Free Lunch Studios

Tom Gordon

Tom Gordon's Blother

January 29, 2006

Tools of the Trade
Yammer, yammer, yammer...

So I purchased a new sketchbook a week after the new year began. Slowly but surely it's filling up in its own somewhat unique way -- not necessarily the content per se (which for the most part is comprised of the usual overdeveloped overupholstered doxies smiling for the drooling artist, while proudly holding aloft their newly-liberated largish gauzy slings), but the medium in which they're actually being rendered. Essentially I'm doing pencil drawings and inking them with -- oh, sweet Jeebus -- a frickin' Bic ball-point pen.

Well, whaddya want from me? Dammit, I've never been one of those 'artist's materials' enthusiasts, who can rattle off the precise caliber of his Rapidograph or brush and cite to seven decimal places the pigment mix ratio of his palette (whose complement of colors are no doubt organized along some efficent scientific concepts like those of Frank Reilly's). Oh, I have absolutely nothing against such people -- indeed, more power to 'em -- the arena we call 'art' today has been conspicuously devoid of some measure of scientific rigor for decades, now. I'll certainly take one (or even a third) of these methodical types over a hundred of the idiotic Pollockoid I'm-splattering-what-I-feel school, any day of the fargin' week.

But for yours truly... well, it's just a needlessly bureaucratic process. Better to get the Muse's recommendations on paper first, and then drag the whole thing kicking and screaming into Photoshop later, where it can be manipulated to my icy rock heart substitute's content. Pure aesthetic sacriliege, I know...

Returning for a very brief moment to Joel Stein again, I was less puzzled by his imbecilic statements (great Ghu, a LEFTIST, openly rooting for American defeat? Shocking! Shocking I say!) than by the collective conservative reaction, afterward. I believe most of my fellow travellers got about as far as Stein's opening declaration "I don't support the troops," saw that all-too-familiar Red Haze, and then without a moment's pause Unleashed The Kraken, so to speak. The fact that this columnist was also exposing the hypocrisy of his Benedict Arnold-esque peers never really registered, I fear.

Which is a shame. In the crucial battle that's also raging on the American home front, I would much rather deal with an honest (and honestly contemptible) Michael Moore type -- who hates this country and thinks we deserved 9/11 and regards the Islamofascist Jihad as some kind of glorious rebellion against the West's barbaric traditions of freedom, democracy, capitalism and peaceful coexistence between diverse peoples -- than a mushmouthed fencestraddling "moderate" weathervane like John Kerry, whose platform morphs with each election cycle.

Clarity is foo!

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