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Tom Gordon's Blother

February 26, 2006

Gimme that sweet, sweet Kool-Aid
Well! Isn't it high time corporate America acknowledge its higher social responsibilities, meekly appease progressive crusades-of-the-millisecond with lots of freely squandered public-relations moolah -- and finally rehabilitate the Horde? By Gruumsh, affirmative action for orcs NOW!



(Heh heh. I kinda dig how he's only capable of holding the attache case with his overly-plump index fingers. A contemptably pale shade of Dave Trampier's infinitely superior "Wormy" strip, there -- apparently they can't pick their noses either!)

Oh, Steve Jobs, you loathesome harlot. Once again, yours truly's made another pilgrimage to BestBuy, and wistfully fondled the video iPod that would've surely been his RIGHT NOW! TODAY! Were it not for yet another one of Turtleneck Boy's damnable near-monthly Apple tech announcements -- this latest burlesque revue taking place on February 28th!

"Fun new products." The mind boggles. Yahtzees, even. Will it finally be that neo-Newton PDA I've ached for since the Days of Flannel? A clipboard-sized tablet computer enabled with patented 15-point gestural sensitivity that not only retains the aspect ratio of film for wholly legit audio-visual playback, but also runs OS X (albeit Intel-flavored)? Or will it be, as many suspect, that afforementioned conventional 'Pod, fitted with a vanilla touchscreen in place of the click wheel?

Or will it just be a dumb ol' ghetto blaster?

Nobody knows. And nobody will know -- and so I can't buy a smegging thing -- until Fat Tuesday rolls around in all her lascivious, billowing-mammed glory! And WHY is that, you ask? Well, because this sorry cyber-linked world is STILL overflowing with lifeless dork-tards just as pathetic as me who get their gleeful libidinous jollies using Adobe Photoshop to mock up bogus "prototypes" for the Apple-centric websites! GOD, I HATE YOU ALL! HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

(Hooray! Most gratuitously hyper-linked post EVAR! And -- since they cover the entire gamut between Regrettably Obscure Lavishly Illustrated RPG Nostalgia, Drool Inducing Futuretech and Even More Drool Inducing Cute Zaftig Wimmin -- a fairly decent summation of my demented web-browsing tastes, to boot!)
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