> In article <firstname.lastname@example.org>, "Dr. says...
> >You've seen the bumper stickers "First Hillary, then Jennifer, Now Us".
> >We must rise up and reclaim that which is rightfully ours; the silken
> >gravy boats of America.
> Damn bumper stickers getting folks all Politically active an stuff. DAMN!
I haven't been the same since I saw my first "Forget, Hell!" tag. Oh, a
picture's worth a thousand words, but I'm not cutting and pasting
"Forget, Hell" 500 times. You know, the dumpy li'l feller with the
rebel flag...nevermind. But let me tell you I don't forget much since I
first saw that one! And the get your (picture of a heart) in Dixie or
get your (picture of a mule) out bumper sticker. Got my heart in dixie
on more than one occasion. And as for Russia Suckin', well, as the
apostle Paul said about "Speaking those things that are not as though
they were" may have actually made it suck! Hell, they could've been
having a real "Communist Party" back behind that big ol' iron curtain,
but the knee-jerk 'liberals' wanted to keep it a secret from us as much
as the right wingers did. We brought the Berlin Wall down, and they
were pissed 'cause we didn't bring our own damn liqour. The Wall wasn't
to keep people in, it really *was* to keep us out. All that grain we
were sending the Soviets back in the 80's was going straight into making
some of the most powerful moonshine that has ever been mass-produced!
Ever wonder why their technology, their TV, their women, just didn't
seem up to our American standards? WAKE THE HELL UP, PEOPLE. SOMEONE
IS MAKING YOUR STANDARDS FOR YOU, AND THEY AREN'T TAKING YOU INTO
CONSIDERATION! I'm absolutely positive that after some "Cold War and
Cola", they could not have cared less whether the TV sucked, the women
only looked good at closing time, and the few of them that *had* what
they *thought* were microwaves actually just had toaster ovens that were
the size of most people's apartments sportin' a sticker with a few
Japanese-looking characters hand-written on it. And they were damn
happy to get it! Because they were just damn happy to live in the
*real* land of the free and the home of the ladies' night that lasts all
winter. The "Party Line" started at the Kremlin and wound up at
Breznev's house. But our "Free" amerikan media told us these were bread
lines, gas lines, toilet paper lines. OUR MEDIA (as if you didn't know)
LIED TO US YET AGAIN! And as a result we cowered in fear for
generations, casting a leary eye on our neighbors, who only wanted us to
know that the world is BYOB. And now we've brought our "Quality
Control" procedures to them. Our mass marketing. Our fried chicken.
Our Playboy magazine. Our Sitcoms. Our prefabricated housing. Our
prestwood furniture with simulated woodgrain finish. Our bags of potato
chips that are only half full. They hate us now. Yeah, the next world
war will *not* be about oil, or who has the nukes: it's gonna be about
the laws that our "advisors" suggest to the beuraucrats who *really*
make the calls. It's not just mind control for profit, either! There
are deeper, stranger reasons, that I'm not exactly SURE what they mean!
You want examples? THIS IS ALL *REAL*, PEOPLE! A few quotes from the
"all citizens will not be without a cellular phone, under penalty of
not less than 5 years incarceration."
"any citizen caught with their cellular phone with the batteries not up
to full charge is subject to fines and incareration for up to 6 months
"all males from the ages of 14 to 18 must register for selective
marketing tests lottery. All registered males will be marked by the
sign of the holy Nike "Swoosh" on the palm of their right hand, or on
their forehead if no right hand is available."
"all body piercing establishments will be licensed to practice in their
local civic office. In order to maintain health standards for the
benefit of all, any (micro-tracking device) rings or studs used in said
peircings must be aquired from the office of central government under
threat of losing licensure. Operating without a license can lead to up
to 45 years incarceration per offence (peircing service provided)."
"it will be unlawful to buy or sell a hamburger that does not have some
sort of 'secret sauce'. Special variance permits are required to
deviate from the standard 'Thousand Island' formula."
THIS IS REAL, PEOPLE. E-mail me if you want full text of the 72
recommendations that my friend told me about. The CON is NOT PLAYING
GAMES! And it won't be long before they start WWIII because of it! And
THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMN ONE WAY OR THE OTHER! They just want us to buy
enough to fall into line. IT'S LIKE WE'RE PAYING THEM TO CONTROL US!
And that's not necessarily a *bad* thing. Paying someone to control
your destiny for you would actually be quite convenient! To know that
you have no control, no say in the matter, hell, you could live and die
and not have to worry about it, never even having to think. But the
question I put to you now is: IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Or would
you rather have a real live cognative REASON why you don't have to worry
about it? That goes along with "You'll pay to know what you REALLY
think". Don't let them take the answers that you can buy (cheap!) and
replace them with the mind numbing goods and services that they'll hype
up and sell to you, things that it turns out that you could probably
make or do better your own damn self.
I hope this clears everything up. And I DO mean EVERYTHING.
Oh yeah, there's more message....
> >We don't have to spank our collective monkey
> He's RIGHT, Lets spank Crea'mo's monkey for him instead!
THAT'S ON THE LIST! Is the High Epoptilator yanking the "pecker" of the
advisory council? Is he a part of the conspiracy behind the
conspiracy? Or is HE in fact in bed and getting the proverbial
reach-around from this council or whoever controls them? Double agent?
Triple agent? Do we just trust him, blindly!!?? Or do we just spank
> >until judgement day! Do it for Yourself! Do it for America! Do it for Big
> >Jim and the Twins!
> Do "it" TO yourself, Do "it" to America, Do "it" WITH Big Jim and the Twins!!
> THATS TEARS IT! I'M-A FUCKIN 'EM!!!!!