> /}> I think somebody should

> /}> create an alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.hostile-takeovers.

> /}

> /}I'd subscribe to this newsgroup.

> /

> /I'd TAKE IT OVER. FOR THE GLORY OF "Bob"! YIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI

>

> Wait a minit. I thought that was sorta like, contrary, to the

> philosophy of slack...

Well, if you're talking "slack", little "s", like those formerly-trendy

Seattle kids, you're right. But that's not Slack, big "s" because it's

far bigger than lifestyles that can be packaged and sold. The Church

of the SubGenius has been preaching on the concept of Slack for many

years now, since long before the first barely-post-pubescent teen tried

growing a ratty goatee and singing about how his life sucks.

So what is Slack? How do you pursue it? That's entirely YOUR CALL.

For me, Slack is farting around on the Internet or writing a really

cool program. For you, Slack might be riding horses or hiking or

even vegging out on the couch. The point is, it's YOUR call. As

MegaLiz says, "Follow your bliss". That's the simplest instruction

for Slack-achieval yet devised.

One key trait of the Conspiracy -- not a clandestine boardroom sort of

thang, but the worldwide subconscious drive for herd behavior -- is that

it can't understand other forms of Slack. The Con's Slakk(tm) product

advertises itself as one-size-fits-all, but anyone who's experienced the

real thing knows there's simply no comparison. To wit: watching a

football game and drinking [insert brand name beer] may bring the

highest Slack for a very few people, but it won't for the vast majority

on this planet. And yet, this "lifestyle" is pushed constantly.

One of the Con's most insidious anti-Slack memes is the concept of

"cool". The word has never been nailed down to a strict definition,

but a key element of coolness is Sneering. Sneer at your folks for

bowling. Sneer at Old Mr. Pinkerton for still dancing around his

living room to Lawrence Welk music. The sick truth is, mom 'n' dad 'n'

OMP might well be experiencing truest Slack, but the drive to be "cool"

prevents a person from seeing that and from finding that one thing that

truly excites. Sneer is, quite arguably, the true opposite number to

Slack: it gets in the way of EVERYONE'S Slack.

Of course, it could be that your parents are so unimaginative, so DEAD,

that they can't CONCEIVE of anything better to do than go bowling. It's

possible. But then again, that's really none of your business, is it?

Why are you spending so much time worrying about them, when you could be

hot on the trail of your own Slack? Slack is an elusive beast, yes, but

there's no better motivating force than one's own Slack. Go out there

and find it, it's out there, you just have to claim it.

Oh, and in answer to your question: Dyna finds Slack in appropriating

newsgroups. Sounds pretty lame to you? Well, I say you should *marvel*

at Dyna for being able to get Slack out of it. He's a man to study.