Editing Sample 1

This test sample was provided by a publisher with no instructions, so I chose to keep the author's voice as intact as possible while aiming for clarity and avoiding repetition.

BEFORE

What is Wisdom and Intelligence?
By
An average Jim

Epilogue

sp;.....

...............What is Wisdom and Intelligence? Who is the judge of a person's wisdom and intelligence? If I remember correctly, only God has the right to judge. Why has Wisdom and Intelligence become like a social status? But this book isn't about religion, or politics for that matter. This book is about my life and my experiences. During this book I'll also give you my own feelings towards things in general. It will not only be filled with my story but my thoughts about those experiences. Wisdom and intelligence, in my own mind, has given me strength to become a better person. Listening to the discussions I've heard in my life, I see that everyone has there opinion of intelligence, and some don't believe that there are many different degrees of intelligence. Wisdom arguably can be the most important and sometimes is looked upon as intelligence.
....."What is wisdom and intelligence?!" I have always asked myself this same question since I was a sophomore in high school. But as I said before, who has the right to judge this question? Some of you are thinking, "Who cares!" Feeling that way is where it all starts, "apathy," which is arguable the biggest problem in our world today. Somewhere out there, someone knows you don't care, they feed on this, and afterwards they just make whatever rules they want to. These guys want you to have apathy, it give's those people more control over you. With one hand they will give you a peace of bread for free and with the other, they're taking more of whatever income you still have, or you could get up and work a little to get a whole loaf of bread. That's what apathy will get you. Then someone is telling you that you're an idiot because someone taught them to look down on people with no education. It all had to have trickled down from somewhere. Do you have wisdom and intelligence? Do you believe or even care what other people think of you? They're out there judging you right now just because, "you don't care." It can drive you crazy just trying to figure all this out. Bottom line is, shouldn't someone be able to answer this question? Well in my life it took a long time to even think to answer it for myself.
The answer will seem simple to some people. Even though you might think it seems simple, there are still some questions to how you feel about it all, like were your decision came from. Did you read about it? Do you really think we even know the answer? Should it even need to be asked? There are a lot of people that seem to think they know the answer. As you can see this can be quit puzzling. My life has been a constant battle trying to figure this out. It seemed my wisdom and intelligence was so important that they tested you all through school and later in life it makes all the difference in how far you can go. How far will this go, are you happy with just a peace of bread? What happens when they start controlling the way you think, or do they already? "Sounds communist or socialist huh?" Apathy doesn't sound so great when you sit and think about it a little. Me personally, I'd rather go work to have a whole laugh of bread. Let's see how these questions took hold of my life and made me who I am today. I hope that by my little stories and reasoning like my thoughts on apathy will help all of you.
.....Hello, my name is Jim. (James H. Kelley) My mother always called me Jimmy. As a child growing up I hated being called Jimmy. Now I let people know right away that only mom calls me Jimmy and just like most people I've met, it wasn't good when mom yelled, "James Howard Kelley!" That was never a good thing. We all remember having to deal with that. I didn't have a great life in the sense of being president, a star of some sort, inventing something, or anything of that nature. But I think that my story can help other people get through some of the hard times or a least give them ways to make life easier. Maybe you can answer the big question of wisdom and intelligence. This autobiography is mainly to be the father I never was to my kids. To hopefully give them the wisdom all parents should pass on to there children. So kids, this is for you guys. For those of you who are not my kids I'm sure your thinking; "Jim, why should I read about your life?"Well here's the deal. There are millions of self help books and seminars out there to help you out in life. But look at yourself still. Did they understand your individual plight? Where they able to get into your head and understand you? I'm not putting them down. Hell, I've never read one myself. People have daily situations in life that aren't the end of the world but can be difficult just the same. Now the wise and intelligent ones that wrote these books and had these seminars sometimes; no a lot of times, have not dealt with the average Joe's problems themselves and won't have the same answers as an average Joe. Or it could be a JIM. Now I don't mean to put those people down, some of these people are truly empathizing with you and are truly trying to help you. I would hope that people that do have problems and search for help don't judge them also. There are some of them people out there that feel they have the answers to your problems. Do I have the answers? No. But in the past I've been able to help people I've talked to that just need a little help with there situation. So I did my best to give them a since of basic fundamentals that make us human. If anything I know they felt better, may not always fix it, but they can now take a deep breathe and think clearer about there situation. We can always use a little help from our friends.
I've made plenty of bad decisions in my life. I hope that by telling my story to my kids I can help them be stronger to cope with everyday life. The simple things in life will always save you. Reading this material will take you back to a lot of your own memories. Hopefully it will make things clearer with your own memories and give YOU back to the basics of YOU. In a since give you back to yourself and make you strong. Maybe, like other people before our time, I can take you back to look at our ancestors. Think back to the pioneers and remember there so called struggles in every day life. Seems so terrible to us now but back then it was just life. They didn't have the stresses that we all have now. If I remember correctly they didn't have TV, cell phones, or the internet. They dealt with the fundamentals of live from the teachings of there parents. I hope to give you back your roots and help you to be strong. If you have the strength of yourself maybe the stress of things will seem silly. This is all I can offer my kids and maybe help a few of you as we go. As I tell my story I'll delve more into that question that haunts me to this day. "What is wisdom and intelligence?"

AFTER

An Average Jim Asks, "What are wisdom and intelligence?"
Jim Kelley

Preface

My mother always called me Jimmy, and just like most people I've met, it wasn't good when mom yelled your full name-"James Howard Kelley!" So I grew up preferring "Jim." I didn't have a great life in the sense of being president, a star of some sort, inventing something, or anything of that nature. But I think my story can help other people get through some of the hard times, or a least give them ways to make life easier.
.....This autobiography is meant to make up for the father I never was to my kids, to hopefully give them some of the wisdom all parents should pass on to their children. (So kids, this is for you!) I've made plenty of bad decisions in my life. Reading this material should bring back old memories and hopefully make things clearer to them. I want to give them back a part of themselves. By telling my story, I hope I can help my kids to be stronger and cope better with everyday life.
.....For those of you who are not my kids, you might be wondering why you should read this. Well, here's the deal. There are millions of self-help books and seminars out there. But how well do they understand you and your situation? I'm not putting them down. Hell, I've never read one. I'm sure some of those writers and seminar people are truly empathizing with you and trying to help you. I'm just suggesting they probably haven't dealt with the problems of an average Joe…or an average Jim.
.....People have daily situations that aren't the end of the world but can be difficult just the same. These self-help writers seem to think they have the answers to all of your problems. I don't see how they can if they can't even relate to you. Do I have the answers? No. But in the past I've been able to help people in bad situations by doing my best to give them a sense of the fundamentals that make us human. It may not have solved all of their problems, but I know they felt better. Afterward, they could take a deep breath and think clearer about their situations. We can always use a little help from our friends.
.....The simple things in life will always save you. Think back to the pioneers. Their everyday struggles seem so terrible to us now, but back then it was just life. They didn't have the stresses we do-no TV, cell phones, or Internet. They dealt with the fundamentals of life using the teachings of their parents. I hope to give you back your roots. If you have the strength and awareness that come from being connected to your roots, perhaps it will put your troubles into perspective. This is what I'm offering as I tell my story and delve into the questions that haunts me to this day…

(Consider ending the preface here and incorporating the rest into the body of the text.)

.....What are wisdom and intelligence? I've asked myself this question since I was a sophomore in high school. Who is the judge of a person's wisdom and intelligence? If I remember correctly, only God has the right to judge. Why have wisdom and intelligence become the measurements of social status? Although I try to tackle these questions, this book isn't about religion or sociology-it's about my thoughts and feelings concerning my experiences and life in general. Wisdom and intelligence have given me the strength to become a better person.
.....Do you have wisdom and intelligence? Do you believe or even care what other people think of you? There are people judging you right now just because you don't care enough to judge yourself. They will tell you you're an idiot because you have less education than they do. I don't think these people are born this way but are taught to look down on others. It all had to have trickled down from somewhere, but it can drive you crazy just trying to figure all this out. Shouldn't someone be able to answer this question? It took me a long time to even think about trying to answer it for myself.
.....The answer will seem simple to some people, but there are still the questions of how you feel about it all and where your decision came from. Were you influenced by something you read? Do you really think we even know the answer? Should it even need to be asked? The whole thing can be quite puzzling. My life has been a constant battle trying to figure it out. Based on a lifetime of discussions, it seems everyone has their own opinion of what makes up intelligence, and some don't believe there are many different degrees of intelligence. Wisdom is sometimes looked upon as intelligence and is arguably more important.
.....Who has the right to judge your wisdom and intelligence? Some may think, "Who cares?" Having that attitude is how it all starts. Apathy is arguably the biggest problem in our world today. Somewhere out there, someone knows you don't care. They feed on this, using that apathy to make whatever rules they choose to give them more control over you. With one hand they give you a piece of bread for free, and with the other they take more of your income. Instead of falling into this trap, you could get up and work a little to get a whole loaf of bread.
.....No matter what you think about your own intelligence and wisdom, there are a lot of people who seem to think they know how to measure them in you. These attributes are deemed so important that you are tested throughout school, and later in life they can make all the difference in the success of your career or even having a career.
.....How far does it all go? Are you happy with just a piece of bread? What happens when they start controlling the way you think? Do they already? Apathy doesn't sound so great when you sit and think about it a little. Personally, I'd rather work to have a whole loaf of bread. Let's see how these questions took hold of my life and made me who I am today. I hope that by my stories and reasoning will help all of you.

RESUME