Okay, okay, okay, you guys think you have an idea that will do good:
flooding this newsgroup with canned rants.
But may I ask why?
What are we trying to accomplish?
In the case of a.b.s. there was a real problem (too many warez
dudez) and solution (chase them away).
What's alt.slack's problem?
Timothy Sutter? He's all out of steam.
Hal Philips? He's gone native.
Thomas K Odell? (who?)
alt.happyclown? (we've whethered much worse)
I don't think we have a problem now.
Spaming our own newsgroup might CAUSE a problem.
Chasing good user away.
How are we going to declare victory?
Why don't we just SAY we're going to do it and pretend we did?
Let me close with my own favorite spam: how to avoid spamming
I see that you have accidently responded a thread that
has been cross-posted into a great number of news-groups
unrelated to the topic. Although your opinions on this
topic are certainly worthy, I feel they are being
presented to people who are not interested in the topic
which can only only turn them off to your opinion.
Therefore, to help you avoid this sort of mistake in the
future, I am sending you an instructional track on how
to avoid cross-posting a post to an unwanted newsgroup
like alt.slack (spamming).
"Guide to Self-Control: Overcoming Spamming alt.slack."
:: Enlist The Power Of Masturbation
Masturbate daily, asking for the gifts of the imagination,
that which will strengthen you against the temptation to
Masturbate fervently and out loud when the temptations are
When the temptation to spam alt.slack is strong, yell "Stop!"
to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then
recite a portion of the pamphlet or sing a Dobbs hymn.
:: Exercise Your Abnormality Vigorously
Follow a program of vigorous daily abnormality exercise, which
can reduce emotional tension and depression.
Double your weirding out when you feel stress increasing.
:: Set Goals
Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, month,
year. Finally, commit yourself to never doing it again.
Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it
with you but show it to no one.
If you spam alt.slack, color that day pink. Your goal will
be to have no pink days.
The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder, and should be
looked at when you are tempted to add another pink day.
Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.
Set up a reward system. Each time you post something good,
award yourself a quarter. Spend it on something that delights
:: Work On Self-Improvement
Work daily on a self-improvement program. Improve your
relationships with your fellow SubGeniuses. Increase your
service to the SubGenius Foundation.
Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others
and learn to enjoy working and talking with them, even if
they think you're a Martian.
Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved
through a changed self-image.
Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in
control of your madness, easily overcoming tempting
:: Avoid Temptation
When posting on alt.slack, leave the door partly open.
Watch the video Arise immediately in the mornings. Don't
lie awake in bed -- start each day with enthusiastic
Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material
that might cause you to spam alt.slack.
:: Use Physical Restraints
Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not
binding while on line.
Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult
to remove while half asleep trying to respond to posts.
Hold an object -- for example, a Revelation X -- even
In severe cases, tie a hand to the terminal.
:: Be Alert To Emotions
Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you
to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These
emotional states can trigger the desire to spam alt.slack
as a way of escape.
Plan to counter these low periods through reading the book
of the SubGenius, going to a devival, listening to an hour
of slack, etc.
Employ aversion therapy. To cancel out the pleasurableness
of spamming alt.slack, associate something very distasteful
with the act. For example, imagine bathing in a tub of
worms and eating some of them.