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Tom Gordon

Tom Gordon's Blother

December 31, 2006

Olde School hand-coded HTML (yuck!) note to all: as of today and o'er the past couple of weeks, my Blogger account hasn't been functioning. Comments and entries can still be added, but for Ghu knows what reason, nothing's being uploaded here. Anyway, hopefully this situation should (read: better damned well) be rectified after the holidays. In the meantime, since I'm not keen on posting the final Escher Ripoff Christmas card art yet, please enjoy(?) a recent hastily scrawled gutter-minded jokey-sexist recognition of the impending New Year, instead:

And believe me, you'd very much rather download big-nippled zaftig goodness right now, than my highly acidic observations about fellow Graciously Apolitical co-celebrators over the season, and the tidbits of indisputable wisdom they'd all-too-freely dispensed (when not pointing and screaming Body Snatchers-style at household religious iconography, of course). Some notable examples:

"I think Democratic sweeps in the US Congress have fundamentally altered America at a quantum level. People just seem inherently happier now, the water and air tastes cleaner, and the entire national landscape just feels so much brighter than usual. Such is the wondrous healing power of a fifteen-cent minimum wage raise."

"Boy, it's warm outside! You, uh, seen that Al Gore documentary about global warming yet? It's great, I loved it! Did you know that by 2075 New York City's flooded streets will be clogged with thousands of bobbing stinking decomposing maggot-filled corpses bloated up like balloons from the heat, unless we do something now? Did you know that MASSIVE HIDEOUS BURNING DEATH is just around the corner for every single one of us, unless we do something now? Did you know..."

"Saddam Hussein was a kindly old man who'd never had anything against America and loved his own people dearly and never even HEARD of al Qaeda and was just a great, strong leader whose fatherly presence held his peaceful and prosperous nation together and now he's just another innocent victim of American aggression."

So, needless to say, my resolution for 2007 involves (among many other dubious objectives) seeking out and finding people I can hang around with in a social setting whose glib pronouncements won't make me want to kill myself/them/both.

Happy New Year!

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