"Bob" dropped Connie off at the grocery store. "It's such a nice day, I'll just wait
outside for you." A bus limped in to the lot, and thirty-six young girls from the
Christian Acadeny got out to stretch while the driver phoned the Academy to inform
them of the flat tire. Help was on the way. "Bob" smiled.
"Hi, fellow Xians," said "Bob". "Now, don't misunderstand...I know what kind of
girls get sent to Xian Academy: The FUN Kind. I know as well as you that they don't
let you have treats very often, or teach you anything that will be useful when you
escape. But you all seem to have some free time here. I'll tell you what, let me
teach you a technique that Connie showed me, one that you can use at school AND teach
to future loved ones. It's called "The Frozen Delight."
Before you know it, "Bob" directed those girls to the line of shopping carts, and
with each girl piloting a cart he sent them into the neighborhood. "Hi, I'm from the
Christian Academy and we're collecting old cola bottles to raise money..." said each
of the uniformed beauties. Ten minutes later, they were back in the lot. Each
household just happened to have two cases of empties that they were glad to donate.
Several had expressed suprise that they were able to help, as they NEVER touched cola
usually, but just that week a birthday party, campout, or get-together was held and
they just happened to have the empties.
The empties were Redeemed, and "Bob" sent one of the girls into the store to buy the
ice cream. Six boxes. And the "lesson" began.
The driver of the bus looked up as the first girl boarded. He noticed her glassy eyes
and her smile. The oder of...of...vanilla? Several more came in smiling and exhausted
to sit quietly, some falling directly to sleep. When the bus was half full, the
soft moaning and snoring and quiet contentedness was unlike anything he had ever seen
on a field trip bus. He asked the next girl what was going on. "Ohhhh, he's soooo...
Ohhh, it was just...Ohhh," was her reply as she barely made it into a seat before
falling into deep sleep.
Some minutes later, "Bob" was instructing the last girl. "That's right, get that
tongue nice and cold. MMMMMMNNN, Good! Good! Good! Now, I'll do you," as his head
disappeared into the ice cream box. The girl received her Frozen Delight. As he
finished, he saw the Sheriff's car pull into the lot and up to the bus. "Better go
back, and take the rest of this ice cream to share between you," "Bob" said, but the
girl was so dazed and introspective that she stumbled off without the leftovers.
Connie approached the waiting car, vaguely aware of the conversation between the
Sheriff and the excited bus driver while she loaded the groceries. As "Bob" drove
off, she handed him the receipt. "Bob" emptied his pocket into her outstretched hand.
Exactly the full amount.
Rev. Random the Other
"we all scream for ice cream...."