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Tom Gordon's Blother

May 20, 2006

White Dwarf
I purely wish I could say I'd relied upon DVD freeze-frames, or consulted any other reference material for this dorky doodle. Unfortunately, Gary Gygax (or more precisely, his stable of deranged illustrators) beat out John Rhys-Davies by about three decades, in inculcating the economy-sized, quasi-Viking lumberjack archetype now echoed here. And The Fairest One Of Them All? Deep sigh. Let's just say if the hubbalicious raven-haired maiden had been a Real Wo-man and not a painted bit of Disney celluloid -- before too long she'd have to get herself a restraining order, to deflect the attentions of a certain hopelessly love-smitten five-year-old boy.



Also, let it be known throughout the land that JRD is Da Man. And I don't just mean for his portrayal of archeologist sidekicks, parallel-dimension hoppers, or throwable orc-clobbering midgets. From a couple years ago: read it and weep. I know I'm going to buy the man a Hollywood drink; as it's probable his oh-so-nuanced-and-right-thinking colleagues won't. But then, Davies didn't NEED a pretty face to land his part... which is far more than the guy who played Aragorn can say. And speaking of Mr. Incapable of Seeing Any Parallels Between Tolkien's Masterwork and Recent Current Events:

Oh, the irony (though not quite as ironic as if he'd been Svein the Fawstin-esque Pig Man)! Yes chillun, it's one of those lavish pulp-airbrushy character cards from "Shadowlord!" (exclamation point not optional). This was a somewhat obscure fantasy-themed (and "Krull" inspired? Prob'ly) boardgame yours truly played long, long ago with his brothers. As near as I can recollect, it involved your taking up the mantle as one of the masters of pre-periodic elements (fire, air, earth, water). Then you'd jump into your color-coded spaceship(?) and hop from planet to planet, enlisting worthy heroes, heroines and unlikely talking animal aliens to your noble cause: ridding the 'verse of a marauding gang of eeeeevil black-tokened Shadowlords.

For some reason, the other players also had the same exact objective, but the rules explicitly forbid them to do the obvious kick-butt coalition-forming thing. Presumably, endless debates still raged in the Galactic Union as to whether Fire Master was merely taking advantage of the so-called scare-quoted "threat" to unilaterally impose her arrogant pyrophiliac values and flame-broiled junk food upon the rest of the cosmology. Or whether the Shadowlords deserved strongly-worded written petitions (and revoked parking privileges) rather than military force in order to curtail their universal destruction ambitions.

IAE, I wonder who the card illustrator was? He/she sure did some damn fine work!
5 Comments:
Blogger Scott LeMien babbled...

OOH, and even better drawing, that looks awesome, Tom! I would love to see that thing get the full render treatment (circa 1989!)

5/25/2006 8:46 PM  

Blogger Scott LeMien babbled...

why can't I fargin use some kinda dang spell-check or sense-check to make sure my sentences make sense.. sigh.. this brain sux.

5/25/2006 8:54 PM  

Blogger Tom Gordon babbled...

Unfortunately, if I started rendering this piece now with my late-eighties Berol Prismacolor frozen-molasses 'workflow', it probably wouldn't be finished until Christmas.

5/26/2006 9:49 AM  

Blogger Scott LeMien babbled...

A man can dream, can't he? I STILL have mad lust for that runaway brontosaurus with the dwarf guy you did.

5/26/2006 3:51 PM  

Blogger Tom Gordon babbled...

Oh. You mean this sucker (which I totally HATED)? That was actually my 'second wave' of colored pencil crap, done at Pratt in 1994 with life-saving stick-form BerolPrisma and acrylic washes on largish blackboard.

Anything from 1989, OTOH, was pencil-form BP forcibly blended ("burnished?") together on Xerox paper. Their work area generally took up the size of a postage stamp, or less.

But their subject matter also leant heavily towards Snow White-complexioned gothy brunettes. So maybe that's where you got blinkered.

5/27/2006 11:57 PM  

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