Archival Forbidden

Previously, Peter Hipwell at HCRC/Centre for Cognitive Science, University of

Edinburgh wrote:

The gratest PONK artisette yet EVER I AM, FAMERDYLAN CANCHUNKS, anbd

just freshly retorned from a METEING with J.R. "BOOB" DOOBS, LEVIS

PRESLENT, DOLLY PRANTON, FRANK SINISTRA, JIMMY SPANDEX, JANIS JOBLOB,

STINGE, DAVID BLOOIE, and JOHN MITCHELL JARR! All bigg dicks in the

woerld of SHOWBIS, in case you were unawere, idioit. YOU mite think

this woud be a borring meteing for many of those poeple are all very

ded and many of the othres are similer in behavouier to as if they

were but that woud just SHOWE how IGNORANT you are of there backstag

manner, very difrent to the pubblic fase they show! I, ARMRADILO

FUCKNUTS, know MUCH BETER THAN YOU AND YOU SHOUD REELIZE IT BY

NOWE. The hole thing was CHOKE-FULL of FRENZIED NUTS but none as

OUTARGEOUSLIE beyond the paile in all mattres of NUTLIOUSNESS as MY

SLEF wich was much ADMREIRED.

The upshot of the METEING will make you situp so have a CHARE READY

for we NOWE have a PONK GROPE togethre called "Musicale Asskikers"

wich is of the servile baba shop stile, a newly-invernted subfrom of

PONK (we were amlsot called "Fortey Theives" like unto Ali Baba, which

is a jocking pun that was all my idea but CREATIVE COOPREACTION

required some NOT-WIREDNESSES on my prat, a strane on my glands and

the resluts off wich you can see billow) and with my owne VOCILS and

VERY LOUD ELECTRIC ZITHERS in it, sure to be a ETRENAL SUCCISE in the

fermament of STARDOMHOOD with its novell plonking ponking soundes.

You wile want to know an alecdote about the METEING, SLURPINGES as

you-all BORINGE OBVIOURS HUMEANS do for GOSIP about BIG-TIME

PRESONALITIES and specialy the DULLERD "BOOB". "Boob" he saies to ME

that a good STAG ACT woud be for ARMAHDINNER FUCKNUTTO to KILL "Boob"

durine the finale of the acte wher we hammondize together in a

rendition of an olde clasic Berk Bacharacher song wich I cant remembre

the naim of and I, AYNRANDILLO FLUNKLUGS, took a swige of the

fresh-open Jac Daneels (finishing the bottel) and a ARMADILLO-SIZED

snot of HIGRADED CORECAINE UP THE NORSTILS and gobiled up lodes of my

specil oddballe mix of L.D.S., AMFETTERMEANS, VIM, and DESINGER DRUGS

made up in my secrit mind-altreing labratory by slaveing GENERTICALLY

ALTERED BADGIRS (that is missplet from BADGRE to indicate the GENERTIC

ALTRATION, its like a clever crypticgraphic cod) and wile I, got SIX

BLOEJOBS and a TOWSUCK frfom flustred gropies I saies to "Boob" that

HE ourt to trie and brak his mould ands that HE had done that stupide

shite a milloin times befroe with his pathritically NOMRIL SMUGENIOUS

GROPE and just becuase idiotick PINKITTY-WINKITTIES were addictrid to

HIS punie stunts doesnt mean that a mastre of PURE PONKINESS,

SPONGTURATION and EVILE DANCING CREATEURES woud puit up with HIM

slackinge off from the createve wrok their was to be done and I didnt

care if it WAS the onlie way he cud acheve orngarsm.

Not even iff he drest up as an animat martshmalow woud I do him in (I

am not at alle fond of the idea of animat martshmalows becuase I once

had a dreme where a pilow ate me), and so I cotinued on. Yes, I give

HIM the moste elegint and dazeling displaye of pyretechnik tonglashing

in the histroy of evrythinge and "Boob" eventually telles me to SHUNT

THE FRUCKUP but I pretendid I did'nt underastnd (by not knowing what a

FRUNCKUP was, wich I actuly DO for I have acess to ARKAIN BOKES in my

LARGE LIBERY of KNOLWEDGE only acessible to me) and caried on and on

until he droops his flashie grinn and storks off in ahoof. Then we all

here shotts outside the dore and find he toped himslef D.I.Y. It didnt

afect his backstag maner. Eventualy he managed to perswade JARR to

LAZER him to death in a septacular flode of lite duringe the oncores.

But "Boob" is soone to finde he cant outsmrat MARGORILLA FUCKNETS as I

have cuningly decided to KILL MYSLEF FIRST IN THE FIRST NOTE OF THE

FIRST BARR OF THE FIRST SONG OF THE FIRST SHOWE BY A VERY FAST MENES

LIKE A NATOMIC BONG (make suir you by tickets, its bowned to be soled

out quick now this is anounced). These little backstag tifs are all

prat of the wackire-than-beilevable live of a MEGRASTAR GROPE MEMBRE

wich I am now being, and ONCE AGIN the PLUVERISING ABOSLUT KILLING

FLORE ALL-ON DRILLO CANUCKS POWRE SHOAS youre nothinge but a STOOPID!

STOOPID! hapeless ZEROE. I lett "Boob" LIVE ON, the wrost punishmente for

you being that HE is ALLE YOU DESERVE FOR A SAVOIUR and you DONT EVEN

NOTIS!

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.