Previously, Berin Kinsman at L'Avventura Games wrote:
In a recent bit of private correspondance with a fellow alt.slacker, I
came to an odd realization: I genuinely have NO problems with anyone here
on this little newsgroup known as alt.slack, never had, hopefully never
WILL. Through all of this sniping, through all the flame wars, NO ONE has
managed to piss me off to the point that I wanted to disembowel them with
a fudg'icle stick and mount their entrails on my wall. In the few months
I've been posting here, the worst reception I've gotten was to be
pointedly ignored.
This is particularly odd, because in "real life", I'm the most violently
intolerant, spitefully impatient, and curmudgeonly misanthrope you'd never
want to meet. You've read my rants, you should have a clue by now. If it
weren't for the fact that I'd compromise the safety of myself and other
yetisyny near me, I'd sorely love to drop the veil of schizophreniatrics,
reveal the full glory of my 7'6" yeti self to the world, and start
indiscriminately crushing into gristle the skulls of the little humans
that swarm around me like gnats on a muggy day in August.
Part of it is that this is MY refuge; I come here to get away from the
petty annoyances of puny merehumans and fucking pinkboys. I have no desire
to shit where I eat, the make my little nest of Slack an unclean place, so
I don't flame needlessly. And face it, the pinkest of posters, the most
heinous of "Bobbies", is still a WHOLE lot easier to take than the average
slope-brow'd piece of discount furniture walking around on the streets.
ALL of the little critters here on alt.slack serve a purpose OTHER than
getting in MY Bobdamned way, causing traffic jams on MY highway, sneezing
my MY salad bars, chewing on MY slippers, or polluting my airwaves with
ADULT CONTEMPORARY LIGHT ROCK. Even if the only real reason they're here
is to have their souls SUCKED OUT for FUEL on X-Day so that the rest of us
can get the fuck outta here, they have the WORD O' "BOB" in 'em, Dobb
bless their wee pink heinies. Our highest law is "FUCK 'EM if they CAN'T
TAKE A JOKE", but even the most annoying maggot in our rotten little slice
o' the cyberspace pot roast GETS the joke to a certain degree, even if
most of 'em don't TELL it very well or can't grasp the cosmic SCOPE of it
all. The might not KNOW the SKOR, but they can graps what a SKOR IS, or
might be, and have a relative understanding of how it fits into their
lives.
"But Uncle Bear", I hear you saying, "even chimps can learn to
rollerskate. My dog can be taugh to whiz outside, and parrots can be
trained to repeat inane catch-phrases. None of THEM really understands
what they're doing." And that, my babies, is EXACTLY my point, triply
underscored and highlighted with A BIG FAT MARKER!!! I crack the FUCK up
every time I see my dog roll over in hopes of getting a treat. I LAUGH OUT
LOUD whenever a Scientologist or Televangeslist opens his fucking MOUTH to
spout rhetoric. And I almost MAKE MYSELF SICK with DELIGHT when "Bobbies"
work so hard to prove their "Subgenius-ness" by quoting doctrine or
getting confrontational. Because it only shows that we ARE superior. They
don't see that there's no difference whatsoever between themselves and any
other trained animal. They can only repeat what they've been taught, and
have no capacity for original or creative though. They SO want to either
impress us and let them join us, or try to prove that THEY are RIGHT and
WE are WRONG so that they can somehow feel superior to us, but in the end,
they're still trained animals, performing happy tricks for our amusement.
So, as superior beings, we can be gracious. We can be polite. We can make
pets of them, and care for them. Because they can be trained to hate the
CON, too. They can contribute to the war against the CON. And the enemy of
my enemy is my friend.
PRABOB!
-Rev. B.E.M. Kinsman, "your beloved Uncle Bear"
--
Berin Kinsman torque@indirect.com
Publisher, L'Avventura Games
http://www.indirect.com/www/torque/lagames.htm