News
just reported that inventories of several popular SUVs rose sharply
last month. On Feb. 1, U.S. dealers had an 82-day supply of Chevy
Blazers on hand, up from a 50-day supply the month before. And,
the gas-price jump is just getting started. It won't be long before
the tree huggers will be giggling at SUV drivers as they pour buckets
of fuel into their rides.
I am not a tree
hugger, except in the Teddy Roosevelt sense. It may be wishful thinking
on my part, but if the sport-ute fad is about to fade, I will not
be shedding tears. They are dangerous, dirty, fuelish and annoying.
But with the OPEC
countries barking again about crude oil prices, SUVs are doing more
than their share of contributing to the problem. That's right. I'm
certain Saddam Hussein loves each and every big-ended sport utility.
It's true that he is supposedly only able to sell oil for food.
But we all know in our hearts that he's selling off the books.
A couple of weeks
ago, the USS Monterey stopped a Russian tanker in the Gulf of Oman
filled with Iraqi oil. More is getting through. Also, last week
70 congressmen signed a resolution calling on President Clinton
to lift the sanctions for humanitarian reasons.
I'm aware that
many affluent SUV owners aren't alarmed yet by high oil prices.
But the consumption levels they help create are what's driving up
the price of home heating oil. It's gotten to the point where Clinton
is having to figure out a way for the government to subsidize heating
oil so poor people in the Northeast won't freeze to death.
But the SUV news
keeps getting better. Last week, a trial opened in Los Angeles in
which the makers of an SUV are suing a consumer protection magazine.
The Japanese firm, Isuzu Motors, has accused Consumer Reports of
rigging tests on its 1996 sport ute, the Trooper. All SUVs have
a dangerous tendency to roll over. But CR tests on the Trooper showed
that in 192 tests of quick lane-change maneuvers at about 33 miles
an hour, its wheels came off the ground 75 times.
As a result of
the publicity, Isuzu maintains, its sales plummeted 54 percent,
costing the company hundreds of millions of dollars. As part of
its case, the Japanese firm is saying that CR simply hates SUVs.
As evidence, they are saying that people watching the tests in bleachers
applauded when the SUVs rolled over.
It is true that
CR laid it on thickly. It carried this notice in its evaluation
of the Trooper: "If you already own one, drive it only when
necessary and use extreme caution." My only point about the
Trooper is that SUVs are as vulnerable as any other product to changing
demand.
I know SUV owners
are pretty defensive. After writing about them once last year, I
got a lot of nasty-grams. Of course, if I paid $30-$50,000 for a
truck that keeps the baby barefoot, I'd be testy too.
The fact of the
matter is large cars, station wagons or mini vans are more comfortable,
hold just as much stuff and are much better bargains. They have
better safety records, don't kill other drivers as often, are more
likely to get you out of trouble, perform better, stop quicker and
are more fun to drive. But they aren't fashionable.
People who know
very little about vehicles look at them and think they are safer
than large cars. Some look like they belong to Mad Max. People with
inferiority complexes may think there's an advantage to sitting
up high. However, you do not have to be an automotive engineer to
know intuitively they are not as stable as a car.
Well, I'm hoping
that Saddam Hussein will do what common sense hasn't been able to
accomplish. In the meantime, please drive it only when necessary.
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