Previously, Dennis McClain-Furmanski at InfiNet wrote:

Have you killed your "Bob" today?

Have you pulled the wool AAALLLLLL the way down?

Have you kicked up your heels and kicked OFF the head of the Savings

and Loan Savior and Lord?

 

As a recent repentant post-Subgenius posted here, you have to KILL

"Bob" in order to find your safety, your sanity, your very soul.

"Bob" is the primary Short Duration Personal Savior for a reason.

That reason is, that YOU should fill in the rest of the time.

"Bob" doesn't mind selling you a boost once in a while. But if you

go hanging on him like a September stickle-burr, you're going to

bend the luck plane and SLIDE OFF. And "Bob" won't mind that either,

because Yeti like you are cheaper than a dime a dozen, you're $30

bucks a shot in HIS pocket.

 

Children, "Bob" WANTS you to kill him. It's in the contract. Because

if you don't kill him EVERY DAY, sooner or later your brain is going

to backfire and you're going to make up for lost time by nailing him

to a tree like that OTHER savior. You CAN'T USE THEM TOO LONG or else you

USE THEM UP.

 

Why aren't YOU your shordurpersav? Why aren't you your longdurpersav?

If you go hiding in the shade of the Pipe, you ain't gonna get RIPE,

and "Bob" can't buy off the X-ists with a bunch of green souls.

No, he needs HELLFIRE BREATHERS of souls, he needs HOT DAMN YETI of

souls, he needs CHOKED DOWN FULL BORE SUPERNOVAE of souls, he needs

GAMMA RAY ANTI MATTER ANHILIATORS of souls, he needs...

 

He needs YOU to get off your ass and BE what your Yeti genes demand

of you, your own marchin' army of Slack seeking warriors.

"Bob" can only take you so far, children. He's heading in directions

that you can't imagine and wouldn't want to know about if you could.

So PRAISE "BOB" and OFF WITH HIS HEAD, "BOB" IS DEAD, LONG LIVE "BOB".

Let us sing.

[Behind the Pipe]

(from BEHIND BLUE EYES - The Who)

Em G D

No one know what it's like to know what ails Man,

C A

like the salesman, behind the pipe.

Em G D

No one knows what it's like to cut the big deals

C A

with the big wheels, of the X-ist type.

[CHORUS

C D G

But his plans, they aren't as spotty,

C D E

as his portrait seems to be.

Bm C

He is dealing, rough and ready,

D A

for the Yeti, to set us free.]

No one knows why the CON keeps on stealing,

all our Slack. I want mine back!

No one knows why "Bob" was chosen

to keep the End Times, right on track.

[Repeat CHORUS]

D Bm A E

Grab a pink's head, crack it open

Bm G D

watch the broken dreams leak out.

Bm A E

They've got answers but no questions,

Bm A E

afraid to ask what life's about.

Please Dobbs, come and save me

all white paper and black ink.

Please get me on the saucers,

save me from the deadly pink.

No one know what it's like to know what ails Man,

like the salesman, behind the pipe.

Words to kill "Bob" by, children.

Let's make sure we get him this time but good.

And tomorrow, and tomorrow, and until the End Time

when you MIGHT just get it right.

 

Elect a SubGenius for Last President of the United States

To vote, send $1 to: PO Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214

For me: "SubPresident DynaSoar"; against me: "Kill Dynasoar"

Vote early, vote often, vote for or against anyone you want.

--

Doktor DynaSoar Iridium -- dynasor@infi.net -- Punctuator of Evolution

Previously, NENSLO at Teleport - Portland's Public Access (503) 220-1016 wrote: