Yep, I'm one of those damned Mac people -- you know, the people that the PC people hate? Sometimes you ask yourself, "Is it me?" but then you realize that they have to find some one (thing) to take out their frustrations on... and who better to attack than the epitome of excellence?

What they don't realize is that God uses Macintosh. Always has, always will. He's got too much to contend with, with people's sex lives to meddle in, creating and destroying whole worlds, etc., he doesn't have time to screw around editing a .ini file. And with Macintosh, he can spend more time resurrecting people instead of lost files. What the PC people don't realize is that in one of the Dead Sea Scrolls, it mentions the only way to salvation: to accept Macintosh in your heart and live your life the Macintosh way. Some people never learn.

You see, this whole forbidden apple thing is just a ruse. Bill Gates is the real Satan, trying to make Win 95 look like Heaven with all the clouds. But it isn't, don't be fooled by the false profits. There's fire under that pretty blue screen and it isn't because your P120 is burning, either!

Here's some Macintosh sites to get you started on your pathway to salvation:

Mac-Managers Home Page. One of St. Peter's favorites -- by leveraging the power of several other Macintosh saints, he can save time while he manages HATNet (Heaven AppleTalk Network).
Bungie Software. Ever wondered what happens to all those people who bungie jump and the cord snaps? Well, if they have accepted Macintosh, they're just fine. Sitting upstairs in clouds playing Marathon, one of the coolest games ever to be produced.
Apple Computer. Your standard support site. No confessional yet, but some great testemonials about what our Lord Savior has done for them.
Mac OS 8!. Although system 7 took 40 days and 40 nights to develop, System 8 is taking much longer. They are taking pairs of programs in two by two for alpha testing right now.
HotBits. Don't have time to read the Mac Bible addenda over and over? Check this site out, with constant terse updates to keep you up-to-date on the current Macintosh world.
Apple Software Updates. Apple constantly updates their software - just because you create software doesn't mean you let it sit, it must undergo evolution and constantly be improved. With eworld being cast from the heavens, an intense focus on the Internet has made software updates from beyond the 6-color Gates readily available.
Evangelist headquarters. Who's faster than Billy Graham and more over-whelming than Benny Hinn? Why, it's Guy Kawasaki in his Acura! Read forth, brethren, about the evangelism of our way and go forth to the masses and tell our saga.