fangbasher@aol.com (FANGBASHER) wrote:

 

> Perhaps, with advancement in new

>brain imaging techniques, our understanding will become a bit clearer and

>we may have some more answers.

I have a theory.

Children have tiny little heads. They learn fast, but can't

learn too much, or their little skulls start to creak and

shudder, and sometimes thoughts and ideas just leak

right out their little ears. They may seem retarded,

but they're just small. Proper feeding, exercise,

fresh air, sunlight, sleep, and above all, time, will

remedy the situation. If you buy your child a computer,

be sure and contact a medical supply house and get

them an extra skull, or they'll get headaches.

My theory is very scientistic, so I am right.

Thank you for your blind worship of my powerful mutant brain.

 

 

snow shoes. that's what I think. snowshoes.

DID I WIN? HUH? WUDD I WIN???

OTHER HEADERS TO PROTECT FELLOW WACKOS:

POOT: fart related material

LOOP: breakfast cereal related post

WAX : wax lips, wax fruit, and other wax oriented obsession

SHRINK: small size scale dellusions

GIANT : large size scale dellusions

ROSEBUD: Charles Foster Kane Syndrom post

FIREPOOT: Pyroflatulation questions/comments

PCSMARM: Smarmy pc crap

SHAME: a post likely to make you feel guilty or shameful

GRUNT: sweaty, lusty, sexy, seunsual, and all around arousing

GREEP: evil, smutty, nasty, dirty sexual perspectives

SMOOB: mysterious substances

UH-OH: the seriously WEIRD shit that left physical evidence that can't

be real but IS

PARANOID: this message is out GIT ya!

NYMPHO: this e-mail address is forged

FEZ: Shriner related. May also involve little cars and crop circles.

PEZ: Magic chalky neckbone candy message

POOTSMARM: obsequious, fawning, apologetic fart related message

CLARK: involving Dick Clark's VAMPIRE CULT

SNOWSHOES: none of your damn business, ya FREAK!

FREAK: could I interest you in a pair of snowshoes?

PSSST: attempts to sell various letters.

VANNA: attempts to buy various letters.

SUTTER: bathroom humor and/or disorder

MEOW: the international symbol of FRESHNESS!

UNSTABLE: can't find my horsie

SCHIZO: misunderstood genius

BEAN: caffine induced psychotic outpouring

AGOR: a wide open post

CLAUS: a tiny cramped little post

PEE: I had to go pee and forgot what I was gonna type.

SPORE: secret coded message intended to intimidate hostile aliens

PONE: mystic wards embeded to protect you

ICEKNIFE: things that might make sense some day, if you have a wok

WHY IS THE GOD OF CRAZY PIPLES HELPING YOU?

Because YOU are the center of my UNIVERSE, and *I* am here to HELP

*YOU*!!!

<SMOOTCH>

gubba gubba woo woo, gubba woo woo!

gubba gubba woo woo, gubba woo woo!

gubba gubba woo woo, gubba woo woo!

gubba gubba woo woo, gubba woo woo!

EVERY SINGLE BODY JOIN IN AND SING ALONG!!!

anon-15188@anon.twwells.com (Quercus) wrote:

>x-no-archive: yes

>Nobody can see I have this illness.

>Still I feel ashamed because of this disease.

>I don't like to talk about it with strangers.

>I feel stigmatized by our society.

>I don't want to explain why I am on benefit.

>People just don't understand it.

>It's difficult sometimes....

>Quercus.

THINGS TO TELL THEM:

1.I am JESUS. Shhhh. It's a secret.

2.I'm a contract killer for our goverment. You shouldn't have asked.

3.Satyrisis... I get three day erections.

4.I was the prototype for a military war-clone, but I'm retired.

5.I can't spell hula-butt.

6.I won a special lottery.

7.Narcolepsy (then fake passing out).

8.I'm on the alien abductee compensation program.

9.Origami (this is a good all-purpose answer for most questions)

10.Compulsive Bunny Hopper. I have to Hokey-Pokey 3 times a day just

to stop!

11.Crabs. Lobsters. Shrimps. All KINDA seafood.

12.I have Poultish Disorder. Wanna buy a dozen eggs?

13.You'll never find out MY secret identiy. It's essential for super

heros never to reveal our secret identity.

14.Same reason as you... I'm fuckin' STOOPID!

15.I mutate without warning.

16.Because I can FLY, and they're JEALOUS, YEAH! So are YOU!

17.I have that memory thingie. Huh? Sorry, what was the question?

18.Part of the settlement agreement. I'm not allowed to discuss it.

19.Compulsive Coolness. Sometime I get all... cool. It's kinda.. cool!

20.Lycanthropy. I'm a Werewolf.

Need more? Just sing out, tra-la!

ALWAYS PLEASED TO BE OF SERVICE, YUP YUP YUP!