i was eating a can of fruit cocktail today when i realized that there

werent any of those little red cherries in it...

...GOD DAMN THE CONSPIRACY!!!

....Not only has the CON robbed us of our "obvious, easy to get" slack,

but they have painstakingly robbed us of even the most finite amounts of

slack, going as far as to steal my favorite thing, those little red

cherries, right out of the fucking can while I was asleep at night!

Now, I could have settled for the false slack and enjoyed those little

green grapes, which are my SECOND favorite thing in the fruit cocktail

mix, but who wants to settle for those false slack green grapes when you

can have the TRUE SLACK RED CHERRIES?!? Besides, they may have put some

kind of DNA altering poison in the other fruits that would have made me

grow tits or something (which wouldn't really be that bad, but it would

give me false slack and keep me from fighting the CON because I'd be too

busy playing with my tits)!

As of this day, I , irREVEREND CHUCK KEY, PO BOX 445, BATH, SC 29816 plan

to actually get up off of my ass and do something about this!! I'm not

sure what as of yet, I haven't felt like thinking, but I AM up off of my

ass and I'm ready to take some names! The CON is gonna pay IN SPADES!

"CULTURAL LEVERAGE THROUGH ART TERRORISM AND SLACK"

....and not any of that false green grape shit that they like to make us

think is slack, either!

irREVEREND CHUCK KEY ( ! ! )

of the

SECRET ORDER OF ( ! ! )

for more information, send a SASE to:

CHUCK KEY attn:( ! ! )

PO BOX 445

BATH, SC

29816

for a small $ donation you will receive some of our religious propaganda,

and possibly a few other things....

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23 PRAISE BOB

long fuck the rotting messiah!

BRING DOWN THE CONSPIRACY

FUCK THE PINKS