>|Dear Lord, love me today and forever, bless my soul and conscience

>|daily, agree with all of my decisions, punish my enemies until I am

>|satisfied, give me huge amounts of money, promise to help me always

>|win, look the other way when I cheat, justify my excuses and believe

>|all my lies, obey my wishes, and reserve the most luxurious part of

>|heaven just for me. I will be thankful as long as you do what I say.




James Eldridge Wood (wood3rd@gladstone.uoregon.edu) wrote:

: Hey dharmabum; Where in the heck did you find this thing?!?! What kind

: of spiritual principles are these? I have learned that when I pray for

: God's Will, I generally get the goodness and peace that He, apparently,

: wants for all of us when I try honestly to follow that will...but this,

: whoa! Now I am pretty sure that you posted this with a humorous intent;

: however, remember that God has a pretty good sense of humor, too. You

: know that if you pray for patience,you'll get plenty of opportunity to

: practice it! Jim Wood


These are the principles of the Church of the Subgenius, an obscure

apocalyptic religious cult that is devoted to attaining superiority through

the Path of Least Resistance. Their belief is that the important part of

salvation is not to have one's transgressions forgiven, but excused, and

the DIVINE EXCUSE gives them the freedom to conduct activities that would

not otherwise receive societal approval.



Dave (not David) Lynch/(.)(.)/Eligible Mutant Bachelor Uebergeek at large