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Tom Gordon's Blother

February 13, 2006

Moping In A Winter Wonderland
Manual labor is teh suxX0r.

So. Should I gripe over the fact that -- here and now, in two thousand six A.D. -- there isn't a handy fusion-powered Black & Decker widebeam laser on hand to quickly vaporize away heavy strataform layers of snow currently piled high onto the driveway? Or perhaps a bit of whining about the outrage of even having a 'driveway' at all -- we're still barbarically crawling along the ground, like motorized, wheeled worms? Hello: freakin' stratomobiles, people! Oh, wait a minute -- I know. Hey! Where's that planet-wrapping weather-control network those science fiction snake-oil salesmen promised me? By gum, this snowstorm certainly wasn't on this week's Meteorological Itinerary! Wahhh! I'll sue!



Meh. Must be the only person alive who complains about the future in the past tense. IAE, I wonder at what cynical turning-point in my wretched life the prospect of such a historic blizzard stopped being a cause for dancing-in-the-streets celebration and started becoming something vaguely resembling 'a nuisance.' Why, once upon a time I'd utilize the temporary liberty from school-mandated stupidity to recreate epic Hoth scenes, indulge my inner prepubescent Michelangelo upon the tabula rasa of the front yard, and otherwise commence construction of the Mother of All Ice Fortresses in preparation for the neighborhood-wide slushball war ahead! And now all I think about is all the necessary pain-in-the-patookus shoveling to be done, and how dangerous the roads may be.

Deep sigh. Adulthood can be hella lame, sometimes.
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